kiss goodnight

Jiang Yi'an leaned against the door with his back, silently stood in the entrance for a few minutes, changed his shoes, turned on the light, and threw the keys on the coffee table.The space in the house is small, with a single layout and simple furnishings. It is a single room.

He walked into the bathroom, turned on the faucet to listen to the sound of running water, and his mood gradually calmed down.The shattered mirror cut his face in the middle, and Jiang Yi'an looked at himself in the mirror, with strangeness and disgust in his eyes.

The cold tap water flushed his fingers red, and the tingling relieved the pressure in his heart. He rolled the soap in his palm several times. Jiang Yi'an washed his hands, wiped them with the towel on the hook, and turned back to the living room.

Seconds later, he came back with a pair of scissors.

Jiang Yi'an looked at his too long hair, black as a crow's feather, messy and disturbed.There is a barber shop at the gate of the community, and he dare not go there or appear in the public eye, and masks and hats cannot bring him absolute peace of mind.He silently tried to bear it, but failed, so he grabbed the end of his hair and stabbed down without hesitation, neatly and happily.

With uneven length and hair falling all over his body, Jiang Yi'an's eyes flickered, his movements were slightly stagnant, he suddenly raised his left hand uncontrollably, stared at the three dark red scars, and restrained himself the moment the sharp metal touched his skin. Throw away the scissors.

In the kitchen, there were unpacked instant noodles, and the seasoning packet was thrown on the stove. Jiang Yi'an forgot why he delayed eating.He reheated the water in the pot, poured it into a paper bowl and pressed the lid of the pot, took two steps back, leaning against the dusty brick wall with his back, crossed his arms and looked out of the dark window, waiting patiently.

In the darkness, something lurks dormant.Jiang Yi'an's consciousness drifted far away, and in a trance, he saw his once enthusiastic self, standing under the spotlight and sweating, talking to the world he loves through voice and microphone, embracing flowers and applause.

But now, the brilliance and glory he once had had long been turned into futile illusions. He fell from the altar to the swamp, and it took only a week for as short as it was.The overwhelming abuse and slander, the praise worth a thousand words, Jiang Yi'an didn't understand until his head was broken, that sincerity is fickle, beautiful and fragile, nothing can last forever.

The extremely depressed mood caused acid reflux in his stomach again. After the noodles were soaked, Jiang Yi'an forced himself to pick up the bowl, and just after taking a sip of hot soup, the overwhelming nausea made him angrily dunk the paper bowl into the sink. After vomiting several times, he rinsed his mouth carelessly with tap water.

He also wants to live like a normal person.

Jiang Yi'an returned to the living room, nestling on the sofa like a lifeless walking dead.The moonlight dripped silvery white all over the ground in front of the window. He watched and remained silent, but inside his body he let the pain he suffered pull him to sink continuously. The feeling of suffocation was as if the high tide of sea water filled the top of his head. He drowned. Longing to breathe.

I don't know when, he lost his joy, only sad.

Jiang Yi'an slid into the gap between the sofa and the coffee table, curled up, hugged his knees and stared at the staff paper in front of him.In the past two months, he has been unable to write a song. The broken pencil, the rough corner of the paper, and the blacked-out notes are stained with tears. To flatten it out, try to restore it to its original shape.

Repeating the movement numbly, Jiang Yi'an clenched the paper tightly in his hand, crumpled it into a ball as if venting his anger, and threw it anywhere, as long as it didn't appear in front of his eyes again.

Even though his consciousness is muddled, he still clearly understands one thing.Music is everything to him, and the only support for him to survive, if he discards even this...

Jiang Yi'an blocked the sound of the outside world with his arms.He buried his face, covered his ears, deeply hid his sight and hearing under his arms, and murmured intermittently in despair between his lips and teeth: "Help me."

Jiang Yi'an sobbed: "Someone come and save me."

The iron fence door squeaked, and the noise cut through the night. Wen Ke nodded to greet the security guard on duty, and led his men back to the dormitory.After instructing Duan Yang to settle down Han Xiaojun, who had already been unconscious, Wen Ke went straight upstairs, took off his windbreaker, walked into his room, and closed the door behind his back.

The dormitory area is very small, the team members share a room with four people, and Wen Ke lives alone.Sometimes Yang complained that his roommate was snoring and grinding his teeth, and the child was a light sleeper. He hugged his pillow and rubbed against Wen Ke's room every three days, so there was always a camp bed by the wall.

With the air conditioner turned on, Wen Ke took off his shirt and put on a black vest as pajamas.After washing, someone knocked on the door, Wen Ke responded, he didn't lock it, and saw a head of curly hair poking in through the lightly opened door, followed by a baby face with a childish smile.

"Boss." Duan Yang rushed in carrying a pillow, "Let me borrow a place."

Wen Ke didn't speak, and tapped the camp bed with his chin: "The quilt is in the cabinet."

Duan Yang cleaned up his busy work, Wen Ke leaned against the head of the bed, with one hand behind his back, and his long overlapping legs resting on the edge of the bed.Every night before falling asleep, he always listens to two songs. He takes out his mobile phone, clicks on local music, selects an album, and there is a line of small gray characters written under the catalog name, Jiang Yian-Mage Band.

Wen Ke chose the song "Wandering", pushed the bluetooth headset into the cochlea, and the blue light circle shone faintly in the dark.He raised his eyes and looked out the window. The bare tree trunk standing in front of the building divided the starry night into several fragments. After staring for a long time, his eyes lost focus, and he suddenly remembered the scene under the street lamp just now.

Jiang Yi'an who left the stage was lonely, even a little dispirited and embarrassed, with a calm and forbearing and pitiful appearance.When they looked at each other, there was clearly some desire in the eyes, but it was hidden too deeply for Wen Ke to distinguish clearly.

Unknowingly, I went through the songs in the album again, and in my peripheral vision, something was agitating back and forth.Wen Ke looked at the camp bed in front of the table, took off his earphones and called out, "Duan Yang."

Duan Yang's response was dull: "Oh, boss."

Sensing Duan Yang's emotions, Wen Ke softened his tone: "Can't sleep?"

"Yeah." Duan Yang wrapped himself into a ball, only revealing a small head, his hair like a chicken coop was frizzy.He sat up cross-legged, his eyes were red, with a slight nasal sound when he inhaled, "I miss my brother."

Duan Yang's brother is also a traffic policeman who belongs to the traffic police detachment of Jingnan City. During an emergency mission, he had an accident in order to intercept a truck carrying illegal/prohibited/goods.At that time, Duan Yang had just entered the police academy. He didn’t even have time to change his shoes when he received the news. He put on a padded jacket over his pajamas and ran out, kneeling on the frozen icy road, crying bitterly while hugging an unrecognizable corpse.

Wen Ke remained silent. He witnessed the whole process at the scene, and he couldn't empathize with the heart-wrenching pain, and he didn't know how to comfort him at this moment.Duan Yang was allowed to mutter and whine for a while, the other party stopped, sniffed and glanced at the shiny thing in Wen Ke's hand, and muttered: "Boss, are you listening to music again?"

Wen Ke looked at him: "Yes."

Duan Yang: "I want to hear it too."

Wen Ke smiled: "After listening to it, you will want to cry even more."

Duan Yang didn't believe it. He took an earphone thrown by Wen Ke, put it in his ear for half a minute, and started whining again.The clear voice sang "Dream tonight, I meet you, I hope we will be lucky in the future", the voice is lingering, like the snow in the early winter outside the window, falling into my heart one after another.

Duan Yang let out a "wow": "Who sings so damn well, boss, I want to fan him!"

Wen Ke didn't answer, but bent the corners of his eyes and slid his body down a few centimeters, covered the quilt, and slowly closed his eyes amidst Jiang Yi'an's gentle singing.

The author says:

Thanks for reading.