surface light

——My whole life is only enough to love one person——

That night, Xu Ziqin spent the darkest, most disintegrated, and most calm moment in his 18 years.

In the living room on the first floor, without Xu Ziqin by their side, Qin Li and Fu Sheng completely let themselves go, vented their grievances, scolded each other loudly, and the voices shook the sky. Hug yourself like a life-saving straw.

He didn't know whom to trust instinctively.

He seems to have fallen into a huge fog vortex at this moment, and in the setting of this game, Qin Li is not only a gentle and kind grandfather who cared for him since he was a child, who can watch anime and play games with him in his arms, but also a grandfather who can watch A murderer with a broken family.

It was all a well-orchestrated scam, he was bluffed around, and his brother's life had to pay for the mistakes Qin Li made himself.

Xu Ziqin didn't know how to face his brother.

Although this is a choice between Qin Li and Xu Shangwan, it doesn't matter if it's fair or unfair to anyone.But has anyone asked him what he thinks?Ask his brother what he thinks?

From birth, Bai was labeled as having no father, lacking paternal love, and even deeply buried seeds of hatred.

If...he knew that Xu Shangwan made this choice for his life, what would he do?

Since he was a child, he felt that Xu Shangwan was a heartless and unjust heartbreaker, and that the heartbreaker turned into a good person, would he accept it?

How will he feel?

anger?remorse?Or keep silent as always?

Holding the phone, Xu Ziqin pressed his contact information several times, but he couldn't make up his mind.

Yes, Bai Jiang did tell him personally that this is an adult's business and has nothing to do with them, so don't think too much about it.

But what?so what?

I have lived such a long life as a young master, and it was his father who paid for it with his life.Can he accept it?

And what are you?Why beg for his forgiveness openly?Just because he likes himself, can he be pampered?

Fu Annan and Qin Yang didn't even get married, yet he recognized Xu Shangwan as his father for 18 years.

Faintly, the clock downstairs struck 21.The quarrel did not know when it calmed down. Xu Ziqin had hundreds of missed calls on his mobile phone, but he didn't care to answer them.

He calmly opened the WeChat at the bottom of Baijiang, and his nickname had changed from "Dabai" to "Brother".

After thinking for a moment, he sent a voice message: "Brother, I want...to see you, do you have time?"

"If I don't have time, I can find you."

After 3 minutes, there was no reply from the other party.

He started to panic.

Since he already knew about this matter, then his brother should also know about it.After returning to Suzhou, he did not receive a call from his brother for several days. Even the most intimate and crooked WeChat messages on weekdays were perfunctory "good morning" and "good night" every day. Pass.

At first he didn't think about it that much. One was that he was physically and mentally exhausted after returning from Suzhou, and he was reluctant to even go downstairs. He subconsciously used the thinking of a young master to conclude that Bai Jiang was the same as him.

Now, the more I think about it, the more I feel something is wrong...

He changed into a crisp night running suit and went downstairs.

Fu Annan and Fu Sheng had already left, only Qin Li and Qin Yang sat on the sofa without saying a word, Qin Yang drank tea silently, and Qin Li checked the local news with his mobile phone.

When Song Yunyun got hot water from the bathroom to soak Qin Li's feet, she met Xu Ziqin who was going upstairs.

"Xiao Qin..." Song Yunyun called out in a low voice.

Qin Li and Qin Yuan looked up at the same time.

"Are you hungry?" Qin Yang asked.

"I... asked Xiao Sun to get you something to eat?" Qin Li asked nervously.

Xu Ziqin's calm and gentle eyes swept past their eyes, then walked to the entrance, lowered his head to change his sneakers, and went into the elevator without looking back.

Outside the Bishuiwan community, cicadas were singing everywhere in the midsummer night, making it very noisy.

After Xu Ziqin hurriedly scanned the shared bicycles, she looked down at her mobile phone every 2 minutes, falling into anxious and long panic waiting.

The little yellow car stopped suddenly at the entrance of Huangbeizi Alley, and Xu Ziqin was caught in a dilemma.

He had ambiguous memories of the address of Bai Jiang's house. The old streets and alleys were winding and criss-crossing, and it was dark today.

After thinking about it, he entered text under Dou Jingzhe's WeChat typing column.

[Scutellaria: Are you at home?I'm here at the entrance of Huangbeizi Lane, can you give me a ride? 】

Before the message was sent, a phone was plugged in to call in, but it was still an unknown call.

When he was sulking in the room, there were countless known and unknown calls on his mobile phone, and the one with the most unknown calls knew Fu Sheng without guessing.

But Xu Ziqin had a hunch that this number was not his.

For a moment, the idea of ​​Fu Sheng using his connections to call himself with a different number flashed through his mind, but Xu Ziqin suppressed it.

At this time, he clearly knew that he would not answer the phone. If he still tried his best to keep calling, it would only lower his favorability.

Fu Sheng made a big fuss in Bishui Bay today, all because he wanted to fight for his custody.

Xu Ziqin is now an adult, whether to go or stay depends on his wishes.Since Fu Sheng can sit in the top management of Jinqin Finance by himself, he must understand the truth that the tighter the sand is held, the faster it will flow.

There was a familiar and refreshing voice on the other end of the phone: "Xiaoqin...can I see you?"

Aunt Bailu?

The location of Bai Luyue is a convenience store in a residential area not far from Huangbeizi Lane, which can be reached in 5 minutes by bicycle with navigation.

Xu Ziqin heard from Bai Jiang that his mother was working as a full-time nanny for others, and she made an appointment at a convenience store outside the community, probably because it was convenient for her to get off work.

Xu Ziqin parked the car at the door and looked in through the glass curtain wall of the convenience store. There were not many customers in the store.

Bai Lu stood in front of the small dining table, on which were neatly arranged a rice ball, a glass of milk and a box of oden.

Bai Lu changed into a relaxed smile, and sat down with her arms around him wearily: "Xiao Qin, here, eat something first."

Xu Ziqin obediently opened the rice ball and took a few bites.Beef stuffing, Aunt Bailu also knew that she was not used to raw food.

He hadn't eaten all night, and his stomach was very hungry. He finished eating the rice balls in two or three bites, and took a big mouthful of milk to swallow it down.

Almost choked.

"Eat slowly." Bai Lu smiled kindly, "Are you hungry?"

Xu Ziqin raised his eyelids and ate a bunch of oden: "Aunt Bai, you are looking for me because of... about my brother and I, right?"

He took another sip of milk and breathed a sigh of relief: "I guess, you are looking for me so late, did someone call you?"

"Yeah." Bai Lu said, "Your grandfather is very worried about you. He said he didn't eat all night, and he was afraid that you would be hungry. You didn't answer his phone calls."

Xu Ziqin pressed the cup on the table and took a deep breath of the air-conditioning around him: "Aunt Bai... I just want to ask you one thing, I can't trust everyone."

His eyes were red, holding back tears, he asked word by word: "Is Xu Shangwan's death a deal between him and my grandfather?"

Bai Lu's eyes sank, she lowered her head and said nothing.

The clerk should know Bai Lu, and served her a glass of boiled water with a smile.She held the water glass with both hands and kept digging at the wall of the glass. After a while, a tear slipped from the corner of her eye.

Like a pearl dropped.

Bai Lu's expression said everything. Although Xu Ziqin had heard the rumor from Fu Sheng, he still told himself in his heart that it was a lie, and it was all a lie that Fu Sheng made up to sow discord in order to fight for custody.

But Auntie Bailu had a crystal tear dripping from the corner of her eye, telling him with certainty that it was true and everything was a foregone conclusion.

Xu Ziqin breathed a sigh of relief, and said indifferently, "I see."

Bai Lu clenched Xu Ziqin's cold hand from the air conditioner, and tried to explain: "Xiao Qin, I'm sorry, we lied to you and Xiao Jiang in this matter, this is Shang Wan's own choice, and I acquiesce , if you want to blame me, don’t take your anger out on grandpa and your mother, okay?"

Xu Ziqin just smiled coldly, he didn't know how to refute.

The choice of adults, so we should bear all this silently?

"You know the situation of our family. I have diabetes and need a lot of money for dialysis, and Xiaosheng's various expenses for going to school rely on me as a nanny, and his grandfather sells breakfast, which can't fill this big hole at all. .

Shang Wan and I were loving and happy at first, but then there were various unforeseen and difficult-to-reconcile conflicts between the two of us.

In addition... I haven't read any books, and Shang Wan is a college student, the interests and hobbies of the two are incompatible, your mother is a high-achieving student, so he fell in love with your mother later, I can fully understand him. "

Xu Ziqin opened his lips, wanting to answer, but closed them anyway.

"I also learned later that he made a deal with your grandfather to save our mother and son. Your mother and I wanted to keep this matter from you for the rest of our lives."

Xu Ziqin stuffed all the oden into his mouth one bite at a time, got up, and left the convenience store calmly.

Bai Lu was worried, so she carried a small bag and chased after him.

"Aunt Bai..." Xu Ziqin stood still on the street, "I understand, it's all to protect the family, and my grandfather asked Xu Shangwan to be the scapegoat to ensure that the Qin family can continue to live steadily and prosperously.

Xu Shangwan was willing to be a scapegoat because he wanted to protect you and my brother to live in peace and carefree.

I understand it all, and I also understand that you all have your own unspeakable difficulties.But... why do you want me to meet my brother! "

Xu Ziqin was filled with righteous indignation: "We are not brothers, why did you let us meet, sleep in the same room, go to and from get out of class together, play around together, and when we all accept this setting, you will say it is fake and a scam .”

"Xiao Qin..." Bai Lu hugged him and put her arms around his head, "Auntie knows, you won't be able to accept it for a while. But, even if you are not related by blood, your mother likes Xiao Jiang, and I like you too. It's nothing, you can still call him brother."

Xu Ziqin choked and leaned against Bai Lu's arms, wanting to cry several times, but he held back.

"I assure you, Xiao Jiang won't blame you, okay?" Bai Lu said, "He's only one year older than you, that kid Dou Jingzhe always said he was precocious, and he looked like a young man in his early thirties. Same.

In fact, there is no such exaggeration, he just looks tough on the outside, but soft on the inside.

When he has figured it out and is transparent, he will naturally come to you.Give him some time to relax, okay? "

Bai Lu's words gave him a shot in the arm, Xu Ziqin wiped away the tears from the corners of his eyes, and stared at the person in front of him in a trance.

In Suzhou, he saw Liu Ruyan's elegant charm in her old age.But at this moment, Auntie Bailu's words and deeds are extremely free and concise, without sloppiness, as if she was singing on stage and singing in one go, flowing smoothly.

Before the two parted, Xu Ziqin also confessed: "Aunt Bailu, please ask my brother to call me back. I'm worried about him. I called him, but he never called me back."

At the end of the road, Bai Lu smiled, waved to him, and signaled him to go back, and he would definitely help to bring it.

Maybe it was because of having a heart-to-heart talk with Aunt Bai Lu, I felt an indescribably good mood.

The lumps accumulated in my heart were washed away.For a long time, Xu Ziqin's entanglement was not at all about whether Xu Shangwan was his biological father, but he was worried that Bai Jiang would ignore him when he learned about it.

He was afraid that Bai Jiang would take all the grievances against the Qin family on himself. After all, objectively speaking, it was because of the Qin family that his family was ruined.

If Bai Jiang scolded him heartily, he would never complain.He would rather his brother open up his heart in front of him, instead of running away from him and avoiding him all the time.

When Dou Jingzhe made a WeChat call, Xu Ziqin had just finished greeting the gatekeeper of the community.

"I'm at the intersection, where are you?" Dou Jingzhe was eating with a vague mouth.

Xu Ziqin felt inexplicably... every time he met this person, he would have to eat or go to eat something.

"Who is it?" Xu Ziqin pressed the elevator, "I'm home."

"I'll go!" Dou Jingzhe spouted, "You fucking didn't come out? Then you send a message to ask me to pick you up at Huangbeizi Lane, little master classmate, where are you playing?"

"I..." Xu Ziqin was puzzled, entered the elevator and checked his phone.

The original message on the message bar was sent out 10 minutes ago, but the key point is that Dou Jingzhe still replied at the bottom.

[Dou Jingzhe: Your Brother Dou will be there soon. 】

Xu Ziqin: ...

Confused……

Xu Ziqin breathed out, and when he got out of the elevator, just as he was about to speak, Dou Jingzhe said: "What do you want to explain? Do you all think I'm an idiot? If I don't walk around, I don't think I have a sense of existence, right?"

He was stunned at the door for a moment, thinking about how to explain to Qin Yang at home, when he heard a roar from the other end of the phone: "Xu Ziqin! I'm talking to you!"

"Ah?" The young master suddenly realized, and stammered, "I...I'm listening, I'm sorry."

"Don't act like a spoiled child to me." Dou Jingzhe was furious, "It's useful to bluff your cousin and brother, but it's useless to me. I'm not your relative, and I'm not your boyfriend. It's no use here. Do you hear that?"

"I..." Xu Ziqin was stunned, "When will I..."

"Forget it, for your brother's sake, I don't have the same knowledge as you." Dou Jingzhe said seriously, "Well, I'll lose face, and you call me brother, and this matter will be written off."

Xu Ziqin: ...

Are you taking advantage of me?

Dou Jingzhe seemed to have the ability to read minds. Seeing that Xu Ziqin didn't reply, he preemptively dispelled his thoughts, "Bai Jiang's 29th birthday this month, I'm a month younger than him at the beginning of next month. According to your seniority, you should call me One sound..."

Therefore, Dou Jingzhe experienced from the young master what it means that the voice stops abruptly.

In the middle of his speech, he squinted his eyes and waited with enjoyment for the young master to call him brother, but when he heard a long sound "beep."

Bye?

There was a loud roar in the night sky, and a stone on the ground in front of him was kicked several meters away.

Fuck!

Qin Li and Song Yunyun went back to their room to sleep. Qin Yang rested on the sofa with her head in one hand and squinted her eyes. She didn't sleep well. Xu Ziqin woke up after changing her shoes.

The gloomy light made Xu Ziqin feel at ease, he hurried out without saying hello, and didn't answer the phone, which made Qin Yang worry about him all the time.

With a hoarse voice, he said, "Mom... aren't you asleep yet?"

Qin Yang got up from the sofa, trotted over, and hugged him in his arms: "I knew that you want a mother, and you won't leave me."

There was a familiar smell of perfume on her body. When she was a child, she hugged Xu Ziqin like this, told him stories, and lulled him to sleep.This scent could instantly calm Xu Ziqin down.

"Ah."

"Promise mom, don't leave me, okay?" Qin Yang hugged him tightly, for fear that he would leave, "When you just ran out, the image of you going to see your uncle Fu flashed through my mind for a moment, I was afraid Extremely."

Xu Ziqin smiled and hugged her back: "I'm not leaving, Mom."

After sending Qin Yang back to the bedroom to lie down, Xu Ziqin went back to the room and adjusted the ceiling light to a suitable light intensity.

He has received too much information today, and he hopes to sort out and digest it well.Indeed, what Fu Sheng said was right, he was an adult, and he was not as fragile and vulnerable as others thought.

Take a good bath, wash away your tiredness, close your eyes and sleep soundly, and everything will be as usual tomorrow.

He came out of the shower with his upper body naked, and when he wiped his body with a bath towel, his phone vibrated.Xu Ziqin immediately recovered and clicked on the video.

On the opposite side of the video, Bai Jiang was lying in the back room. The surrounding environment was in a mess. Wine bottles and beer cans rolled all over the floor.

Totally lacking energy.

In the past few days when we didn't meet, he had a bad life, he didn't eat well, and he didn't sleep well.

Xu Ziqin's eyes formed a circle of mist: "Brother, you have lost weight, and you are not energetic anymore."

Bai Jiang showed a haggard and vicissitudes of life smile, stretched out his hand to caress his head in the air: "I haven't replied to your message these days, are you worried?"

This was the first time he saw Bai Jiang after returning from Suzhou, and it was a lie to say that he was not worried.

Xu Ziqin smiled: "Well... I don't have any clothes on."

As soon as he got out of the bathroom, he heard the phone ring, and he frantically went to answer it.Video chatting with his brother in a pair of underwear without realizing he was naked.

It's so indecent!

Xu Ziqin wrapped the bathrobe tightly, and said coyly: "Brother, I... go get dressed, a while..."

"Young master." Bai Jiang suddenly interrupted him, "I have seen every part of your body, hugged and kissed, there is nothing to be shy about. Sit down, I want to talk to you You talk. If you don't think it's appropriate, then... you can try, anyway, there is no one in the room. "

amount……

This doesn't seem very good, Xu Ziqin was stunned: "No... No need, don't take it off, you take it off me..."

"Okay, I won't take it off." Bai Jiang said, "I'll just watch. Don't stand there, sit down."

"Oh." Xu Ziqin obediently dragged a chair and sat down.

When the two looked at each other, Xu Ziqin still felt blushing and heart beating, but he couldn't tell, as if his brother could tease him with his eyes even if he didn't approach him.

That kind of tenderness like water, with affectionate eyes, made his heart move especially.

"You know everything about me and you. I'll repeat what I said to you in Suzhou. Whether it's about your factory or Xu Shangwan.

If you have anything, don't carry it yourself, I'm here.You can’t take care of your family affairs, and you can’t take care of them either. Don’t put too much psychological burden on yourself.

It's not your fault, and don't use yourself to do stupid things.Let me add one more thing, even if you do something wrong, I will never blame you, because I love you. "

"Brother..." Xu Ziqin murmured.

"But if, one day, I have to make a choice, then please believe that I love you, so you go forward, and I will always be behind you. If you like someone else, I will bless you .”

"Brother, as I said, I only like you." Xu Ziqin leaned closer, "In the past, traveling was slow and letters were far away, and I could only love one person in my life. Now that there is a lot of traffic and communication is developed, I can only love one person in my life." people.

Brother, no matter what decision you make, I will willingly help you carry it out.I also give back to you what you just said, even if you do something wrong, I will never blame you, because I love you. "

Outside the window, the moon and stars are sparse, and the shadows of the trees are swaying, as if they are listening carefully.

The teenager kissed the screen, as if crossing the void, and kissed each other.