The Redemption of "White Moonlight"

Helezer knew that Ji He hadn't slept for a long time, and he really wanted to let Ji He take a rest, but it was a pity that they couldn't meet, if Ji He didn't sleep, they couldn't communicate at all.

Ji He must be very tired.

Lying down in the void, Helezel's body seemed to be submerged in endless white.

When he was sleeping, his brain had time to rest.

After being with Ji He, Helezel developed a habit when he was free.

He will close his eyes and recall all the past.

When he was a child, he was no different from a robot, but now he has a completely different gaze from that time, so looking back again, he seems to have experienced his childhood again as another person.

The time at home is always so boring, heavy and simple homework and father's endless "teaching" are compulsory courses for Helezel and Gaza every day.

Mother only visits once in a while, and that's when the house becomes a little more interesting.

The father and mother had divorced long ago, because they would always quarrel over all kinds of trivial matters, and sometimes they would fight violently. For this, Gaza and Ji He just watched from a distance, and Gaza's face was usual Smiling, and Hereser just watched the farce with a blank face.

Why do textbooks always assume that father and mother have a good relationship?Both of them don't quite understand this question, just like they don't understand love, friendship, happiness, or disgust.

It's just that the family is rarely so lively. Although it is a bit jarring, it is really interesting.

Looking at the wrestling parents, Hleizer thought so.

At that time, Ji He had already transferred to Lord Academy.

When he saw Ji He in the academy for the first time, a little "accident" appeared in Helezel's heart. It turned out that this person could really enter the Lord's Academy. It seemed that he was not bragging. This was his truth at the time. idea.

At that time, Gaza was also standing next to Ji He, and he said to him: "Helezel, this little classmate said you are his friend."

friend?For a moment, Helezel's eyes met Ji He's, and Helezel noticed that Ji He's eyes were a little different from usual at this moment, it was no longer shining brightly, no longer smiling, looking at Ji He But it's so... pitiful?

Pitiful?Helaizel pondered over this vocabulary, and walked out of Gaza and Ji He's field of vision. In fact, at this moment, Helaizel had instinctively chosen to ignore Gaza, just like at home.

At that time, he didn't know what kind of harm that ignorance would do to Ji He.

Since then, that person named Ji He has always appeared in his vision frequently, especially when he was having lunch.

Helezel chose to have lunch on the rooftop at noon, in order to avoid chatter from others and Gaza's appearance.

When another person appeared to try to carve up his territory, Hleizer thought carefully about the gains and losses of moving the position.

But soon, he found that this person named Ji He didn't seem to be particularly annoying, at least not to the point where he couldn't eat, so Helezel, who was too lazy to waste much time, chose to temporarily acquiesce in Ji He's invasion of his territory the behavior of.

As usual, Ji He always glanced at him secretly from the sideways. In fact, Helezel had already noticed his peeking, but chose to remain silent about it. He felt that every time Ji He sneaked over and thought he was The little ones that have never been exposed are more interesting.

He remembered that Ji He's voice always blended into the gentle breeze on the roof, and many times Helezel regarded it as a special kind of music, which made him extremely relaxed. Many times, when Ji He was speaking He fell asleep, and when he woke up, Ji He just looked at him blankly, as if he was never annoyed by his falling asleep.

Ji He, this is one of the few names that he really remembers without deliberate memory. Sometimes when he reads these two words, his sight will slow down for a moment. Of course, he did not know this at the time Unable to notice.

Once, Ji He saw his "BC-level Observation Report" at the teacher's place.

At noon, Helezer was keenly aware of Ji He's mood swings. He knew that when he was talking to him, Ji He had an emotion similar to "angry", and such anger was directed at him. It's very different from the usual Ji He.

Helezel couldn't figure out why Ji He was suddenly different. He answered Ji He's words casually as usual, and after returning home, he lay on the bed and thought for a while, but he didn't come up with any results.

Is it because of that report?

Unfortunately, for a long time afterwards, he read that report over and over many times, but he couldn't figure out the specific reason for Ji He's anger.

Soon, the school began to spread rumors similar to "Ji He, a B-level student, likes Helezel".

like?Although I found the definition of this term on the Internet, Helezel, who has never experienced all this in person, cannot perceive what kind of emotion it is. He only knows that such emotions will cause the human body to release a A very troublesome hormone, if possible, he hoped that Ji He would not have similar emotions towards him.

He felt that he could not "give a response" as the book said.

Not long after the rumor spread, the Hleizer family ushered in upheaval.

Grandma passed away.

Hleizer remembers standing behind his father on a rainy day at his grandmother's grave.

Many visiting relatives cried, even Gaza and his father shed a few tears.

Only Helezel didn't, he just felt that there were some exaggerated cries beside him, which sounded really noisy.

Staring at grandma's stele and watching the raindrops hit the light gray stone slab one after another, Helezel understood the meaning of death.

Her heart seemed to be suppressed by a stone, it was stuffy and uncomfortable, but it was not to the point where Helezel could cry.

He remembered that grandma held his face, called his name, and asked him, "Little Holly, little Holly, why don't you understand?"

Her voice echoed in Helezel's ears again, very clearly, as if she had never left.

Grandma kissed Helaizel's forehead, "It's okay little Helai, you will understand, what grandma didn't let you do, there will be someone who will let you do it one day."

Helezel knew what grandma was saying. At that time, he didn't respond to grandma's words, but he thought in his heart—impossible.

For a person like him, he himself doesn't know how to change.

Many people say that the emotion called "like" can melt a person's heart.

Hleizer has also read this sentence, and he thinks it is useless.

From childhood to adulthood, due to their own conditions, there are not a few people who like Helezer, and those who have the courage to approach him cannot count on two hands.

In this regard, Helezel didn't feel anything in his heart. He could name these people and remember their appearance and preferences, but he couldn't make himself fall in love with them.

If possible, he also wants to experience the feeling of "out of control".

It's a pity that no one can do it.

So soon, he classified those who liked him into the category of "trouble and can't get rid of". The experience of being entangled by others after several failures made Hereser warn himself to stay away from those who liked him. People stay away.

Before it was rumored that Ji He liked her, Hleizer originally placed Ji He in a slightly special place in her heart.

But when he observed the similar features of those who confessed to him on Ji He's face, he suddenly felt a feeling of disgust in his heart.

It turned out that the rumor was true.

He didn't have time to analyze this almost unfamiliar emotion in his heart, he just wanted to get rid of a trouble quickly.

Obviously in the previous experiences, he has never resisted like this.

Because that person is Ji He, subconsciously, he doesn't want Ji He to become a trouble.

It's a pity that as time went by, Ji He's eyes looking at him became more and more lingering.

"It's okay, little Helai, if grandma didn't ask you to do it, there will be someone who will let you do it one day."

After grandma died, when Helezel faced Ji He alone, these words from grandma would suddenly break into his mind.

Helezel, who had decided that such a thing would not happen, had an unprecedented rebellious psychology for some reason.

He no longer wants to go to the rooftop for lunch, and he no longer wants to face Ji He's bright eyes.

Although Ji He's news still occupied his audiovisual from time to time.

Finally one day, Helezel decided to make it clear to Ji He that to end all this inexplicable, he didn't like Ji He who liked him, and he didn't like himself who gradually became strange because of it.

It was Valentine's Day that day, and he invited Ji He into his dormitory, and Hereser saw Ji He's pursed lips and fingers moving uneasily.

Flipping through the love letter in his hand, Helezel caught a glimpse of the black envelope in Ji He's hand out of the corner of his eye.

He knew that it was Ji He's letter to him.

That would be a burden, a burden requiring him to like him.

Hleizer knew that he had no liking or the ability to love others.

So, he rejected Ji He in the cruelest way, and told Ji He clearly that it was impossible for them.

Before he learned how to make people happy, he had the ability to hurt people in advance.

Ji He left.

From his back, Helezel sensed his heartbreak.

He made a laughing man lose his smile.

Suddenly, Hereser lost the motivation to sort through the other letters.

The letter Ji He wrote to him was thrown into the trash can by him.

From the beginning to the end, he didn't pick it up.

It was thrown into the big trash can the next day, and I don't know which garbage truck was recycled to which garbage station.

Today's Helezel really wants to know what is written in it, really wants to know.

But he didn't dare to ask Ji He, he was afraid that it would bring back Ji He's bad memories of him, and then Ji He would exude an aura of rejection towards him, as if every cell in his body was clamoring to reject him. Get close to him.

That would make Hellezel very uncomfortable.

So he would imagine the content of that letter, imitate Ji He's tone, repeatedly, secretly, without letting Ji He know.