i still love you so much

After Ke Luo finished speaking, I remained silent except for silence.

He hugged me tightly with strangling strength, then got up and left, thanking the confession.

It wasn't until the security guard on a routine patrol asked me if I needed help that I suddenly realized that I had been sitting there for a long time.All the temperature on my body has been taken away by the night wind. I declined Mr. Security's help, moved my stiff hands and feet, stood up slowly, picked up the scarf and the cardboard box that Ke Luo took me to sit down on, and entered out of the house.

It would be a lie to say that I was not touched by Ke Luo's words. Emotions are not light switches. When you say on, you will be on, and if you say off, you will be off. The explanation he gave me is better than the worst I imagined, and better than the best. To be bad.He finally understood why I left, although it was too late, I was still relieved.But, that's all, even if he finds out the crux, he can't cure my heart disease, let alone shake my decision to let go.

He never leaves Shu Nian in every word, this person occupies too much in his life, maybe because he has too little experience, maybe because his first love is unforgettable, so I asked for a decent departure, but he couldn't let go, however, Now that I am no longer willing to be that whetstone, I will grind away the past bit by bit.I have longed for Ke Luo for too long, exhausted all my energy, and have no confidence to look forward to his "love you well", and I dare not dream of the position of "only love". Even if he made such a firm vow, I still don't want to Dare to get involved.

What's more, after losing regrets, who can know whether there is a psychology of guilt and compensation in it? The piles and piles that happened in China are enough to teach me to "accept fate" and let me clearly understand what it means to be powerless.

After thinking and thinking, tossing and turning, I don't know if I am firm, or I am constantly convincing myself.

Toss the scarf in the washing machine first, untie the ribbon from the gift box, and inside is... a photo album.Looking through slowly, most of them are candid photos. The first two pages are photos from LA, my back at the bookstore and the basketball court, and the Polaroid when I fell asleep. The sneak shot of taking an afternoon nap by the bay window, Ke Luo making a fuss about the photo I took on the bed... Finally, there is a clipping of the campaign news. If you look carefully, I am in the corner of the picture.

I put away the photo album and put it back in the gift box, along with the washed and dried scarves, in the bottom drawer of the wardrobe.

Don't be shaken, I told myself, everyone said that forty is not confused, people in their 40s, should they still jump into the same pit and never die?Being so concerned about gains and losses, I can't manage a relationship well. I think, I probably won't have a better lover than Ke Luo, and Ke Luo will never have a worse lover than me.Why should I drag him down.

The consequence of blowing the cold wind in the middle of the night at a young age is a massive invasion of cold viruses. I desperately called the assistant lady and asked her to take two days off for me. I struggled to get out of bed, found cold medicine and granules in the home medicine box, and took them together. In my heart, I secretly praised Shu Nian for calling me to remind me to buy regular medicine, otherwise I would have to go out in a windy day, and maybe I would faint on the road.Then I climbed back to bed and covered it tightly with the quilt, hoping to recover after sleeping.

After sleeping until the afternoon, although he didn't recover, he was mostly healed. Apart from the nasal sound in his speech and a little soreness in his body, there were no major problems.

I made myself a few sandwiches, squeezed a glass of juice, and sat on the sofa under a blanket to watch a reality show. The host introduced a few judges with a British accent, and the competition rules of the show. I couldn’t understand those at all. Inexplicable rules, but this does not prevent me from admiring the intrigue of all kinds of strange people. Human nature is always the most intriguing thing.

I recovered from the cold the next day, and I took two days off anyway. I was lazy and continued to recuperate at home. The doorbell kept ringing. I moved quickly to open the door, but was thrown to the ground by an unknown object. Go straight to Jesus.

"LEE, LEE, I'm here, is there any special surprise, very touching!" Lin Jing yelled loudly while rubbing his furry head against my neck.

"Cough... get up quickly, I'm going to be crushed to death by you!"

Lin Jing sat on my waist and pulled me up, "LEE, are you feeling unwell? Ahaha, does our current posture look like a navel orange? It turns out that we often use this posture. How about it? Do you want to come here?" hair?"

I silently pushed him aside, got up silently, closed the door silently, and then gave him a chestnut with lightning speed, "Be normal! So hungry and thirsty, lost love?"

Lin Jing covered his head and nodded pitifully. I was surprised, "Who is so short-sighted and dares to dump our little Jing?"

Lin Jing acted shyly, "Oh, it's him, didn't I tell you, Uncle Chen~"

I turned his head and looked left and right, "The aftermath of the car accident is so serious? What's wrong with you, you really went to snatch someone from Lufeng? Did you get beaten up? Or... you're actually dead? Wrathful souls demanding debts? Xiao Jing Ah, Uncle LEE, I have always treated you well, if you are wronged, you have debts, so don’t find the wrong person~"

Lin Jing rolled his eyes straight, "Okay, don't act, it's fine if you don't comfort me, but you still mock me, it's really inhuman."

I rolled my eyes back, "You don't call it broken love, it's called abnormality, the sea of ​​suffering is boundless, and turning back is the shore, baby."

Lin Jing dragged his small suitcase and walked in, leaving two black marks on my floor where he passed, "Let's not talk about this, LEE, you are really developed, the rent here is very high." It’s expensive, it’s much better than your original house, is there any interesting club next to it, we won’t get drunk tonight, let’s find a few hotboys to comfort the lovelorn me.”

I took his suitcase and took him to the guest room, "I still have a cold, I have to go to work tomorrow, you have to go out tonight happy and go by yourself, pay attention to safety, remember to bring/sets."

Lin Jing jumped onto the bed, laying down like a grandpa, watching me pack up his things, "Oh, sure enough, people will die when they get old, so you seldom get sick."

With a dark face, I sorted out his clothes that were piled up in the suitcase, and agreed casually, "You know it's the original, yes, yes, I'm getting old."

Lin Jing threw me on the bed, "Say! What did you do to LEE! The original LEE would curse at people when he heard people say he was old."

I frantically flicked his messy hair, "Little brat, I'm already 41, can't I still be old?"

Lin Jing put a pillow in front of his head, "Okay, I admit defeat~ The old man should rest at home, and I can go alone? Look, since you let me go alone, then..." Saying and doing I understood the gesture of counting money in seconds, "Master Lin Jing, just take my card."

"Also, hurry up and recommend some interesting shops."

I got stuck for a while and couldn't answer for a long time.

Lin Jing was surprised, "Haven't you been there?" Then he emphasized it again, "Haven't you been there?"

I surrendered with both hands, "I'm old, and I'll just sit on the bench when I go. Now it's your young people's world."

Lin Jing looked unhappy, "He gave you some kind of ecstasy, you didn't even go to the bar. Partial, why didn't you like me so much at that time?"

I patted his head, "Fool, it's different."

Lin Jing pursed his lips, probably feeling that he was just as extravagant as I was, and had nothing to criticize, so he unhappily ordered me to order takeaways for him, and I followed them one by one, and the little guy became happy again.

I haven't seen him for two years, but Lin Jing looks better. Maybe it's a bit too cheeky to say it. Now I look at him like I look at my son.Lin Jing rummaged through my closet, found a vest to wear over short sleeves, and was about to go out, I hurriedly pulled it back for him, the weather in LA is cold now, why is this kid still so miserable when he puts on clothes? s face.

He picked out a short black wool coat from his clothes pile, and took off a decorative scarf that he hadn't used yet, "Okay, let's go handsome."

Lin Jing skillfully dug out the bank card in my wallet, blew a kiss, and went to the nightclub to harm the world.

Lin Jing didn't come back until one or two o'clock in the morning, reeking of alcohol, moving vigorously, shaking clothes and kicking pants, crawling into my bed with cold air.

"Lin Jing?"

I waited a long time for an answer, a small voice, "LEE," he squeezed himself into my arms, "why doesn't anyone love me?"

"Yes." I adjusted my position so that he could sleep more comfortably.

"Obviously not." It sounded aggrieved, but Lin Jing rarely drank when he was vulnerable in front of others.

"Yes, it's just that I haven't encountered it yet, or...you forgot it for the time being."

"Really?"

"Really... Shhh, go to sleep."

It was only when I returned to the United States that I remembered that Zhuo Wenyang was that boy back then. I don’t know if Lin Jing will remember it again.For people like us, the odds of finding a partner who will accompany us until we die are really too low. I hope Lin Jing is luckier than me.

We were lying on the same bed, embracing naturally, but each was more lonely than the other.

=================================================================== ==========================

I live a busy life with work, [-] to [-], and often work overtime. Mo Yan has never replied to my text messages.Although I had expected it, I was still a little sad.

A month ago, Uncle Lu said that I was able to be alone. At this time, it has been more than a year since Mo Yan left.The office is still the same as that time, but the person who secretly took pictures of me at that time is no longer there.In fact, I secretly took a lot of photos of Mo Yan later, but he didn't even know about it.I keep Mo Yan's photos and news together, and I also print out a copy to make a photo album, and I look at it from time to time.

I also found out the photos that Mo Yan secretly took of me, and combined these photos that I confiscated at the time with the photos of Mo Yan that I secretly took, using software.Mo Yan secretly photographed for fear of being discovered by me, and I secretly photographed Mo Yan not wanting to be discovered by him, so most of them were from the side and the back.I can't even get the photos together, and I feel terrible.

Jiang Ning came to me, and he said, "Since he left, it means that he doesn't trust you and doesn't love you enough. In this day and age, who else is waiting for whom? Why can't you try to be with me? At least, I am more than He's young."

I just told him, "You don't need to talk about the matter between me and him. You don't need to compare with him. He is my lover, and you are just an employee hired because of my wrong decision." Then I informed the assistant to invite him leave.

I prepared a gift for Mo Yan, and finally made up my mind to meet Mo Yan.The plane tickets on the table made me a little nervous, and I was secretly looking forward to the moment when I saw Mo Yan again.I am determined to tell him everything, since the communication is insufficient, let me explain it once, don't hide anything, and then I will slowly chase him back and never let him leave.

The author has something to say: I am a sinner (kneeling)

It’s really too busy lately + chasing after the white lotus to make waves in the article, it’s really pissed off, so yesterday the white lotus finally died, so I came to update (finger)

In order not to write Uncle LEE as a resentful husband, I also worked very hard! (circle)

Go down now and continue coding (small steps and running)

☆, Pick up the discarded settings of the original work and send them out

The author has something to say: I’m really sorry for not updating for so many days_(:з」∠)_The three-dimensional element is too busy 嘤嘤_(:з」∠)_What’s in it, I won’t cheat

Every article must be a plug-in for Uncle Lee, and this article will give Uncle Lee a cute bun ╮(╯▽╰)╭