Banshuharu

It was windy at night.Walking on the road, Ping Qiu shrank his neck as if being pinched by the air, lowered his head and walked quickly along the curb.Behind him was Xu Xiuyuan who followed closely at a constant speed, neither catching up nor chasing his way, only occasionally stepping on the long and short black shadow under Zhong Pingqiu's feet.

After entering the house, after Xu Xiuyuan changed his shoes, Pingqiu had already picked up his clothes and hurried to the bathroom.The previous coat was hanging on the back of the sofa, and because of the haste to take it off, the sleeves on both sides were hooked one outside and the other inside.Pingqiu always wears a short-sleeved jacket when he goes out, and the jacket sticks to his skin, which still has residual warmth.Xu Xiuyuan put his arms into his sleeves, paused for a second before turning the sleeves from the inside, then the other side.

There was a splash of water in the bathroom.Knocking on the door, the sound of water stopped, it was Ping Qiu who asked: "What's wrong?"

Xu Xiuyuan leaned against the door panel and answered normally: "Are you hungry, do you want to eat?"

"No, I'm not hungry. It's late, go to bed first."

It seemed that he was afraid that Xu Xiuyuan would not let him go, and the sound of water immediately reappeared.

Pingqiu ignored the little movement outside the door like stealing the bell, and kept scrubbing his chest and neck.After rinsing off the foam, he held his neck and stood in front of the mirror, and found that the red mark left by Lu Yang became more and more conspicuous under the hot water.He stood in front of the mirror for a while, his shoulders gradually sank, and then walked back under the shower head barefoot, repeatedly thinking about whether Xu Xiuyuan had discovered something during the journey from meeting Xu Xiuyuan in the hotel to returning home.He deceived himself so much that he didn't want to believe that Xu Xiuyuan might have seen through his disguise, and he didn't even have the slightest courage to face it.

After taking a shower and turning off the lights, Pingqiu purposely pulled out a dry towel and wrapped it around his neck.The bedroom is quiet, except for the slight movement of the air conditioner.The room was pitch black, Pingqiu leaned on the wall with both hands, carefully walked around the floor and sat on the edge of the bed.The bamboo mat on the soles of his feet was cold, he folded his legs unconsciously, put his left foot on the instep of his right foot, and saw that Xu Xiuyuan was sleeping soundly with his back facing him, he breathed a sigh of relief, gently pulled off the towel, then turned on the phone to silent, As expected, I received news from Lu Yang before.

It was a very long passage, Pingqiu's head was in a mess, he was restless, he exited the chat box after reading two lines, then clicked into the text message column, and stared blankly at the two-character text message under the unsigned number.He was sitting in a daze, and he was also in a daze while lying on his side. He compared the numbers repeatedly to make sure that it was Xu Ruiyang's number, but he couldn't understand why he suddenly called tonight and sent another message with unknown meaning. SMS.

Really unable to see through this intention, Pingqiu was so nervous that he scratched his fingers, and then put his index finger in his mouth to bite.After a long while, he knocked on a question mark to send. Excessive anxiety made him a little tinnitus, so he ignored the faint buzzing in the room, and his doubts, anxiety and that little bit of expectation were also lost in the long after-hours. It faded away in silence.

Pingqiu lay on his back in a daze, holding the phone tightly in his palm.The excitement subsided, replaced by a powerful wave of self-loathing.He spurned his own weakness and incompetence, and let Xu Ruiyang lead him by the nose easily, and his eyes and cheeks became hot all of a sudden.After a long time, he turned on the screen again, but his finger was hanging on the OK button to delete the chat content, and he couldn't press it for a long time.Until this time, Ping Qiu was sure that he still had a shameful illusion about Xu Ruiyang.

They fell in love when they were teenagers, and they were in love at the beginning. At first, they were ignorant. A kiss after school made each other sure of their hearts.Fortunately, the township middle school at that time felt that it was not normal for the two boys to behave intimately, but because the news was relatively closed, no one would suspect that they were close brothers on the surface, but in private they would squeeze into the same toilet cubicle during the break The breathless "good friend" in the kiss.

The boy couldn't hold back Liao Yuan's love. Although Ping Qiu was shy by nature, his first love with Xu Ruiyang was his most daring and desperate love.Not counting the Xu family, when the time for the senior high school entrance examination was approaching in the third year of junior high school, they would hide in any corner of the school almost every day and kiss inseparably.Even though it was the first time they fell in love, Xu Ruiyang acted extremely seasoned. Ping Qiu was repeatedly defeated by his immoral affection, and he still can't imagine that he would let Xu Ruiyang do whatever he wanted at that time, and even acquiesced in being behind everyone's back in middle school again and again. The old corridor accepts his kiss.

As for their further physical contact, it happened during the summer vacation after the senior high school entrance examination.When the grades were released, Xu Ruiyang happened to be at the top of the line. Taking advantage of his parents' worries, he asked Pingqiu to go to the ancient town in the next county with him for a day and a night to do exam rewards.Parents were in a good mood at the time, they had no doubt about him, they gave him double the pocket money before leaving the house, and told him not to treat Pingqiu badly, after all, with Xu Ruiyang's grades being able to squeeze into Pugao, more than half of the credit has to go to everyone Zhou fixed Pingqiu who gave him friendship tutoring.

Besides, Xu Xiuyuan, who was bored at home during the elementary school summer vacation, was given to Xu Ruiyang by his parents.During this trip, Xu Ruiyang harbored ulterior motives and disliked his younger brother for being too cumbersome. At first, he refused to say anything. Because of this, he had conflicts with his parents, and half of his pocket money was taken back.Xu Ruiyang turned to Pingqiu for support, but Pingqiu didn't mind, and asked Xu Ruiyang to remind them that they had other purposes for this night out.But he faltered and murmured, with ghosts in his heart. He was afraid that Xu Ruiyang's resistance would arouse the suspicion of Xu's parents, so he actively persuaded Xu Ruiyang.There was really no way, so I added Xu Xiuyuan's ticket when I finally booked the ticket.

Unexpectedly, Xu Xiuyuan would be a variable in the middle of the journey. Xu Ruiyang booked a double bed room at the Guzhen B&B, but wanted to change rooms but gave up because the B&B was full, so the more he looked at Xu Xiuyuan, the more he disliked it.When visiting the ancient town at night, he led Ping Qiu far ahead, resenting Xu Xiuyuan for making light bulbs, and found that Ping Qiu always looked behind and clasped his five fingers, but Ping Qiu pulled his hand hard.

Pingqiu's expression was confused and annoyed, he had a lot of opinions on Xu Ruiyang's disgust and rejection towards Xu Xiuyuan, and blamed him saying "he is your brother after all", he turned around and squeezed into the crowd, and found a hug in his arms Xu Xiuyuan of wildflowers.Ping Qiu took him by the hand, Xu Xiuyuan handed the bouquet of wild flowers into his arms, saying that they were pulled out from the weed piles by the side of the road just now, and his two hands were stretched out under the lamp to see that the palms were all rose red flower juice.

The more Pingqiu felt sorry for Xu Xiuyuan's sensible mind, the more he felt that Xu Ruiyang was making trouble out of no reason. In the end, he led Xu Xiuyuan to walk ahead, and Xu Ruiyang kicked stones while following behind, snorting from time to time for attention.Ping Qiu deliberately ignored him, Xu Ruiyang was on fire, the two quarreled until Xu Xiuyuan washed and went to bed and fell asleep, Ping Qiu went into the bathroom, but Xu Ruiyang who was waiting by the door early pushed him to the mirror.

......

Early the next morning, Pingqiu had a splitting headache.It was rare for him to wake up lying on his side, but he didn't expect that when he opened his eyes, the naked and sleepy Xu Xiuyuan would be lying next to him.After the shock, the chaotic memories of last night came one after another, Pingqiu's face was pale, he climbed out of bed in a panic, the burning pain in the base of his leg, and the discomfort of foreign body insertion still existed.While washing and changing his clothes, he opened his legs and saw that the inner skin was red, and it was inevitable that his legs rubbed against each other when walking, and the more they rubbed, the more painful it became.

Even though he knew he was escaping, Ping Qiu took advantage of Xu Xiuyuan's deep sleep and fled.He was depressed, the bicycle was riding fast, and he braked suddenly when he looked up when he saw a red light, his back felt cold, and not far away was the driver of a private car who stuck his head out of the window and yelled at him.

Arrived at the institution in a thrilling journey, but was reminded that there is no shift for him today.The female colleague laughed at him when he saw that he was sweating profusely. He probably fell asleep this morning and didn't know to look at the weather forecast when he woke up. The highest temperature today is more than 30 degrees.The female colleague kindly tucked a tissue into his back collar, but Pingqiu stood up in great reaction, took the tissue in a hurry to thank him, and said he was going home after sitting for a while.

Seeing his strange expression, the female colleague tentatively asked, "Are you feeling unwell? Why is it so strange today? You are the one who arranges our shifts every day, and you still remember it wrong?"

Ping Qiu vaguely said: "I didn't sleep well yesterday, my head was a bit confused."

"Then go home and get some sleep. You still have class in the afternoon. Come over at five o'clock." The female colleague had a flash of inspiration, "And your student Cheng Zinong, he left a note for you , saying that I couldn't get through to you last night, and I couldn't find you, so I left a note. Take a look."

The post-it note was laid out flat, and Cheng Zinong's message was very brief, saying thank you for Pingqiu's coat, and he would wash it and return it.

Pingqiu didn't care, just folded the post-it note and stuffed it into his pocket, then bid farewell to the female colleague and continued to ride back.But he couldn't go back home, so Pingqiu found a place to sit under the shade of a tree in a nearby park, and the people in front of him were all aunts and old men who got up to exercise in the morning, but it was strange to see him alone.

There is no way to recall what happened last night, every time Pingqiu thinks about it, he will have a severe headache.What's shameful is that he actually doubted whether what he longed for last night was the real Xu Xiuyuan, or the Xu Ruiyang separated from Xu Xiuyuan's body.Maybe he shouldn't agree to keep Xu Xiuyuan at all, he and Xu Ruiyang are more and more like Xu Ruiyang, that's why Pingqiu cares about when he's in a trance, turns his head, and retreats again and again.

At this time, the horizontal frame of a day reminder jumped on the screen of the phone, and Ping Qiu remembered that today is Lu Yang's weekly rest day. According to the previous arrangement, they usually make an appointment one day in advance, which is counted as a weekly fixed appointment .He patted his head annoyedly, hastily re-opened the message from last night, carefully read it from beginning to end, during which Lu Yang's empathy and proper regress made Pingqiu feel even more ashamed.He hastily packed up his things and changed his destination, because he was not sure whether Lu Yang was at home or still in the hotel. Ping Qiu called him when he was waiting for the red light, but Lu Yang's phone was turned off.

The elevator in the residential building was being repaired. Ping Qiu climbed up to the eighth floor in one go. He knocked on the door of Lu Yang's house for a long time but no one answered. He called again, but it was still shut down.He went out in a hurry and didn't bring a spare key, so he could only sit in the corridor with his head in his hands dejectedly. As time passed, the courage he mustered when he came came was exhausted during the long wait.After being unable to contact Lu Yang for a long time, Ping Qiu typed "I'm sorry" three times in the chat box with him, and said that he would call back anytime.

Sitting upright, his legs were numb, the phone rang suddenly, Ping Qiu hurriedly checked the call, it was not Lu Yang, but Xu Xiuyuan.

The heart that had finally fallen back into the belly from the throat, kicked up the internal organs again.Ping Qiu didn't dare to answer the phone, he let the phone vibrate and vibrate in his palm.However, Xu Xiuyuan obviously didn't intend to let Pingqiu go. No one answered the two phone calls, so he simply asked him where he was, what he was doing, and whether he was safe or not.

Seeing that Xu Xiuyuan didn't bring up the absurd incident last night, Pingqiu calmed down a little, and deliberately waited for nearly a quarter of an hour before replying: "I have something to do, I'm outside."

Xu Xiuyuan asked again: Can I talk on the phone?I have something to tell you.

Pingqiu replied slowly: What's the matter?

Xu Xiuyuan said: Xu Ruiyang seems to be planning to come here to find me, what are you going to do?

There was no reply for a long time, which was expected by Xu Xiuyuan.He sat upside down on the soft cushioned swivel chair in Pingqiu's bedroom, with his feet on the ground, the chair swiveled half a circle.Another foot on the ground, another half circle.He knocked on the second sentence: I have a way for you to avoid him.When will you come back, let me tell you, it is not clear here.

Finally, Ping Qiu hesitated for a long time, but was defeated by the topic about Xu Ruiyang.He replied that Xu Xiuyuan would be back soon, and knocked on the door for a while before leaving Lu Yang's house, but still no one answered.Pingqiu returned without success.

On the other end, Xu Xiuyuan stretched heavily, leaned against the backrest, and bent down to take out another black mobile phone from the backpack interlayer at his feet.On the unread message interface displayed on the screen, there was a reply from "Pingqiu" after midnight last night.He slid to unlock it, and replied under Ping Qiu's unclear question mark: Have you seen Xu Xiuyuan recently?

When Pingqiu arrived home, Xu Xiuyuan was lying on the floor sleeping.He was still shirtless, and there was a tooth mark on his shoulder that the blanket couldn't cover.Ping Qiu stood at the end of the bed, not knowing whether he should go forward, but Xu Xiuyuan opened his eyes with a keen sense, propped up his upper body and looked at Ping Qiu, speaking in a nasal voice, as if he had a cold.

While boiling the hot water, Xu Xiuyuan was already fully dressed and sitting on the sofa in the living room.Pingqiu put the water glass in front of him, and as soon as he sat down, he heard Xu Xiuyuan straight to the point: "I remember everything about last night. You didn't force me, so you don't have to hide from me."

"...I didn't hide from you." Ping Qiu denied it with difficulty.

"Really? That's the best. I don't want the relationship with you to become awkward. This is not the consequence I thought about when the incident happened last night," Xu Xiuyuan said when he looked up and saw Pingqiu's face full of astonishment, " Don't look at me like that. Do you think you can hide it from me? Aren't you and my brother, and Lu Yang, all the same? Why do you think I'm an adult and don't care about the relationship between you? Don't understand?"

Ping Qiu was speechless, looking at Xu Xiuyuan's calm expression, he seemed to be hit in the back of the head with a stick.For a long time, he said shyly, "You are, when did you know?"

"You want to ask my brother, or Lu Yang?" Xu Xiuyuan said, "My brother, you forgot to close the door at home once, and I saw it. And you haven't come back for the New Year for several years. The place is so small, everyone will pass— — As for Lu Yang, I knew it when we first met. You didn’t realize that, when you came to my house before, you would tell my parents that Xu Ruiyang is your good friend, and you said the same to Lu Yang. You are afraid to admit it Is this kind of relationship still scary now?"

"...You knew earlier, why didn't you ask me? You still came to look for me, would you like to live with me?" Pingqiu asked in a low voice.He picked his fingers uneasily, as if attracted by the contradiction in Xu Xiuyuan's words: "Don't you hate me?"

"I said it last night, but you forgot," Xu Xiuyuan suddenly stepped forward, squatting at Pingqiu's feet, looking up at him carefully, as if examining him, "Since I found out that you were with my brother that time, I'm infected, I can't forget it, it's like rusting in my head - I didn't think I would be like you and my brother, I came here to find the answer, but I found, It seems that even you are confused. It took you so long to figure it out."

Pingqiu avoids his direct gaze, and the ten fingers that are picking at each other shrink into the palm.His voice became lower and lower: "I didn't mean to bring you down, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry - I'll find you a hotel to live in, it must be far away, just now your brother sent me a message, he said He will come to pick you up, you can go with him, I will give you pocket money during this time, don't worry—"

"That's all you want to tell me?" Xu Xiuyuan interrupted coldly.

Ping Qiu anxiously stared at his face, his gaze shifted from his Xu Ruiyang-like eyes to the bridge of his nose.He didn't dare to look into his eyes, as if he would be pierced by Xu Xiuyuan's sharp gaze.He seems to have returned to the submissive Ping Qiu a few years ago. He was reprimanded and pointed out by others because of his sexual distortion. That was Ping Qiu's nightmare. He struggled hard in this nightmare and finally jumped out But Xu Xiuyuan's sudden confession pushed him back.

"I'm asking you, this is all you want to tell me?" Xu Xiuyuan repeated.

"I don't know, I don't know." Ping Qiu's eyes flickered, always trying to avoid Xu Xiuyuan's sight.He was forced to get a little angry, and he yelled uncontrollably: "...Don't look at me, don't look at me like that."

"Why can't I look at you?" Xu Xiuyuan grabbed his sideways knee and controlled Pingqiu's body to face him.His eyes were firm and his tone was aggressive, insisting that Pingqiu make a choice at this moment: "You hurt my brother, and now you hurt me, why can't I look at you?"

"...Don't look at me like this," Ping Qiu said to himself, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, I'm sorry."

"Then you make it up to me," Xu Xiuyuan grabbed Pingqiu's finger that was scratching his palm, tentatively holding it slightly, "I want to determine whether I am impulsive because of you, or whether I really became like you. Humanoid. If you come to help me, just use the time I live here, let me make a confirmation, if you come to help me, it will be compensation for me, how about it?"

Ping Qiu frowned, doubting: "Make it up to you? Can I make it up to you?"

"Yes, you come to compensate me, and only you can compensate me," Xu Xiuyuan said, "This is what you should do, and you owe me."

Pingqiu nodded blankly: "Yes, it's what I should do, and I owe you."

Once the heart defense is broken, Xu Xiuyuan's strategy has always been to take advantage of the victory and pursue it.His left hand was originally holding Ping Qiu's knee tightly, but now, following the speed of his speech, he slowly stroked up Ping Qiu's leg, and finally clasped it on Ping Qiu's waist.

Xu Xiuyuan straightened his upper body slightly, causing Ping Qiu's gaze to move upwards slowly.He said unhurriedly: "I just want to make sure of this matter, and I won't force you for the rest. You can be with Lu Yang, it doesn't matter, but the situation last night-I hope you can tell me boldly, I I won’t think you’re weird, I won’t stop you, and I won’t complain to anyone. You can treat me as a friend of your age, or the same type of friend. You can treat us as if you are doing things for me Whether the experiment is successful or not has nothing to do with you, you don't have to be responsible. As long as you help me, it is considered as compensation to me."

Pingqiu was easily bewitched, he asked in a low voice: "I don't have to be responsible?"

"You just need to help me." Xu Xiuyuan emphasized.

"What kind of help?"

"Like last night."

"Last night——" Pingqiu woke up suddenly, pale with shock, "No, that's not allowed, I'm not awake, I'm sorry for you, I did something wrong, it's all my fault, I can't—"

"It's all your fault, that's why you want to compensate me," Xu Xiuyuan stopped his struggle with one word, looked him straight in the eyes and said, "As long as you sincerely compensate, I'm sure, you and our The grievances and grievances of the family will be written off."

"Is it possible?" Ping Qiu asked.

"Yes, I promise." Xu Xiuyuan said.

At this moment, Pingqiu's cell phone dinged.Lu Yang replied to the message, asking where Ping Qiu was and if he was free today.Xu Xiuyuan got up and sat on the armrest of the sofa, slightly bent over and hugged Pingqiu from behind, and looked at the phone screen with him.

"You can ask him if he can come to the house tonight," Xu Xiuyuan said, "You should talk to him about my brother."