[full-time master] immortal

Su Muqiu looked away from the computer screen and looked at the young woman behind him.She sat on the sofa hugging the cushions, but fell asleep with her head tilted.She didn't close the curtains, so the city lights outside the window gently illuminated half of her face.

Xiaoqing's computer is out of battery, and he doesn't want to watch the video of the game anymore.Not because I don't like it, but because I'm sad.While watching the video just now, he tried hard to chew and digest the cruel fact that he had turned into a ghost.This gorgeous and colorful world used to be his hometown, but now it has turned into an unreachable other place overnight.Just a moment of dazzlement, he has become a blue ghost, and the familiar people have also turned into strange appearances seven years later.

Across the boundary between life and death, he gazed at the noise and prosperity of the world from a distance.The wind continued to blow, and the moon continued to round, but all of this had nothing to do with him.

He approached Xiaoqing and squatted down beside her.With the help of the moonlight and lamp, he began to stare at her face carefully.Just now, he saw Ye Xiu and Mucheng in the video.It was because they couldn't see him that he could gaze straight at them and make out how they had changed over the years.However, Xiaoqing is different from them.Only when she was asleep, could he calm down and look at her intently.

Pretty.

Sure enough, she was seven years older.The young girl's childishness has dropped a lot, and the lines on her face have become a bit harsher.If you still use snow as a comparison, then she is the thin snow that has just covered the green hills, with some innocence and pride; but now she has become the snow that never melts all year round, empty and lonely, without echoes.

She grew her hair long again.When Su Muqiu first met her, she was still wearing a messy ponytail. Su Muqiu couldn't see it, and even often helped her remove the ponytail and reorganize it.Later, when she was about fifteen or sixteen years old, she suddenly cut her long hair short, and then never grew it long again.He still remembered that Xiaoqing with short hair was carrying a suitcase, and she appeared in front of his eyes, shining like a small-scale miracle.The short-haired Xiaoqing was also very beautiful in Su Muqiu's eyes, but because of the young man's shyness, he didn't dare to look up at her, hurriedly took a few mouthfuls of food, and then went out to the Internet cafe to find Ye Xiu.It was only later that Mucheng told him that Xiaoqing was a little disappointed by his reaction.

He suddenly felt amused.When they were young, they each harbored so many secrets, but they all lied to each other because of their self-esteem and shyness.Young people are always like this, thinking that there will be a long time to come, life is endless, and there will always be opportunities to express affection to the people in their hearts.As everyone knows, there is only a thin line between man and nature, and there is not even a second of room for regret.

Xiaoqing, who has grown up in front of her eyes, has long hair hanging loose, and a few locks are tangled together and tied in knots.This Xiaoqing has grown up so much, and she is still as frizzy as she was when she was a child.Su Muqiu subconsciously stretched out his hand, wanting to help her untangle her hair, but his fingers ran through her hair unexpectedly.There was a moment of stupefaction, and then depression spread like flooding water.

He couldn't even help her with such simple things.

When she fell asleep, she was still frowning, and she was very absorbed in her dreams.Su Muqiu read a bit of solemnity from her sleeping face, and didn't know what kind of dream she fell into.

He turned his eyes away from Xiaoqing and began to look around.For Xiaoqing who lives alone, this is a house that is too spacious.His eyes flicked across the LCD TV, the textbooks on the coffee table, and a few pairs of high-heeled women's shoes on the shoe cabinet, trying to identify the traces of Xiaoqing from these ordinary items.Before she appeared, Xiaoqing seemed to be using a laptop to prepare lessons, with books, notes, and lecturers spread out on the coffee table.The title reads: Seeking the true meaning of society.He spent some time studying these texts.The declarative sentences printed in the textbooks are hard to understand, but the examples written by Xiaoqing are vivid and interesting.The girl who was earnest and articulate at the beginning really became a teacher.He imagined the 26-year-old Xiaoqing with her long hair coiled up, well-dressed, stepping on high-heeled shoes, stepping into the classroom, smiling at the students in the classroom.As for himself in his imagination, he was wearing his high school uniform, sitting in a sunny classroom full of enthusiasm, looking up at the young teacher on the podium, his eyes sparkling.

——That was the youth that never belonged to him.

The living room was almost studied by him, but he was unwilling to break into Xiaoqing's bedroom without consent.So, he was free and could only sit on the sofa next to Xiaoqing, staring at the wall clock on the TV for a long time in a daze, waiting quietly for the passage of time.It turns out that the time after death is so barren.He opened his eyes and watched the second hand crawl slowly one frame at a time.A desert seemed to grow in his heart.

He knew what he wanted to find—he almost masochistically wanted to find some evidence of her happy life in Xiaoqing's room.Maybe it was a man, maybe it was something else.However, he also knew that he was actually afraid of such evidence.Even if it turned into a wisp of ghost, his heart is still a human heart, and the human heart has its own subtleties, which are inconceivable, indescribable, and incomprehensible.

In order to resolve this speechless time, Su Muqiu decided to recall some past events.

Ye Xiu was the first to see his feelings for Xiao Qing.He thinks this is normal, he, Mucheng and Xiaoqing are all involved in the game, and Ye Xiu is a foreign force, so it is natural for a bystander to see everything clearly and transparently.That day they sent Xiaoqing to Hangzhou East Railway Station, and after watching her board the car and leave, Ye Xiu took out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, and lighted one with an unfamiliar gesture.He raised the pack of cigarettes in Su Muqiu's surprised eyes and asked him, "One?"

"I don't smoke. When did you learn this thing?" Su Muqiu remembered that Xiaoqing complained that Grandpa Gu always liked to smoke, which meant that she didn't like it.Besides, even if Xiaoqing is not considered, as an elder brother, Su Muqiu is not willing to give Mucheng a bad head.

Ye Xiu exhaled a smoke ring pretending to be old-fashioned: "Brother Zhu."

It's the buddy in the Internet cafe who always loves to boo.He will teach children badly all day long, Su Muqiu decided to remind Mucheng to stay away from this person in the future.

"No, Mu Qiu, I said, you like Gu Xihua a lot, don't you?"

"Huh?" Unprepared, Su Muqiu was hit by this question.He didn't even know how Ye Xiu jumped from the topic of Brother Zhu in the Internet cafe to his own relationship problems.Before his reason could react, his body had already nodded honestly.

Ye Xiu showed some unexpected smug expressions.

Su Muqiu felt a little hot on his face, and punched him with his fist: "Don't talk nonsense to Xiaoqing and Mucheng later."

"Why do I call it nonsense when I tell the truth? Why don't you tell others?" Perhaps because he thought Su Muqiu's reaction was too funny, Ye Xiu crossed his arms and decided to tease him.

"...You mind your own business."

"Yo, that's fine. Hey Su Muqiu, I remember Gu Xihua's phone number, 1358..."

"Stop, stop, stop, let me tell you." Su Muqiu snatched the cigarette from Ye Xiu's mouth, and the burning cigarette butt almost burned his fingers.He hurriedly took the cigarette out of his hand, and after only smoking a small half of the cigarette, he fell freely to the ground.

Although Ye Xiu wasted a good cigarette, he got Su Muqiu's heart-to-heart self-analysis all the way back.Su Muqiu realized that this kindling had been buried in his heart for so many years, and it was the first time that it had been turned into words and words, and it was poured out to another person without reservation.

After so many years, his feelings for Xiaoqing have never changed.She is still the wind and moon, snow and flowers in his heart, the most splendid sunset in the sky.However, in these years, in front of Xiao Qing, he felt ashamed of himself.He was still a helpless orphan in the orphanage, he entered the world early, he was ups and downs and running around in the rivers and lakes for his younger sister, and he lived his youth like an oil lamp in the smoky Internet cafes and virtual world, not knowing where tomorrow will be. where.However, Xiaoqing is no longer the Xiaoqing she was back then. She has become Gu Xihua, gained a precious family and a suitable life.He always imagined Xiaoqing wearing a navy blue school uniform and suit, running lightly into the campus.He had searched the school she was admitted to on Baidu. The teaching building was a clean white ring-shaped building with a sky-blue spire clock tower towering towards the sky, and the fountain in the central square sprinkled rainbows.In the clean and bright classroom, she either buried her head in her textbooks, or was in a daze, it was fine, whatever was fine, and no matter what, she would not have let down her once-in-a-lifetime youth.The life she is living in now is the best future that the aunts in the orphanage have described for the children, and it is also the radiant future that Su Muqiu once wanted to take her to.Her life is so brilliant, but in comparison, everything he can give is so bleak, full of accidents and variables.

Even when walking side by side, he was afraid that his gloom would dirty her light.

He didn't want to be the shadow of her bright future.

Xiaoqing might want to be his sister and needs his love and protection, but Gu Xihua has everything, so she doesn't need him at all.Su Muqiu lowered his eyes and smiled wryly.He actually didn't want to call Xiaoqing Gu Xihua, because this name symbolized too much separation and rift between them.

"But have you asked her?" Ye Xiu pointed out the crux of the problem with a second cigarette in his mouth, "What if she is willing?"

But he doesn't want to.Su Muqiu smiled at Ye Xiu, with a self-deprecating smile.He didn't say that sentence, because it was like a babble in a third-rate romance novel.

"She said before that she just wanted to be my sister."

When Ye Xiu heard this, he rolled his eyes angrily and amusedly: "Brother, how old was she at that time? What if she was just joking around when she didn't know anything? We have to stand in the moment. I'll just say it, I think Now she is very interesting to you, otherwise, why would people come to Hangzhou every year to look for you, doing charity?"

Ye Xiu's words made his heart tremble.After a slight silence, he said a little shyly, "I think... I'll ask her after I've figured out something."

"How old is that? By then her daughter will be able to call you uncle."

"……roll!"

After opening his heart to Ye Xiu, Su Muqiu really had some thin hope in his heart.He actually understood more or less, vaguely.However, he also knew that now was not the time to confess everything to Xiaoqing.Xiaoqing has just finished her senior high school entrance examination and has entered an excellent high school as she wished. What awaits her is another three years full of struggles.But he was poor and empty-handed, and he didn't want to bother her at this juncture of his life.

So, the matter was put on hold.

2015 is the year that all wishes come true.Su Muqiu and Ye Xiu signed a contract to join the Excellent Era Club, and Xiao Qing was admitted to a university in Hangzhou.The long darkness, the distant parting, seems to have come to an end.He was almost convinced that he and Ye Xiu would be the most perfect partners in the Glory League, and they would definitely win the championship trophy.When he's a champion, he's no longer an orphan stumbling across the streets on New Year's Eve.He also had a little light of his own, which was enough to illuminate Xiaoqing, and seemed to be able to illuminate Gu Xihua.That night, they went to the food stall at the street corner for supper with a carnival mood.He and Xiaoqing both drank some wine and got drunk, their faces were flushed a little.He stared at Xiaoqing, and saw that her eyes were as bright as the stars in the cold night, shining brightly.She and Mucheng sang the love song written by Jay Chou, and he also hummed softly.His chest felt hot, and he suddenly felt that this moment was so perfect that it was unbelievable. He had the courage to grab her hand after they finished singing the chorus and express everything in his heart.

However, before he had time to speak, Ye Xiu interrupted him with a smile.The ignorant boy lit a cigarette with trembling hands, and kept saying "don't sing, don't sing, don't sing, don't sing, you sing "Sunny Sky" and "Qilixiang" are so vulgar.He grabbed Su Muqiu's neck and said: "Last year, Jay Chou just released a new song, which was specially tailored for us, Su Muqiu. Come on, I'll perform it for everyone." After finishing speaking, he raised his voice Sing "What kind of man".

Su Muqiu's rising courage was suddenly extinguished.The young man's courage came and went in such a hurry, he couldn't even blame Ye Xiu, because he almost knew - even if Ye Xiu didn't come to disrupt the situation, he would have missed this opportunity for nothing.With a blushing face, he pushed Ye Xiu away, jokingly assuming he wanted to fight him.

What kind of man is he.

When carrying the drunken Ye Xiu home, Xiaoqing and Mucheng walked in front of them holding hands, their shadows stretched very long by the bright white streetlights.He staggered and dragged Ye Xiu forward, but his eyes followed the two girls closely.Those were the two girls who meant the most to him.He thought about it until he fell unconscious on the bed.One, is my sister; one, I don't want to treat her as my sister anymore...

He originally confessed that he wanted to win the championship.

Of course, Su Muqiu also knew his nature: even if he really won the championship, he would still feel that he was not good enough, and he would always postpone it until the next time, when he always felt that he had achieved a greater achievement, before speaking to her.

Indeed, it was no wonder that Ye Xiu scolded him, even he looked down on him.A person who is so radiant in Glory is never discouraged even if he fails, at worst, he will start all over again, how come Xiaoqing is involved, and he is only timid and apprehensive?

This question is actually not difficult to figure out.In the virtual world piled up with binary codes, his heart is always safe and secure.He flicked his finger, and the cannon fire filled the sky was ignited by him.Qiu Musu is a thunderous name, a sharp gun that seems to be able to control everything.However, when Qiu Musu stepped out of the screen and returned to reality, the light in his whole body dimmed, and Su Muqiu became that unknown person again.He can see all the loopholes in the game, but he can't stop his life from getting out of control.

Su Muqiu envied Qiu Musu, he also wanted to become Qiu Musu in reality, stand out, no longer an unknown person, have his own brilliance, and have the ability to control his own life.In this way, he seems to have the strength to protect his lover.

Ye Xiu asked him, what if he hadn't achieved his so-called reputation yet, Gu Xihua became more attractive at the Z University, and he found a boyfriend?

He remembered smiling--a very light smile--and saying, "It's a good thing for her."

If that was the case, then he would forget all of this, be her good brother, be a good uncle to her children, and spend the rest of his life praying for her happiness.Her name is Xiaoqing, and she is also called Xihua. She belongs to the glorious spring and the passionate summer. Her world will not and should not have a desolate autumn full of dead leaves.

And now, he had to think and do this even more.

He has no chance to stand out anymore, and he has no chance to become a person who is worthy of Xiaoqing in his heart.He is a name no one knows, he is a piece of loess and bones, he is a ghost with a human heart.

Mourning, obsessed, helpless.

He will never have light again.

He tilted his head and lowered his eyes, staring at Xiaoqing's lightly sleeping face.Her eyelashes drooped, her lips fluttered slightly, her expression was solemn and peaceful.His heart trembled slightly, with a trace of hopeless calm.He already knew clearly that this girl had never belonged to him and would never belong to him.In the past, he was indulged in his own emotions, hesitated, but never thought of asking her sincerity.But now, everything has been overwhelmed.This world is safe and sound, the wind continues to blow, the moon continues to be full, only his bleak soul is still wandering in this world for a long time, unable to bear to leave.

He leaned down slowly, holding back the great anxiety and guilt in his heart, carefully, as if afraid of disturbing her, and piously placed a kiss on her forehead.It was a clear, empty, empty kiss, a kiss that cannot be defined by the world.Even he himself is not sure whether this kiss belongs to his brother, his lover, or a ghost that has gone away.

The only thing he knew was that when he raised his body, the still undestroyed human heart was immediately swallowed up by guilt, anxiety and regret.The calm was gone, and he was left with despair.He felt that he had become a villain with a heavy crime.

He doesn't like to cry.When he was kicked out of the orphanage, when the meaning of the Myriad Chance Umbrella was obliterated, even when Xiaoqing told him of his death just now, he didn't cry.

But, why, at that moment, he lowered his head, clasped his chest with his hands, and burst out a wordless cry of grief from the deepest part of his chest, as if the world fell apart in an instant and could no longer be put together again.

Tears welled up in my eyes.He closed his eyes, and a tear fell into the corner of her eye.

A tear from a ghost turned into a snow in her dream.

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The author has something to say: "The wind continues to blow / I can't bear to stay away / I also have tears in my heart / I don't want to look at you with tears"

Ugh……

I just received my master's thesis revision comments. I guess I will spend my time revising the thesis tonight and tomorrow. Hurry up and update it first.

Brother Umbrella's two episodes are very clearly positioned, one before his death and one after his death.

There is nothing more to say, I have written this article very tearfully.Post a section of my sister's reading repo for everyone to be happy↓ (read the first half) "Yes, Ye Xiu, thank you for showing up with my mouth."

(read to the middle) "...? Ye Xiu, you are the best brother in the world (vomit blood)"

(read all) "Miss Shui, didn't you say this is HE?"

Ms. Shui herself: Huh?Did I say that?I only said that the last three articles are HE, but I didn’t say that this article is (sweating)

Anyway, I hope I survive the pre-defense next Tuesday... The next chapter will be Ye Shen’s episode, the little God of Fighting will heal all your unhappiness√