Qinghong

I clearly remember everything that happened that day, every detail, every sound, every touch.I seem to have entered the empty waters, what is about to happen, what is happening and what has happened around me knocks on my eardrums and collides with my vision, but cannot enter my head.I remember the crisp "ding——", from sharp to flat, and gradually disappearing.

In the days that followed, I repeatedly fantasized about what kind of future I would be in without that "ding——".

What kind of future will Ning Qing and I go to?

It's a pity that there is no if, and there is no big red button in front of me that can go back to the past, and history can be changed with a click. In front of me are two boxes of chalk, a three-foot podium, and a book of advanced mathematics spread out on the table.I turned around, wrote down the calculus function formula on the blackboard, raised my voice, broke the formula into pieces and explained it thoroughly, trying to make the students in the last row who are playing mobile phones, playing games and sleeping can understand, or in other words, listen to arrive.

In the big class in the lecture theater, students from four classes are attending together. My gaze wandered around and landed on the blue-haired girl in the second row. I tapped on the blackboard, looked at her and said, "What's your student number?"

"190213," she said.

I lowered my head and marked on the roster: "Have you found the answer to the formula?"

"Equal to 1." She stood up and said.

"No." I looked at her, "How do you calculate?"

"I... I didn't count." She said honestly, her big round eyes blinking, "I guessed."

The students below laughed, she stood on the seat generously, raised her head and asked me: "What is the answer?"

I replied helplessly: "One-half."

She clenched her fists: "I almost guessed right!"

"...I hope you will have better luck next time." I said, "Sit down, remember this formula, and don't cry to me if you make a mistake during the exam."

"Got it." She sat down and looked at me smilingly with her chin in her hands. Her blue hair was fluffy and curly, like a foggy mushroom.

The girl's name is Lian Junya, a sophomore at Xinchuan College, with a lively and cheerful personality.I remember her because she changes her hair color every ten days and half a month, like a walking Skittles.

It may be because of my mild temper, the students I teach are not only not afraid of me, but also often make some small jokes with me.

I glanced out the window, and the lecture theater was on the first floor. There were lush bamboo forests and bushes next to the window, and a round, fat magpie was standing by the window with its tail curled up.The sunlight passes through the branches and leaves of the poplar and plane trees, shines into the window, and casts circular light spots.

On a beautiful and peaceful afternoon, the students were immersed in calculating the classroom test questions I had handed out. There was a constant sound of rustling writing. I opened a page of the book and folded a corner.

"Clap."

The girl on the left in the first row accidentally knocked off the pen cap. She exclaimed in a low voice, squatted down on the chair, and stretched her arms to pick up the pen cap.

The flow of time slowed down, slowly and wobbly, forming a cobweb of ignorance, wrapping me in it, unable to break free.

Suddenly, "Ding——"

The mobile phone text message sounded, like a sharp long sword, which caught me by surprise and nailed me to death in the middle of the spider web.For the first time, I felt that the sound was so sharp, piercing my eardrums and beating my soul directly.

I picked up the phone, glanced at it, and stopped breathing, [Ning Qing is dead. 】

The text message was sent by my old classmate Wang Ruihao. Both of us are PhD students. I am studying full-time and he is studying on the job.There are not many people in the Faculty of Science. Although we are not in the same major, we can always meet in the cafeteria for lunch.

Wang Ruihao works in the Municipal Public Security Bureau, and he is in the same system as Ning Qing. He has much better information than I do, so I asked him to secretly take care of Ning Qing.

Unexpectedly, Ning Qing died.

Half a month ago, Ning Qing approached me for a drink, saying that he was going on a mission in Yunnan, and brought me good mushroom soup when he came back.

Putting down the phone, I don't know what my face is like. The students who finished writing the test under the podium poked their heads, and when they saw me, they shrunk their necks and lowered their heads obediently.

"Just hand it in after you finish writing." My voice was a little erratic, I cleared my throat, and repeated, "After you hand it in, you can leave get out of class."

After a while, the courageous students took the lead to stand up and hand in their homework.Lian Junya is usually the first to hand in homework, but this time she waited until there were not many people in the classroom before standing up, walked to the podium, gently put down the homework paper, and asked me in a low voice: "Teacher, are you uncomfortable?" ?"

I didn't know how to answer her, my brain was in a daze, like countless sharp thorns pierced into my brain, and I couldn't shout or cry.I smiled instinctively and reassured her: "No."

She looked at me several times worriedly, then walked out of the classroom.

After the students left sparsely, I packed up my homework papers, took my books, carried my bag, and left the empty lecture theater.

Stepping out of the teaching building, the sun shone on my arms. I shrunk my fingertips and curled them into my sleeves. It was March in Yangchun, and it was as cold as winter.

Most of the roads on the university campus are double-lane, semi-enclosed management, cars cannot enter and exit casually, and the double-lane is not considered crowded.The thick trees on both sides of the road are about the diameter of a person with arms outstretched.Jinmen University, a century-old school in Tianjin, is surrounded by lush trees. Ning Qing often walked with me on the campus, lamenting that he had the opportunity to study at Jinmen University at work.

Ning Qing and I are not natives of Tianjin. Coincidentally, we both chose to settle in Tianjin.I like Tianjin. It is more leisurely and comfortable than Beijing, and more prosperous and rich than Hebei.I am a lazy person who is afraid of the cold and hates the humidity. After traveling around the south and the north, I finally settled in Tianjin, a coastal city with heating in winter. It is close to Beijing but not in Beijing. It is perfect.

No way, some academic seminars are often held in Beijing. If I live too far away from Beijing, the air ticket alone will be too expensive for a year.I live in Tianjin, take the intercity train to Beijing for half an hour, and return home in the blink of an eye after the meeting. The round-trip ticket is 113 yuan, which is only the price of a hot pot meal.

Ning Qing is a police officer of the Municipal Public Security Bureau, so theoretically nothing should happen.I never thought about whether his occupation was dangerous. He is a policeman of the city bureau, and he is always different from policemen in other areas.

I walked under the tree and remembered the scene of Ning Qing asking me for a drink.I don’t smoke often, but I smoke one occasionally, only when I encounter the bottleneck of the thesis. When he came to me, I happened to be catching up with the thesis on differential topology.He dragged me out of the office, snatched my cigarette, put it in his mouth and took the last puff, pressed the lid of the trash can to knock it off, and said, "Nerd, come with me."

I drank with him until midnight. My physique is inherited from my dad. I don’t get drunk after a thousand cups.Ning Qing doesn't drink lightly, compared to me, it's still not enough.He was drunk and foolish, put his hand on my shoulder, and said indistinctly: "I'm going to take a job, a mission, wait for me, wait for me to come back, there will be surprises."

surprise?I propped my chin with one hand, my head was dizzy, but it didn't affect my judgment: "What surprise?"

"I can't tell you, I can't tell, you." He pinched my nose, swayed from side to side, and smiled so hard, "I won't tell you."

If you don’t tell me, don’t tell me. I stood up, my eyes blurred, and I held onto the table to keep my balance: "Boss, pay the bill."

After paying the bill, I picked up Ning Qing and left the restaurant. I asked, "Which hotel are you staying at?"

He tilted his head, closed his eyes tightly, and leaned against my shoulder to breathe steadily, looking totally defenseless.I waved for a taxi and stuffed him into the back seat to drive him home.I live in the staff room of Jinmen University, one bedroom and one living room. I took him home. Although I really wanted to sleep in the same bed with him, considering his feelings, I carefully helped him to the bed and picked up the bed. The quilt sleeps on the sofa.

In the morning, I was woken up by the sound of soymilk being made by the wall-breaking machine. I rubbed my temples and sat up. Ning Qing yelled at me: "The fried eggs are on the dining table!"

"Understood!" I yelled back, feeling full of satisfaction in my heart, how nice this is, Ning Qing and I are like a couple who have been together for a long time.It's a pity that Ning Qing doesn't know what I mean, and I'm too timid to speak out.

He is Ning Qing, a sincere and straightforward people's policeman. I never asked him about his sexual orientation, and even before I met him, I had several girlfriends.Falling in love with him was something I never expected.

Ning Qing's appearance matched his name and occupation very well. He was handsome with sword eyebrows and starry eyes. He wore a full hair and pretended to be tender. A 27-year-old man pretended to be a college student and walked into my class as an undercover agent.

Thinking of this, I took out my cigarette case, took out a cigarette, and bit it between my teeth, secretly expecting a miracle to happen. Ning Qing suddenly appeared and told me that this was the surprise he had prepared for me.

I stood under the tree, and the cold spring breeze blew by, shaking the treetops.

"Clap."

I turned on the lighter, and a blue flame came out. After licking the end of the cigarette, the scarlet flame flashed for a moment, exuding the smell of tobacco.

The nicotine wakes up my brain, and the momentary clarity is accompanied by severe pain.

Ning Qing died.

My fingertips trembled and I could barely hold the cigarette.I'm 29 years old, I've known Ning Qing for two years, and I've had a crush on him for a year. Time is cruel, and before I ask, I'll never have a chance to ask.

Ning Qing, did you ever like my thoughts for a moment?

I dare not ask, let alone listen to his answer, or ridicule. He is not a narrow-minded person, so he will definitely not laugh at me. He will frown and patiently persuade me to give up such absurd thoughts.

I smoked a whole cigarette and threw the butt into the trash can. When the phone rang, it was Wang Ruihao calling.

"Lan Sheng." He said, his voice showing concern, "Are you okay?"

"I..." I considered my words, "Is he buried?"

"His identity, you know, is more sensitive." Wang Ruihao said hesitantly, "I'm afraid you are the last person to know the news."

"Oh." I responded dryly.

"His family took away his ashes and belongings." Wang Ruihao said, "Sadly."

"Hmm." I was like a deflated balloon, with no strength in my body.

"Don't think too much, I'll have dinner with you another day." Wang Ruihao said, "I have a meeting."

"Go." I took it as a polite word from him. We didn't have a deep friendship, so we couldn't talk about dinner. "Goodbye." I hung up the phone and continued walking along the road.After passing the artificial lake, I thought, who would Ning Qing think of at the last moment of her life?