Qinghong

After rolling the sheets with Ning Hong in silence, I didn't stay overnight and walked home all the way in the dark.From east to south, I walked slowly for four kilometers alone. At three o'clock in the morning, there were no pedestrians and few cars on the street, and the whole city fell into a deep sleep.

[Lansheng, have you seen the sunrise? 】

【No, I can't get up. 】

[Have the opportunity to watch the sunrise together. 】

I found a wooden chair to sit down and rest my feet. I was physically and mentally exhausted, my phone was out of power, and the bushes around me were buzzing with bugs. I shrugged my shoulders.

Ning Qing, when will you watch the sunrise with me?

I am so tired of waiting.

Leaning back and leaning against the back of the chair, I yawned. The night was thick and the morning breeze was cold. I was like a homeless man sleeping on the street with my eyes closed.

I don't know how long it took, maybe an hour, maybe a minute, the sky lit up inch by inch, as if the flashlight was pushed to the maximum power one by one.I opened my eyes in a daze, watching the morning light pass through the building and shine on my feet, and the gray and black birds across the sky. I stretched my sore neck and straightened my waist to look at the fireball rising in the east.

Sunrise, sunrise again, I have seen countless times of sunrise during countless sleepless nights, such a magnificent view has changed from a beautiful symbol to a vicious curse in my eyes, I desperately want to get away from it.How I wish that one night, I can sleep until the sky is bright, without tormenting dreams, without anxiety and irritability, only a peaceful sleep.

I stood up and ran against the direction of the sunrise. The rising sun lengthened my shadow, and every step I took was stepping on my own shadow, with an inexplicable sense of irony.

Zou Lansheng, you are a complete asshole.

I spent the entire four-kilometer walk overnight, and my mind was clearer. When I opened the door, Zou Haiyang frowned and looked at me: "Have you cheated on me? You look so bad."

"Yeah." I lowered my head to change my shoes, "Why did you get up so early?" After an in-depth exchange with Ning Hong, Zou Haiyang was right, I did have an affair.

"Headache, can't sleep." Zou Haiyang said, he tapped the back of his head, "Hiss...it feels like being run over by a train, boom boom boom boom boom."

"I'm going to cook the porridge." I said, "Or I'll make you a pot of noodles?"

"Noodles, I want to drink salty soup." Zou Haiyang said.

"Okay." I stepped on my slippers and walked to the kitchen to boil water and cook.

Zou Haiyang leaned against the door frame and stood with folded arms: "Seriously, brother, are you in trouble?"

"No." I took out a pack of hand-rolled noodles, two eggs and a handful of green vegetables from the refrigerator, "Don't worry about it."

"When you graduated with a Ph.D., you were never in such a mess." Zou Haiyang clapped his hands, "I remember, when you broke up with Yan Ting, you got drunk all night, and you look like this now." He asked cautiously, "Yanting is back?"

"They have a second child, I'm so worried about it." I glanced at him, "Do you want to eat noodles or not? If you don't want to eat, just get out."

"Think about it." Zou Haiyang covered his mouth, "I won't guess."

I stood by the stove and waited for the water to boil. The moist white smoke pushed up the lid of the pot, and the sound changed from shrill to dull. After a while, the water boiled.I raised my hand and put in tomato cubes, scallions, ginger slices and a spoonful of pepper, beat two poached eggs, waited a while, and put the noodles.

I feel sad, obviously I have an ordinary life, a stable job, a small house for shelter from the wind and rain, a brother who cares about me, and a cat, what else can I not be satisfied with.

I want Ning Qing, but I can't ask for it. He has become an obsession in my heart. I seem to have to hold on to this thought so that I can not feel guilty. Any thought of exceeding the rules is a betrayal.

[In our profession, what we hope most is that something happens, and someone remembers us. 】

[What nonsense, nothing will happen. 】

【Life and death. 】

[Okay, okay, I will remember you. 】

I remember Ning Qing, engraved him in my blood.He was an anti-narcotics policeman, and he was buried in a barren land with a blank tombstone, and I was his gravekeeper.He is the clear lake water, the moonlight on the lake surface, and the shadow wrapped in my heart.I want to remember him more deeply and vividly than anyone else.

"Brother, the noodles are about to boil." Zou Haiyang said.

I hurriedly turned off the fire, put the noodles into a bowl, handed it to Zou Haiyang, and filled another bowl for myself.

After dinner, Zou Haiyang consciously went to wash the dishes, and I went into the bedroom to catch up on sleep.

Time is like a shuttle, and in the blink of an eye, it is the day when school starts in September.

Ning Hong seemed to disappear from the world, he didn't send messages, he didn't post on Moments, he didn't come to me, and the transfer funds including Ivan's food and clothing were also suspended.I thought he was going to quietly end this twisted relationship, and simply let it go. Fortunately, there was a slight emptiness in the next one, which should be due to the lack of blind adjustments in life.Ning Hong is not sweet candy, he is spicy millet, tastes very fragrant, swallowing it can make people cry.

And I'm a spicy person.

I stopped my calculation pen, rested my chin and glanced at the people in the office boredly. Seeing me looking up, Lao Kang cheerfully asked, "Xiao Zou, are you going to eat?"

"Okay." I closed the cap of my pen, "You don't have class this afternoon?"

"No." Kang Yanfeng said, "I want to eat coarse grain noodles, and my mouth is watering."

"Then eat coarse grain noodles." I stood up and walked out of the office with Kang Yanfeng.

When I came to the cafeteria, I ordered a bowl of crab stick coarse grain noodles, and Kang Yanfeng sat opposite me with a bowl of Flammulina velutipes coarse grain noodles.A TV is hung above the cafeteria, and the news is broadcast on the screen.I usually don't pay attention to the TV in the cafeteria when I eat, but today I even glanced at it by accident.

The weather forecast was shown on the TV, and the host said that thunderstorms and lightning were expected in two hours, and the take-off and landing of flights might be affected.

"It's cloudy today, so it's cool." Kang Yanfeng said.

Thunderstorms and Lightning... Affecting Flights?

I picked up the chopsticks and casually ate the noodles mouthful, wondering if Ning Hong was at work...

"Xiao Zou, have you read the recent news?" Kang Yanfeng chatted while eating, "A plane crashed by Air France yesterday, it seems to be because of a thunderstorm."

I shook my chopsticks and the crab sticks fell into the soup. I felt a little uneasy and said, "I'm full. I have something to do in the afternoon. Let's go first and see you tomorrow."

"Are you full?" Kang Yanfeng asked.

"Yeah." I picked up my phone and hurried out of the cafeteria, heading towards the subway station.

Swipe the card to enter the station, and switch from Line [-] to Line [-], towards Tianjin Binhai International Airport. It is not the morning and evening rush hours, and there are not many people in the carriages.I sat in my seat and reflected on my reckless behavior, what the hell I was doing.

I was like a stupefied young man who had just stepped into the society, so stupid that I was easily fooled by a piece of news and two words that Kang Yanfeng heard.The pilot schedule is flexible, maybe Ning Hong is sleeping soundly in the rental house, what use is it for me to go to the airport?

I opened WeChat, and the chat page with Ning Hong stopped on the night I went to the bar, I turned off the screen of my phone annoyed, and frowned.I've always been passive, whether it's Ning Qing or Ning Hong, they're the ones who came to talk to me and asked me to take the initiative to talk to them.

This is my big shortcoming. As Ning Qing said, I am an iron anchor, deeply stuck in the bottom of the sea, and no one can change the trajectory of my life. Between two o'clock and one line.I waited where I was, waiting for Ning Qing to come to me after finishing his mission, waiting for Ning Hong's whim to tease me, until Ning Qing's obituary, and Ning Hong's disappearance.

I kept waiting, but I didn't want to tell Ning Qing that I liked him, and told Ning Hong that I wanted him to stay.

"Tianjin Binhai International Airport has arrived, all passengers please get off."

The subway announced the name of the station, I stood up and stepped out of the car, swiped my card to get out of the station, and realized that I should bring a gift.Every time Ning Hong saw me, he would bring a gift with a sense of ceremony. It was really inappropriate for me to meet him empty-handed.

But I have already arrived at the airport, so I can't buy it in the airport store, so I might as well not bring it with me.I stood there in embarrassment, thinking about it, forget it, I said silently in my heart, let's go back, just pretend that my brain is flooded and stupid, no one saw it, it means this thing didn't happen.

"Ding dong." The door of the straight elevator in the distance opened, and Ning Hong and a group of flight attendants with exquisite makeup stepped out of the elevator, meeting my eyes.

Ning Hong's relaxed expression froze, and he stared at me blankly: "You..."

"I'm here to pick up my friends." I said nonsense.

He said to the fellow flight attendants: "You go first, I will deal with some private matters."

The flight attendants smiled and waved to him, and walked towards the subway entrance.

I went to the elevator and pressed the up button, Ning Hong asked, "Which floor are you going to?"

"Second floor." I said.

"You should go to the third floor to pick up your friends." Ning Hong said, "The third floor is the international arrival hall."