i still love you so much

Ke Luo returned to China for a meeting, and Andy asked for leave to see his girlfriend, so Victor and I had a "two-person world".

Sitting on the sofa and sharing a takeaway pizza with Victor, a super-sized milkshake for each person, and an unhealthy but relaxed and happy lunch.

That's when I remembered that I completely forgot to ask Victor's opinion about returning home!What a careless parent I am.

"er, Victor?"

"yes, daddy?"

"What do you think about moving to China?"

"...Not bad, I guess."

"Guess? No, you can tell daddy if you have any opinion."

"I don't know, I think I will miss brother Andy, and Eric, Fred and George, Chinese is also a bit difficult, but Uncle Shu Nian and Xie Yan are very good, and it's daddy's hometown, isn't it? I guess I Would love it there, haven't had a bad holiday before."

Really sensible kid.

But I can't be so selfish.

I can't help but think of when I came to the United States alone, full of longing and fear. I worked so hard to integrate into this country, lost my accent little by little, became familiar with the way of life little by little, and endured much discrimination and white eyes. Back, after I finally had a place and a network of my own, I wanted to leave.And I know how forgetful this city is, and this country has a high threshold.

It is true that my only relative is still in China, but that is my homeland after all, not Victor's.In all conscience, the years I spent in the United States were far longer than the time I stayed in China.

I made the final decision.

I sorted out the sentences and explained everything to Ke Luo.

"... That's all. I don't want to make this decision for Victor. If he grows up and wants to return to China, then I can go back without any burden. But when everything is still unclear, I want Victor It's best to grow up in a familiar environment. I know I'm back and forth on this, and it's really inconvenient for you to fly around, but I think it's my final decision. I'm sorry. If, if you Don't think that's okay, we can try a long-distance relationship first, or you can't accept it, I mean if you want to end this, I can completely understand..."

Ke Luo looked at me without saying a word. I felt my heart beating so fast as if I was sitting on a jumping machine that would come down at any moment, waiting anxiously.

Maybe it's not a good time, we're sitting on the bedroom rug, drinking wine, it's going to be a nice atmosphere, I screwed everything up.

"Of course I have no objection, you don't need to apologize for this matter." He took the ashtray from the bedside table, came back and sat down, took out a cigarette, lit it, took a few big puffs, and then extinguished it, before continuing, "Just, what do you mean by 'end this'? You think I'm going to break up with you for this? And you think it's 'totally understandable'?"

"I just……"

Ke Luo pushed me to the side of the bed, "Just what? Li Moyan, LEE! Can you stop torturing me like this? You promised me to start from scratch with me! Yes, I did something wrong, I know I'm wrong! Don't act like this, as if you can leave at any time, I'm tired of supporting myself!"

torture?How could I torture Ke Luo.

"I do not have!"

"You obviously have it! You still hate me! You are punishing me!"

I knew God wouldn't make it easy for me.These days seem to have been stolen from somewhere, and I will have to pay the price.

"I didn't! I just don't think I'm good enough for you! I'm old Ke Luo! So you think I'm torturing you, you're so tired, maybe this is the time we broke up."

Dejected.

How many times do I have to experience this word?

I can even feel my blood pressure go up.

I am really old.I looked at Ke Luo, why does this person always make me feel embarrassed and ashamed, I am powerless to defend myself, and I don’t know what to say, it’s like my nightmare is finally playing out in reality, besides sadness, there is still a trace of The fatalistic feeling of hearing the other boot drop.

But there is still a part of me that yells crazily in my heart, no, I don't think so, I can apologize, I can take back my words, I can't break up with you.

Thankfully my ego is still working.

So I couldn't speak, my ears didn't dare to listen, and my heart was palpitating like thunder.

"You finally said it."

I leaned feebly against the side of the bed, waiting for my final sentence.

But the plot didn't develop as I expected.

Ke Luo knelt in front of me on one knee.

"I just said those words just to set you off. Those words are too much, but Mo Yan, I will not apologize for those words. Because what you did is also too much."

I was confused.

Shouldn't he want to break up with me?

"Mo Yan, no matter how many times I say I love you, you won't listen, because I can't give you a sense of security, because you dare not trust me."

"I love you. I didn't do it right before, but now I love you unreservedly and wholeheartedly. I don't want to say these empty vows. I have been working hard to put them into action, but you still can't feel at ease. I know, this is my injury to you before, I have suffered the consequences, and I have no complaints."

"However, this is also very cruel to me. You know Mo Yan, I know you still have nightmares from time to time, because I can feel you trembling in the middle of the night, once you could sleep peacefully in my arms, now how can I Holding you tight won't do anything to drive the nightmare out of your head."

"I feel powerless, Mo Yan. Your uncertainty about me is tormenting me. I love you, what are you afraid of? I am here, for you."

"I wish you could trust me a little more."

"Because I'm also afraid of losing you. I'm not afraid of distance, and I don't think it will be a trapeze, but you can't give up on me so easily, you can't let me go."

Ke Luo held my heart and looked straight into my eyes, "Did you hear me? Mo Yan?"

I heard it.

I couldn't hear better.

I was even a little apprehensive, like an actor who has been playing tricks for many years, not only was chosen to be the leading role, but also won a gold medal in one fell swoop.

Corot was right.

I shouldn't have treated him like this.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him to my eyes, "I was wrong, you forgive me, huh?" Recalling Ke Luo's eyes that made me helpless every time, I tried to look at him from the bottom up, with a few Divide the eyes that are commonly used when hooking up with each other before, and then increase the weight with a depressive and unstable breath.

Young people are always easy to provoke.

Guess who's got a new trick to answer Ke Luo's doggy eyes.

Victor was happy with the decision, of course, after I reassured him that I hadn't wronged myself for it.My son is well-behaved, smart, and cute. I can't stop being disgusted with his son's behavior. The photos stored in the cloud are gradually increasing. Thanks to the hardworking photographer Mr. Ke Luo.

Shu Nian was the unhappy one, and he didn't want to embarrass me, his wrinkled face was cute, Xie Yan glared at me because I made his wife unhappy.I promised again and again that I would try my best to go back to China every season, so that Shu Nian could be happy.Victor held the iPad and communicated with Shuga, half in English, and the other half in Chinese and hand gestures, and the chat went smoothly.

Samantha welcomes my choice very much. What she doesn't welcome is the selection of the remaining mainland executives. I volunteered to be an assistant with a good eye, and successfully signed a large cooperation company, so that the Queen satisfy.

"Mr. Lee, you have completed all your to-do items for today. Since today is your little boyfriend's birthday, you can leave work early." The assistant lady notified me with a strange enthusiasm.

I closed the notebook and said to the assistant lady very seriously, "First of all, thank you for your concern, I do plan to leave work early; secondly, my boyfriend and the couple next door, look at the bad influence you have brought, I Is it about Harvey and Mike's relationship, your attention is very abnormal you know? Finally, you really need a date."

The assistant made a thank you gesture, "First of all, don't thank me so much; secondly, I just care about everyone around me, don't be so flattered; lastly, update your information base, or use facebook or twitter, old man , me and tom are like glue, okay?"

I rolled my eyes, "I believe you and your tom are inseparable, after all, you have done five games of Thor, yes, update your information base, old man, I don't need social media to know this, because I have a good pair of observation eyes, and you posted the movie ticket stub and tom’s photo on my schedule next week, so I believe you need to save an extra hour to make a new one.” When I passed by the assistant, I encouraged me to take a photo Pat her on the shoulder, "Seriously, you need a real date darling."

Leaving behind the frantic assistant, I briskly walked towards the parking lot.

I have to pick up the mousse cake made to order, which both Keluo and Victor love.

It's hard to believe that Keluo was born in the fall, he was more like a spring or summer born, I guess I just didn't discover the fall side of him.

We don’t plan to have a party. Ke Luo was on a business trip in Europe for his birthday last year. This is our first birthday since we got back together. It’s just me, Ke Luo and Victor, and the chef came to cook a sumptuous dinner. It's a relaxing and cozy birthday.And everything went exactly as planned, the dinner was delicious, the cake was pretty much wiped out, and everyone was happy.

Leave the cleaning task to Andy who has already accepted the reward tomorrow, now is the time to unwrap the gift.

Victor gave Ke Luo a box of handmade biscuits, which were obviously completed under Andy's guidance. According to my experience of tasting it many times, the taste is guaranteed.

Ke Luo kissed Victor hard, and lifted him around the living room several times. The two laughed and shouted, and there was a lively scene.When they fell down on the sofa, Ke Luo looked at me expectantly.

"Victor, it's time to rest my dear, remember to brush your teeth for a while." Victor nodded, said good night, wished Ke Luo a happy birthday again, and stepped into the room by himself.

I turned to Ke Luo and invited him with one hand, "And you, Darling, would you mind going out for a drive with me?"

The author has something to say: _(:з」∠)_The fate of climbing the European and American circles is that every time I write, I have to read the previous article again. There are too many pitfalls in my mind that I want to dig

☆, birthday