The taste of love is bitter

"You know Xiaoyu?" He turned to look at me in surprise.

"Well, he told me everything, so I won't compete for love with a dead person, or maybe I can't grab it at all. Although she is gone, the senior's love is not lacking at all. I think no one can grab it, right?" I murmured.

He lowered his head and said softly, "You still like him, don't you?"

"..." I was stunned, and after thinking about it carefully, it is true that it is false to say that I don't like it, but this kind of liking is impossible to bear fruit. Apart from other things, the gender alone is wrong.

"Go to sleep." Seeing that I didn't speak, Ruan Yuchen got up and patted the ashes on his clothes.

"Ruan Yuchen!" I grabbed him.

"..." He looked back at me without saying a word.

"Are you acquainted with Senior Jin, right? You also know Xiaoyu, right? You..." I always feel that their relationship is unusual.

"Our business has nothing to do with you. If you want to know, you can ask him yourself." He shook off my hand, turned off the light and went to bed.

I have insomnia, and I keep thinking about Senior Kim’s words and Ruan Yuchen’s words in my heart. I can’t fulfill Senior Kim’s request, I can’t let myself go wrong, and I can’t let Senior Kim continue to suffer. I’ve already decided to leave him and see you no more He, like this, he still loves Zu Xiaoyu, and I'm just a passerby, a passerby who has nothing to do with him.As for Ruan Yuchen, I have never understood him. He never told me about him, and our current relationship is nothing more than that simple if he doesn't beat me and I don't get beaten.Thinking back carefully, these two people appeared in my life so dramatically, I don’t know any of them, even I only know their names, and they seem to regard me as that, they have known at the same time People, that's all!Then I finally understood that I still have no friends. To Jin Yuhao, to Ruan Yuchen, to Xu Jingjing, and to Li Hao, I was just a passer-by, appearing without warning, then leaving silently, and finally gradually forgotten.Maybe in the near future, I will really leave forever. If I see Zu Xiaoyu, I will tell her that the senior really loves her and has always loved her. I will tell her that I am very jealous of her and have always been very Jealousy, I will tell her that I will take care of her for the senior, not for anything else, just for the senior to live happily.

The sky gradually turned white, and the snow did not know when it would stop. I put on my clothes and walked out of the dormitory gently. The door downstairs was opened. I stepped on the thick snow and walked forward step by step. Where, I don't know, just follow the feeling aimlessly.Later, I came to the iron gate with a gap unknowingly. The snow had already covered our footprints last night. I walked through the iron gate for a while, and then at the place where Senior Jin blindfolded me, Close your eyes, move forward according to your feeling, stumble, take a few steps and fall, take a few steps and fall, but I never opened my eyes. Later, my intuition told me that I was here. Opened my eyes, although I deviated from the route, I still Saw those two snowmen, and they were destroyed.

I walked over, looked at the broken snowman, suddenly felt so funny, maybe I really fell in love with him, I, Wu Qiong, fell in love with a man, how ironic, in my 16 years of youth, nothing but the hospital was home , There are not many people in contact with, and I am a little slow in feelings, and the first time I knew what love is, the other party was actually a boy through and through!How absurd, how ridiculous, how disgusting!This kind of love is doomed to be fruitless, just like these two snowmen, if they are forced together, they are doomed to lose. Instead of this, it is better to let go and be safe!

I sat next to the snowman and watched the sun rise a little bit. The rising sun symbolizes hope. Where is my hope?It may not be that one day God will call me back when I am unhappy. At that time, there will be no such person as Wu Qiong in this world, no one who looks like Zu Xiaoyu, no more me...

No.20 nine

Christmas is over, we started to enter the intense review period, and then we faced the exam, and finally looked forward to the holiday. During this period, I didn’t see the seniors again, and I was not close or far from Ruan Yuchen. I basically didn’t say a few words. In fact, I deliberately Avoid him, no reason, just don't want to see him.

In the blink of an eye, the new year is here, and I am very glad that I have survived another year, and I am one year older. During the new year, Xu Jingjing's family came back, and she came to my house to play, and of course she kept asking about the senior , I said I don't know, I really don't know, we have no contact.My mother always mentioned Ruan Yuchen. Of course, in her heart, he was still the well-behaved and sensible Xiaohao. Ruan Yuchen gave me his mobile phone. Not long after he injured his foot last time, he also said that he would give me a new Walkman. I said No, he said he had to, or he would have a bad conscience, and we all forgot about it afterwards.

The holidays seem to go by so fast, and I still don’t feel much better. The new semester is here again. After the semester started, I changed the dormitory, and Ruan Yuchen didn’t live in the campus anymore. I don’t know why I always feel that Ruan Yuchen and Senior Jin grow So when I saw him, I would think of Senior Kim, so I told the class teacher a reason to transfer the class, and I was transferred to another class.After half a semester like this, I, Senior Jin, and Ruan Yuchen, the three of us really seemed to have never known each other, and we really had no contact with each other.

In May, my birthday came, and I didn’t intend to celebrate it at first, but unexpectedly Xu Jingjing came. She said that there was an accident in their school, so the class was temporarily suspended. I asked her what happened, and she said it was because of two classmates Falling in love, was discovered by the teacher, refused to listen to the persuasion, and even contradicted the teacher. Later, the love affair was made public by the whole school, and the family also exerted pressure. As a result, the two held hands and jumped off the teaching building, and both died.Frightened a lot of classmates, so the school was closed.I said it's a pity, two people who are in their youth just finished their life like this, in fact, they are also very happy, aren't they?At least they complied with the saying that they cannot be born in the same month and the same day, but they should die in the same month and the same day. This is also a life-and-death relationship.Xu Jingjing pouted and asked me, do you know what's going on with them, just envious?I was puzzled, she said they were all boys!

My heart skipped a beat, and I suddenly smiled wryly. Sure enough, it turns out that boys really can't fall in love. Their result is like those two snowmen, both of them lose!Whether they were together after death is unknown, but what we living people see is that they are all dead, isn't it?I didn't speak, and Xu Jingjing didn't continue this topic.

In the afternoon, it’s all self-study classes. It’s not easy for Xu Jingjing to come here. I asked for leave, and she said she would celebrate my birthday with me, but she insisted on calling the senior, saying that since we can’t be together, it’s not bad to be a good brother. I said senior No time, the college entrance examination is coming soon, and he is under a lot of pressure.She said that it was just for him to decompress, and she would drag him out even if she didn't have time. I couldn't refuse, and I couldn't let her know what happened between us.She asked me if I wanted to tell Ruan Yuchen, and I said no, but she said that it happened that she didn't like him either, so it was fine if I didn't tell him.

I didn't expect the senior to come. I haven't seen him for a few months. He has lost a lot of weight. Maybe it's because he didn't rest well, and there are dark circles under his eyes. After we met, we looked at each other and smiled, but we didn't speak. Xu Jingjing was always alone. We were chirping, and we echoed occasionally.Xu Jingjing asked the senior if he knew why he was asked to come to eat?The senior said it was to welcome her.Xu Jingjing shook her head and said, no, today is our birthday star Wu Dashou's 17th birthday!After today, Wu Qiong will be 17 years old.I said yes, it was not easy, I survived another year, Xu Jingjing patted me on the shoulder and said, you will survive for many years in the future, don’t worry, take your time.We all laughed after that.The senior said he didn't buy a gift, I said no, he said he would give me more later, I said you don't owe me anything, and we stopped talking afterwards.

After eating, I went shopping for a while, and then sent Xu Jingjing to the bus home. I walked back with the senior, and no one spoke along the way. When we were about to reach the school, the senior stopped me.

"Wu Qiong!"

"Huh?" I stopped in my tracks.

"Can't we...really be friends?" He asked me suddenly.

"I'm sorry!" I bowed my head, what I want is not a friend.

"Don't be sorry, I know I'm too much, you're right, I don't deserve to be your friend." His smile was a bit bitter.

"No, it's me..." Seeing him wryly smile, I suddenly feel so distressed.

"Can you promise me one thing? After the college entrance examination, I will never come back here again. Can you take a photo with me? Let's keep it as a souvenir. If you don't agree... then forget it." He interrupted me and said in a pleading tone.

"Okay!" I nodded lightly in agreement with him.

I'm about to leave, and one day I will leave too. At that time, we will all go to the end of the world, and finally ashes will return to ashes, and dust will return to dust. Maybe we will never see each other again in this lifetime. One day when I suddenly think of each other, it is enough to take out the photos so that the faces in the memory will not be blurred.