Mrs. Qin Xiangguo
Chapter 137 132
132
That night, Lu Mansion.
After Zhao Weizhen returned home, everything seemed to be as usual.
Meal, followed by routine time with the daughters.Deyin and Wenyin will be ten years old soon, they are like two big girls.Lu Buwei was holding a scroll in his hand, pointing Deyin to make a fuss, while Wen Yin lay beside Zhao Weizhen's lap and babbled.
Three years ago, Wen Yin worshiped Meng Tian as his teacher to practice martial arts, after three years, she has practiced well.
Although she is a girl, even a general like Meng Tian has to admit that Wen Yin is very talented in sports.
"Master said, even the young gentlemen of the Meng family are not as fast as I am." Wen Yin said enthusiastically: "They don't know how to use ingenuity. Only stupid strength can beat me. Mom, you Said that if I am good at martial arts, will I be able to go to the battlefield like my master when I grow up...Aunt?"
"Ok?"
Zhao Weizhen came back to her senses suddenly, she was startled, and then nodded: "You want to be the first female general of Qin State."
Wen Yin: "Is it not good?"
Zhao Weizhen slightly raised the corner of his mouth: "It's very good. I just want to be the first female general, maybe it's much more difficult than being the No.1 courtier."
"I'm not afraid!" Wen Yin puffed out her chest confidently: "Master said, to be a human being is to face difficulties."
"Wen Yin."
Lu Buwei on the side interrupted at the right time and asked: "Even if you want to be a general, you have to read military books."
Wen Yin immediately shrank her neck: "Woo..."
Lu Buwei smiled: "I'm not urging you, you've finished your homework, haven't you? Come, I'll take you and Deyin to bed."
"Ok."
"understood."
The twin sisters reluctantly put down their books and toys, obediently got up and followed Lu Buwei out of the main room.
As soon as the daughters left, Zhao Weizhen couldn't help but relax.
Although she enjoys spending time with her children, it is really difficult for her to keep her spirits up when her mind is heavy.
Zhao Weizhen stood up with his sleeves in his hands, and came to the vanity mirror.
The candlelight flickered at night, and the dim light elongated Zhao Weizhen's shadow.In the reflection of the bronze mirror, her facial features were hidden in the shadows, and even though she had no expression, she seemed somewhat dignified and solemn.
Raising his hand to the back of the bun, after so many years, Zhao Weizhen is still not very good at dealing with this bun.She groped for a long time at the back of her head with her bare hands, only to remove the hairpin, but she couldn't find the place to untie the bun.
I was not thinking about it at first, and I couldn't solve it for a long time, and I felt even more irritable.
She sighed and closed her eyes.
Almost the next moment, the man's hands took over her job.
Lu Buwei's familiar aura surrounded him, he didn't speak, but sat silently behind Zhao Weizhen, and easily untied her hair.
The black and blue hairs slanted and fell.
"Is it because of Prince Pill?" Lu Buwei asked.
Zhao Weizhen lowered his eyes.
Of course Lu Buwei could tell that she was not in shape.
It was also because of this that he called De Yin and Wen Yin to go to bed early.
The scene of the daytime restaurant is vivid.
Even though Zhao Weizhen had expected today when Qin Wangzheng invited Crown Prince Dan to Xianyang, but when this kind of thing actually happened, she still felt a little...a pimple in her throat.
Some things, not expected, can be indifferent.
Yan Dan is more or less a student she taught.
Like Ying Zheng, calling her Mrs. Weizhen instead of Xia Yangjun would put her trust and hope in her.When he was in Handan in the past, he even saved his own life, holding the Cuju with messy stitches in his hand, saying that it was the highest gift she gave him.
Such a sincere and innocent child will eventually go further and further away from him.
Not only was she heartbroken by the friendship between Ying Zheng and Yan Dan, but she also felt deeply guilty—after all, it was Zhao Weizhen who gave up on him first.
"He will hate the King of Qin." Zhao Weizhen lowered his eyes, his eyes touched his black hair falling on his shoulders, and said lightly, "One day, when Qin destroys the country of Yan, he will not be willing to be Qin Chen, but will use all means to be a chariot with his arms. If you hurt yourself, you will also hurt the king."
"I……"
Zhao Weizhen said softly: "We must not let him do this."
She may not be able to prevent the two bamboo horses from parting ways after all, but she can at least prevent the assassin from Yandi from entering the palace of Qin State.
"It's easy."
Hearing Zhao Weizhen's murmur, Lu Buwei answered behind her: "Cai Ze is still in Yan Kingdom, there are plenty of ways."
"I know." Zhao Weizhen whispered.
"Weizhen is just sad."
"..."
A hand reached over her shoulder.
In the bronze mirror, those big hands with sharp joints caressed () Zhao Weizhen's cheeks, and the side of her fingers with thick pen calluses brushed the corners of her eyes, and finally the man's fingertips rested on Zhao Weizhen's eyelids.
Lu Buwei gently caressed () Zhao Weizhen's eyes.
"Occasionally Buwei will feel frustrated." Lu Buwei said.
"why?"
"As a husband, you can share your worries with Weizhen, but you can't let Weizhen let go of your heart." Lu Buwei said frankly: "Even if it is only you and me, only this candlelight witnesses."
What he meant was that there was no one else, and it was okay to show sadness when getting along in private.
Zhao Weizhen raised his eyes, and the candlelight in the bronze mirror was flickering like a will-o'-the-wisp.
"It's good for you." Zhao Weizhen teased: "It's not uncommon to 'unload the atrium' under the candlelight."
It's not just about unloading the atrium, in this room, it's not uncommon for him to suddenly go crazy and lose control.
Thinking about it carefully, Zhao Weizhen is the only one who has seen Lu Buwei's appearance, his true desires, his true attitude, and the remaining emotions and thoughts when he was not wearing a human skin and pretending to be a snake.
As for herself...
"Sometimes I also think," Zhao Weizhen stared at Lu Buwei in the bronze mirror, "Maybe I just don't have a heart."
"You have."
Lu Buwei chuckled and said, "But the human heart is the size of a palm, and it is limited. Weizhen has all of his heart on the king, and those who share it with others, and those who don't, naturally have less."
Zhao Weizhen couldn't help but laugh: "Lu Buwei, are you so sour?"
"Buwei is sour."
Lu Buwei responded seriously: "But Buwei also understands... If the former king is alive, so will Buwei."
Zhao Weizhen took a deep breath.
She knew that these words were comforting, but she had to admit that Lu Buwei's words touched Zhao Weizhen's heart.
As Lord Xia Yang, as the teacher of the King of Qin, Zhao Weizhen must be responsible to the King of Qin only.
Back then she chose Yingzheng, so everything came to fruition as early as in Handan.
It's good to be guilty, calm down, Zhao Weizhen even felt a little bit of comfort.Guilt proves that she still has a conscience.
Only then did Zhao Weizhen turn her head slowly, and her gaze shifted from the reflection in the mirror to the man behind her.
Lu Buwei's bright eyes are no longer as bright as daytime in the dark room, the obscure light makes everything unclear, even if they are so close, it seems that the gentleness and intimacy brewing in it are more real than before.
In the past, Zhao Weizhen always felt that slightly drooping and bright eyes like Lu Buwei's were just right.It is more gloomy and less frivolous, but it is this radian and such brightness that can show the innocence just everywhere, and look at a stone as if it is so serious.
Hazy, half-fake, half-real, as if his affectionate and affectionate style at this moment is completely real.
His hand was still on the side of Zhao Weizhen's eyes, and as she turned around, the man's palm slightly moved back, gently brushing away her long hair, and pulling the blue hair behind her ears.
Immediately afterwards, Lu Buwei lowered his hands lightly, and together again, a pair of jade rings appeared in his palm as if by magic.
Zhao Weizhen: "..."
Lu Buwei laughed: "A little trick I learned in Chu State in my early years."
He spread his hands and sent the jade jue to Zhao Weizhen.
The warm and translucent jade ring is as delicate as oil. The jade ring itself has no decoration, but in the center of the jade ring, it is plated with a layer of complicated and luxurious patterns with gold, embellishing the jade that originally belonged to the civilization of the Central Plains with the customs of ethnic minorities.
Gold and gilt jade, he has a great handwriting.
"Try it?"
Lu Buwei raised his hand while speaking.
Zhao Weizhen only felt a slight chill in his earlobes, followed by an almost negligible weight.She turned her head to the side, and saw that golden light refracted in the copper mirror. The gold and jade matched each other, which was extravagant, and under the flickering of the dim yellow candlelight, there was an extra layer of inexplicable and inexplicable warmth () Ambiguous meaning.
It has to be said that Lu Buwei's aesthetics are quite advanced.
Zhao Weizhen felt that this earring would be a big seller in modern times.
Put on the jade ring for her, but the man's hand did not leave.As soon as the calloused fingertips moved up slightly, the temperature of his fingers wrapped around Zhao Weizhen's cool earlobe.
Zhao Weizhen flinched a little.
That small piece of meat is called heat entanglement, and the gold of the jade ring is just touching his nails.
"It's okay." Lu Buwei said hoarsely, "If Weizhen doesn't want to give up, just let me do it."
In this world, I am afraid that only Lu Buwei can express some comfort into Zhao Weizhen's heart.
but……
Zhao Weizhen looked down and looked at the small shadow of Yujue on her shoulder.
"That's the only pair of earrings you have?" She said suddenly.
Lu Buwei didn't speak.
Zhao Weizhen understood: "What about the others?"
Lu Buwei glanced at the other side of the vanity mirror.
If it wasn't for the signal from his eyes, Zhao Weizhen would not have noticed that there was a small wooden box in the corner of the long case.She was also polite and opened the wooden box directly.
What came into view was a box full of jewellery, all inlaid with gold and jade, dazzling.
Zhao Weizhen curled his lips.
She slowly took out a pair of jade bracelets inlaid with gold from the box, flicked up her cuffs, and put them on her bright wrists.The warm jade wrapped in luxurious gold slipped down on her white and slender skin, and then got stuck on her forearm.
Being so close, Zhao Weizhen could almost feel the change of Lu Buwei's breathing stagnation.
His eyes sank inch by inch, and he grabbed her wrist like a falcon staring at its prey.
But Zhao Weizhen still didn't stop.She took out an armband from the box very elegantly, the armband is more gold, and the hollowed out gold ornaments are shaped like totems and patterns, and a few beautiful pieces are firmly stuck in the middle of the opening. Agate and jade.
Considering the productivity and craftsmanship of the pre-Qin period, Zhao Weizhen knew that Lu Buwei paid a sky-high price without thinking about it.
Zhao Weizhen slightly raised his eyes and looked at Lu Buwei: "You wear it."
Lu Buwei froze.
Before he could react, Zhao Weizhen took his hand and pushed the armband over the man's palm.
The extravagant and gorgeous armband lifted up his wide sleeves, but the armband tailored for Zhao Weizhen was a little thinner after all, and it couldn't go up just because it was stuck on Lu Buwei's forearm.
Under the touch of gold, the man's distinct vein lines and muscle direction are clearly visible.The jade bracelet on Zhao Weizhen's wrist collided with the armband, making a crisp sound.
"Performing well."
Zhao Weizhen drew closer, grabbed the skin around his armband and rubbed () repeatedly: "It is worthy of praise."
As she spoke, she exerted a little force with her other hand, and gently pressed the man to the ground.The actions of the two caused storms, and the flickering candle beside the vanity mirror "popped", and the room was completely dark.
…………
……
The next morning.
It was rare for Zhao Weizhen to take a vacation for himself, sleeping until the sun was high before lazily getting up.
I have to say that Guizi is still working hard.
And Zhao Weizhen also felt Lu Buwei's happiness to some extent - it turned out that it was not unreasonable for him to prefer those jewelry.
Later, she also went to make a set and put it on for Lu Buwei.Reciprocity, you're welcome.
"lady."
When the maid was helping her tidy her hair, Wei Xing hurried in: "The envoy Yan has sent Prince Dan out of the city."
Zhao Weizhen's eyes paused.
This is gone?Not surprisingly.
I'm afraid I don't want to stay for a long time, and I don't want to see any of them again.
That's fine too.
Zhao Weizhen nodded: "What else?"
"Li Qing is here to visit." Wei Xing forwarded, a little embarrassed: "He said...he wanted to persuade the king to attack Wei first, so as to pave the way for attacking Chu, but, but..."
"Your Majesty insists on attacking Yan, right?" Zhao Weizhen calmly answered.
Sending away Prince Dan on the front foot, and sending troops to attack the country of Yan on the back foot.This is what Ying Zheng said yesterday, "Let me recite the emotional self-blame."
He wanted to force Yan Dan to death.
That night, Lu Mansion.
After Zhao Weizhen returned home, everything seemed to be as usual.
Meal, followed by routine time with the daughters.Deyin and Wenyin will be ten years old soon, they are like two big girls.Lu Buwei was holding a scroll in his hand, pointing Deyin to make a fuss, while Wen Yin lay beside Zhao Weizhen's lap and babbled.
Three years ago, Wen Yin worshiped Meng Tian as his teacher to practice martial arts, after three years, she has practiced well.
Although she is a girl, even a general like Meng Tian has to admit that Wen Yin is very talented in sports.
"Master said, even the young gentlemen of the Meng family are not as fast as I am." Wen Yin said enthusiastically: "They don't know how to use ingenuity. Only stupid strength can beat me. Mom, you Said that if I am good at martial arts, will I be able to go to the battlefield like my master when I grow up...Aunt?"
"Ok?"
Zhao Weizhen came back to her senses suddenly, she was startled, and then nodded: "You want to be the first female general of Qin State."
Wen Yin: "Is it not good?"
Zhao Weizhen slightly raised the corner of his mouth: "It's very good. I just want to be the first female general, maybe it's much more difficult than being the No.1 courtier."
"I'm not afraid!" Wen Yin puffed out her chest confidently: "Master said, to be a human being is to face difficulties."
"Wen Yin."
Lu Buwei on the side interrupted at the right time and asked: "Even if you want to be a general, you have to read military books."
Wen Yin immediately shrank her neck: "Woo..."
Lu Buwei smiled: "I'm not urging you, you've finished your homework, haven't you? Come, I'll take you and Deyin to bed."
"Ok."
"understood."
The twin sisters reluctantly put down their books and toys, obediently got up and followed Lu Buwei out of the main room.
As soon as the daughters left, Zhao Weizhen couldn't help but relax.
Although she enjoys spending time with her children, it is really difficult for her to keep her spirits up when her mind is heavy.
Zhao Weizhen stood up with his sleeves in his hands, and came to the vanity mirror.
The candlelight flickered at night, and the dim light elongated Zhao Weizhen's shadow.In the reflection of the bronze mirror, her facial features were hidden in the shadows, and even though she had no expression, she seemed somewhat dignified and solemn.
Raising his hand to the back of the bun, after so many years, Zhao Weizhen is still not very good at dealing with this bun.She groped for a long time at the back of her head with her bare hands, only to remove the hairpin, but she couldn't find the place to untie the bun.
I was not thinking about it at first, and I couldn't solve it for a long time, and I felt even more irritable.
She sighed and closed her eyes.
Almost the next moment, the man's hands took over her job.
Lu Buwei's familiar aura surrounded him, he didn't speak, but sat silently behind Zhao Weizhen, and easily untied her hair.
The black and blue hairs slanted and fell.
"Is it because of Prince Pill?" Lu Buwei asked.
Zhao Weizhen lowered his eyes.
Of course Lu Buwei could tell that she was not in shape.
It was also because of this that he called De Yin and Wen Yin to go to bed early.
The scene of the daytime restaurant is vivid.
Even though Zhao Weizhen had expected today when Qin Wangzheng invited Crown Prince Dan to Xianyang, but when this kind of thing actually happened, she still felt a little...a pimple in her throat.
Some things, not expected, can be indifferent.
Yan Dan is more or less a student she taught.
Like Ying Zheng, calling her Mrs. Weizhen instead of Xia Yangjun would put her trust and hope in her.When he was in Handan in the past, he even saved his own life, holding the Cuju with messy stitches in his hand, saying that it was the highest gift she gave him.
Such a sincere and innocent child will eventually go further and further away from him.
Not only was she heartbroken by the friendship between Ying Zheng and Yan Dan, but she also felt deeply guilty—after all, it was Zhao Weizhen who gave up on him first.
"He will hate the King of Qin." Zhao Weizhen lowered his eyes, his eyes touched his black hair falling on his shoulders, and said lightly, "One day, when Qin destroys the country of Yan, he will not be willing to be Qin Chen, but will use all means to be a chariot with his arms. If you hurt yourself, you will also hurt the king."
"I……"
Zhao Weizhen said softly: "We must not let him do this."
She may not be able to prevent the two bamboo horses from parting ways after all, but she can at least prevent the assassin from Yandi from entering the palace of Qin State.
"It's easy."
Hearing Zhao Weizhen's murmur, Lu Buwei answered behind her: "Cai Ze is still in Yan Kingdom, there are plenty of ways."
"I know." Zhao Weizhen whispered.
"Weizhen is just sad."
"..."
A hand reached over her shoulder.
In the bronze mirror, those big hands with sharp joints caressed () Zhao Weizhen's cheeks, and the side of her fingers with thick pen calluses brushed the corners of her eyes, and finally the man's fingertips rested on Zhao Weizhen's eyelids.
Lu Buwei gently caressed () Zhao Weizhen's eyes.
"Occasionally Buwei will feel frustrated." Lu Buwei said.
"why?"
"As a husband, you can share your worries with Weizhen, but you can't let Weizhen let go of your heart." Lu Buwei said frankly: "Even if it is only you and me, only this candlelight witnesses."
What he meant was that there was no one else, and it was okay to show sadness when getting along in private.
Zhao Weizhen raised his eyes, and the candlelight in the bronze mirror was flickering like a will-o'-the-wisp.
"It's good for you." Zhao Weizhen teased: "It's not uncommon to 'unload the atrium' under the candlelight."
It's not just about unloading the atrium, in this room, it's not uncommon for him to suddenly go crazy and lose control.
Thinking about it carefully, Zhao Weizhen is the only one who has seen Lu Buwei's appearance, his true desires, his true attitude, and the remaining emotions and thoughts when he was not wearing a human skin and pretending to be a snake.
As for herself...
"Sometimes I also think," Zhao Weizhen stared at Lu Buwei in the bronze mirror, "Maybe I just don't have a heart."
"You have."
Lu Buwei chuckled and said, "But the human heart is the size of a palm, and it is limited. Weizhen has all of his heart on the king, and those who share it with others, and those who don't, naturally have less."
Zhao Weizhen couldn't help but laugh: "Lu Buwei, are you so sour?"
"Buwei is sour."
Lu Buwei responded seriously: "But Buwei also understands... If the former king is alive, so will Buwei."
Zhao Weizhen took a deep breath.
She knew that these words were comforting, but she had to admit that Lu Buwei's words touched Zhao Weizhen's heart.
As Lord Xia Yang, as the teacher of the King of Qin, Zhao Weizhen must be responsible to the King of Qin only.
Back then she chose Yingzheng, so everything came to fruition as early as in Handan.
It's good to be guilty, calm down, Zhao Weizhen even felt a little bit of comfort.Guilt proves that she still has a conscience.
Only then did Zhao Weizhen turn her head slowly, and her gaze shifted from the reflection in the mirror to the man behind her.
Lu Buwei's bright eyes are no longer as bright as daytime in the dark room, the obscure light makes everything unclear, even if they are so close, it seems that the gentleness and intimacy brewing in it are more real than before.
In the past, Zhao Weizhen always felt that slightly drooping and bright eyes like Lu Buwei's were just right.It is more gloomy and less frivolous, but it is this radian and such brightness that can show the innocence just everywhere, and look at a stone as if it is so serious.
Hazy, half-fake, half-real, as if his affectionate and affectionate style at this moment is completely real.
His hand was still on the side of Zhao Weizhen's eyes, and as she turned around, the man's palm slightly moved back, gently brushing away her long hair, and pulling the blue hair behind her ears.
Immediately afterwards, Lu Buwei lowered his hands lightly, and together again, a pair of jade rings appeared in his palm as if by magic.
Zhao Weizhen: "..."
Lu Buwei laughed: "A little trick I learned in Chu State in my early years."
He spread his hands and sent the jade jue to Zhao Weizhen.
The warm and translucent jade ring is as delicate as oil. The jade ring itself has no decoration, but in the center of the jade ring, it is plated with a layer of complicated and luxurious patterns with gold, embellishing the jade that originally belonged to the civilization of the Central Plains with the customs of ethnic minorities.
Gold and gilt jade, he has a great handwriting.
"Try it?"
Lu Buwei raised his hand while speaking.
Zhao Weizhen only felt a slight chill in his earlobes, followed by an almost negligible weight.She turned her head to the side, and saw that golden light refracted in the copper mirror. The gold and jade matched each other, which was extravagant, and under the flickering of the dim yellow candlelight, there was an extra layer of inexplicable and inexplicable warmth () Ambiguous meaning.
It has to be said that Lu Buwei's aesthetics are quite advanced.
Zhao Weizhen felt that this earring would be a big seller in modern times.
Put on the jade ring for her, but the man's hand did not leave.As soon as the calloused fingertips moved up slightly, the temperature of his fingers wrapped around Zhao Weizhen's cool earlobe.
Zhao Weizhen flinched a little.
That small piece of meat is called heat entanglement, and the gold of the jade ring is just touching his nails.
"It's okay." Lu Buwei said hoarsely, "If Weizhen doesn't want to give up, just let me do it."
In this world, I am afraid that only Lu Buwei can express some comfort into Zhao Weizhen's heart.
but……
Zhao Weizhen looked down and looked at the small shadow of Yujue on her shoulder.
"That's the only pair of earrings you have?" She said suddenly.
Lu Buwei didn't speak.
Zhao Weizhen understood: "What about the others?"
Lu Buwei glanced at the other side of the vanity mirror.
If it wasn't for the signal from his eyes, Zhao Weizhen would not have noticed that there was a small wooden box in the corner of the long case.She was also polite and opened the wooden box directly.
What came into view was a box full of jewellery, all inlaid with gold and jade, dazzling.
Zhao Weizhen curled his lips.
She slowly took out a pair of jade bracelets inlaid with gold from the box, flicked up her cuffs, and put them on her bright wrists.The warm jade wrapped in luxurious gold slipped down on her white and slender skin, and then got stuck on her forearm.
Being so close, Zhao Weizhen could almost feel the change of Lu Buwei's breathing stagnation.
His eyes sank inch by inch, and he grabbed her wrist like a falcon staring at its prey.
But Zhao Weizhen still didn't stop.She took out an armband from the box very elegantly, the armband is more gold, and the hollowed out gold ornaments are shaped like totems and patterns, and a few beautiful pieces are firmly stuck in the middle of the opening. Agate and jade.
Considering the productivity and craftsmanship of the pre-Qin period, Zhao Weizhen knew that Lu Buwei paid a sky-high price without thinking about it.
Zhao Weizhen slightly raised his eyes and looked at Lu Buwei: "You wear it."
Lu Buwei froze.
Before he could react, Zhao Weizhen took his hand and pushed the armband over the man's palm.
The extravagant and gorgeous armband lifted up his wide sleeves, but the armband tailored for Zhao Weizhen was a little thinner after all, and it couldn't go up just because it was stuck on Lu Buwei's forearm.
Under the touch of gold, the man's distinct vein lines and muscle direction are clearly visible.The jade bracelet on Zhao Weizhen's wrist collided with the armband, making a crisp sound.
"Performing well."
Zhao Weizhen drew closer, grabbed the skin around his armband and rubbed () repeatedly: "It is worthy of praise."
As she spoke, she exerted a little force with her other hand, and gently pressed the man to the ground.The actions of the two caused storms, and the flickering candle beside the vanity mirror "popped", and the room was completely dark.
…………
……
The next morning.
It was rare for Zhao Weizhen to take a vacation for himself, sleeping until the sun was high before lazily getting up.
I have to say that Guizi is still working hard.
And Zhao Weizhen also felt Lu Buwei's happiness to some extent - it turned out that it was not unreasonable for him to prefer those jewelry.
Later, she also went to make a set and put it on for Lu Buwei.Reciprocity, you're welcome.
"lady."
When the maid was helping her tidy her hair, Wei Xing hurried in: "The envoy Yan has sent Prince Dan out of the city."
Zhao Weizhen's eyes paused.
This is gone?Not surprisingly.
I'm afraid I don't want to stay for a long time, and I don't want to see any of them again.
That's fine too.
Zhao Weizhen nodded: "What else?"
"Li Qing is here to visit." Wei Xing forwarded, a little embarrassed: "He said...he wanted to persuade the king to attack Wei first, so as to pave the way for attacking Chu, but, but..."
"Your Majesty insists on attacking Yan, right?" Zhao Weizhen calmly answered.
Sending away Prince Dan on the front foot, and sending troops to attack the country of Yan on the back foot.This is what Ying Zheng said yesterday, "Let me recite the emotional self-blame."
He wanted to force Yan Dan to death.
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