Difficult to return

The phone was hung up, the house became quiet again, and the incandescent lamp in the living room was coldly lit, leaving Song Shuhua nowhere to hide, and he could not escape this sadness.

Yes, this is normal, as long as he has endured these days, he will be able to let go, and what he has to do now is to be patient.He understood, but he couldn't help himself to pick up the phone, click on the chat box with that person, and read their chat records one by one, until he turned to the original friend request of the other party.

Then, starting from the first one, he looked down one by one, crying and laughing as if losing his mind.

He still can't accept and believe that why a person who cares about him so much suddenly becomes so indifferent, and immediately deletes it when he says to delete it.Is he really the kind of person Xiaofeng said, who just likes to play with other people's feelings, and when someone falls in love with him, he immediately withdraws?

He couldn't figure it out, it just made no sense to think about it again.After repeatedly scrolling through the chat records all night and crying his eyes swollen again, Song Shuhua also became hard on himself and deleted this person.

As Xiaofeng said, only by physically staying away from a person can we slowly get away from him psychologically.

Another sleepless night passed, and Song Shuhua looked at his haggard self in the mirror, knowing that he couldn't go on like this.He took a shower, forced himself to eat breakfast, and went to the dance studio.

After two or three hours of pole dancing, he was exhausted.In the afternoon, he did not go home to rest, but went to the old house.After Xiaofeng left, the old house was restored to its original state.He tried to use the skirt to forcibly separate his thoughts from that man, but he couldn't find the happiness he had when wearing the skirt before.

After night fell, under Xiaofeng's urging, he went to a hot pot restaurant near his home to have a hot pot meal, drank half a dozen beers, and finally returned home with a drunken head.After a day of tossing, he finally exhausted his last bit of energy and fell asleep.

On the third day, Song Shuhua received a call from her husband who had disappeared without a trace for a few days.The husband said that he had a long business trip and hadn't come back so soon. He didn't say when he would come back, nor did he explain why it took so long to call.Song Shuhua didn't ask either.

He didn't feel that his husband's absence at this juncture gave him more room to breathe.It seems that I don't care at all, I don't care what my husband thinks, and I don't care what others think of him.He lost interest in everything and seemed unable to be happy anymore.

Xiaofeng said that this feeling is also normal, but I don't know how long it will last.

He no longer has that kind of enthusiasm for performing in QUEEN, but in order not to let himself fall into this emotion, he went more diligently than ever before, and performed harder than ever.As long as I completely abandon myself and become Tita completely, it seems that I won't be so sad.

The leading queen, Tita, is glamorous and unfeeling, and she will definitely not get depressed because of this kind of thing.

He forcibly pulled himself out of the grief, very roughly and bluntly, so the whole person became a little numb.However, during these numb and boring times, he thought over and over again about his own life, over and over again about his involuntary, cowardly and incompetent first half of his life.

Spring has come, and Song Shuhua will soon celebrate his 33rd birthday.After living for 33 years, the best days of his life are still a little tailed, and half his life has passed like this, but he has never been himself in an open and honest manner, and he has never really walked in the sun.

That idea expanded infinitely in his mind, but this time, he didn't have any helpers, he could only rely on himself, can he do it?

--

There were several knocks on the door.

"Come in."

Tang Chi poked his nose, he was not used to the strong smell of smoke in the office.

"President Lu, this is a document that needs your signature and seal today."

"Put it here." Lu Mingchen casually pointed to the empty seat on the table.

Tang Chi put a stack of contracts in the designated place, but did not leave immediately.

Next to the contract, an earthenware jar delivered by a takeaway was used as a makeshift ashtray. It was filled with cigarette butts, and two packs of cigarettes were placed next to each other.

He did know that Lu Mingchen would smoke, but he used to be very restrained, and never smoked in places like the office.

I don't know what troubles he has encountered recently, not only made the office a mess, but even the whole person looks haggard.The messy hair without styling and the stubble that has grown green stubbles add a bit of decadence to this haggardness.However, those eyes with thick dark circles were still staring at the computer screen, handling the work meticulously.

Tang Chi knew that their boss was a workaholic, but the business has been stable recently and there is no sudden workload.So there must be something abnormal in this continuous state of being more mad than a workaholic.

Ignoring the coldness of early spring, he pushed open the windows of the office, and dumped the cigarette butts on Lu Mingchen's desk into the trash can.He picked up the garbage bag and couldn't help but said before going out: "Mr. Lu, you look very tired, pay more attention to rest."

Lu Mingchen raised his head from the computer screen and glanced at Tang Chi.

Assistant Tang was a little embarrassed: "I'm not very busy recently, so I can do some work, so don't tire yourself out. I just want to say, if you change your state, maybe some troublesome things will turn around."

Lu Mingchen nodded and waved his hands: "I see, you can go out."

He didn't deliberately torment himself, but after encountering such a blow and ruthlessly deleting his husband's account, only work could help him maintain his rationality, otherwise he really didn't know what he would do.

After so many days of adjustments, after repeated thinking and weighing, he was left with the last way to confess to his husband.

He revisited the entire process of how his online personality won the favor and dependence of his husband, and compared everything he did in reality with that of himself on the Internet.

The answer is that no matter how many changes he makes in reality, no matter how much he tries to start with his husband's interests and hobbies and give him real care, consideration and love, it is completely incomparable to understanding and agreeing with him from Song Shuhua's own perspective. .

Maybe he was really lonely for too long.

This also forced Lu Mingchen to reveal the secret that his husband had been carefully hiding all this time. It might be cruel, and it might bring some unexpected consequences, but he had no other choice.He can only tell her husband plainly, I know everything about you on the other side, and I still accept it all.

This is his only turning point.

Lu Mingchen adjusted himself well, confident that he could face everything that came next with a calm state of mind.Only if he is calm enough, the husband who is suddenly discovered the secret will not panic and do some irrational things.

Before returning home, he had his hair cut again, shaved his face, changed into a suit of formal clothes, and bought a bouquet of flowers when he passed by a flower shop.

Tang Chi was right, with a new look, and even a new mentality.Even if the husband doesn't like himself in life, what he likes is his online personality, which is still a part of him. In the final analysis, the husband also loves himself.

Maybe there will be no bad results today, maybe this is a new beginning.The husband is "broken in love" and is still sad, so he just took advantage of it.No matter how much you like someone you haven't even met, it must be just a momentary infatuation, and you will soon forget it.Just do what he did on the Internet again, and the husband will definitely fall in love with himself again.

He quickly made up his mind.

When Lu Mingchen arrived home, Song Shuhua was having dinner.

He was holding the bowl, and was a little surprised when he saw her husband who suddenly appeared with flowers: "Mingchen, you didn't call me when you came back..."

Lu Mingchen put the flowers on the dining table, and saw that there was only a bowl of plain noodles on the empty dining table: "Do you eat some noodles at home?"

"Well... If you cook too much by yourself, you can't eat. Keep it simple." Song Shuhua stood up, "You haven't eaten yet, have you? I'll go and make you something to eat. Is there anything you want to eat?"

Lu Mingchen just stared at Song Shuhua's face, he seemed to be more dull and haggard. In just ten days, his chin became sharper.

It was he who made her husband sad, and he suddenly blamed himself.None of this would be the way it is today if he had stopped contacting him after he was sure he didn't want to be a woman.It's all his fault that he was only immersed in the happiness of knocking on the door of her husband's heart and being trusted and relied on by him, while ignoring this possible huge crisis.

"Give me a bowl of noodles too."

"it is good."

Song Shuhua finished his remaining noodles in a few mouthfuls, and took the bowl to the kitchen together.

Lu Mingchen followed, watching her husband's emaciated figure busy in an orderly manner in front of the cooking counter.He really wanted to hug him in the past, and he wanted to give him a lot of emotions, but he knew he couldn't.

After learning that her husband liked people on the Internet, Lu Mingchen gradually understood her husband's strange behavior recently. Apart from being preoccupied, he always avoided physical contact with him.For people like husbands, the body and mind are always the same, and if they are touched by someone they don't like, they should be disgusted.

Seeing Lu Mingchen following in, Song Shuhua asked, "Are you hungry? The noodles will be ready soon, and I can fry an egg and bacon to eat. Go out and wait."

Lu Mingchen didn't move, just looked at her husband with a strange feeling in his heart.Even if her husband doesn't love him, he still dutifully plays the role of a perfect lover who can ask for anything.When he did these things for a person he didn't love, what was he thinking in his heart?

"Ah Hua, there is something I want to talk to you about."

Song Shuhua turned his head and asked plainly, "What's the matter?"

"Let's talk about it after dinner."

"it is good."

Song Shuhua turned around, dipped the noodles into the prepared soup, and covered them with fried eggs and bacon.

When he handed the noodle bowl to Lu Mingchen, he also said, "Mingchen, I also have something to talk to you about."