are you a clown

When it comes to studying, Lin Chensan was surprised to find that this word is actually insulated from her.

The best time for her to learn was in elementary school, but since the third or fourth grade of elementary school, she has never seriously done the homework left by the teacher.

To talk about the reason, it should be that children at that age are generally playful, fishing for shrimps, stealing vegetables and so on, but their childhood life is much more interesting than that of children today, especially in rural areas. After all, it is a real thing that can be practiced by yourself.Then grandpa is an old stingy man, and he stipulated that the monthly electricity bill should not exceed ten yuan.Yes, you heard it right, the monthly electricity bill for two elderly people and two children cannot exceed ten yuan.And in order to accomplish this goal, the dilapidated old house was not allowed to turn on the lights at night. Once Lin Chensan and his friends played late, dinner had to be eaten in a state of darkness.

Of course, it can also be said that this is not a reason for her not to do her homework.The teacher at that time always said that to her.

Except for multiple-choice questions in junior high school homework, almost all the subjective questions are done with the help of classmates.What impressed me the most at that time was that when I arrived at the school on Sunday afternoon, a group of several people gathered at the flower bed in front of the complex building without entering the class, lying on the wall tiles next to the flower bed to give full play to the subjective initiative of the people. , You have to copy the two-day homework assigned by the teachers within one hour.

The reason is also very simple. Lin Chensan, who had just entered junior high school, had good grades. At that time, she still had the self-esteem and sense of superiority of a child in her heart. She thought that her good mind could decide many things, and she could catch up even without doing homework. The progress of the students maintains a not bad ranking in the class.As for why you want to do this, I don’t know if it’s accurate, because I found that I can’t do No.1 after spending a lot of time studying, so if you want to do No.2 as it should be, you must be in other places. Give full play to your advantages, for example: Yes, you are No.1, but I am also No.2 if I haven’t learned much.It's not that I can't be No.1, I just don't want to work as hard as you... At that time, once someone gave me the title of dead book, it was a fatal blow to interpersonal communication.Because no matter how good your grades are, once someone thinks you are studying hard, some people will easily show disdain for it.

If you can't eat grapes, you say grapes are sour...

It's strange, but as a junior high school student, this kind of atmosphere is so normal that no one doubts it.For Lin Chensan himself, with this kind of psychological cognition, he will be able to adjust back to a good state from that inferior negative emotion.At that time, Lin Chensan still had a strong competitive spirit, and she was absolutely unwilling to admit that she was inferior.

It's just that her mind is not that smart, let alone No.2, maintaining a ranking of seven or eight in the class is enough to make her face swollen and fat.

The result of this is obvious. When the high school entrance examination is over, Lin Chensan is ready to go south to work.

However, God may think that she should go to school again, and her high school entrance examination results are not enough for her to go to high school.

The behavior in high school was similar to that in junior high school, no, it should be said to be even worse. Apart from not doing homework, she was also used to sleeping. She often fell asleep after reading in the morning. I can't wake up until the second class in the afternoon is almost finished.Every day is in a state of sluggishness, walking like shaking and falling asleep.It is not unreasonable for people to give him the nickname 'Sleeping God'.

How should I put it, there is no way, the basics in junior high school are in a mess, and Lin Chensan can't understand many of the classes in high school, so it's better to give up the treatment than to embarrass himself.She had developed the habit of escaping everything by sleeping.

If you want to say why the head teacher didn't care about her, it's probably because her appearance at that time was similar to the impression her younger brother gave to the teachers.I'm really afraid that talking a little bit fiercely with such a student will cause trouble, and my life will be lost... So when I ask for leave before the college entrance examination and go back to rest, the head teacher always has a "good, good" expression.

As for the university... After a semester of classes, some textbooks have not been opened except for the name written on them. Passing the exam depends on the teacher's key points and the previous years compiled by the students in other teachers' classes. Model questions, or just count on make-up exams. Speaking of which, Lin Chensan graduated from university with a bachelor's certificate and graduation certificate, and he didn't even pass CET-[-]—I heard that the school only required the minimum score required for CET-[-] , she never took the exam again.

It can be said that it will be mixed up like this, and most of the blame is her own.

Lin Chensan didn't like studying, and never regarded reading as his own business.But it would be an absolute lie to say that she didn't try to save herself from that mess along the way.

Students with good grades have their own aura of being pampered. This statement applies no matter which school in China they are in.

Lin Chensan once had the idea of ​​becoming a down-to-earth kind of good student...

The deep memory came from junior high school at first, and finally gave up the illusion that she was special, knowing that she was not a genius, not that smart, and suddenly, she wanted to study hard.I took out the math exercise book from the table, turned to the page assigned by the teacher, and prepared to use my own strength to do a good job of the problem, but I didn't know that I got stuck on the first problem... Biting the penholder, I was about to Write and draw on draft paper...

"Lin Chensan, are you doing math?" The sharp-eyed deskmate quickly noticed her movements with a very curious expression.

"Yes." Now that he was seen, there was nothing to deny.

"Oh, you are doing this question, it's quite simple, just draw an auxiliary line." When the deskmate saw that Lin Chensan had already written a proof question with the word 'solution', he said very casually , and then covered his mouth with his hands and made a trumpet shape, and the voice could be heard clearly by the whole class, "Come and see, come and see, Lin Chensan did his homework himself, it's really big news."

Yue Mo was really big news. After a while, a group of people who watched the excitement and didn't think they had too much to do gathered around her table.

At this time, the so-called "quite simple" three words at the same table are eating Lin Chensan's heart like ants, and then being watched by a group of people like watching monkeys in a zoo, how can I write again.The hand holding the pen still couldn't let the tip of the pen land on the page. When she lowered her head and raised it again, she was smiling: "Don't listen to her nonsense, just take out the exercise book and have a look. Such a simple question needs to be done by yourself. Do you want to do it?" After a haha, she put the exercise book back on the table.

Then, things didn't come to an end here.

The next class was mathematics class, as if God wanted her to make a fool of herself on purpose, but it happened to be that question, the teacher called her name and asked her to go to the blackboard to do it.The classmate who was familiar with her knew that she was not in the habit of doing homework, and had already handed her her workbook to the blackboard in a dark place where the teacher could not see, but she saw her tablemate holding her chin with her hand and looking at it with a smile on her face. When looking at her, she picked up the last shelf of "learning crisp", rolled up a blank exercise book of her own and put it on the blackboard.

What was she trying to prove then?Prove that you can do it but don't want to do it?Or do you want to make up for the behavior that you just lost without fighting and retreated without writing, and prove that what your deskmate said is simple is simple?

It's hard to tell to this day.

The result is that it can't be done at all.I just know that I need to draw the auxiliary line, but I don’t know where the starting point and the ending point are. It’s ridiculous. Under the watchful eyes of everyone, especially knowing that there is an insider behind you, the embarrassment that you can’t move your hands with chalk is just like Like a clown.

The sense of shame that came out of nowhere has been tormenting her.

Then in high school, Lin Chensan also had the idea of ​​regrouping in a school where he didn't have any acquaintances. Didn't they always say that he would stand up from wherever he fell?It was still mathematics, but that time, the feeling of being humiliated was even more serious.

The math class representative just passed by and took a look at the problem that was worked out after a lot of effort, and said, "It's wrong, the solution of this equation is not a circle, but a hyperbola."

The dying struggle two months before the college entrance examination is still mathematics... After doing a few stacks of papers, the result is a reform of the national one-volume examination. Most of the questions in the mathematics examination are related to the basics of junior high school. It's really a joke.

'Wrong, this equation is not a circle, but a hyperbola. 'This sentence is like the magic spell of Monkey King, and it has been echoing in her mind for the last hour and a half of the math test...

The serious ptsd caused her to worry about being too stupid and being looked down upon by the other party whenever she encountered a problem and needed to ask the same period in her first job.

Enough time has passed, and a lot of truths that were not understood before are now understood.Not understanding is not a shameful thing, stupidity has never been the biggest weakness of human beings, pretending to understand is what is not knowing, arrogance is... I have suffered enough losses in this regard.As far as this moment is concerned, Lin Chensan thinks that he can calm down and study patiently in this unfamiliar field.

Besides, there are no classmates or colleagues here, so there is nothing to be afraid of...

Let Lin Chensan take a good look at it. Lin Jianwu reported her three subjects, management, laws and practice, and the difficulty is from front to back. In order to enhance her self-confidence in learning, she should choose the easiest subject to start with. So learn management first.

The mobile phone can't read the lecture while reading the lecture notes, but when the teacher is talking about the key points, Lin Chensan feels that this subject really lives up to the name of the simplest.

You can understand it, and you can understand the logic.

While this is the beginning, it's a good one.