surface light

——I have to learn to let go——

In winter in Hunan, it is extremely cold inside the house, but it is warmer when you walk outside and put your hands in your pockets.

There were ice particles floating last night, and today the street was exposed to the warm winter sun, and even the watermark could not be seen.

A skinny boy in a pure white down jacket stopped in front of a "Tea Beauty" store with a long queue, stared at it for a moment, let out a sigh of relief, and crossed the road with a frown.

"Xiao Jiang, Happy New Year." Bai Lu's voice came from the phone, "Have you eaten dumplings at my grandpa's house?"

"Eat." Bai Jiang passed the traffic lights, and the Happy New Year songs from several nearby clothing stores were so noisy that he couldn't even hear the loudspeaker clearly, so he had to sit down on a park bench while clutching his phone.

On the first day of the new year, no one was as idle as he was, wandered the park, and of course smoked a cigarette.

"Little grandpa is very kind to me, and I have taken over Shen Tiandong's house." Bai Jiang smiled and started another topic, "The imitation questions in Hunan are quite difficult."

He held back the latter sentence.

When he first arrived in Changsha, he was really uneasy. His foundation was weak and the types of questions were different, so he couldn't keep up with the progress.

But his class teacher is a middle-aged woman with long hair reaching waist, and she ordered several rounds of students to take turns tutoring for him.After a semester, my grades have improved, and I can barely get a first-line.

But the homeroom teacher didn't relax his vigilance, thinking that he had unlimited potential, and he might be able to enter a key university after another semester.

Bai Jiang didn't expect that a rascal boy who had been around for 18 years would also be praised by his teacher.

If it was in the third middle school or Yucai before.Maybe...he will selectively ignore the teacher's opinion.

He can accept it as long as he can go to Beijing to get a decent second degree or work harder to get a so-so one.

But... now, with the hope of being able to enter a key university, Bai Jiang still wants to give it a try.

After all, to be closer to him, when the two stand together, they won't look so out of place because of their education background.

"After I left, did he come to our house?"

A semester has passed, and the distance between the two of them has become carefree. Bai Jiang can't even say his name, so he can only use a pronoun "he".

Bai Jiang actually thought about it, but completely forgot about it.He is not a person who likes to reminisce about the past, and it is meaningless to think about the past.

But since he arrived in Changsha, reading and writing every day, even lying down to sleep, a person's face always appeared in his mind.

The tablemate called him, and he woke up from the dream, and he hugged his tablemate unexpectedly several times, and when he was pulled out of the memory, he suddenly felt that he was crazy.

He and Xu Ziqin were no longer at the same table.

When doing English single-choice, he always mistook the class monitor who pointed at the test paper and taught him to be Xu Ziqin, and the words still lingered in his ears.

"The past tense of cost is cost, there is no costed, this is AAA type, and it is different from ordinary words ending in t!"

"I chose A before."

"I know. I'm telling you, cost in this context is the past and future tense, not the simple present tense."

Waking up from a dream in the middle of the night, he would lean against the head of the bed panting heavily, staring down at the bed board.

As if smacking carefully, there will be a familiar figure and the even and soft breathing sound when he gets out of bed.

"Hey! Xiao Jiang, are you listening?"

He took a long breath and exhaled the smoke thinly and long.

Some people, some things, sink in the bottom of my heart, but I can't explain and explain them thoroughly.

"Yes." Bai Jiang whispered.

"The milk tea shop, your grandpa and I have taken care of it pretty well, don't worry. We moved out from Huangbeizi Lane and live on the second floor of the shop.

I go to work, and grocery shopping is also a lot more convenient.No. [-] middle school students finished class, and your grandfather and I blocked people at the door whenever we had time. We wanted to thank Xiaoqin face to face, but we haven't seen him since the semester passed. "

At the beginning, Xu Ziqin spent 20 yuan to rent a half-dead milk tea shop, which seemed to be slaughtered, but after a summer vacation, the school leaders refurbished the back door of No. [-] Middle School, and justifiably demolished all the back walls.

Nowadays, the snack business on Sanyuan Street is booming, and students come and go from get out of class, and people come and go.

The rent and housing prices in the vicinity have also risen, but Xu Ziqin kept a hand, and added a clause when he signed the contract with Huangmao that the price cannot be increased within one year, and the increase in the future cannot exceed [-]% of the rent.

Bai Lu and the old man's store opened in a prosperous way, and they earned a lot of money in just the past semester. Even Huang Mao was jealous, but there was nothing he could do.

Xu Ziqin has strong market foresight and can infer commercial value based on market conditions and trends.

"He's avoiding you." Bai Jiang took another puff of cigarette, "Mom, you and grandpa don't bother, even if you really bump into a dead mouse and squat on him, what can you do? It's better to let him Adapt to the current life well. You intervened, but he couldn't get out even more."

He took a breath and changed the subject: "Is your illness better?"

"It's much better. You don't have to transfer the money to me. Just live a good life. Don't be too tired and take care of yourself."

The sky began to snow, and pedestrians on the road cheered for joy. A group of girls couldn't wait to take pictures and share the late first snow.

As the snow got deeper, Bai Jiang made a snowball and threw it out.

Not far away, a person came out of the gray street scene, holding two cups of milk tea just bought from Cha Yan Yue Se.

The snowball thrown casually fell to the man's feet lightly, and the man bent down on the ground to pick up the snowball that was broken into several parts, rounded it up and handed it to him again: "Long time no see, let's talk?"

With two "poofs", the straw punctured the paper membrane, and the two sat down on a park bench to drink milk tea together.

It is the classic pearl milk tea, which warms the whole body when you sip it into your mouth.Wrapping the cup wall with both hands is extremely comfortable.

Fu Annan took a brown sugar plum from his pocket and handed it to Bai Jiang. He didn't reach out to take it, but Fu Annan tore off the wrapping paper with great interest, and stuffed it into his mouth: "You know, why Xiaoqin likes brown sugar?" Huamei?"

Bai Jiang bit his mouth on the straw and paused, then turned to look at him.

Fu Annan smiled, and took out another one from his pocket: "Sakata Yinshi is part of it. Your Aunt Qin said that this is his way of making friends. Whoever he is willing to give candy to, and whoever eats the candy, means that he has Totally accepted this guy. Did you know there's another meaning to this candy?"

Bai Jiang had a meal and felt sore in his heart.

Sweet and sour, Huamei is also called lover plum, and they communicate with each other, how could he not know.It's just that the young master has a big heart and didn't think about it.

"I came to Changsha to discuss business, so I stopped by to see you." Fu Annan said, "You like him, so you agreed to my father's request and left him. From time to time, you can retreat and advance, which ordinary children can’t do.”

"Uncle Fu." Bai Jiang's drooping eyes finally lifted up, "Do you really like someone?"

"It's the kind of no hesitation, seeing him being bullied, even killing someone for him. If it wasn't for Grandpa Fu, I'm afraid I'd have to spend a few years in prison."

This time it was Fu Annan's turn to be at a loss for words, he didn't expect a young man to be so affectionate.

"Even if I stay in prison until I die, I won't let him beg Li Xun!"

Bai Jiang was impassioned, "Uncle Fu, when he came to the detention center that day, he looked at me with hopeless and powerless eyes, heh, he said he would rescue me.

And I can only tell him, you are not allowed to go, I beg him not to go.Later, he definitely didn't go, because I knew that if he went to beg Li Xun to let me out, I would not forgive him.

He tried his best to be nice to me, and he did.So even if I was in jail for a few years, I wouldn't blame him.

He likes someone else, and I don't blame him.But...the turning point came. The moment Grandpa Fu rescued me, I felt like I was alive. "

Bai Jiang smiled: "If I stay in prison, my life will be over. How can I give him happiness and a sense of security? I can only go to him if I have a future like a normal person.

Even if he is not waiting for me at the starting point, I am willing to wait for him.If he got into trouble, take care of him.

He likes someone else, and I wish him the best.If he marries someone else, I can openly give him a big gift. If he repents and wants to divorce and stay with me, then I will stay with him forever.This is liking someone. "

"I promised Grandpa Fu to leave him, because only by leaving the detention center can I fulfill my promise. Even if he hates me, blames me, and blames me."

Fu Annan let out a long sigh of relief, and squeezed his shoulder: "Why didn't you tell him?"

"I promised Grandpa Fu." Bai Jiang took two sips of milk tea.

He shook it, it was too cold outside, with a few words, the hot milk tea was completely cooled.

"Instead of letting him like me and waiting bitterly, it's better for me to make a break for him. Grandpa Fu is right. Love in high school is young and ignorant, because the circle is there. Maybe I will go to college. After entering the society, he found someone who is more suitable than me and who loves him more. Then, as his brother who has been called for almost a year and has no blood relationship, I have to learn to let go."

When the last sentence "I want to learn to let go" was said, his heart was bleeding.

Who would want to give someone else the one they have perfectly protected?But from the moment he said it was inappropriate, he had already made a change.

Even though the person he loves is hurt and refuses to accept it, he still has to be ruthless and forcefully cut it off.

sorry……

"Bai Jiang." Fu Annan raised his head, "Xiaoqin beat Li Xun to the hospital that day, and his temperament completely changed. I don't believe that a lively and sensible child will suddenly change his temperament."

Fu Annan watched Bai Jiang's expression and eyes very vigilantly.

As soon as Li Xun was mentioned, his eyes became sharp, with a strong evil spirit that wanted to kill people.

This verified his conjecture.

When the police asked both parties to collect evidence, Li Xun and Bai Jiang were vague.

When Qin Yang asked Xu Ziqin afterwards, he also stuttered and couldn't explain clearly.

Fu Annan looked into Bai Jiang's erratic eyes: "You are Xiaoqin's brother, you like him so much, and he beat someone, instead of apologizing, you rushed into the hospital with a knife.

If I'm not wrong, you and Xiaoqin both hate Li Xun and want to kill him.What the hell did he do?you tell me. "

On the morning of the first day of the Lunar New Year, Xu Ziqin followed Qin Yang to his uncle and aunt's house to pay New Year's greetings, and had a quarrel with Qin Ziping who was on vacation for a while, listening to him tell interesting things about the university.After lunch, the whole family switched to a video chat with grandpa and grandma.

Then Wang Zijie was also pulled in, it was still early in the morning, the cousin was talking in a daze, and suddenly Shen Tiandong's face appeared while he was talking, and he made an inappropriate and weird voice.

Xu Ziqin understood in seconds, and was so frightened that he hurriedly asked everyone to hang up the phone, and sneaked to the balcony to send a message to Wang Zijie: "Cousin, you two are in an underground relationship that cannot be seen, pay attention to the impact."

In WeChat, Fei Jin and Liu Shen bombarded Xu Ziqin indiscriminately with all kinds of texts, voices, and phone calls.

He really couldn't help it, so he slipped away while the family was enjoying themselves, and went to the cinema with them to watch a blockbuster movie for the New Year.

Xu Ziqin likes to join in the fun, and he likes to go wherever there are many people, but when he goes to the movies with Fei Jin and Liu Shen, he feels that he is the most redundant one.

Because, half an hour later, Huang Dan and Xue Xi held hands in the movie theater and waved to the three of them.

These two couples are like a [-]-watt light bulb, and Bulling Bulling shines brightly, how embarrassing it is.

After watching the movie at [-] o'clock, the four people's interest did not diminish at all, and they insisted on pulling him to eat buffet together.

Xu Ziqin couldn't bear it anymore and slipped back early.

The first meal eaten at home in the new year means that the coming year will be prosperous.During the New Year's dinner in previous years, a large family sat down around the Bishuiwan marble round table and chatted about homework.

The elders handed out red envelopes one by one, and the younger generation said auspicious words along the line, and the pockets of Xu Ziqin, a well-spoken classmate, were bulging with red envelopes.

But this year the Qin family is in a downturn, not to mention gathering together for a meal, even a toast to celebrate is not neat.She looked completely energized, without the ostentation of a wealthy family.

The living room was full of aromas, and Li Xun was busy serving dishes.

"I'm back." Li Xun said with a smile, "Let's eat, just right."

Qin Yang poured out the scallop, mushroom and chicken soup from the stewing pot: "Wash your hands, kid, don't be dumbfounded."

Xu Ziqin rubbed the hand sanitizer in the bathroom, shook off the water on his hands, and washed his face with cold water to calm himself down.

What should be faced, cannot be avoided.

Before serving the table, Li Xun handed him a red envelope.Xu Ziqin sat down, as if he didn't notice, and took it away.

Li Xun waved his hands in the air, neither giving nor taking, very awkward.

Qin Yang set the table and chopsticks and patted the young master on the head, winking at him.

"Thank you Uncle Li Xun." Xu Ziqin answered impatiently.

"Good boy." After Li Xun sat down, he chatted with Qin Yang, "I heard from Mr. Fu that the business of the creative coffee shop you opened is not bad. Do you plan to expand another one in the surrounding office buildings?"

Qin Yang picked up a chicken leg for Xu Ziqin, and drank the soup by himself: "At the proposal stage, after all, the basement floors of the surrounding office buildings are full of hot and sour noodles and skewers, with a strong taste and no style, without the atmosphere of a trade center.

If it is on the first floor, it is not impossible to open it together with a convenience store, but the rent is too expensive.If the area is too large, it will occupy two facades, and the rent and decoration will be a big deal in the future. "

Li Xun said: "I will solve the rent problem. Xiaoqin, come, try this boiled shrimp. Uncle made it himself."

He pushed the oil dish towards Xu Ziqin: "Dip in some sour plum sauce."

Xu Ziqin took a mouthful, neither salty nor bland.

"Xiaoqin, mom plans to buy a two-bedroom house in the Fourth Ring Road in two days after getting the certificate from you, Uncle Li Xun. Your room has been found by mom. It's exactly the same style and style as yours before, but it's small. Point. Another day, shall we go and see the model house?"

The shrimp in Xu Ziqin's mouth suddenly lost its taste, and he couldn't help clenching his fists.

"Give the child some time." Li Xun said.

"I'm not going." Xu Ziqin put down his chopsticks, turned around and was about to go back to the house.

"Stop!" Qin Yang slapped his hands, pointed at him and shouted. "You can't do this, you can't do that. What do you want? You tell mom, you tell me, what do you want?"

Seeing this, Li Xun started talking to each other: "Quickly apologize to mom."

Xu Ziqin turned a deaf ear, turned his head to the side, and stared at the sparse lights outside the window in a daze.

"You don't like Xu Shangwan. You haven't called him dad for ten years. Have I ever blamed you? Yes, he's not your real dad, so there's nothing wrong with you not calling him.

But you tell me, how can I feel sorry for you about this matter?Where did I treat you badly?Why don't you think about your mother? "

"In the third year of high school, your grades have plummeted, and the class teacher came to your door. I didn't say anything serious about you, did I? Your aunt called me the other day and asked me to give you a psychologist. I also looked for it, but you didn't go.

I didn't say anything either.You have always been angry in your heart, you have been holding back, right?

From the time Bai Jiang moved out of the room until he went to Changsha, you were blaming me.At the beginning, I brought him in, but you didn't agree to live in the same room with him.Now I send him away, and you don't do it.What do you want?Xu Ziqin, tell me, what do you want to do? "

Xu Ziqin held back tears and said nothing.

"Isn't Mom and your Uncle Li Xun getting married for you?" Qin Yang said, "Mom is too busy to take care of the store's business and you by herself. Uncle Li Xun has his own studio. He has relatively plenty of time and can take good care of you. Since you were a child, your mother has let you do everything, why can't you listen to your mother this time?"

Li Xun went to help Qin Yang: "Take your time, some things can't be rushed, and the seedlings will grow."

"Mom." Xu Ziqin shed tears, like a clear crystal, "I don't need anyone to take care of me."

"Xu Ziqin!" Qin Yang scolded, "Have you forgotten what happened to you when you were malnourished last time? You can't even cook, so what do you do to take care of yourself! I used to spoil you, but now that the Qin family is gone, you also It's time to be sensible!

You have to listen to this matter if you don’t want to. I’m here to tell you about my marriage to your Uncle Li Xun, not to discuss it with you! "