818 The goddess who threw me N times

Floor 1337: Ye Luo knows that autumn colors reflect water

Too strict discipline not only made me precocious, but also terribly rational and calm.Early on, I was aware of the world's affairs, kept my head on the edge of chaos, and knew to say the right thing and do the right thing at the right time.I tidy up the room and organize myself meticulously. When my parents occasionally come home, I will warmly welcome them, serve tea and water, ask for warmth, just like a pug dog; I will use pocket money to buy cushions for my mother so that she can play cards without hurting her waist; After my father was drunk, I cooked a bowl of hangover soup, endured the nausea and cleaned up the mess he vomited; more often, I was studying hard, getting various firsts, and constantly taking piano exams, because only in this way would they be able to get a little Only when you are satisfied will you stop the endless beating, scolding and ridicule.

My situation gradually improved, but the string in my heart was still tense, and I didn't dare to relax in the slightest.Underneath the seemingly calm surface of the lake are turbulent waves, they will attack sooner or later, and they will not stop just because you do well.Finally, there was a fuse. That day I forgot to bring my Chinese textbook home and borrowed Su Xiaomi's to finish my homework.The two sat in front of the piano laughing and playing casual tunes.There was a loud knock on the door, and a tall and thin boy stood in front of the door, lowered his head and said shyly, "Ye Qiushui, I saw that you forgot to bring your textbooks, so I brought them here for you!"

I looked at this strange face and was stunned for a moment, but I took it over and politely said thank you!He smiled and said you're welcome, and disappeared into the corridor in a flash.Su Xiaomi was still teasing behind her, saying that my peach blossoms are blooming, this handsome guy is very sought-after Barabara.A burst of low air pressure hit, subconsciously I felt bad.My father came out of the bedroom with a dark face, and said darkly, "Xiaomi, you go home first, I have something to tell Qiushui." Su Xiaomi replied innocently, and made an appointment to come over tomorrow Go to school with me.I looked at her helplessly and hoped that she would not leave. My parents never hit me in front of outsiders.But she hopped away.The door slammed shut, the room was dimly lit and the air was stuffy like hell, and I didn't go to school the next day.The pain on my body is secondary, the abuse from my parents beat my heart like a whip,

"Little vixen, you have learned to seduce men at such a young age!"

"It's no wonder that people who are neatly dressed all day have to comb their hair several times!"

"Let me see you talking to boys again, and I'll break your legs!"

Hehe, that's okay, I don't like those mischievous boys, and I don't like those shy and cute girls. I like it, and there is only one person from the beginning to the end.

At first, there seemed to be no difference, at most she was a little more attached to her.When I can't see her, I will be flustered, and my heart will bump like a deer when I hold her hand, and I can't help laughing when I see her.For this reason, Su Xiaomi often wondered: "Is there something on my face again? Huh! Always making fun of me!"

I also wondered if it was an illusion caused by being with her for too long, and I also tried to make more friends, and I even started to chat up and play with boys, and I hoped that my strange thoughts could quietly change and disappear.But in vain.Human beings are so powerful, they can control everything and destroy everything, but they cannot destroy love alone.I also wanted to secretly alienate her, but the strong yearning made people want to cry.I need her like I need sunshine and air.I would be unhappy seeing Su Xiaomi talking to boys, and I would be unhappy seeing her having fun with other girls.I must be sick.

Boys love girls, girls love boys, precocious children have started the most primitive chasing game, and all kinds of sexual news are circulating in the campus.A little boy got angry because his girlfriend cheated on him, so he asked a third party to have a brave duel after school.As a result, her head was broken and bleeding, and she lay on the bed for more than half a month and transferred to another school in despair; a girl fainted in the toilet after taking sleeping pills because she had a crush on her teacher, and was taken away by an ambulance for gastric lavage. Transferred away; a couple in the next class were caught by their parents on a secret date outside, chased and ran for a few streets, and then broke up with tears in their arms.How tragic is the love in adolescence.

I'm a girl, but I'm in love with a girl.In the campus full of peach blossoms, I am undoubtedly an outlier.I told myself that I was a pervert, a monster, and I even suspected that long-term abuse caused psychological hidden diseases.I began to feel inferior, and began to be afraid of every strange look in my eyes. I was afraid that if I didn't pay attention, I would be spied on by others, and the most secret secret in my heart would be revealed to the world.I'm not afraid of being seen through, I'm just afraid that Su Xiaomi will be terrified and afraid that she will stay away from me and stop playing with me when she finds out.

At that time, I also started to receive all kinds of confessions, most of which were embarrassing.Su Xiaomi always bravely stood in front to help me fend off all kinds of monsters and monsters.Occasionally she would ask curiously, Qiushui, this boy seems to be pretty good, are you really not tempted?Hehe, the only person in this world who can make my heart flutter is you.But I dare not say this sentence.I thought I would keep this secret until I was old; I thought I could smile and watch her get married and have children, as long as I came to see my best friend from time to time; I even made up my mind not to marry for the rest of my life and wait by her side.

When she was 16 years old, she drank alcohol for the first time. Su Xiaomi drank too much and lay there talking nonsense.Talking and talking, he turned over and rolled over, his eyes were shining like two little stars.As if he had foreseen something, his heart suddenly jumped violently.She kissed me lightly on the mouth, and muttered in a low voice: "Qiu Shui, I seem to like you!" At that moment, the joy in my heart reached its peak, and the whole brain shut down. Is this true? of it?Could it be that she also has the same thoughts as me, could it be that she also secretly likes me?So we are the same kind?So I'm not a monster anymore?Can girls really love girls?After many twists and turns, what I uttered was, "Will this be abnormal?" This is my long-standing doubt. I wanted to talk to her passionately, but she didn't say anything. He fell asleep on one side, maybe he was drunk.

The next morning, when she asked about what she said last night, she said that she was so drunk that she forgot everything.I thought about it and didn't expose her.Maybe she was just talking drunk, maybe she wasn't ready yet.And how can I fly moths to the flames and throw myself into an almost unimaginable love without hesitation.There is a pervert in the family, you don't have to think about how your parents will react, they would rather beat me to death than let the scandal spread.In the past, I was not afraid of death, maybe I could be freed easily after death.But now I am particularly afraid of death, because after death, I will never see Su Xiaomi again.

Honestly, I made a stupid decision.I started working hard to save money.I saved every penny of pocket money, breakfast money every day, and even started to lie about all kinds of books, exam papers, school uniforms.When my father was drunk, there was no money in his pocket, and I would touch it when I helped him take off his coat and put him to bed.So strictly speaking, I am not a good person, and I will do whatever it takes to achieve my goals.But I don't care what other people think, I only want Su Xiaomi to like her.

I want to elope with her, leave this secular and dirty world, go to the deep mountains, go to nameless towns, go to places where no one knows us, and be together happily.You can hug and kiss unscrupulously, and you can walk through every spring, autumn, winter and summer holding hands.So I need money, a lot of money, travel expenses, settling expenses, and living expenses.I don't know the exact number, but I just know that I have to keep saving.

I didn't tell Su Xiaomi about all this.If this love is a sin, I can bear it alone, and I don't want her to have any psychological burden.Her biggest reaction at that time was Qiushui, why did you lose weight again? Qiushui, you haven't bought me any snacks recently.

Hehe, we were so naive when we were young!Come up with some simple and childish ideas, and then work hard persistently, thinking that one day they will come true.But I never thought about how the two 16-year-old girls would live when they escaped, and I even forgot to ask Su Xiaomi what she thought.Every day, I count the money in the biscuit box under the bed before I go to sleep with peace of mind.From winter to spring, I already have a little savings, but I still greedily tell myself to wait and save a little more, and the future will be easier.

But it was too late after all.When I was busy in the library looking for destinations, drawing routes, calculating expenses, and struggling to plan our future, Su Xiaomi met Mu Yunyang, a big boy with a sunny smile.Then, they fell in love.

The moment I received the call, it was like a thunderbolt from the blue sky. I couldn't stand upright and fell to the ground. All the hopes and hopes in my heart turned into bubbles. In an instant, all my efforts were meaningless, and even my life was empty.

That night, with the patter of rain, I hugged the biscuit box under the bed and wept bitterly, and my sobs were lost in the majestic heavy rain.I cried and cried until I wet the money in the box, each of which was passed by Mosuo countless times, and the total was 170 yuan and 820 cents.With only [-] yuan and [-] cents left, I can confess to Su Xiaomi and take her away.After all, I am too naive, after all, I am too greedy.

That was the saddest time I cried in my life, until I cried until my whole body was exhausted.Suddenly I feel very unwilling, Xiaomi is obviously mine, I can't just give up like this.Or maybe because I gave up on her, my existence has no meaning.

I have not slept all night, my conscience is constantly fighting against the darkness in my heart.Bless her or take her back, It'saquestion.

The author has something to say: I'm sorry, I'm too busy today, and the coding is a bit hasty and confusing.

Well, in fact, the goddess is also a bit stupid, but when we were young, why didn't we do one or two stupid things?

See you next week, don't miss me too much~~~