Wrong Changhuan

Lin Yu'er took out three sticks of incense, held the stick between her fingers and held the end of the incense with one hand, lit the candlestick, and then fanned it lightly with her hand, until the faint flame on the incense was extinguished, leaving only a wisp of green smoke, before she respectfully He raised the incense and bowed three times, put the incense into the stove, then knelt on the futon in front of the coffin, and kowtowed three times.

After doing all this quietly, Lin Yu'er put her hands together, didn't stand up, and didn't look at Chang Huan on the left.

Lin Yuer said, "Today's matter... do you have something to ask?"

Chang Huan looked at the tablet in front of him and said, "Uncle, are you from the Chu family?"

"Yes." Lin Yuer didn't say much.She thought that Chang Huan would ask questions about Murong Ji.

Chang Huan was curious about the relationship between Chu Mu and the Lin family, so he couldn't help asking, "Then how did they die?"

It turned out that Cheng Yunchu's words were not lies.

Lin Yu'er looked at those memorial tablets, said in a cold tone, "15 years ago, I died in Yuancheng..."

Chang Huan's heart twitched violently, even though he had just expected this result, it was inevitable that he felt sad and bitter.

"They are all dead..." Lin Yu'er finished speaking quietly, paused, and then said, "It was your father's choice, which cut off their way of life and killed them..."

Lin Changhuan listened to the sadness, helplessness, reproach and resentment in these words, his eyes were sore, and he closed them slowly.

Is this the reason why mother chose to save my uncle and gave up on herself that year?

Or is this her revenge on Murong Ji?

When the same power was transferred to her, she made a choice without hesitation, once... twice... three times...

Without mercy, without a trace of care.

As for Chang Huan, he could only pee and watch, envious of the child in other people's parents' arms, calling mother and father.

And she could only curl up and hold herself tightly in the invisible cellar of Blind Mountain.

The darkness was thousands of times deeper than the color of ink, and it seemed to have opened its bloody mouth, swallowing her courage, soul, and hope.

Like a nightmare, it can't go away.

Was that punishment and revenge for her?

Chang Huan didn't dare to open his eyes, didn't dare to look at Lin Yuer, and didn't dare to look at those spirit tablets again, and asked, "So, mother, you always hated me, didn't you?"

She wanted to ask this question countless times, but was afraid of the answer.Now, she finally forced her to ask.

The room was quiet for a long time.

Lin Yuer stood up, looked at Chang Huan, and said, "I hate him...and you are his...so..."

Before saying a word, Lin Yu'er turned her head away and stopped looking at Chang Huan.Then, a tear quietly fell down the cheek and hit the clean sky blue embroidered winter dress.

So, I hate you too.

The unspoken words echoed in Chang Huan's mind over and over again.

Chang Huan slowly opened his eyes, staring blankly at his mother's back.

That figure is close at hand, so familiar, yet so strange, so far away.

It turned out that it was only because his blood flowed on my body.

It turned out that my mother didn't care, even though she never knew this father, the him in her mouth.

It turned out that I thought I knew this all along, and all I needed was a short word from my mother, and the only trace of fantasy left was shattered with a crash.

So vulnerable, and then, lifeless.

Chang Huan suddenly let out a wry laugh, and a tear fell slowly, hitting the bone-chilling bluestone floor, and hitting her sensitive and soft heart hard.

It turns out that my sin has been imprinted in my bones since the moment I came into the world, so I have endured it for so many years.

Different from the pain caused by trauma, this silent torture is a tear nailed on the soul.

It hurts the most when it is miserable.

Chang Huan lowered his head, slumped his body, and said quietly, "I'm leaving."

Leave the ancestral hall, leave the Lin Mansion, and leave Jiangling.

"Let's go--" Lin Yu'er said plainly, without turning her head to look at her.

There was no reluctance, half a point of retention, nor the slightest hesitation, even a moment of hesitation.

Be bold, as always.

Chang Huan straightened his body, kowtowed three times to the tablet in front of him.Then, he turned around and bowed to Lin Yu'er three more times.

The clear and crisp impact echoed in the silent ancestral hall.

Chang Huan got up, walked slowly to the door, and finally looked back reluctantly.

From the beginning to the end, the mother did not look back at her.

Like, she never existed.

This feeling made her more painful and suffocated than scolding her or beating her.

The snow outside is still falling silently.

Chang Huan ran unconsciously all the way out the door.It seems that only by running can you feel the heartbeat and know that you are still alive.

Before I knew it, I arrived near the front hall, where the lights were brightly lit, and the chatter and laughter were still there.

I don't know if the banquet is over, how many are left?

Outside the east window, under the eaves of the corridor, beside the dead trees, on the snow.

Chang Huan suddenly discovered that this is what it meant to be innocent and guilty.

Then I realized that when I was ten years old, what the old monk Zhibei said was that the six relatives were not close, and he was right.

A mouthful of heart-blood spewed out of his chest suddenly, unstoppable.

Dead trees and broken branches are unbearable.

Without support, Chang Huan fell to the ground, clutching his chest tightly with one hand, watching the crimson slowly changing on the snow.

It has been dyed with halo color, and its appearance has been carved.

In the front hall, Yang Yan seemed to hear a crisp sound, got up and left his seat, and walked out the door with a smile on his face.Seeing Chang Huan kneeling on the ground, stretching out his hands to cover the glaring beauty with snow, he was startled and felt a sharp pain in his heart.

Looking again, the blood stain hanging on the corner of the mouth has not yet been wiped dry.

Yang Yan's smile froze, and he panicked.

Stumbling and running over, Yang Yan helped Chang Huan up, and said anxiously, "Have you vomited blood? What happened?" He was about to feel his pulse.

Chang Huan wiped his mouth with his sleeve, broke free from Yang Yan's hand, showed a wry smile, and explained in a low voice, "It's okay—it's just a little sad just now, spit blood to relieve it...Uncle...you're making a fuss again. "

The concern and distress on Yang Yan's face made Chang Huan smile, his nose sore, and his eyes wet again as he spoke.

It is such a person who has no blood relationship with her, but she has relied on her the most these years.

There is endless warmth, countless.

There is love and selflessness, never asking for anything in return.

There, I will never be the one left behind.

He gave her more than the second uncle, and more than anyone in the Lin family.

And he can always see her hidden fragility, and he can always bring her comfort at the first time.

Yang Yanyan wiped away the tears on Chang Huan's face.

Chang Huan stepped forward suddenly, hugged him, and whispered softly, "I choose you--"

As if fed up with being picked and picked by others, and can't help it.If she is allowed to choose, she will make her own choice, so what? !

"What are you talking about?" Yang Yan was a little confused by the endless words.

Chang Huan said slowly, "When I was six years old, I watched the Spring Festival, you asked me questions...I choose you..."

This sentence completely froze Yang Yan on the spot.

In Yang Yan's memory, although he has known Axun for many years, how could he forget the first Spring Festival he spent with Chang Huan and Axun after arriving in Jiangling.

On New Year's Eve, shortly after the reunion dinner at the Lin Mansion, Lin Teng brought Chang Huan and Lin Xiao to Axun Courtyard to set off firecrackers, very happy.

Chang Huan didn't dare to let it go, and when he heard the loud noise, he would hide in A Xun's arms, asking him to help cover his ears, while he covered his eyes tightly with his small hands, showing a small slit to watch carefully.

Because, he threatened Chang Huan that children would blow up their fingers and eyes when playing firecrackers.

Chang Huan had a milky voice, and asked curiously, why did they set off firecrackers.

He said that during the Chinese New Year, there is a monster named Nian, who will scare away the Nian after setting off firecrackers, and will not eat children.

Chang Huan asked, the medicine hall didn't release it. What if the Nian beast came and hid under the bed and wanted to eat me?

At that time, Anpingtang had just opened, and there was only a young apprentice, Ah Jin, in the medicine hall, and he also returned to his hometown because of the Chinese New Year reunion.

He and A Xun couldn't hold back Chang Huan, so they took her back to Anpingtang.He set off firecrackers, and A Xun hugged Chang Huan, watching, listening, and laughing happily.

At that moment, it was so warm and beautiful.

That night, the three of them did not return to Dongfu.

Standing by the fire in the house, Chang Huan lay on his lap, smelling the scent of medicine on his body, playing with his clothes with his little hands, begging him to tell one story after another.

He asked Axun, why is this little thing so energetic and not sleepy?

A Xun said with a smile, she said she wanted to watch the year.It's just our family of three watching the New Year together, isn't it good?

After hearing this, he was very happy and willing.

Chang Huan pouted but said, I am not a small thing.

He asked, oh?what are you thenLet me guess, you are Xiao Huanhuan, right?

As he spoke, he scratched Chang Huan's itchy flesh, making her overjoyed, shouting for uncle to spare his life, and for second uncle to save me.

He became curious and asked, me or your second uncle, which one do you like?

Chang Huan rolled his big eyes, frowned, then smiled and said, I like them all.

He asked again, if you could only choose one, who would you choose?

Chang Huan thought for a while and said, grown-ups can choose between them, and I want both.

After Ah Xun and him listened, they felt that the words were amazing, and they were all happy.

But in order to prove that he is more popular, he asked again, if one day, I said, if the uncle and the second uncle are no longer together, and they don't live in the same house, you can't follow both, you have to choose one, then who do you choose?

After Chang Huan heard this, he pouted his lips immediately, tears were already rolling, and asked, why are we not together anymore?Is it because I'm not good?

Chang Huan burst into tears as he spoke.

At that time, he never knew that children's tears could flow so easily, nor did he know that there were so many tears shed.

He wiped her tears, and seeing that she took the joke seriously, he hurriedly said, I was teasing you just now, why can't I help teasing you... Xiao Huanhuan will be misbehaving if she cries again, Nian Beast will take you Aww - I ate it in one bite.

Chang Huan was so frightened that he didn't dare to shed tears anymore, sobbed a few times in a low voice, forced a smile on his face, and said, Uncle, I won't cry anymore.Wasn't Nian Beast chased away by firecrackers?Will it come back?

The facial expressions and questions made him and Axun look at each other and smile, having a good time.

Your second uncle and I can only choose one, who do you choose?

Chang Huan never gave him an answer to this question until today.

Yang Yan withdrew his thoughts, and gently patted Chang Huan's shoulder with slightly trembling fingers, as if thousands of words were already in it.

"Uncle, I want to go home." Chang Huan said, and let go of Yang Yan's embrace.

She wanted to leave this place of right and wrong that left her nowhere to go, wanted to go back to Anpingtang, and wanted to see Ah Cuo.

Chang Huan walked out, Yang Yan accompanied her.

Seeing that Yang Yan hadn't returned, Lin Xun went out and saw the two of them walking towards the gate without saying a word. Knowing what happened, he hurried back to the front hall and grabbed the cloak that Hongying brought by his side, and ran to follow.

The street is empty, there are no people, only the boundless, lonely wandering.

Lin Xun chased after him, wrapping the cloak around Chang Huan as he walked.

"What happened? Why did you go back without saying anything?" Lin Xun asked, but no one answered.

Lin Xun pulled Yang Yan past him and slowed down.Only then did Yang Yan whisper what he saw.

Chang Huan staggered without stopping, leaving the two of them behind.

After listening to Yang Yan's narration, Lin Xun wanted to step forward to explain it, but Yang Yan pulled him over and comforted him, "She needs to calm down now, she needs time... or wait..."

When they arrived at the entrance of the backyard of Anping Hall, the figure in white did not appear.

What caught her eyes and hurt her was the woman in black who was still kneeling on the spot, facing the gate.

Chang Huan froze, not knowing what to think and what to do.

Black silk black dresses were dyed with white snow one after another, and red hair bands fluttered on their chests in the wind.

Chang Huan looked at the shivering person in the heavy snow, half-closed his eyes, but the expression on his face was still so stubborn.

Not to think too much, Chang Huan ran over with a little effort, took off the cloak again, wrapped it around her, and blamed, "Why are you so stupid, why don't you hide when it's snowing so much?"

The warm cloak is like the warmest existence in the winter snow in the cold night.

Chen Yang raised his head slowly, opened his eyes and saw Chang Huan, a stiff smile slowly appeared on his blue lips.

Seems to meet again, overjoyed, but hard to express.

As Chang Huan said, he was about to help her up.

But Chen Yang's body was already stiff, and he didn't want to move. His teeth were chattering, and he repeated, "Master... I said it... The lady didn't agree... The villain... The villain just kept...kneeling down... .”

When Chang Huan heard this, he became very angry, looked at her condescendingly, and said, "Master—Master—why do you only think of him, and don't feel sorry for yourself? Why don't you think about you?" Family members, your parents... how sad and sad they would be if they saw you humiliating yourself like this..."

Why such a desperate attachment?Is Murong Ji really worth your life so much?

Chen Yang stopped talking immediately, lowered his eyes, was silent for a while, and then said, "Eight years old..."

Chang Huan didn't know why, so he repeated, "Eight years old?"

"My parents...sold me...to...Ren Yazi..." Chen Yang looked at Chang Huan with reddened eyes and said, "I am eight years old..."

Chang Huan was stunned after listening, then slowly squatted down and looked at Chen Yang.

Tears on the face, wounds in the eyes, struggling to get rid of the past, and a warm and desolate heart.

It turns out that the same people who have fallen in the end of the world have the same sadness that has no place to rest.

It turned out that the persistence and stubbornness of the person in front of me was also a disguise.

The two were silent for a long time.

Chang Huan finally reached out to wipe away the tears from the corners of her eyes.Sliding the fingertips over the eye-catching mole of tears, it actually hurt her heart so much at this moment.

Chen Yang said intermittently, "Master...and Master...saved me...taken in...I...my life...they gave me..."

Chang Huan asked what Yang Yan had asked her before, "Is it worth it?"

Chen Yang said, "It's worth-to-"

Word by word, like saying the most sacred oath.His eyes are firm and his tone is sonorous.

Chang Huan suddenly turned his head, not daring to look at Chen Yang again.Just because of that look, she felt sore in her heart, but she was powerless to resist.

"I promise you...you can get up..."

A soft word seems to be a rare kindling.After hearing this, Chen Yang seemed to have hope rekindled in his eyes.

Chang Huan stood up helplessly, and helped Chen Yang's stiff body to stand up.

When Chang Huan turned his head, he found Yang Yan and Lin Xun standing behind him for a long time.

Then, she realized that Ah Cuo was standing quietly at the entrance of the backyard, holding the door frame, his eyes were red.

It's just that when the four eyes met, before Chang Huan could open his mouth and stepped forward, An Cuo turned around and walked towards the layman.

At the door frame, a small hole was left empty due to the sawdust being dug off by fingers.

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The author has something to say:

I don't know what to write anymore. . .I wrote aimlessly, and my thoughts flowed out to the next text, the next paragraph, and the next chapter.

As a person with past pain, I hope that children all over the world can care for their parents and stop suffering from those heavy sorrows.

Some things, already do not know how to say. . .

All languages ​​are so powerless. . .