please love me again

"Do you hate me?"

When Li Yao asked, Dong Chang froze.

Before reuniting with Li Yao, he had both resentment and hatred towards Li Yao, but after seeing Li Yao again, Dong Chang didn't know what complicated feelings the six-year resentment had fermented into.

If loving him is a habit, this habit has already penetrated into the bone marrow.

If you really hate it, how can you take the initiative to approach it?

Seeing Dong Chang's silence, Li Yao thought that he really hated him, so he grabbed Dong Chang's arm tightly.

"Li Yao?" Seeing that his expression was wrong, Dong Chang frowned worriedly.

"Don't hate me," Li Yao was confused and emotionally unstable, "I confess to you..."

"Confession?" Dong Chang seemed to have heard something unexpected, "Confession of what?"

"My, my first time," Li Yao said blankly, "Actually, I planned to tell you back then..."

"I don't want to hear it." Dong Chang said decisively.

Why bring this up after what happened just now?

Dong Chang didn't want to hear Li Yao's first time, nor did he want to see Li Yao open the wound by himself.

"You know, I was still very infatuated with the teacher at that time." Li Yao looked at Dong Chang's left hand without focusing. "The matter of the teacher's marriage gave me a big blow."

"..." Dong Chang was silent and continued to listen to him.

"At that time I was very confused, and I happened to be pulled by a man, so..." Li Yao said, "Teacher, he always treats me like a child, I... I just want to get rid of the identity of a child... The first time I really, I was really scared, it hurt like hell, I wanted to save face, and I didn't dare to scream...I hated myself very much during that time, no one accepted me, and I had no place to stay...Until I met you..."

Dong Chang stared at Li Yao, Li Yao's eyes became a little sober, "I know, in fact, you are very gentle to me, if it weren't for you, I would definitely leave a psychological shadow... But after being with you, I only know you I have a virginity complex, if you knew about my past, you would not have liked me from the very beginning, even if you told me that you liked me, I would feel panicked... because someone said, I can't go away with you In the long run...so I..."

"Being with you, I have always been very uneasy," Li Yao took a breath, tears welling in his eyes, "I know that sooner or later we will break up, and I know that you will not accept me in the end, so I... I never thought of being with you seriously from the very beginning, and I was self-willed from the very beginning, because I wanted to test you, to test how far you can accept me..."

"Test me?" Dong Chang finally showed a surprised expression, "Then what conclusion did you draw? Is it because I am not tolerant enough? Six years ago, you left me because I failed the last test? If six years ago, If I pretend to tolerate you, you won't leave me?"

"No, it's not like that..." Li Yao didn't know how to explain. If there were no calls from home six years ago, Li Yao would not have left Dongchang so soon.

But Li Yao didn't want to push the matter to external causes.

"I left you because..." Li Yao wiped away tears, and told the truth, "At that time, my father's company went bankrupt, and I felt that I was not good enough for you."

Li Yao spoke calmly, but Dong Chang was shocked.

"I know that at that time, as long as I am willing to apologize to you, give in to you, or even act like a baby, you will probably forgive me and even help me at all costs." Li Yao grabbed the clothes on his chest, "But I can't, so Doing it would hurt my self-esteem and I would be ashamed to ask you for help."

A moment of silence.

Li Yao finished crying and lowered his head, waiting for Dong Chang's trial.

"Do you know why?" Dong Chang finally responded to him, "Why do you feel ashamed to ask me for help?"

"Why..." Li Yao raised his head, Dong Chang didn't show any expression, but there was obvious sadness in his eyes.

"Because you don't like me," Dong Chang said, feeling as if he was stabbing his heart open with a knife, "so you don't trust me enough, and you don't want to rely on me."

Li Yao opened his eyes wide.

Dong Chang showed a wry smile.

"Obviously with you, but I have been in unrequited love."

Yes, unrequited love, Dong Chang thought, so this word is the most suitable for him.

Dong Chang knew that he fell in love with Li Yao, an awkward and face-saving troublemaker. Li Yao had never said love words to him, nor had he cuddled up to him.

Dong Chang has been lying to himself: he is just out of character, he is just too embarrassed to say it.

Dong Chang never dared to think - he doesn't like himself.

It's a very cheap thing to like someone. I know how bad, perverse, and dislike him, but I just like him obsessively.

Dong Chang never thought about what would happen if he gave up his obsession with Li Yao, but now, Dong Chang has this idea.

Li Yao doesn't like himself, everything is his own illusion.

Just understanding this, Dong Chang felt like his heart was about to break.

What's the point of going on like this?Li Yao was tied, but Li Yao's heart couldn't be tied. In the end, the two of them were still suffering and struggling.

"Forget it," Dong Chang sighed softly, "The two of us, we don't want to have anything in the future..."

Before Dong Chang finished speaking, Li Yao grabbed his sleeve.

Li Yao opened his eyes wide, with a heartbreakingly sad expression.

Dong Chang swallowed what he wanted to say.

Why are you showing me this expression now!

"I..." Li Yao's voice was so small that he didn't want others to hear him, "I have no home..."

Li Yao is not good at asking for help, but Dong Chang can understand that this is Li Yao begging himself.

Dong Chang had an unknown fire, angry with himself, and shaken by Li Yao.

"You are like this again, and you are still like this then." Dong Chang grabbed Li Yao's collar, his expression began to twist, "If you want to go, go completely! I am about to let go, and you come to hold me again What are you doing!"

"I, I don't know!" Li Yao cried again, "I know you annoy me, I know that if I'm with you, I'll get into an argument if I don't speak more than ten sentences, but I..."

With impulsive strength, Li Yao threw himself into Dong Chang's arms abruptly, and buried his face in Dong Chang's chest.

"Damn..." Dong Chang gritted his teeth viciously, but still couldn't bear to push Li Yao away.

Because this was the first time Li Yao took the initiative to throw himself into his arms.

Dong Chang struggled for less than three seconds before hugging Li Yao tightly.

Mingming was very angry, so angry that he wanted to crush Li Yao, but Dong Chang still hugged him seriously, because it had been a long, long time, and he hadn't hugged him properly.

Li Yao closed his eyes and saw endless darkness.

He had a hunch that his own existence might destroy this man.