Qinghong

Ning Hong went upstairs after smoking, and the first question he asked when he sat down: "Why didn't you tell my brother that you like him?"

I looked at him in surprise: "Why are you asking this?" Ning Hong once said that I would not be allowed to mention Ning Qing in front of him, but what did he mean when he said it rashly.

"I want to know." Ning Hong said.

"Your brother is..." I pondered over my words, "He's a bit stubborn. If I tell him directly that he doesn't have such thoughts, we won't be able to be friends in the future."

"So don't tell me." Ning Hong said.

I nodded, "Yeah."

"Then if... I mean, if, for example, you like me, would you say it?" Ning Hong asked.

I was disturbed by his look, I lowered my head and picked up a piece of spaghetti: "There is no if."

Ning Hong frowned: "Can't I even get a hypothesis?"

"You know I don't mean that," I said, "Can you eat properly?"

Ning Hong was holding a fire in his heart, as if he didn't want to vent his discomfort, looking at him, I lost the desire to eat: "I don't want to eat, I'm leaving."

"Zou Lansheng." Ning Hong said, "Do you have a little idea of ​​liking me?"

"What did we say when we were in Kanas?" I don't like being forced to ask, even though I have him in my heart, I couldn't find the words to explain it, so I simply stood up and left.

Ning Hong grabbed me: "I want to know if there is someone who you can say you like without hesitation, is there?"

"Maybe." I said, "but not now." I didn't want to get entangled with him. Mentioning Ning Qing made me think of many things. It makes me feel guilty.

I am slowly forgetting Ning Qing, like a snake shedding a layer of skin, I leave Ning Qing behind, as if I never loved him.

I promised him that I would remember him. Because of his profession, I didn't keep a photo of him. Looking back carefully, I can't remember Ning Qing's face except for his eyes.I have felt countless times that Ning Qing and Ning Hong look alike, the only difference is their eyes.Ning Qing's eyes are as wide as Haihe River, when he looked at me, he was quiet and tolerant, while Ning Hong's eyes were sly and bright, with emotions written on them.

I looked down at Ning Hong, and couldn't help but laugh. How did I recognize Ning Hong as Ning Qing? The two were clearly made of two molds, and two souls came out of the same outline.The more this is the case, the more sad it is for me. I want to remember Ning Qing, and I want to live my life. There is no reason to weigh the two.

Ning Hong looked embarrassed, he let go of my hand, picked up the chopsticks and ate with his head down.

Seeing that he didn't intend to keep me, I went downstairs to check out and leave.I stood on the side of the road and took a taxi. I looked back at the window on the second floor. Ning Hong was sitting there, motionless, like a statue.

Back at school, I continued to read the math journals I hadn’t finished in the morning, when the phone rang and the screen showed that it was my mother.

"Hi, Mom." I picked up the phone.

"What's wrong with Xiaoyang?" My mother said in a flustered voice, "I heard from his teacher that he was hospitalized."

"Yeah." I covered it up for him, "Small injury, I went to see it, don't worry."

"Just go and see it." My mother said, "We are so far away, what should we do if something happens to Xiaoyang..."

I frowned, and suppressed my temper to deal with her: "Don't worry, I'll take care of him."

"Yes, yes, you two are brothers, you have to take care of each other." My mother said.

Take care of each other?If Zou Haiyang didn't piss me off, it's a virtue, I replied vaguely, "Yeah."

My mother hung up the phone after muttering a few words, I rubbed the center of my eyebrows, and called Zou Haiyang: "Hello, Haiyang."

"Brother." Zou Haiyang's voice was full of vitality, it didn't sound like a bedridden patient, "What's the matter?"

"Are you in the hospital?" I asked suspiciously.

"It's in the hospital." Zou Haiyang said, a piece of apple was stuffed into his mouth suddenly, and he thanked repeatedly, "Thank you, junior."

"..." I rubbed my forehead, "It's only been a few days, are there two days? Why did you get another one?"

"Brother, what do you mean by getting involved? Can you, a professor, be more polite in your words." Zou Haiyang said, "It's my direct school girl. She heard that I was injured and came to take care of me. There is no other meaning."

This is already very interesting, okay, I fed the dog all the little worries I quietly raised: "Okay, when the time comes, you call mom to report that you are safe, and put it down."

"Okay, goodbye, brother." Zou Haiyang said briskly.

I hung up the phone and read the book for a while, and I couldn't read it when my mind was disturbed. My head was full of Ning Hong's stubborn and unyielding eyes. He always compared himself with Ning Qing.

I realized a little bit in my heart, yes, Ning Hong always compares himself with Ning Qing, as if I am some kind of trophy.

I like Ning Qing unspokenly, Ning Hong wants it, it seems like this, he can overwhelm the dead Ning Qing.

I know that there is no pure love in the world. For example, the reason I like Ning Qing is that he often comes to hang out with me. We go mountain climbing, go to resorts, go boating, go to the park to listen to cross talk, watch the old man play chess, he decorates me A boring life.He said that smoking in the rain is a pleasure, and the two of us huddled side by side under the eaves, you and I finished a cigarette in one gulp, I cherish this scene in my heart as proof that Ning Qing likes me.

Even though he never said it, he said we were best friends forever.

That's where our relationship ended, and I didn't get a single piece of him until he died.These grievances, the disappointment that cannot be expected, are projected on Ning Hong intact, is this fair?

I closed the book and raised my eyes. Ning Hong was standing at the door of the office with a box of mooncakes. I looked at him: "Why do you..."

"I shouldn't mention my brother." Ning Hong said, "I can't control myself, I always want to compare with my brother. What I said in Kanas is false." He smiled wryly, "I think we You all need to calm down."

calm down?I looked at him: "You mean to end this relationship."

"Yes." Ning Hong said, "I need time to think about it seriously."

"Okay." I nodded, "It's up to you."

Ning Hong looked around the office and found that there was no one else but me. He closed the office door with his backhand, pushed me against the wall, and asked me viciously, "Can you take the initiative?"

"You want the beginning, you want the end." I said, "What more do you want?"

"I want you to keep me." Ning Hong said, "Can you keep me." He hugged me, rubbing his head against my neck, a little itchy, his canine teeth were sharp, biting my shoulder.

"Hiss... let go." I pushed him, but didn't push, "Ning Hong, you are not a child anymore."

"So?" Ning Hong muttered softly.

"So it's no use rolling around," I said.

I was also in a state of uneasiness, the messy emotions were tangled up in my mind and I couldn't figure it out. The ending proposed by Ning Hong was also a kind of relief for me.I can't see the future, and I don't know the actual meaning of our relationship. It's better to let go and make both of us feel better.

"Go out and try new possibilities." I said, "It may be much better than mine, at least it won't make you miserable."

"Mr. Zou, you are talking about breaking up calmly." Ning Hong said.

"We haven't started, so why break up." I said.

Ning Hong took two steps back, his emotions were already calm, his pupils were quiet, and his brows raised a little ironically: "Okay, since I'm leaving, I have something for you."

"What?" I asked, feeling bad.

Ning Hong said, "My brother's suicide note."

Ning Qing has a suicide note?My throat was hard: "Ning Qing's, you, why didn't you give it to me earlier?"

Ning Hong said, "You'll know it when you see it." He put the mooncake bag on my desk, and Shi Shi ran away, "I didn't mean to lie to you."

But I was furious: "Didn't you mean it? You just lied to me." I watched him step out of the office and slam the door shut.

He suddenly turned around and pushed against the door, with great strength, he squeezed in through the crack of the door, grabbed my collar, and said through gritted teeth: "If I want to lie to you, you have already been abducted to Vietnam to farm."

"Fart, give me Ning Qing's things." I held his shoulders, and the two were about to wrestle.

Ning Hong smiled strangely, and he leaned into my ear: "Okay, you can sleep with me."

I recognized that Ning Hong deserved a beating, and was about to scold him to get out, Xia Xianxian led Xiao Ke to push open the half-closed door of the office, and looked at us with a surprised expression: "Teacher Zou..."

"Go away." I pushed Ning Hong aside angrily, and looked at Xia Xianxian, "What's the matter?"

Xia Xianxian backed away in embarrassment: "I'm sorry teacher, we should have knocked on the door."

"Yes, what if your teacher doesn't do something good." Ning Hong chimed in.

I ignored him and said to Xia Xianxian, "Ask a question?"

"Yes." Xia Xianxian nodded.

"Wait a minute," I said, "ten minutes."

"Okay." Xia Xianxian and Xiao Ke went out and closed the door intimately.

Ning Hong asked with a smile: "Why, Teacher Zou is going to fuck me here? Isn't 10 minutes a bit short?"