blame at every turn

The last time Yang Ya cried was when he was 12 years old.

Because someone said he was a dog raised by a homeless man, he beat that man up. Not only was he reprimanded by the teacher, but he was also punished. Yang Ya returned home full of anger and broke it at Yue Qin's house a bowl.

He was crying not because he felt wronged by being angry at school, but because Yue Qiqiao beat him in front of Yue Qin after he dropped the bowl.Yue Qin and Yue Qiqiao are the only two people in this world that he really cares about. He can bear other people's bad treatment to him. No effort, Yang Ya still felt the burning pain in his body, the grievance was like a flash flood, and he was submerged in an instant. He didn't dare to fight back, so he could only cry on the sofa, crying until his head swelled and his eyes hurt .

Yue Qin secretly took two pieces of brown sugar from the kitchen, tried to go up to comfort him several times, but was stopped by Yue Qiqiao.That was the first time Yue Qin and Yang Ya saw Yue Qiqiao's ruthless side. With a straight face, she blocked Yue Qin against the door panel behind her with her body, and let Yang Ya lie on the sofa crying and twitching. Without saying a word, his eyes were as cold as looking at a pile of useless waste.

They all thought she had changed, no longer the gentle and tough mother.

Yue Qin didn't understand why Yue Qiqiao did this. In his opinion, Yang Ya just broke a bowl, and he was in a bad mood, which is understandable.And Yang Ya was even more desperate to the point of collapse, he thought that because of such a small incident, Yue Qiqiao was going to beat him, maybe next time, he would be kicked out of the house.

Yang Ya was very afraid that he would be abandoned by Yue Qin and Yue Qiqiao. He already had nothing, and he didn't want to lose the last two people who were willing to love him.Yue Qin was also very worried that Yue Qiqiao would drive Yang Ya out of the house. Although he was able to make money, it was not enough for him to support another minor. Yue Qiqiao still supported their family expenses. The bulk of the money required.

However, Yue Qiqiao quickly confirmed to them that he would not do this.

She is dumb, and Yang Ya doesn't know much about sign language. In order to let him understand why she was angry more directly, Yue Qiqiao deliberately dug out her old mobile phone that she hadn't used for many years, and used her broken palm to press the keys one by one. Press the button to convert everything she wants to say into voice, and play it to the two children.

She said that what made her angry was not that Yang Ya smashed a bowl at home. Their family was poor, but they were far from poor enough to feel sorry for losing a bowl. It was Yang Ya who made her angry. Ya angered them because of something else, which violated her bottom line, so she beat him just to teach him a lesson.

"A person is forced to steal because of his life. After his behavior is exposed, everyone will hate him because his behavior is bad and has caused harm to others. No one will care why he Will go this way, even if someone has learned about his past, sympathy for him will not be enough to alleviate his crime, because although he is pitiful, aren't those who have been stolen? Just stole someone's life-saving money? The causal relationship in the world is very complicated. To judge whether a person is good or bad, it is never based on how much suffering he has experienced. The world will only go Let's see what he did in the end and what consequences it caused."

"That person said bad things about you, you beat him, he deserved it. And you broke a bowl at home because of the unfair judgment by the school and the teacher, which is considered to be angry. If you continue to let it go For your emotions, if you break a bowl at home today, you may smash all the dishes in the cafeteria tomorrow. This way of venting will encourage your irritability and impulsiveness, and you will become a complete When the time comes, everyone will hate you, and no one will understand why you became like this, even if they understand, they will find it difficult to understand and sympathize with you because of their different experiences, and even if they sympathize, they will wish you to die."

"You may think, 'Why should I care what other people think of me? When I feel unhappy, I have to vent it, even if it hurts others, it's fine if I feel happy myself.' But Yang Ya, I hope you can Understand that we live in a society. Everything we have, whether it is good or bad, is in a sense given to us by other people in the society. People die."

"Even if you've done nothing wrong, there will always be people with ill intentions against you. These are not the source of your pain, but they will be the fuel of your pain. Like the people who say bad things about you, they make you unable to control If you hit someone yourself, the school can only choose to punish you, whether it is because you are more afraid of the other parent's parents, or because it does not encourage the atmosphere of fighting. And if you start to turn bad, the world will become more and more malicious towards you , then your pain will multiply, and everything will become irreversible like an avalanche, and it will never get better."

"Moreover, when you hurt others indiscriminately, you are not venting your emotions reasonably, you are igniting yourself, exploding, and implicating others while hurting yourself. Otherwise, why would you choose to go home Just broke the bowl, instead of rushing into the school cafeteria and smashing all the plates? That's because you treat us as the closest people, so you choose to vent your emotions in front of us. But now you calm down Come down and think about it, you broke a bowl at home, and the debris you didn't clean up may stab our feet in the future. We didn't do anything wrong. Why do you punish yourself like this, and you have to Hurting someone closest to you?"

"Having said so much, Yang Ya, I hope you can stop your losses in time. You must restrain your emotions at any time, don't be influenced by them, let yourself go bad, and everything will get better."

After struggling to "say" this to Yang Ya, Yue Qiqiao lovingly touched Yue Qin's head, and told him in sign language: I also hope that you will never lose your judgment and recognize the good and bad of people and things. Don't be the one to light fire on other people's pain.Indulging others to do wrong when it is inappropriate is the same as stepping on others when they are in the most pain. It is the same kind of ignition, so never condone their mistakes just because you know their misfortune.

Afterwards, both of them were working hard to digest and practice Yue Qiqiao's teachings.

Yang Ya lived in Yueqin's house at the age of nine, and at the age of 15, he was completely accustomed to living with the mother and son of the Yueqin family.He didn't have any nostalgia for his original home, but until he was 15 years old, Yang Ya still kept the habit of staying at Yang Zhengze's place during the holidays.It's not because he still has a trace of father-son affection for Yang Zhengze, on the contrary, Yang Ya hates Yang Zhengze extremely, and his hatred is still accumulating as he grows older.

Yang Zhengze is a tall man with sound limbs, he can smash a door with one kick.

It's a pity that he didn't use his strength on the right path.

Yang Zhengze has no job.When Song Subai was still around, he sucked Song Subai's blood and gambled with the money she earned. Every day he fantasized about sitting in the casino and strategizing to make a fortune, but every time he lost everything.

He was drinking and domestic violence, Song Subai couldn't stand him, divorced and left, Yang Zhengze could only live on the money borrowed from the casino.

After Yang Ya came back from Song Subai's cousin, Yang Zhengze forced Yang Ya to take care of him, doing this and that for himself, and often used him to vent his dissatisfaction with life. The most serious time, he stabbed him with a broken wine bottle. When Yue Qin asked, Yang Ya just gritted his teeth and said that he accidentally fell and hit his back, and he didn't dare to tell Yang Ya. If Ze had any complaints, he didn't dare to resist, because the two families lived opposite each other, Yang Zhengze threatened him with Yue Qiqiao, Yang Ya was afraid that he would anger Yue Qiqiao because of him, and hurt this innocent woman.

When Yang Ya's high school entrance examination was about to end, Yang Zhengze disappeared from this house.

Not only did Yang Ya not be relieved by this, but his mental pressure was even greater.He didn't tell anyone about Yang Zhengze's disappearance, and he still ran to Yang Zhengze's side every day, and even the time he stayed at Yue Qin's house became shorter and shorter, because since Yang Zhengze disappeared from the world, every day There will always be different people coming to him. These people are all sent by the casino, saying that Yang Zhengze owes them money, and the money Yang Zhengze owes is not a small amount. The casino's relationship with him There are investigation records. They know that Yang Ya is Yang Zhengze's son. Yang Ya has no way to disentangle himself from his relationship with Yang Zhengze. He can only bite the bullet and tell them about himself under their increasingly severe urging. His father is not there, so let them look for him elsewhere.

Later, when they got impatient with the urging, they told him directly that they wanted his father to pay the debt.

But Yang Ya is still just a child who is about to graduate from junior high school, and he is simply unable to repay the huge sum owed by Yang Zhengze.

The people in the casino are also quite "tolerant", and gave Yang Ya two choices: either he stays and pays off his father's debts, 500 per month before he becomes an adult, and at least 3000 after he becomes an adult, with an interest rate of 10%; or he follows them. , to work for them.It was not that Yang Ya had never considered calling the police or asking Yue Qin and Yue Qiqiao for help, but he was afraid that the safety of the mother and child of the Yue family would be threatened if the people in the casino found out. They diverted their attention away, so they chose the second path.

The casinos here are only short of money, and there is no shortage of him, a minor who has not even grown his hair yet. They escorted him to other casinos, where people play bigger and have more fun, almost taking money. Life is a gamble.

There are no restrictions on boxing rules in casinos. No matter what kind of means the boxer uses, as long as he wins wonderfully and makes the audience enjoy watching, it doesn't matter how dirty the means are.

Moreover, because it is a gray area, basically all boxers are bought by casinos, without personal freedom, some are not favored, and no one will stop them if they are beaten to death in the boxing ring. The live feed bought at a high price was specially released for the spectators to compare and display, highlighting how powerful their gold medalists are.

Yang Ya was originally one of the "live feed".

He is young and his body has not yet grown up. Even if he was born as a sports student, his strength is no better than that of an adult.In addition, except for him, the vast majority of people here will use "supplements" to improve themselves, and the gap has been doubled. If it is only about strength, it is impossible for him to win anyone.

When he first arrived at the casino, the owner of the casino showed him how the last "live feed" was torn to pieces by their gold medalist, and offered him a trial "supplement" for free.But Yang Ya refused, he knew that this thing would be addictive, and only the first one was free, and the following ones were all expensive, once he was bound by this bad thing, not only his body would deteriorate, but his spirit would also deteriorate. I've been trapped here for a lifetime, and I can't get out of it for the rest of my life.

Yang Ya didn't want to die, nor did he want to become bad.He wants to maintain a "good" state from the inside out, and look for opportunities to escape completely.But because he refused the "tonic", the owner of the casino arranged for him a life-and-death duel that was almost impossible to win. Yang Ya tried his best to stand until the end.

However, everything did not get better because of his fame in World War I.

The following life of Yang Ya can be described as hell: his injuries will never fully heal. When he goes to the boxing ring, he has to face violent and crazy opponents. When he left the boxing ring, he had to be on high alert, guarding against the temptation and hostility around him.Every day Yang Ya spent in the casino, even breathing was extremely painful.

People immersed in such an environment full of madness and violence for a long time, surrounded by hostility and malicious intentions, it is very difficult not to be assimilated by the environment. A child whose three views have not yet been fully formed.

He tried his best to stick to his position, and when he felt pain, he would look at the things he "brought" from Yue Qin, think about Yue Qin and Yue Qiqiao, know that he is still loved by someone, no matter how painful his bones are, Yang Ya could also sleep with a sweet heart.

However, over time, this unique healing method has gradually distorted into a kind of paranoia.

Although Yang Ya knew that it was unhealthy for him to think like this, many times he still couldn't help thinking why Yue Qiqiao had never thought that he would suffer such inhuman torture, and taught him to endure suffering and restrain his emotions ;Why did Yue Qin obviously like him, but refused to come forward to save himself.

The psychological defense line Yang Ya set up for himself gradually turned into a cave where he couldn't see his fingers. What he missed about Yue Qin and Yue Qiqiao was the gold and silver treasures piled up in the cave. Yang Ya lay on the pile of treasures and said nothing. Ken let go, and gradually, he turned into a dragon imprisoned in the cave by his own desire.

After being rescued from the casino by the police, Yang Ya thought he was free.However, he rushed home at the first time and found that Yue Qin and Yue Qiqiao were gone. He asked around, but no one knew where they had gone. He completely cut off contact with them, which made the treasure in his heart become It became more precious, and the dragon was even more reluctant to leave his treasure pile from then on.

But with the passage of time, other than that, as long as the most painful memory is not touched, everything about Yang Ya is developing in a good direction as Yue Qiqiao said.

He was extremely thankful that he hadn't turned bad, that he had truly experienced all the hardships and experienced the warmth of being in the world.His soul was split in two, his obsession quickly sank, the dragon guarded his treasure pile and fell into a deep sleep, and the rest of him was pushing him to become better and more dazzling, Yang Ya hoped that one day he could Take back his real treasure, so that the evil dragon in his heart can be relieved and disappear completely.

but…

Now Yang Ya recalled the "nightmare" last night, even if Yue Qin told him that it was just a nightmare, Yang Ya still felt that the details of the dream were shocking.

This made him have to seriously reflect on himself after calming down.

Yang Ya realized that the obsession in his heart was still too deep and distorted. No matter how hard he tried to restrain himself, his worries would eventually hurt Yue Qin and himself one day.

Maybe he should stop evading, explain his problems to Yue Qin frankly, and then solemnly apologize for his previous actions.

After that, did Yue Qin decide to leave him again, or...

--never mind.

Yang Ya suddenly felt that he shouldn't give himself too much hope.

He should not be as important to Yue Qin as he imagined, otherwise he wouldn't care about where he went eight years ago.

If people want to live happily, they still have to lower their expectations, otherwise the greater the hope, the greater the disappointment.

Thinking of this, he sent Yue Qin a WeChat message, asking if he had time to go home at noon, saying that he wanted to confess something to him.

In the lounge of the nursing home, Yue Qin's cell phone rang several times one after another. He didn't pay attention to it, but just stared at Yang Zhengze intently, his eyes were sharp as if he wanted to kill this person immediately.

He held a pen in his hand and tapped the table from time to time: "So, you betrayed your son in order to avoid debts."

"You can say that." Yang Zhengze admitted confidently.

"The debt collectors blocked Yang Ya for more than ten days. During this time, you were in a state of 'evaporating from the world', but when my mother and I found out that Yang Ya was gone, you were 'resurrected' again. Yes," Yue Qin gritted his back molars, "Do you still remember when I asked you where Yang Ya went, what did you say?"

"You said that he was taken back by his grandparents to become the young master of the rich family. I went to the Yang family's mansion to find someone, but I was kicked out as someone who was seeking connections. It took me a lot of effort to sneak into the villa. Those who did not find Yang Ya will come back and ask you, and you will say that he has murdered someone and fled in fear of crime."

"At that time, you still cursed him, scolded him until you believed it was true, and directly reported to the police. Later, after investigation and evidence collection, it was confirmed that there was no such thing at all. You were supposed to face ten days of detention, but soon It was found that he had a history of psychiatric disease diagnosis, and finally passed the appraisal, and did not bear any criminal responsibility."

Hearing Yue Qin talk about this, Yang Zhengze was a little proud: "Mental illness is indeed a good thing."

Yue Qin nodded, and said in a deep voice as if endorsing: "If a mental patient causes harmful results when he cannot recognize or control his behavior, it is true that he will not be held criminally responsible if it has been identified and confirmed by legal procedures, but when necessary, he must Compulsory medical treatment."

"Then guess," he suddenly leaned forward, lowered his voice and pretended to be mysterious, "you are suspected of participating in ice trafficking for more than ten grams, can this certificate guarantee you free admission to a mental hospital?"

Hearing that Yang Zhengze was so startled that he almost knocked over the sofa.

He stood up abruptly, then sat back quickly, pretending to be calm and said: "I don't understand what you're talking about."

"Literally. You didn't have a serious job before, and now you owe money to others, and it's 100 million when you open your mouth. I'm curious how you got here in the past few years, and your work experience is too obvious, just look for it. A person who knows a little bit can find out the problem once he checks it."

Yue Qin sat back on the sofa, and there was another mobile phone in his hand, "Thanks to you coming early today, I can still talk to you before the police arrive. You should also be glad that I came late today ,otherwise…"

He stared at Yang Zhengze for a while, then suddenly waved his hand in the direction of the window, a swish of black flew out of the window, and then fell straight into the lake in a daze.

It wasn't until he watched the phone sink to the bottom that Yang Zhengze belatedly realized that it was his phone.

He got angry for a moment, got up without saying a word, grabbed Yue Qin's collar, and punched Yue Qin's eyes. Unexpectedly, Yue Qin was prepared for this, and firmly caught his fist. Against the backdrop of him, a ten thousand year old alcoholic and drug addict who is strong in the outside world, although Yue Qin looks thin, he cannot be described as "weak". With a twist, while dislocating Yang Zhengze's wrist on the spot, he also turned around and threw him over his shoulder, throwing him directly to the ground.

"There are things I've wanted to do for a long time, why do you think I chose this meeting place?"

Yue Qin stepped on Yang Zhengze's sleeve, crushed it hard twice, and looked at him condescendingly.

"My mother didn't teach me not to fight back with fire, just that when dealing with someone who hurt me, it's better to be careful and not let other people find out."

"There is no monitoring from the entrance of the village to here. Everyone you have seen before is mine. They will not speak any testimony against me. Leather gloves with fingerprints, and you are also a mental patient, if I have any negligence, it is probably that I did not prepare a pair of shoe covers in advance."

Saying that, Yue Qin squatted down, pinched Yang Zhengze's neck expressionlessly: "But it's okay, at worst, I'll go back barefoot."

"you you…!"

——Yang Zhengze never thought that things would develop like this.

In his impression, Yue Qin has always been a more timid and indecisive bitch than Yang Ya, and Yang Ya has to stand in front of him in everything. He thought that Yue Qin would never do anything to him, so Dare to flaunt his might and shake off all his previous actions.He didn't expect Yue Qin to be so... dare.

Yang Zhengze is not a desperado.

But the current Yue Qin looks like, although judging from his body shape, he has a good chance of winning if he really wants to go all out, Yang Zhengze still doesn't dare to go all out. Due to the explosive force of the over-the-shoulder fall, Yang Zhengze still held his breath and did not dare to move. He even began to pray that the police car would arrive soon.

He didn't speak, neither did Yue Qin, the two of them were deadlocked like this, until there was a commotion outside the lounge, Yue Qin let go of the hand that was clamping Yang Zhengze's neck, and patted the hand he had left on his cuff. footprint.

"This negotiation is very pleasant, and I am very happy to reach a win-win cooperation with you." Yue Qin got up, took off his gloves, and threw the ball into the trash can, "Guaranteed seven years of free food and lodging, I hope you will be satisfied. Also, even if you are lucky enough to be saved by your mental illness certificate, and you are still in the mental hospital because you behaved well and were quickly released, don't take chances and think that your so-called 'handle' can be used against Yang Ya. No threat, after all, no one will trust the words of a mental patient, and with sufficient preparation time, my 'plan' for you will only be stricter than it is now."

Until Yang Zhengze was taken away, he couldn't recover from Yue Qin's seemingly flimsy threat.

After Yue Qin finished taking notes, he saw Lu Yat-nian and Peng Song sitting side by side in front of the milk tea shop across the street waiting for him, and suddenly he didn't know how to walk.His limbs were stiff, and he walked up to the two of them with the same hands and feet, took the sticky chicken that Lu Yat-nian gave him, and bit it down with a crunch, almost piercing his gums with a bamboo stick.

When he and Yang Zhengze were confronting each other, both of them watched the whole process in the monitoring room of the nursing home. Peng Song and Lu Yat-nian were sitting, looking up at Yue Qin eagerly. Apart from admiration, there was more in their eyes Be careful.

Representative Lu Yat-nian was the first to speak: "So, Qinqin, did you really plan to lynch him...well, lynch him?"

"No, it's just to scare him," Yue Qin replied, "It's just talking and not breaking the law. No one knows how to obey the law better than me."

"Then... where are the gloves?" Peng Song leaned towards Lu Yat-nian, trying to improve his courage when facing Yue Qin by holding a group.

He thought to himself that if Meng Yi was so scary, he would rather keep his life clean and be a delicate flower that can only be seen from a distance.

"That's because my cleanliness broke out."

In order to avoid being poked by the bamboo stick again, Yue Qin took a bite of the sticky chicken from the side. With this bite, his mouth was covered with crispy dough, but Yue Qin didn't mind it, he bulged like a hamster Chewing on half of his cheeks, he squinted his eyes in satisfaction: "When you throw out the trash, don't you just grab it with your hands and throw it out instead of putting a bag on it?"

The author says:

It may not be updated at 10 o'clock tomorrow.