blame at every turn

Yang Ya was a little confused, no matter how he thought about it, he couldn't believe it: "You really treat me as a friend?"

Yue Qin nodded.

His heart is not so strong, he only dared to use the strength of wine to secretly kiss Yang Ya, who was also drunk and sleepy, and he did not dare to express his feelings frankly after the times have changed and things have changed.

Yue Qin was afraid of being rejected, afraid that even if the two could continue to keep in touch after being rejected, there would be an emotional gap due to embarrassment.So being friends is the safest choice for him at this stage. If he gets in touch with a lot, he might find an opportunity to change his friendship. It is also a very good ending, he can hide from a safe distance and watch Yang Ya silently, only approach him when he needs it, and give him a support.Knowing that Yang Ya is happy, being able to talk to Yang Ya is enough to satisfy Yue Qin.

But Yang Ya didn't think so.

In his opinion, the word "friend" is a kind of desecration of the relationship between the two.How could they be just friends?If so, what was his vigorous confession when he was young, and what was the tortuous temptation last night?

Thinking about the possible cause of the problem, the pancakes in Yang Ya's hands were no longer fragrant.

"Yue Qin, I can explain why I left without saying goodbye eight years ago." At that time, he really couldn't help himself.Yang Ya didn't want to say it, because this matter was a scab in his heart that couldn't go away—at least for now, he would bleed when he touched it, and his cover-up and avoidance were all out of instinctive self-protection.If not necessary, Yang Ya hopes that certain memories will rot forever in the darkest corner of his heart.

And now is the very moment when the secret must be dug out for others to see.

In front of Yue Qin, Yang Ya is always very contradictory.

He will sell miserably because he is eager to get more attention from Yue Qin. Selling miserably is his natural skill and his habitual action. A little cold can't even walk.

At the same time, he didn't want Yue Qin to imagine him too miserable.

Yang Ya realized early on that there was something wrong with Yue Qin's character.

In recent years, due to the needs of filming, Yang Ya has studied a little psychology and learned a term called helping personality. The reason for this is that he was neglected at an early age and shouldered the responsibility of taking care of himself and others prematurely. If you don't help others, you won't be loved" mental shackles, equating social interaction with "being needed", giving priority to others in everything, and often ignoring yourself.

Yue Qin is a typical helping personality.

Yang Ya's parents divorced when he was nine years old, and he was sentenced to be raised by his mother Song Subai.Song Subai was not like the kind of mother depicted in ordinary books and film and television works. She had no feelings for Yang Ya. After divorcing Yang Zhengze, she fostered Yang Ya at her single cousin's house and wandered the world for her dreams.

And Yang Ya's uncle is a wretched pedophile.He hides very deeply, and on the surface he is a sociable bank clerk. He was even commended for his bravery, and even the police were fooled by him.Yang Ya asked others for help, but no one was willing to believe him. In the end, he could only place his hope on Yue Qin, who was only 12 years old at the time.

If the time of being alone, molested and abused was the lingering nightmare of Yang Ya’s childhood, Yue Qin was beaten half to death because of him, and in the weather of more than ten degrees below zero, he gave his down jacket to him. He, wearing a thin sweater, dragged his broken calf, stepped on a full ten centimeters of snow and walked home with him for three kilometers. It was engraved in his bone marrow, and he would never dare to A heavy feeling that is forgotten and cannot be let go.

Yue Qin got the media's attention at the price of walking through the ghost gate, finally uncovered Yang Ya's uncle's perfect disguise, sent this scumbag to prison, and let Yang Ya know that he is a A person who will fight for himself.

The seed of admiration took root in the still young heart, and grew into an evergreen tree under the careful care of the master, and Yang Ya knew from then on that the so-called love is not just about taking and possessing , true love is at least based on the premise of not hurting the other party.

So every time Yang Ya sells miserably, he has carefully considered it. He doesn't want Yue Qin to do anything for him that is beyond his own ability or that may hurt him, and he doesn't want to give Yue Qin too much psychological burden.

And if this matter is said, it will undoubtedly increase Yue Qin's psychological burden.

But if he doesn’t say it, Yue Qin will continue to misunderstand him—Yang Ya firmly believes that Yue Qin still loves him deeply, but he just misunderstood the reason why he left without saying goodbye eight years ago, and he is disappointed and distrusts him , would want to return to the relationship with him as a friend.

He thought about it for a long time, and when he was about to speak, he heard Yue Qin say: "Don't get entangled, let the past be the past tense."

Yang Ya raised his head and looked at Yue Qin with a look of astonishment, but Yue Qin's expressionless face was wearing his signature smirk, as if he had just been punched by Yang Ya, somewhat bitter and tender. A forced smile.

Yue Qin originally wanted to give Yang Ya a gentle smile of encouragement, but he was too nervous to manage his expressions well.

He didn't care about the reason why Yang Ya left without saying goodbye. If Yang Ya didn't want to say it, he wouldn't ask.Compared with a truth that has been covered in dust for many years, he cares more about Yang Ya's entanglement with this matter.He knew that Yang Ya would feel guilty for this, and he had been tortured by this matter far more than him, so when Yang Ya asked to explain this matter, Yue Qin's first reaction was that if Yang Ya behaved too much If you are entangled, tell him not to force it anymore, there is no need to be trapped in the past, let go of guilt and anxiety.

But in Yang Ya's view, this is not the case.

Yue Qin refused to listen to his explanation.

It seems that no matter what reason he left Yue Qin in the first place, it doesn't matter to Yue Qin anymore.For him, the relationship between them is a thing of the past, and Yue Qin just has no feelings for him anymore.

It's just that he is so handsome, Yue Qin still has a worldly desire for his body.

Yang Ya suddenly remembered a friend of his who was a movie star.

30 years old, once had a love affair that was unforgettable but ended without a problem. He claimed that he was emotionally hurt and could no longer fall in love with anyone. They all have an ambiguous attitude of inseparability, but at the same time they are very sober and restrained. They go to bed only to solve their physical needs, and they never distract their kidneys but their hearts.

Yang Ya can't agree with this, but he doesn't like to judge anything. As far as he knows, many people in the circle are like this. Maybe this is just a very common adult's life attitude, but his thinking is relatively conservative , it is not acceptable.

He thought Yue Qin would be the same as himself.

——It turned out that he was thinking too much.Yue Qin also failed to escape the filth of the world, and finally grew into a filthy adult that he couldn't understand the most.

But Yang Ya didn't want to give up.

Although to him, as long as Yue Qin can be happy, it doesn't matter whether he belongs to him or not.But Yue Qin's personality is too easy to be led by the nose, he is not suitable for this kind of overly open attitude towards life, he doesn't tie people to him, Yang Ya is afraid that he will be used by scum, and he will be hurt badly.

Since Yue Qin is not famous yet, and he is greedy for his own body, he has enough excellent conditions, why not try to win it?