abandoned cat

Lu Huaiting got up very early in the morning, rather than getting up, it was more like staying up all night, he was too excited, closing his eyes was a weird thing.

Stars on trees, bicycles in water, balloons floating among tall buildings...

He also thought about a lot of irrelevant things, so he had to look through the appointment card he got at the hospital last time, and make an appointment with a psychiatrist in the morning according to the phone number on it.

There were still vegetables bought the day before yesterday in the refrigerator, so he casually made fried rice with seasonal vegetables as a lunch box, and took out the soy milk that Yu Chen made for him, warmed it up in a small cup and drank it.

The time difference between Yu Chen and him is about seven hours. His side is at 06:30 in the morning, and Yu Chen's is at about 11:30. According to Yu Chen's usual schedule, he is probably already asleep.

He killed the idea of ​​saying good morning to Yu Chen, mopped the floor of the house, and went out with a lunch box.

He didn't go to work until 07 o'clock. He made an appointment with the doctor at 30 o'clock. He went to the company to punch his card first, put away his lunch box, and took the bus to the hospital at [-]:[-].

Lu Huaiting was sitting in the waiting area in a daze, when Yu Chen's video came over suddenly.

Lu Huaiting hung up the first time, and when he reacted, he quickly called back. Before Yu Chen answered, he hung up the video again.

He suddenly remembered that he was in the hospital. It wasn't that he didn't believe in Jian Jinjing's professional ability, but he didn't want to tell Jian Jinjing some messy things. After all, Jian Jinjing was Yu Chen's friend.

If Yu Chen knew that he secretly came to visit the new doctor, he would definitely misunderstand that he had a problem with his friend.

Lu Huaiting clutched his sleeves a little restlessly, but Yu Chen didn't call again, he just asked in WeChat: Where are you?

Lu Huaiting bit his lower lip, typed a pale reply: I'm in the bathroom, it's not convenient to take the video.

Yu Chen quickly replied: OK, then when you are free, send me a video call and let me know.

Lu Huaiting: Okay, is it early morning over there?Why don't you sleep yet?

Yu Chen curled up his hands under the quilt to type, his face was a little pale by the white light of the mobile phone, he deleted and deleted some words, retyped them again and again, and finally deleted them all, and said softly to the voice input of the mobile phone: "I will I sent a post and wanted you to ask me, but you kept ignoring me, I kept thinking about you while lying in bed, but just now I suddenly remembered that you can’t see my circle of friends at all.”

When Lu Huaiting saw the voice note, he habitually clicked on the bookmark, and then clicked to open it in his ear.

After hearing this, his expression was a little weird, and he didn't understand what Yu Chen meant by saying this?

Moreover, the tone was very low and depressing. Lu Huaiting could hardly imagine the way Yu Chen said this. The Yu Chen in his mind was always high-spirited, indifferent and decisive. It's not that he has never been included in Yu Chen's life plan, he also wants to praise Yu Chen's ability from the sidelines.

He didn't know what to reply, he was afraid that Yu Chen would hate him if he replied wrongly, so he just stared at the phone silently.

Yu Chen's voice came back again, "Maybe you will be very concerned about saying that, because I really annoyed you at that time, so I chose to block your messages, and I also feel helpless for you to stare at my updates all the time. , At that time, I felt that loving someone requires a sense of distance, just knowing it, you don’t have to be too close, both of them are men, and they have their own things, it’s strange to be sticky together all the time, isn’t it?” Yu Chen took a breath and said softly, "But now I realize that love is not like this. Love is longing and intimacy. It is wanting to be with you all the time."

Lu Huaiting was a little dazed after listening halfway, he thought to himself that he had guessed correctly, Yu Chen just annoyed him and hated him, and only kept him because he sympathized with him for losing his mother and kitten, but it doesn't matter, he doesn't want to be the same as before Enough.

He ignored what Yu Chen said later, and replied, [It's time to go to work, I'll work first. ]

He saw the doctor greet him at the door, and asked him if he was patient No. [-] on the screen. Lu Huaiting put away his phone, nodded, and followed the doctor in.

Yu Chen was stunned for a moment when he received his reply, he was so bored, he always felt that Lu Huaiting didn't value him as much as before.

Like a hedgehog, as long as he approves and is willing, he will only show his soft belly to himself. If it is not given by him, Yu Chen will only touch his thorns when he reaches out.

There was only such a small piece, the softness that Lu Huaiting exposed to him, the softness that wrapped him was all the thorns he used for self-defense, stabbing Yu Chen suddenly, the pain made him feel at a loss for a moment.

"Mr. Lu, what's the problem with this visit?" The doctor called up Lu Huaiting's medical records in the system, his brows raised slightly, and the time interval was a little long. He somehow still had a little impression of this patient, remembering him The situation is not very serious.

Lu Huaiting put his hands flat on his lap, sat up straight slightly awkwardly, and said in a low voice, "I've been thinking about problems, I feel very tired, and I can't sleep. When I close my eyes, I will see a lot of scary things."

"What is it that scares you?" The doctor got up and poured him a glass of warm water.

Lu Huaiting closed his eyes slightly, "...it's a disgusting bug, and everything before it."

The doctor still had that gentle and peaceful appearance, his voice was soft, "Is everything the same as the disgusting bug before?"

Lu Huaiting was stunned for a moment, then shook his head and said, "No, in the past... there was my lover in the past."

"Is it separated?" The doctor deliberately avoided words such as breakup and divorce. He felt that the eyes of the person in front of him were faltering when talking about his lover.

Lu Huaiting looked at the glass in front of him, and suddenly remembered that the glass he put away in the cabinet belonged to Yu Chen, and Yu Chen knocked a hole on the coffee table.

"...No, we are together again." He lowered his head and watched his fingers holding the hem of his clothes twisted together, feeling extremely disgusted with himself.

"Mr. Yu, the document you sent me is not from Xisui Group." Lin Xian flipped through the faxed document in her hand and whispered into the phone.

Yu Chen sat on the bed, put his notebook on the quilt, flipped through the electronic version of the document, frowned slightly, "...well, I saw it, wait a moment." Probably the stacked documents were sent by mistake, and Yu Chen Chen put the notebook aside, got up, put on a coat, and went to the hotel to borrow a fax machine with his slippers on.

"Isn't this a good thing? Is it... worrying about gains and losses?" The doctor asked softly.

The day of the spring equinox is still a bit chilly, Lu Huaiting is wearing the padded coat that Yu Chen bought for him today, and the hat has a circle of white fur. When he tilts his face slightly, he can feel the soft fluff brushing against his face. I stretched out my hand and scratched it.

"I feel very sorry for him, he doesn't like me..." He blinked, and said helplessly, "It's just because my family members passed away, and my kitten was trampled to death, I just feel sorry for me as a madman."

"..." The doctor paused, "Did he come back to be with you because of what happened to you?"

Lu Huaiting pursed his lips, and said after a while: "I was stimulated for a while, causing troubles to others insanely, he couldn't stand it, so he took me home, and took care of me until I got better... I thought He'd let me go, but he said we're back together."

The doctor picked up a pen and drew a circle on the white drawing board, drew a line in half, and asked softly, "Why are you separated?"

Lu Huaiting's eyes fell on the drawing board, and he replied: "Because he was just bored, he played with me and didn't include me in his life plan."

The doctor added a line to the half of the circle, "during your relationship, did you feel his love?"

Lu Huaiting paused, then smiled: "...To be honest, I can't tell the difference between love and liking. He used to say he likes me, maybe he really likes me, but I just took it as love."

The doctor frowned subconsciously, and soon relaxed, "Then he is with you now, is he happy?"

Lu Huaiting was caught by his question, and for a moment he didn't know how to answer. It seemed that he hadn't paid attention to what made Yu Chen happy for a long time. Instead, he had been paying attention to 'what to do to make Yu Chen feel bored'.

The doctor drew two more lines in the semicircle where the lines were drawn, and said softly: "Did you pay more in the past when you got along?"

Yu Chen re-faxed the document to Lin Xian. The transparent glass on the table cast light onto the fingertips hanging on the table, reflecting a faint red color.

He took a picture of the night scene outside the window and sent it to Lu Huaiting.

[I met my brother yesterday. He recently planned to marry the daughter of the Miao Shi Group. He was preparing for the wedding. I asked him if he wanted to get Sister Lin back?He said that some things can't be found if they are lost. He chose his current life for the benefit, so he has to go to the end of life for the benefit. ]

The phone buzzed, Lu Huaiting regained consciousness in a trance, the first reaction was to see the doctor's expression, the doctor smiled at him, "It's okay, maybe there is something important, you should take a look first."

Lu Huaiting shook his head, turned off the phone, and said: "...It should be considered that he paid a lot. He protected me when I was young, and he was the first to bring it up when we were together. He would tell me all kinds of strange stories. He will sing me a lot of songs he wrote himself, and he will tell me a lot of correct choices. In fact, when I think about it carefully, he never told me about the future.

[However, the choice is wrong. Shouldn’t it be better to fight for the opportunity and choose the one you want the most? ]

"He is really nice, kind-hearted, and often soft-hearted. In fact, I am the bad guy. I use his sympathy and soft-heartedness to pester him... Fortunately, he also understands it, so he stays away from me very decisively." Lu Huaiting recalled that day At night, the light cast by the street lamp fell on his body and turned into a shadow and fell to the ground, his voice became extremely soft, "But at that time it really hurt... When he said no one would love me, I didn't even know the pain Where is it, I can't say a word."

The doctor reached out and handed him a candy, "... If you don't want to think about it, let's stop this topic, okay?"

[The night view here is also very beautiful, can I bring you here next time?I have a lot of words to say to you. ]

Lu Huaiting sighed softly, "...I don't know what to do, I like him so much, but I don't want to take advantage of his soft heart and sympathy."

He peeled off the wrapper of the candy in his hand, put it in his mouth, and tasted a hint of sweetness.

"I'm really afraid of him too, afraid of him leaving, afraid that he will drive me away, afraid that he hates me, afraid that he will never talk to me again." Lu Huaiting lowered his eyes, "I don't know what he is thinking, if he wants to get married again , but also to pursue their own goals in life, what about me?"

"Should I continue to wait for him? Or... should I disappear as soon as possible?"

[I can go home in another day, baby, I want to eat your tinfoil soybean fish. (Grievance.jpg)]

The doctor was silent for a while, then handed the drawing board in his hand to Lu Huaiting, the circle on it was mostly drawn with lines, but the number of lines on both sides of the half-divided circle was different.

Lu Huaiting looked down, and the doctor said: "Suppose you and your lover are two semicircles, your love for him is the line in your circle, and his love for you is the line in his circle, who do you think Love more?"

Lu Huaiting pointed to the side with more lines, and whispered: "This is his..."

The doctor nodded, "My lines are drawn based on your description, what you have done to him, and what he has done to you, do you think your love is less than his?"

Lu Huaiting was dumb for a moment, then suddenly said: "I don't know, he doesn't love me..."

The doctor gently drew a big X on the circle with a pen, "You think he has paid a lot, but he doesn't love you, just because of sympathy... As far as I know, most people, despite their strong empathy ability, And empathy, but not self-sacrifice because of sympathy for someone, he may be for a group of people, not for one person."

"Why?" Lu Huaiting raised his eyes in confusion.

The doctor explained: "This involves groupness and autonomy. When you talk about his life planning, goals, and execution ability, it shows that this person has a very strong personality, and he will definitely consider carefully when dealing with issues about himself. No matter how much empathy and empathy this kind of person has, he will never love someone because of sympathy."

"But he just doesn't love me..." Lu Huaiting smiled helplessly, "It's so strange, why did it become a love consultation."

The doctor said seriously: "This is not love counseling. This is the crux of your problem. You have to sort it out before you know what you should do."

Lu Huaiting silently looked at the circle with the X drawn on it, feeling weird in his heart, thinking about what the doctor said, he was a little at a loss.

Yu Chen paid more than him, but it was not love.

He loves Yu Chen, but he doesn't give as much as Yu Chen.

Yu Chen rescued him, and took him home after such a long time. Because he was too annoying, he drove him away from his side, but he came to pick him up again because he was pitiful.

He couldn't help laughing out loud, feeling that Yu Chen was like an idiot, who obviously hated garbage like him, but picked up trash that no one wanted.

"Mr. Lu, I think you are a little too arrogant. Your lover certainly loves you. Did you choose to escape his love because of your own reasons?" The doctor asked again.

Lu Huaiting blinked and said softly: "He doesn't love me, if he loves me I will be very happy, how can I be willing to escape."

"...Have you asked him?" The doctor sensed his paranoia and couldn't help looking into his eyes.

Lu Huaiting frowned slightly, with puzzled eyes, "How could I ask him this question?"

The doctor breathed a sigh of relief, feeling that there was room for this question, and continued: "Why don't you ask?"

Lu Huaiting said rightly: "Because he told me that no one will love me."

"..."

"Mr. Yu, the base has given the results. We will re-survey this mission tomorrow morning and we will be done." Qi Yun received a message from the partner in the middle of the night, so she had to try to see if Yu Chen was asleep. The boss was standing in the aisle of the hotel with a mobile phone in his hand, probably looking at some news, with a cold expression on his face.

Qi Yun went up and said the partner's answer.

Yu Chen recovered from his mobile phone, nodded his head, and showed some joy on the brows, "Then book a ticket for tomorrow morning, it happens to arrive around five in the afternoon, and I can pick up my wife from get off work."

Qi Yun inexplicably took a mouthful of dog food, and grinned behind Yu Chen's back, "Okay."

Yu Chen didn't pay attention to him, bowed his head and typed again to send a message to Lu Huaiting, but stopped halfway through typing, deleted all the typed words, and muttered in a dull voice: "...Why am I so impatient? ah."

Qi Yun thought to herself, indeed, they are all coquettish,

Yu Chen stuffed the phone back into his pocket, took a deep breath, turned and went back to the room.

"The condition of the examination is not very good. I'll prescribe some medicine for you. You can't take more or less, just take according to the amount." The doctor wrote the medical record, handed the medicine list to Lu Huaiting, and said warmly: "It's okay, Mr. Lu, If you really can't control your emotions, please come to the hospital and don't resist. As for your lover... I suggest you communicate with him more, and explain your medication situation to him."

Lu Huaiting took the medicine list and thanked him. His consultation this time made him a little confused. Although the doctor told him a lot, he couldn't remember clearly.

"Thank you doctor." He bent over to the doctor and went downstairs with the medicine list.

On the way back to the company, there was a traffic jam for more than an hour. When Lu Huaiting arrived at the company, it was already 10:30, and the colleagues in the office were busy. He stood at the door of the office for a while, and was about to walk in. A colleague said: " Where have you been? You can’t get through on the phone, so don’t come to work if you don’t want to do anything, Mr. Xu is your concubine, what a big deal? This year, I originally recruited my friends, but because you want to come, Mr. Xu directly doesn’t want new people Already!"

Lu Huaiting was still holding the medicine bag in his hand, and he paused for a while, "...I just got stuck in traffic and was late, so the finance department will deduct my full attendance, and I didn't give you my work, let alone ask you to do it."

That colleague didn't know whether he was too surprised to hear Lu Huaiting's rebuttal for the first time or was angered by Lu Huaiting. He stared directly at Lu Huaiting, snorted coldly and didn't speak again.

Another male colleague suddenly said: "You sell｜Is your ass very sloppy? You come to hook up with Mr. Xu if you can't stay in Yu's? I don't care how much you do. You look like you are dying every day. Who are you pretending to look at? It’s not your turn to be a low｜cheap｜ bastard like you. Who hasn’t seen your nude photos? My friend who works at Yu’s was disgusted by you. I sympathized with him at the beginning , now he sympathizes with me and works with someone like you."

"..." Lu Huaiting's lips trembled slightly, as if he had returned to the time when he saw the email in the intranet mailbox. The pain of being spurned and insulted made his expression slightly distorted. He squeezed the handle of the bag tightly, wanting to He tried to justify something, but he couldn't make a sound when he opened his mouth.

How did it become like this again?

He doesn't understand.

Why does such a thing keep pestering him?

He really didn't know what to say, looking at every colleague who gave him disgusted looks, he almost burst out laughing.

This is probably the group effect that the doctor said. Do they really understand me?Is it okay to hate me like this?

There was really nothing to say, he turned and went downstairs, walking towards the company gate.

Whatever you want, whoever wants to be your colleague.

Who wants you to like it.

Who wants to be tossed again and again like this.

When Lu Huaiting walked to the steps, his hands and feet suddenly felt numb, and his calves went limp, so he could only sit on the steps with his arms around a large bag of medicine.

He really didn't know what to do.

It wasn't until he came out that he realized that he couldn't look back, but this is Xu Cheng's company, and he messed things up like this again, what would Yu Chen think of him?

Are you going to go back and apologize?And then continue to work with this group of colleagues?

He sniffed, carefully hugged his medicine tightly, bent slightly, and suppressed the pain in his heart.

I miss my mother so much, he doesn't want to apologize to those who bullied him, and he doesn't want to go back.

He really wanted to go home.

Yu Chen hurried to the airport, Qi Yun dragged the suitcase for him, watched him buy a bunch of special products at the airport, and turned around from time to time to ask, "Do you think this Ting Ting will like it?"

Qi Yun nodded numbly, "Don't buy Mr. Yu, you won't be able to take it back."

Yu Chen continued shopping without looking back, "It's fine if someone sends it back to the country."

"……Row."

Before boarding the plane, Yu Chen called Lu Huaiting, he smiled and called Tingting, in exchange for a faint "um".

Yu Chen didn't care, and said with a smile, "Did you work hard today?"

Lu Huaiting paused, "... yes."

Yu Chen wanted to say that he would be back soon and was ready to pick him up from get off work, but he also wanted to give him a surprise, so he faltered and asked what gift he wanted, Lu Huaiting said softly, "...whatever."

Yu Chen was stunned for a moment, "Okay, then I'll buy whatever I want."

Lu Huaiting: "Yes."

Yu Chen said again: "Are you tired from work? I feel like you don't have much energy.

Lu Huaiting paused for a long time before laughing: "No, it's okay... Are you busy with work? You slept so late yesterday."

This is the Lu Huaiting that Yu Chen is familiar with again.

Sure enough, Yu Chen felt much more comfortable in his heart, and replied: "It's almost finished, and it's very likely that I can go back tomorrow. You cook the soybean fish at home and wait for me."

Lu Huaiting smiled, "...Okay." He raised his hand to wipe away the tears in his eyes, tried to restrain his emotions and said, "I won't talk to you anymore, my colleague asked me to deliver the documents, let's talk tonight."

"En, good." Yu Chen responded, waiting for Lu Huaiting to hang up first.

Lu Huaiting turned off the phone with shaking hands, looked back at the towering Xu's building, got up and left.