Calculation rules for second-hand goods and second-hand forces

"what!"

Zhao Xiaofu fell off the sofa with a thud.

Opening his eyes, he patted his knees and got up from the ground annoyed: Damn, I can fall like this even in a dream!

But the dream was too mysterious, and I forgot it as soon as I woke up.

What was the dream about?

While thinking about it, Yan Luoqing passed by the living room with the dishes, and the smell of meat wafted over.

"Are you ready to eat?" Zhao Xiaofu rubbed his eyes, got up to serve the food for the two of them, and muttered, "Sleepy."

Yan Luoqing looked at him strangely: "When will you not be sleepy?" I saw you sleeping all day long.

"..." Zhao Xiaofu concentrated on eating without making a sound.To be exact, he was so sleepy that he didn't even have the energy to speak.

This rib is good...

Zhao Xiaofu found the New World, and his spirits were lifted. Pidianpidian quickly moved his chopsticks to the fattest and juiciest rib on the far left of the plate, but unexpectedly met the chopsticks on the opposite side. Fight.

But this time the opponent retreated without a fight. After a short meal, he immediately turned to attack the winter melon on another plate.

Zhao Xiaofu successfully picked up the ribs, put it to his mouth thoughtfully, and inadvertently some memories swept over and flew in his mind.

That night, in the car, the...

After chewing and chewing, although the meat is delicious and the taste is strong, eating it is not as joyful as before, and there is also a weird taste that cannot be described, just like eating an apple just eaten, but find that half of the apple in your hand has half The feeling of a bug corpse.

After a long time, I came up with a sentence: "Hey, how can you cook so many dishes?"

Yan Luoqing took a sip of water: "I don't know."

"Damn, you can do it from birth?" Zhao Xiaofu disagreed.

"It is said that anyone with an IQ above 60 can do it."

Zhao Xiaofu snorted: "Nonsense, I don't know how. How many men usually know how to cook?"

Ignoring his IQ, Yan Luoqing chewed on the winter melon, "Would you like to eat it or not." What a lot of nonsense.

"I remember reading a survey somewhere that 85% of men who can cook are gay." Of course, don't believe it, it's just made up.Zhao Xiaofu finally got to the point of entry, he secretly glanced at the opposite side: I saw that guy was expressionless, indifferent, and continued to chew the ribs in his mouth.

Zhao Xiaofu persevered and chased after him courageously: "You can cook so many dishes, so...you are glass?" After speaking, he couldn't help asking himself:...Is it too straightforward?

"..." Yan Luoqing was speechless for a long while, a ferocious smile appeared on his face little by little, and slowly dumped the dishes one by one into the trash can, his teeth were shining, "Think I didn't do it."

As a result, Zhao Xiaofu caught a cold and ate a whole bowl of plain rice that night.

After eating the last grain of rice, he burst into tears at Yan's closed door, and then silently threw a Xiaoqiang into Yan's beloved thermos.

the next night.

Zhao Xiaofu was full, lying on the sofa watching martial arts movies with gusto.

"This man is terribly evil, why didn't mother let me finish him with a knife?" The young man looked at the collapsed old man on the ground with hatred, and said.

Zhao Xiaofu shook his leg: there is adultery.

"Boy, in fact... he is your father!" The old lady first acted sadly, and then became distraught, "I think I was with him by the Daming Lake back then..."

Zhao Xiaofu was secretly excited: Sure enough, there is!

Suddenly there was a sound of "哧——" and the camera blurred. In a blink of an eye, the old lady was gone, and there was only a dignified man in a suit sitting in front of the stage and reading a manuscript:

"According to Xinhua News Agency, today in Iraq..."

Zhao Xiaofu was taken aback, then turned his head: Yan Luoqing is holding the remote control...

"Is there someone like you? I see it well! Change it back."

Yan Luoqing sat down next to him, with a nonchalant expression on her face, "I'll watch the news for five minutes."

"...I came first." Zhao Xiaofu couldn't understand his overbearing.

Yan Luoqing: "That kind of TV series can guess the future after watching the front, and you will die if you watch it for less than 5 minutes?"

"You don't need to read this kind of news, but you can guess what's behind it. If you don't read it, you will die?"

"Can you guess it?" Yan Luoqing sneered.

Zhao Xiaofu hummed the ending song of the news broadcast, "Every ending is like this."

Yan Luoqing stared at the TV screen intently, waved her hands, "It's news time, not funny time." Thinking of something, she turned to look at him with a half-smile, "Do you want me to give you a valid reason?"

Zhao Xiaofu despised him: "Say!"

Yan Luoqing paused every word: "The TV is mine."

"..." Zhao Xiaofu's face twitched, and he began to pinch his watch.

5 minute later.

Zhao Xiaofu kicked his leg, "It's 5 minutes and 38 seconds, hey, you're timed out."

Yan Luoqing kicked back, "Noisy hair."

Zhao Xiaofu crossed his legs: "You don't believe what you say."

Yan Luoqing stared at the TV screen intently.

"Go back on your word and get fat."

Yan Luoqing stared at the TV screen intently.

"It's a happy ending."

Yan Luoqing stared at the TV screen with relish.

"You don't believe what you say."

"Haven't I already said that?" Yan Luoqing smiled.

"..."

"No more words?"

"It's gone." Zhao Xiaofu got up angrily and went back to his room.

Yan Luoqing took his hand and put the remote control into his hand.

Zhao Xiaofu waved his hands grandly, "I don't want to watch it, sir! It's not rare."

"Forget it if you don't look at it." Yan Luoqing reached out to take back the remote control.

Zhao Xiaofu tightened the remote control and shook it away, "Get out." He sat back and tuned the channel happily.

The camera jumps back, and there is a pool of blood, the old man is lying in the middle of the blood, and the old lady is lying on top of him, howling and crying: "Yulang~Yulang~"

The young man stood holding a sword, his complexion was pale, and the edge of his sword was dripping red.

The subtitles went up, and the ending song floated up.

Zhao Xiaofu lamented: I missed the exciting part~!

Yan Luoqing laughed there: "Dog blood."

Zhao Xiaofu muttered, "It's so poor."

"Want to quarrel?" Yan Luoqing raised her eyebrows.

Zhao Xiaofu looked at him in surprise: "Haven't we been arguing for a long time?"

Yan Luoqing looked at him and smiled, but didn't speak.

Zhao Xiaofu shuddered reflexively: "Can you stare at other places and smile? Don't look at me, I beg you."

"Your fucking temper is getting bigger and bigger." Yan Luoqing concluded his statement.

"Hehe, it sounds like you have a good temper."

Yan Luoqing said seriously: "I have a bad temper because I have work pressure."

Not to be outdone, Zhao Xiaofu said, "I have pressure in life."

"The clothes have been piled up in the washing machine for two days," Yan Luoqing reminded friendlyly, "The dishes and chopsticks were not washed tonight, and my room was not cleaned for a week."

Zhao Xiaofu: "..." You don't understand, it's because you haven't done anything that you are under pressure.

Yan Luoqing was thoughtful, "By the way, what else do you do all day long besides eating, sleeping, playing games and watching TV?"

……To the restroom.Zhao Xiaofu answered in his heart, but he didn't dare to say it out, and he responded with his mouth: "Careful." Suddenly, something came to mind, "Do you have time to spend with your girlfriend besides going to and from work, eating and watching TV all day long? That's right. , you don't have a girlfriend, do you?"

Yan Luoqing sneered: "Can you control it?"

Zhao Xiaofu added fuel to the flames: "Then why don't you hurry up and find someone? It's easy for a grown man to go astray without a partner..."

Yan Luoqing laughed loudly: "Then tell me how far you have gone astray?"

"I'm telling you serious." Zhao Xiaofu is serious.

"Are you planning to jump from the stage of the dog blood martial arts theater to the midnight dating interview?"

Zhao Xiaofu became angry: "You fucking jumped from the rigid news network to the cold joke channel!"

"That's it." Yan Luoqing stood up and picked up the thermos in a lukewarm manner.

Zhao Xiaofu's eyes lit up, and he remained calm, "There are newly bought tea leaves in the cabinet below."

"I don't drink tea." Yan Luoqing poured water into the cup.

Of course I know you don't drink tea...

This guy only has the habit of soaking red dates to drink warm water.

Zhao Xiaofu clutched the handle tightly, shook his legs, and tried his best to suppress the impulse of ecstasy.

There was the sound of drinking water and chewing from behind, and 2 minutes later Yan Luoqing muttered in a low voice: "Why is the skin of this red date so hard..."

Zhao Xiaofu quickly rushed back to the room and locked the door.