But what did Dazai do wrong?

Lilijiang has something to hide from him these days.

Osamu Dazai was absolutely convinced.

"It doesn't mean that Riri-chan was honest with me before." Osamu Dazai emphasized, "Her past is still a cloud of fog in my intelligence network...I'm investigating her? That's a matter of course, how about Ango? Would you ask such a strange question?"

"With all due respect, Dazai-kun is the strange one who can ask me back with confidence."

Ango Sakaguchi, who had been happily working overtime in the office and swore to make his hairline more bald than Mori Ogai, was dragged away from work by Osamu Dazai mercilessly.

"Ango," Dazai Osamu looked over dissatisfied, "Whose good friend are you?"

"No one, I am a partner of justice." Ango Sakaguchi held a glass of blood-red healthy tomato juice, and raised his glass solemnly, "To justice."

Oda Sakunosuke toasted: "Respect justice."

The two mature men clinked glasses with each other, and looked up at Osamu Dazai's mournful gaze, taking a long gulp of wine.

"Dazai-kun, it is not advisable to seek love advice from single people." Ango Sakaguchi didn't really want to bury the rare rest time in Dazai Osamu's small emotional counseling class. He tried to persuade Dazai Osamu to harass others-for example, the ability is [ Sex-desire life], their great and kind BOSS Mori Ogai who is emotionally experienced at first glance.

"If it was Mr. Mori who met Riri-chan, he would have died the first time we met." Dazai Osamu held his face and said the most rebellious words in the most lovely and lovely tone, "After all, Riri-chan She only likes me~"

The sour smell of love hits his face, and the single dog's hand holding the oxygen mask trembles slightly, wishing to beat the guy who pollutes the air to death with a hammer.

Ango Sakaguchi pushed his glasses and said coldly: "In this case, Dazai-kun must have no emotional problems to consult. I'm leaving, I'm going to work overtime."

"Ango—don't go!" Osamu Dazai flashed in front of Ango Sakaguchi with lightning speed, and pushed Ango Sakaguchi back to his seat with both palms, "Odasaku! Close the door and let Teacher Cat!"

The three-colored cat squatting reservedly on the bar gave a long meow, swept its curled tail across the lacquered wood bar, and stared curiously at the two-legged beast with its head tilted.

"Ango, I need you!" Osamu Dazai kept holding Ango Sakaguchi's shoulder with one hand, and reached into his pocket with the other hand, and took out a handcuff?

"I refuse!" Ango Sakaguchi struggled fiercely, "You can't handcuff me after interrupting my work! Dazai-kun, calm down! I won the title of the best employee of the year at the port Mafia last year, and I have a right to immunity from torture!"

Even if he is an undercover agent sent by the Supernatural Secret Service to guard the port of Mafia, Ango Sakaguchi is confident: Between him as the best employee of the year and Osamu Dazai, who has never won a monthly full attendance award since joining the company, Mori Ogai must Will choose to work diligently!

"I got it wrong." Dazai Osamu whispered, and put the handcuffs back into his pocket, "The handcuffs are meant to be brought home to play with Riri-chan, not for Ango."

Ango Sakaguchi: I seem to know something dangerous that I shouldn't know at all...

After a series of odds and ends that made people want to call the police, such as discount coupons for hairy crabs, bugs, small recording pens, and unknown detonators, Osamu Dazai finally found a ball wrapped in paper towels from his coat pocket like a bottomless pit. stuff in.

"Ango, use your ability on this." Dazai Osamu opened the tissue ball and showed Sakaguchi Ango a piece of crumpled tinfoil with brown marks on it.

Ango Sakaguchi, the supernatural ability [Theory of Fall], the ability is to read the memory on the item, which can be called a BUG-level intelligence collection ability.

"This, is it tin foil for food?" Ango Sakaguchi sniffed it closer, "...the smell of chocolate?"

"I picked it up on the kitchen floor." Osamu Dazai raised a finger and said in a detective tone, "There are cocoa powder shavings scattered beside it."

No need for reasoning at all, let alone supernatural powers, Ango Sakaguchi said puzzled: "Tomorrow is Valentine's Day, February 2, a day when girls give chocolates to boys, and this is obviously a Valentine's Day gift made by Ms. Yamabuki herself. "

Is letting him use his powers a different way to show off his love and affection?vicious!Dazai is so cruel!

Osamu Dazai shook his head with a dignified expression: "I knew I would receive chocolates, and Riri-chan liked it so much, how could I not give me chocolates—I even reminded her many times—the key is, why is it 'handmade' ?”

"It's more sincere to do it with your own hands." Oda Sakunosuke felt it was easy to understand, "General girls would do it with their own hands."

"That's the problem." Osamu Dazai snapped his fingers, "Does Riri-chan have anything to do with 'normal girls'?"

"She is a handicapped person who can't pass the teaching level after playing games for two hours, weaving flower ropes will only make knots, and applying nail polish can make me rub off a layer of skin, and I can't wash it off. She is hopelessly handicapped." Osamu Dazai Said quietly, "After losing the egg cooker, toaster and microwave oven, Lili sauce would rather survive on glucose than set foot in the kitchen."

"She actually made chocolate with her own hands..." Osamu Dazai said complicatedly, "I don't know whether I should be moved by her 'affectionate', or should I worry about my life."

"Although death by poisoning is a good way to die, it must be very painful to burn through the stomach. I don't want to go to the hospital for gastric lavage on Valentine's Day."

Osamu Dazai handed the ball of tinfoil wrapped in a tissue to Ango Sakaguchi: "Ango! Just check to see if there is any material that would make me hurt when Riri-chan made chocolate, anesthesia, anesthesia, It doesn't matter if it's hallucinogenic or something like that."

In a sense, Osamu Dazai is a very open-minded person.

Ango Sakaguchi took the ball of tinfoil, which was as light as a feather physically but as heavy as Mount Tai mentally, and put his finger on it to activate the supernatural power.

Mountains and tsunami-like memories swept across his eyes one after another.

Starting from the processing of raw materials, the tin foil produced on the assembly line is put on the shelf by the salesperson, and next to it are all kinds of cute wrapping paper, which are quietly waiting to be picked up by customers and put into the shopping cart.

As Valentine's Day approaches, more and more girls linger around the beautiful wrapping paper, pinching their fingertips and blushing cheeks, looking forward to choosing.

The three girls came together, the lively girl with short hair walked in the front, and the high school girl with a gentle smile followed behind her.A few more steps away, a girl in a black tunic skirt paced over, her eyes paused briefly on the shelf, her lips were slightly pursed, as if feeling at a loss in a completely unfamiliar field, and because Some kind of unknown sense of responsibility forced himself to face it.

"How about this one? Simple and high-end style, very legal style." Suzuki Sonoko pointed to a fold of smoky blue wrapping paper and recommended.

Riri Yamabuki skipped the dazzling array of exquisite packaging on the shelf, took a roll of tin foil and put it in the trolley, and said calmly and honestly: "Sonoko, what gave you the illusion that I can actually wrap presents?"

Origami is Osamu Dazai's specialty, not hers.

Riri Yamabuki was never afraid to speculate on his disability level with the worst results.

"...It would be nice to be able to wrap it in tin foil." Suzuki Sonoko comforted, "A man who is not grateful for the chocolate made by our lawyer himself has no need to be pitied—no matter how good-looking he is!"

If the second half of the sentence was not added, this sentence would be more believable, Ango Sakaguchi thought.

The tin foil was put into the shopping bag, and his vision fell into shaking darkness, until Riri Yamabuki returned to the kitchen of the apartment and put all the materials he bought on the processing table.

"Make it with the chocolate recipe that has been circulated in Hakata first." Riri Yamabuki picked up a bag of cocoa beans and said to himself, encouraging himself, "Anyway, there must be something unique about the recipe that can be spread so widely."

Hakata’s famous chocolate recipe?Ango Sakaguchi flipped through the information library in his brain, if he remembered correctly...

"Let me watch the teaching video." Riri Yamabuki took out his mobile phone and clicked on a video with a hit rate of over one million.

Ango Sakaguchi's excellent observation skills allowed him to scan the screen of Riri Yamabuki's mobile phone in an instant. Below the black screen buffer interface is the message area. There are only two words in the top message, like 999.

— run away! ! ! !

Ango Sakaguchi: I have a bad feeling.

Riri Yamabuki put the phone upright on the phone stand, and waited piously and earnestly for the video to finish loading, and a clear picture jumped out.

The lights came on, and the woman with long pink hair on the screen looked at the camera and raised her eyebrows leisurely.

"Welcome to Biyangqi's handmade chocolate class. Girls looking forward to love, I will teach you how to poison your sweetheart in today's class."

[Thank you, Teacher Biyangqi!You are the light of my life!Teacher, I am useless! 】

[I learned it, I will arrange it for my boyfriend today. 】

[I will collect some good things and forward them to my little sisters. 】

[Sisters who saw this video, don’t forget to destroy the corpse (love)]

The screen is full of barrage, not a single word is spoken.

Shocked Ango Sakaguchi for a whole year.

There are so many instructional videos on handmade chocolate in the world. There are family version, couple version, deluxe version, and alien-calling expert version. Riri Yamabuki chose this one out of thousands of choices?

Ango Sakaguchi watched Riri Yamabuki take out his notebook while watching the video, and took notes carefully following Teacher Biyangqi's explanation word by word, nodding thoughtfully from time to time, as if he had acquired a new skill He looked so enlightened.

"So that's it." The black-haired girl murmured to herself, admiring, "As expected of Teacher Biyangqi's open class, what an extraordinary formula!"

Rolling up her sleeves, she confidently began her first attempt.

After reading this in memory, Ango Sakaguchi couldn't bear to read any more.

He guessed that his expression must be very strange at this time, with a strong sense of sympathy mixed with schadenfreude, and a little bit of the joy of reincarnation in the sympathy, which was complicated enough for Dazai to finish an article to understand.

"Ango, you laugh so scary." Osamu Dazai backed away calmly, "Are you so happy to see me unlucky... We have finally come to this point, the once pure and innocent friendship can never go back Already!"

Ango Sakaguchi originally wanted to tell Osamu Dazai the cruel reality in a milder tone, but now he just feels that his sympathy has been fed into the dog's belly.

Osamu Dazai deserves no sympathy at all!Come, let him crush his hopes!The so-called friends are used to hurt each other and stab each other!Accept the cold reality, Dazai-kun!

Ango Sakaguchi lowered his head slightly, a strange white light flashed through his glasses, and when he raised his head again, with a gentle smile on his face, he stuffed the tin foil once wrapped in highly poisonous chocolate back into Osamu Dazai's hand.

"Congratulations, Dazai-kun." Ango Sakaguchi said incredulously, "Successfully won for yourself the right to stay in the ICU ward for the next whole year. Now that Valentine's Day is approaching, do you have any last words to say?"

"By the way, it's not the refreshing, clear and vigorous death you expected. If I insist, I can only describe it as bleeding from seven orifices, hundreds of holes piercing the intestines, bruising the bones, and blowing up the ashes."

Ango Sakaguchi lamented: "As expected of Bi Yangqi from Pengo Lie, it is enough chocolate to be called a biochemical weapon."

"Dazai-kun, it is your blessing to be able to eat it."

It's your blessing—blessing—reward——

Until he returned to the apartment and sat on the sofa in the living room, the echo of Ango Sakaguchi was still shaking in Osamu Dazai's mind, unable to stop for a long time.

He took out his mobile phone and skillfully logged in to the dark web - Bodo District - [Happy Shark Hand, gossip about you and me] section.

Bodo's killers are well-known in the industry for their high quality, fast efficiency, and they don't talk too much when they carry their guns. Only their peers know how much they gossip in private.

The entire communication area is full of gossip, new posts and replies are refreshed every minute and every second, and the daily activity is terrifying. I don’t know how many killers are lurking in the dark and waiting for targets. Not wrong.

Every Valentine's Day, Biyangqi's cooking teaching video will be posted on the first page by the good people.

Experts in the comment area below the video gathered witty words, likes and fighting fiercely.The last popular reply is likely to be blasted by someone and sink to the bottom in the next second, but the simple "Run away!!!!" will always be the first, and will always be heartbreaking.

It can be seen that Bodo people still have a bit of kindness in them, and they have not completely lost their conscience and turned black and white.

Osamu Dazai finished watching the handmade chocolate class "Teaching You How to Poison Your Sweetheart" in silence. He sat on the sofa and thought about it for a long time, then took out a knife and gestured at his arteries.

"If it's the level of chocolate from the poisonous mushrooms in Houshan, I will definitely finish it without hesitation." Osamu Dazai sighed, "But! Is it too much to eat people until their stomachs are perforated! Just watch the video I already feel the pain!"

He has a little bit of regret, falling in love is too fatal, and death is coming every day.

While Osamu Dazai was having a fierce ideological struggle, Riri Yamabuki returned to the apartment after finishing his day's work.

"I'm back—it's rare that you didn't work overtime until midnight today." The light in the entrance came on, and Riri Yamabuki hung the keys on the shelf and bent over to change his shoes.

In the living room, Osamu Dazai maintained the posture of holding the knife, hesitating whether to kill himself before his girlfriend took out the lethal chocolate, and cut off her conspiracy from the root.

"[Happy shark hands, gossip about you and me]? What are you doing on our Hakata forum?" Riri Yamabuki walked over, took the fruit knife held by Osamu Dazai, and chose a ripe red fruit from the fruit plate. apple.

She poked her head to look at the screen of Osamu Dazai's phone, and her hands kept moving, peeling and digging out the core, picking up a piece of crispy and sweet apple with the tip of the knife and feeding it into her mouth.

Biyangqi's video had already finished playing, and Dazai Osamu's phone interface stayed on the homepage of the forum.When Riri Yamabuki was looking down at the screen, a newly released post jumped twice and was marked red, falling into the eyes of her and Osamu Dazai at the same time.

[Friends, who knows why that Valentine's Day isn't taking orders this year? 】

1L: As in the title, the child is a fanatical admirer of the goddess, and after finally saving enough money to ask the goddess to kill my ex-boyfriend, only to hear the sad news that the goddess will not accept orders on Valentine’s Day this year... Wow, if it wasn’t for meeting the goddess, I would How could the scumbag live for so long!Cry to death.

2L: Why don't you find me upstairs, [-]% off on Valentine's Day, don't wait when it's out of date.

3L: Advertisement upstairs, no thanks for reporting.

4L: That's weird, isn't Valentine's Day always empty?The feat of completing 38 business orders overnight last year shocked the whole Bodo.

5L: As expected of my goddess!Suck and suck.

6L: Sihasiha.

7L: Why is that Valentine's Day so empty... Can't people who want to ask her out line up from one side of Bodo to the other?

8L: Newcomer upstairs?

9L: Iron rookie, tsk tsk, I haven't been beaten by that person yet.

10L: The 7th floor is too daring... Don't you know that even a penguin can be frozen to death by that eye?When I saw her it was like being in Siberia...so cold and shivering.

11L: The goddess used to live in Russia, she is a real ice and snow beauty, a ruthless spokesperson.

12L: Is it that exaggerated?I jio that the guy is quite approachable, although he seldom smiles.

13L: Maybe she likes you more.

14L: Double standard, I'm sour.

15L: sour 1

……

25L: Don't be sour, eating lemons will only make you a minion. Don't worry about it on the 13th floor, you are still far from being a true double-standard object.

26L: The elder brother upstairs has an aura of wisdom with gullies in his chest!If you know something good, tell it to everyone!

27L: Is the 25th floor from Yokohama?

28L: ? ? ?What are Yokohama people doing in our Hakata territory?The most unlivable city in the country this year must be Hakata!Don't you try to grab the top spot--(screaming)

29L: The goddess seems to be in Yokohama (weak)

30L: Goddesses are different. Goddesses belong to everyone.

31L: That is, who would blame our goddess, Hakata Light——

32L: Laugh to death, your goddess has long belonged to our Yokohama.

33L: Report the coordinates upstairs, and you will be killed in three seconds.

34L: Don't fight, you can't kill anyone like this.

35L: This building is already very crooked.I can answer the landlord's question, that person does not take orders on Valentine's Day this year, because she wants to spend Valentine's Day with her boyfriend.

36L: Ah, finally someone has spoken out. Don’t you all know the news that the goddess is dating?

37L: Grass!When did this happen!We don't know!

38L: Sign up with your name and coordinates, and I will let that man's head fall to the ground in three seconds.

39L: Excessive Du Wei appeared.

40L: Everyone in Yokohama knows that your Hakata news is very lagging behind. (spread hands)

41L: Oh, you want the coordinates for the 38th floor, right?Good boy, I will pay for your coffin!

42L: Friends, open the map navigation and choose Yokohama.Have you seen the tallest and most conspicuous five buildings?Hey, people work there, you go.

43L: Mafia, a mere port, think I dare not?

44L: Do you dare?

45L: Heh, it's just a matter of old and new grudges!As long as you don't meet that little boy named Osamu Dazai, you see how I dare!

46L: It sounds like Osamu Dazai is a victim of PTSD.

47L: What a miserable child, I love you.

48L: The former goddess actually tied the knot with the psychological shadow!Is this a distortion of human nature or a loss of morality!

49L: I'm afraid that he will faint from the blow.

50L: This is the host. In order not to disturb the goddess' Valentine's Day arrangements, I decided to kill the scumbag myself.but!Friends, kids are curious!Will the goddess make chocolate for her boyfriend?Can the chocolate made by the goddess eat the dead?

51L: The soul asks a question, which is deafening.

52L: I will answer this question—yes, yes.Because she liked Teacher Biyangqi's video.

53L: Eh, now that you don't need to make a move on the 38th floor, won't that one become single again after Valentine's Day?

Osamu Dazai: "Rule-chan, tell the truth, are you trying to murder me?"

"How do you know that I tried Biyangqi's chocolate recipe?" Yamabuki Riri raised the tip of his knife, forked a piece of apple into Dazai Osamu's mouth, and asked slowly.

"You actually used the honorific title 'teacher'..." Osamu Dazai gasped while biting an apple, "I found crumbs of cocoa powder in the kitchen, please Ango to help me."

"His abilities are useful enough." Riri Yamabuki put down the knife, brought the apple to Osamu Dazai's mouth for him to bite, and freed his hand to rummage in Osamu Dazai's pocket.

"...It turned out to be a bad thing about a piece of tinfoil. I should have taken away the kitchen waste and threw it away." Riri Yamabuki felt for the tinfoil ball covered in poisonous chocolate, and was about to pull his hand out of Osamu Dazai's pocket. But the fingertips touched the cold and hard bracelet-shaped touch.

Osamu Dazai's mouth was occupied by an apple, and he blinked innocently, watching Riri Yamabuki's handcuffs dangling in front of his eyes.

"This gentleman." Riri Yamabuki raised his eyebrows, "Why did you bring the handcuffs from the torture room home?"

Osamu Dazai murmured twice, indicating that he could not speak.

Coincidentally, Riri Yamabuki was not interested in his explanation.

"It's okay, just block it." She hooked the handcuffs and spun around twice, "I guess Dazai brought it back because he wanted to play games with me, didn't he?"

Word for word, it is exactly the same as Dazai Osamu's previous explanation to Sakaguchi Ango.

"How could I disappoint you?" Riri Yamabuki bent his lower lip, patted Osamu Dazai's cheek lightly with the cold handcuffs, and said affectionately:

"Tie you up, okay?"

The quartz clock in the living room ticked away every minute, and there was only half an hour left before Valentine's Day.

The heating makes the room warm. The sofa imported from France has some quality problems. The sofa legs sink into the carpet and make a slight collision sound, as if someone is bumping against it.

"The Bok people who say you are cold and heartless should really show what their goddess is doing now."

Osamu Dazai had his hands behind his back, and the silver-white handcuffs were firmly locked on his bandaged wrists.

He had obviously struggled a lot, and the hair on his forehead was wet with sweat and stuck to his pale skin.

With the hands trapped, the throat doesn't have to be blocked.Riri Yamabuki took the apple that Osamu Dazai was biting, and put the apple with two tooth marks on the flesh on the coffee table. The sweetness gradually dissipated in the oxidation, and the almost rotten fruit fragrance permeated the air.

"Where is this going? It's not too much." Yamabuki Riri stood in front of Osamu Dazai, the fruit knife in his hand was flying up and down, and his fingertips brushed a sharp silver arc.

She picked up the tip of the knife, pinched Osamu Dazai's jaw with one hand, and looked at his face carefully.

"Have you figured out where to cut?" Osamu Dazai asked softly.

"You know I don't want to part with it." Riri Yamabuki said casually, "My favorite is Dazai's eyes, followed by his face. I wouldn't choose this place if I were to use a knife."

"To be honest." Osamu Dazai smiled.

He leaned back, leaning his back against the soft sofa, slightly raised his chin towards Shanbuli Li: "Honey, sit up."

"Obviously controlled by others, but like to use command sentences, don't you know that it is easy to irritate the kidnappers?"

Riri Yamabuki sat straddling Dazai Osamu's lap, the distance between the two of them was only half the tip of a knife.

Facing the shining blade, Osamu Dazai shrugged his shoulders indifferently, with the tails of his beautiful eyes curled into romantic arcs, he said in a cute and coquettish tone: "My sister won't be angry with me."

Riri Yamabuki didn't answer, she held the knife firmly, and the edge of the knife approached Dazai Osamu's eyebrows little by little, almost becoming a white spot in his eyes.

Osamu Dazai never blinked once until the icy blade left a unique chill on his skin.

The snow-white bandage was chopped off, and the kite eyes that had been hiding in the darkness for a long time were exposed to the air, and the eyelashes trembled slightly due to the cold.

The bandage that covered Osamu Dazai's right eye fell to the edge of the sofa, and the end was hanging on the carpet.

"I've wanted to do this for a long time." Riri Yamabuki threw the knife back without looking back, the tip of the knife pierced the apple on the coffee table, and was firmly nailed to the pulp.

At the moment when the handle of the knife trembled, the hands on the quartz clock crossed the morning boundary, and the illuminated numbers on the electronic calendar jumped forward by one frame.

Riri Yamabuki leaned forward, and a cold kiss fell on Osamu Dazai's eyes.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Dazai."