Love you as life

Who lives so intimately in my heart...

I started to sweat, and then my hands and feet became cold, and my whole body was shaking.I leaned on the railing by the river and sat down, feeling dizzy and confused.

who is she?who is she?who is she?

"Hey, what's the matter today? Are you uncomfortable?" Someone came to hold my hand.

"You look very bad, go see a doctor." Very loud voice.

"Hey, it can't be like this, call home and ask your husband to pick you up!" The big hand started to pull me.

I raised my dizzy head, and I was the owner of Fragrant Flower Shop.

"I'm fine." I muttered.

"Don't hold back, go back!"

"Well, thank you." I stood up and walked forward holding the railing.

"Can you do it alone?"

"It's okay, it's much better." I broke away from her hand.

An'an, An'an, An'an... My mind is still dazed.She is not An An. An An has been with me day and night since she was five years old. We have lived together for 11 years. I will never forget her every move. How could she be An An?But everything here seems to be An An's world, the world of me and An An!why?She doesn't have the shape of An An, but she has the spirit of An An. How could this be?

My thoughts are so indefinitely in a trance, sometimes sober and sometimes confused, sometimes quiet and sometimes impulsive.

The setting sun spreads broadly on the surface of the river, soaking moistly into the deep water, and a moon is open in the clear water, like a moist eye with tears.Have I been walking by the river for a long time?Just now the surface of the water shone so dazzlingly.When An An was crying, her eyes were like the moon in the river... Why was she crying?Does my laugh elicit that much reaction from her?I'm just a customer.Why is she holding my hand so tightly?I'm just a familiar guest.Why close the shop?Are businessmen so vulnerable?Why? ...Or these have nothing to do with me, but I am just being sentimental?

It should be, I am self-indulgent.

Even though I kept saying this to myself, my mind was in a mess.

"Come back so late! You scared us to death! You don't bring your mobile phone!"

My mother scolded me as soon as I entered the door, and hugged me before I finished speaking.I didn't say anything, just let her hug me quietly.

"What's the matter? What happened?" Mom started to stare into my eyes. Fortunately, the yard was dark and she couldn't see anything.

"It's been a long time walking by the river." I said.

"Eat quickly! The food is cold." Mom walked into the room holding my hand.

There are still warm home-cooked dishes on the table.

"Where's Dad?" I just remembered why Dad wasn't at home.

"He waited for you not to come back, so he went upstairs to take a shower."

"I'm sorry!" I hugged my mother's head and kissed her on the cheek.

"What's going on? Why don't you have any energy?" Although I tried to hide it, my mother still found my trance.

"Hmm... a little dizzy, maybe I spent too much time in the sun in the afternoon." I looked at my mother and smiled, but I didn't think I was looking at her, and I didn't know where I saw it, but I was just smiling.

"Go to bed early tonight!" Mom held my hand.

The white chrysanthemums on the windowsill are still very fresh and pure.The night wind brought bursts of fragrance.The night is not dark.There is the moon.

The moon, the moon in water.Those are Ann's eyes.I haven't seen her eyes for many years, maybe I will never see her again in this life.I caressed the white porcelain vase under the white chrysanthemum with sky-blue rustic stripes printed on it, and the blue slightly raised stripes were a bit blue under the moonlight.

"I like blue and yellow together, blue is the sky, yellow is the wild chrysanthemum. I also like black and yellow together, black is the night, yellow is the stars. And dark blue and white, that is the night sky and the moon "An An waved the pastel, "There is also green, which is the color of leaves, and white, which is the color of daisies...Wen Qing, do you think my paintings look good?"

"Well, very beautiful, as pure as An An." I looked up at her, and her "painting" was a mass of colors, obediently staying on the white drawing paper.

"What is 'pure'?" An An looked at her paintings and then at mine, as if to find out whether I was praising or criticizing.

"Uh, it's pure, that is, there are no impurities, no messy things mixed in." I looked into her big eyes, "Well, also, it gives people a very pleasant and comfortable feeling."

"Oh, that's it. Well, your paintings are not 'pure' at all, there are so many colors, and they are mixed everywhere." An An smiled and tapped my forehead with a brush that had been sucked dry, "But you are also very 'Pure', you are more 'pure' than me."

"Oh? Why?"

"It's because you gave me a very pleasant and comfortable feeling." An'an's voice was as bright as the sunlight outside the house.

"Wen Qing, I've changed." An An looked at the distant fields.

"Oh, what have you changed?"

"Before I only liked a few colors, now I like all the colors."

"Well, me too." I agreed, still bowing my head on my easel.I have always liked drawing. Since I became obsessed with chrysanthemums, we often draw chrysanthemums together, and even go to the wild to sketch on weekends.

"You're not!" An An suddenly shouted.I looked up at her, how could I be angry.

"An'an, what's the matter?" I walked over and fiddled with her wind-torn hair.

"You've always liked all colors."

"Yeah, what's the matter?"

"You didn't listen to me just now." An An suddenly shed two lines of tears.

When did you become so sensitive, you are only in the fourth grade.

"Okay, I was wrong. Don't be sad, huh?" I smiled and wiped her tears away.Ann's body has reached my lips.

An An stretched out her hands and hugged me tightly. She always liked to hold me tightly like this since she was in the fourth grade, and she was unwilling to let go for a long time.

"An'an, shall we continue to finish the painting?" I hugged her shoulders and sniffed her hair, "If the sun goes down, we won't be able to paint."

"No, let's take a rest." She put her head on my chest and refused to let go.

"Okay." I stroked her back, feeling the warmth of her warm body.

"I am often very scared now." An An said.

"What are you afraid of?"

"I am afraid that you will leave suddenly, and I am afraid that I will be alone."

"I've been here all the time." I kissed her temples.

"I don't know why, but when I hold you, I suddenly want to cry. It seems that I am not sad, but I just want to cry. But I don't want to let you go. I feel very comfortable and want to be like this forever." An Jing remained motionless. .

"An'an, we have always been happy, and we will always be happy!"

"Well, we are all happy! We will always be happy!" An An raised her face and smiled, "You have to promise me that you will not leave me!"

"Okay, Wenqing will never leave An'an!" I looked at her childish and smug face.

"Hmm!" An An's expression brightened again.

"Okay, now it's time to tell me why I like all the colors." I walked to her easel, the things painted on it were not 'pure' for a long time, there were many transitional colors, although they were still very sunny and bright, but The colors are much richer.

"Because every color is beautiful if put in the right place!"

"Well, do you still have a favorite?" I looked at the green that took up two-thirds of the screen.

"Well, green is my favorite."

"Why? You used to like blue and yellow."

"The combination of blue and yellow is green. You like blue the most, and I like yellow the most. When we are together, we are green. Hahaha!" An An said happily picking up the brush.

An An is the most beautiful and innocent dream in my memory. She and her flower shop have nothing to do with An An. An An cannot be copied, and An An cannot be imitated.That's just my illusion.

I left the window and began to meditate on the bed, closing my eyes and meditating. This is the method taught by Zen doctor to eliminate distracting thoughts and meditate.