muddy boy

When the little electric donkey drove into the family home, the number of elderly members of the council at the door of the barbershop dropped sharply due to the cold weather. Chen Linhu didn't see the old man, so Chen Linhu rode the car back to the cavern of the second unit of the third building.

"There is still some electricity left, I will recharge it tomorrow," Zhang Xun immediately rolled out of the back seat as soon as the car stopped, his fingers were stiff from clutching Chen Linhu's clothes, and he moved his fingers dazedly. While walking upstairs, "Lock it, I'm afraid I won't be able to find the keyhole again."

Chen Linhu felt that his clothes were loosened. He was still sitting on the electric car, and Zhang Xun had already rushed to the steps leading to the second floor.

The speed was like being bitten by a dog. Chen Linhu was shocked but also a little confused. With a "hmm", he squatted on the ground and locked the little eDonkey.

Zhang Xun's footsteps were getting higher and higher, and Chen Linhu's doubts slowly developed into displeasure amidst the footsteps that did not turn back and went up.

I don't know what I'm upset about, maybe I'm dissatisfied with Zhang Xun's behavior like calling a substitute driver.

He still had a cigarette from Zhang Xun in his mouth, but he didn't even have a lighter. Didn't Zhang Xun know that he didn't have a lighter?Just leave without asking.

The sound of footsteps above the head came back after walking halfway. Zhang Xun leaned on the handrail and said to Chen Linhu: "Hey, you haven't taken your pants away yet. Come to my house."

Chen Linhu jumped up from the ground: "Oh."

"Don't jump, I'm dizzy," Zhang Xun smiled, "and the fried rice in the car basket, help me bring it up."

Although Zhang Xun remembers fried rice more clearly than others, Chen Linhu's depression still dissipated. He took his bag and fried rice from the car basket, and rushed to Zhang Xun in two or three steps.

"I drank or you drank." Zhang Xun was taken aback by the speed at which he rushed up, "It's quite exciting."

Before Chen Linhu said anything, Mrs. Feng's voice came from behind him: "Oh, it's late at night, have you been drinking?"

The two turned their heads, Xiao Feng and his wife also went upstairs with supper in their hands, Mr. Xiao Feng smiled with them.

"Look at the smell on you two." Mrs. Feng wrinkled her nose, "Why are you drinking? Where did you drink it? How did you two get together?"

Zhang Xun was stunned, but he was able to answer fluently: "It's just drinking together, it's boring to drink alone."

"Really," Mrs. Xiao Feng smiled, "Why are you both going to the second floor to play all night?"

Chen Linhu was impatient with her inquiring attitude, and he didn't say a word, pushing Zhang Xun to his house.

Brother Hu in the house had heard Zhang Xun's footsteps long ago, and was meowing inside. Zhang Xun remembered that there was a beast waiting to be fed at home. He opened the door and explained to Xiao Feng and his wife casually: "He Come to my house to get the things that Uncle Chen left here before."

Chen Linhu paused, his trousers were at Zhang Xun's place, but it had nothing to do with Old Chen.

This explanation seems to draw a reasonable boundary between the two.

Mr. Xiao Feng also pushed his wife who wanted to be talkative upstairs, and nodded embarrassingly at Chen Linhu.

As soon as the door was opened, I saw the orange cat lying on the ground with its belly lifted like a roadblock, with a serious face, condemning Zhang Xun's late return with his eyes.

"You're hungry, the rice bowl is fucking cleaner than my wallet," Zhang Xun bent down and scratched the fat cat's stomach, "I'll open the can for you later."

Chen Linhu followed into the room, and saw Fat Mao sniffing Zhang Xun's hand, rolling up and down from the ground, and walked away with disgust on his face.

"How did it escape?" Chen Linhu asked.

"I hate the smell of alcohol on my body," Zhang Xun walked to the bedroom after changing his shoes, "Come in first, I seem to have put the pants together in the closet."

He didn't look back at Chen Linhu, and walked straight to the bedroom, almost hitting the door frame in a daze.

Chen Linhu sighed behind him, Zhang Xun felt a little ashamed, and didn't want to turn around, and got into the bedroom.

Seeing Zhang Xun like this, Chen Linhu didn't expect him to do anything. He took the slippers from the shoe rack to change, and put the fried rice in the kitchen temporarily before going into the bedroom.

"You are familiar with this room." Zhang Xun had already lit another cigarette, holding Chen Linhu's pants in one hand, and walked in when he saw the other party, and smiled vaguely, "Do you not like the house on the fourth floor?" Husband and wife?"

Chen Linhu took his pants, and was a little embarrassed when he heard this sentence. He didn't expect him to be so obvious: "No, she just keeps asking."

Mrs. Xiao Feng is not a bad person, because she works in a nearby clinic, and from time to time she gives plasters and stomach-strengthening pills to the elderly and children in the neighborhood.

Just love to ask questions.

In the past, Chen Linhu was extremely disgusted with this kind of thing, but after the old Chen showed his back with the plaster that Mrs. Xiao Feng gave him and asked him to help scratch it, Chen Linhu felt a little uncomfortable.Mrs. Xiao Feng knew about Lao Chen's headache and back pain when she was gossiping with others.

It's not that I don't feel disgusted anymore, but I no longer feel that other people's faults are an intolerable sin.

It's hard to explain this feeling, but Chen Linhu attributed it to being short-handed.But he felt that it was not completely like this, it was very complicated, Chen Linhu had to think about it.

"Don't think about it," Zhang Xun said with a smile seeing Chen Linhu's face wrinkled, "The four sides are straight, did you think about this kind of twisted and twisted human nature?"

Chen Linhu didn't care about the drunk man who was shaking every time he stood: "The fried rice is in the kitchen, if you don't eat it at night, remember to put it in the refrigerator."

"Okay," Zhang Xun looked at Chen Linhu, even if he was dizzy, he could see the expression of "what an unworthy adult" on Chen Linhu's face, and clicked, "Do you know what is in your trouser pocket? I'm washing clothes It came out when it was time."

Chen Linhu was stunned.

"I put it back after washing," Zhang Xun said, "Touch your pocket."

Chen Linhu stuffed his hand into the pocket of his trousers, and took out a small card.

The card had already been washed once, but it was not washed bad because it was relatively hard, but it was very mushy. It took Chen Linhu a long time to identify it before he remembered what it was: "The card from the milk tea shop near my high school."

"I didn't realize that you love milk tea so much." Zhang Xun pulled up a chair and sat down.

"Normal." Chen Linhu frowned, and he remembered that it was stuffed into his hand by the girl he had talked with on the day of graduation, saying that he had collected all the pieces and wanted to treat him to the last cup of milk tea.

He was rushing to the graduation ceremony at the time. He didn't want to take it at first, but he couldn't stand the other party standing still, so he had to take it. He just stuffed it into his trouser pocket and left it alone.

Zhang Xun observed his facial expression, contacted the words on the back of the card, and guessed it all. He couldn't help being amused: "Did you not look at this thing carefully, turn it over and have a look."

Chen Linhu turned over obediently, and by the light of the lamp on Zhang Xun's desk, he could see clearly the blurred words above, his eyebrows were almost clumped together.

"It's a pity," Zhang Xun flicked the ash into the ashtray and teased, "What a great opportunity to rekindle the old relationship, I didn't grasp it."

The point card was already crumpled, Chen Linhu grabbed it casually after reading it, and threw it into the trash can.

"I wouldn't go if I saw it at the time." Chen Linhu grabbed the lighter on Zhang Xun's desk and lit the cigarette in his mouth, "It's the end when I'm here."

His tone was very flat, as it should be.

Zhang Xun wasn't too surprised. Based on his understanding of Chen Linhu, people with straight sides will only move forward. You can count on him to stop for you, but once the relationship is over, he will continue on the road. And there is absolutely no room for maneuver.

In Chen Linhu's world view, there is only one way to go forward in life, and it is still a one-way street.

"Just ask a question," Zhang Xun asked curiously, "According to what you said before, you didn't talk to him for a month, so why did you break up?"

Chen Linhu found that Zhang Xun really couldn't control his mouth after drinking too much, so he couldn't help but glance at Zhang Xun more.

If Mrs. Xiao Feng had to change this, he probably turned around and left.But if Zhang Xun asked, he felt nothing.

It's so fucking weird that his position has changed again and again.

After being silent for a while, Chen Linhu still said: "I don't know. She said that after contacting me, she felt that I was different from what she imagined, so she broke up."

"Ah," it's not that Zhang Xun can't understand, as a child, his temperament is unstable and he likes to be casual. Even when Chen Linhu mentions this matter now, he still looks very puzzled. It's a little funny and a little pitiful , pointing to the bed and telling Chen Linhu to sit down, "Are you sad? Poor guy, I don't know why he was kicked."

Chen Linhu was speechless with his tone of coaxing the second idiot, but he still sat on the bed and pulled the ashtray to a place within reach of both of them to flick the ash.

"It doesn't matter, she said she likes me in front of so many people, so it's okay if she doesn't agree," Chen Linhu didn't care much about this, smoking a cigarette and looking at the orange cat who slipped in the door, "I just think it's really strange, why people can unilaterally draw up An image was added to my head, and I said I liked me. Later, I unilaterally felt that I did not match the image, so I left. Then I regretted it.”

Zhang Xun's alcoholism was blown all the way by the wind, not only did it not subside, but it was even more squeezed into the blood.

In Chen Linhu's flat and deep voice, his thoughts drifted away, thinking that this person is still young, he doesn't even understand what "like" is, let alone the ups and downs of human emotions, and he doesn't accept leaving and regretting.

Perhaps for Chen Linhu, these are all betrayals.These all let him down.

"Let me ask you, Zhang Xun," Chen Linhu said, "if the relationship fades, does it mean that the initial heartbeat and liking are all illusions, the effect of the moon halo fades, the filter disappears, and the relationship disappears. "

"Who said that?" Zhang Xun smiled, "How many people have lived a good life."

"It's just that their halos last longer," Chen Linhu said. "People are different, so the filter products they use should be different."

Just like Lin Hongyu and Chen Xingye, when they are in love, they are both sweet and sweet, and they have to have the same surname to have a child.

Once the relationship fades away, apart from Chen Linhu, there are only two divorce certificates that can prove that the two of them lived together for a period of time.

And it turns out that this kind of emotional brilliance can be transferred, after all, another crystallization has already been produced, which is his younger brother named Chen Tong.

Since this feeling can be weakened, transferred, or even used as a publicity certificate to the world, Chen Linhu thinks it is quite cheap.

Zhang Xun's brain is full of porridge, but even if he doesn't drink at the moment, he feels that he can't answer.

"Maybe," Zhang Xun breathed out a smoke ring in compromise, "I don't know either."

Not only did Chen Linhu not feel disappointed when he couldn't get an answer to the question he asked, but he was a little fortunate instead.

Zhang Xun, like him, doesn't understand these questions.

This proves that increasing age does not make much of a difference.

Tonight, when listening to Zhang Xun and his gang at the dinner table, the feeling of gap was subtly and meanly made up for, and Chen Linhu felt a hint of secret satisfaction.

"If I really like someone in the future, then I hope that my relationship will never fade." Chen Linhu watched the smoke circles spread out in the light, and suddenly said, "Otherwise, the other party and I will be disappointed."

In Chen Linhu's understanding, if you want to treat someone well and gain affection, you should not let others down.

Disappointment is the beginning of all emotional shattering, even if it is very subtle, it is still the first sound of ice cracking.

Zhang Xun felt a little uncomfortable when he heard this sentence.

He had a general understanding of Chen Linhu's family from old Chen Tou's words. The breakup of his parents' relationship left Chen Linhu with a perception that love and family affection were not reliable.If you want to get the approval of your parents, you have to not let others down.

But a forced relationship will not bring a happy family, so Chen Linhu acquiesces to his parents' choice, supports the work of the two, and has nothing to say about the reorganized family.

This has created another cognition, that is, no matter what the ending of the relationship is, it is just a flash of beauty, and only harm is a knife that is permanent and will come sooner or later.

Zhang Xun couldn't find any suitable words. This is different from the students he used to enlighten and understand. Chen Linhu is not his student, nor is he a child waiting for others to comfort him. His cognition has formed his own system and is even very convincing. .

He could only bend down and pat Chen Linhu's knee: "'Emotions' are very complicated, really, because joy, anger, sorrow, joy, love, hatred, love and hatred are all emotions, and 'disappointment' is also a part. Being disappointed, there is emotion, so no matter Whether the ending is good or bad, some people really had a very surging love, which you can't completely deny."

Chen Linhu smelled a smell of alcohol on Zhang Xun's body, mixed with the smell of barbecue. No wonder Mrs. Feng wrinkled her nose in the corridor.

But Chen Linhu didn't think it was too bad.

The strength of Zhang Xun's slap on his knee seemed to have opened up some nerves in him. Chen Linhu couldn't help asking: "Is what Duan Qiao said today true?"

"What?" Zhang Xun didn't respond, "Did you say that I didn't fall in love when I was in school?"

Chen Linhu let out a "huh".

"Really," Zhang Xun relaxed and leaned on the back of the chair, half-closed his eyes and was a little confused, and laughed at himself, "If my father finds out, I will be beaten to death."

Just as Chen Linhu was about to speak, the knock on the door interrupted their conversation.He glanced at Zhang Xun who was already a little sleepy, put the cigarette out in the ashtray, and stood up resignedly to open the door.

When walking past Zhang Xun, there was a gust of wind. Zhang Xun frowned when he smelled his own body, got up from the chair short-circuited, and opened the closet to find a change of clothes, regardless of where Chen Linhu had gone.

It was Mrs. Xiao Feng who knocked on the door, holding a small lunch box in her hand. When Chen Linhu opened the door, she was stunned.

"Oh, you haven't left yet." Mrs. Feng was also a little surprised, "What are you doing here?"

Chen Linhu didn't answer, just looked at her.

"This is for Xiao Zhang," Mrs. Xiao Feng stretched her neck and glanced around the room. She didn't see Zhang Xun, so she handed the small lunch box to Chen Linhu. Rice or something, it’s hard to digest. My family bought a lot just now, so I’ll share it with him, and thank him for helping me repair my bicycle a while ago.”

Chen Linhu's face gradually softened, and he said "Oh" in a low voice.

"Don't play too late," Mrs. Xiao Feng gathered her coat, then stretched her head to look into the room again, "Hey tiger, you play well with Zhang Xun, has he got a girlfriend..."

Chen Linhu was a little amused at her helplessness, and interrupted: "Good night." Then he waved his hand and took it directly to the door.

Outside the door, Mrs. Feng stomped upstairs, muttering unhappily: "Hmph, I'm impatient to ask a few questions, young people nowadays, hmph."

The young man Chen Linhu put the millet porridge on the table, it was still hot, you can drink it while it is hot, after thinking about it, he sealed the fried rice and put it in the refrigerator.

To Chen Linhu's surprise, there were a lot of things in Zhang Xun's refrigerator. In addition to vegetables and fruits, Chen Linhu also recognized Uncle Liao's pickles and old Chen Tou's steamed buns.

Yes, the boss still eats all kinds of meals when he is not young.

Chen Linhu was a little happy, but also a little soft in his heart.

He knew that Zhang Xun was very good, otherwise he wouldn't have all the rice in the refrigerator.

Putting the things together, Chen Linhu ordered while walking to the bedroom: "I put the fried rice in the refrigerator, the porridge on the table—"

The words stopped abruptly halfway through.

Zhang Xun was pulling a jumper and putting it on, because his mind was not clear, and his movements were clumsy and slow, pulling the clothes stuck around his neck and pulling it down.

The light from the lamp hit him, outlining his broad shoulders and narrow waist. His back was straight, and he was already strong and steady like an adult male, without any procrastinating lines, only some broken scars on his shoulders and chest.

Compared with the farce of Zhang Xun falling down in the shower last time, although the light this time is not very clear, Chen Linhu seems to see more, which is more indescribable.

Zhang Xun was probably still in a daze, he didn't pay attention to Chen Linhu, frowning, he struggled to put on his clothes.

It was as if a cloud floated in, gradually erasing the figure from Chen Linhu's sight, erasing it, hiding it, but leaving a clear outline outlined by the sun on his retina.

Chen Linhu coughed.

"Fuck," Zhang Xun said in a slurred voice, "Can you walk a little loudly?! Didn't you see changing clothes?"

"I see," Chen Linhu looked away, "otherwise I would cough."

Zhang Xun couldn't figure out Chen Linhu's bastard logic at the moment, but felt something was wrong, so he gave him a glare.

"You have a scar on your shoulder." Chen Linhu was also a little confused, subconsciously searching for a topic, "From a fight?"

Zhang Xun raised his hand to touch his shoulder, looked at the color on Chen Linhu's forehead, and suddenly smiled: "No." After a pause, he asked, "Do you remember when you were beaten the most?"

Seeing him standing dizzy, Chen Linhu walked over and pushed him on the chair: "Forgot."

I really forgot, there were too many fights.

"I think so," Zhang Xun sat on the chair and reached for the cigarette case again, "because those pains are caused by unimportant people."

His voice was vague and small, and Chen Linhu couldn't hear it clearly, so he bent down slightly: "What?"

Zhang Xun didn't reach the cigarette case, Chen Linhu leaned over in front of him, the light of the desk lamp fell on his lower lip.

With the aftertaste of the wine on his back, Zhang Xun rarely let go, saying whatever came to his mind, and doing whatever came to his mind.

He raised his hand to touch the tip of Chen Linhu's brow, and traced the short scar with his thumb.

"You will forget the pain here sooner or later," Zhang Xun said. "The most painful wound is the wound on the body, the pain on Hun'er, and you can't tell right from wrong."

Chen Linhu only saw Zhang Xun's lips open and close, and what he said seemed to be separated by a layer of membrane. He stared at his face, feeling the warmth of Zhang Xun's fingertips along the gap in his forehead, and burrowed into it.

He touched my scar, Chen Linhu thought, does he know what he is doing?

On second thought, it doesn't seem like a big deal.

But Chen Linhu's mind was still spinning persistently, and it took him a long time to go through what Zhang Xun said just now, vaguely thinking about something wrong.

He was still bent over, getting very close to Zhang Xun, and could feel the alcohol-smelling breath of the other party.

Zhang Xun was a little confused by the feeling of being suppressed by Chen Linhu's heat wave. Realizing that there was a problem with his movements, his hands trembled violently, and he retracted and rubbed his blurred eyes fiercely.

"...the cat is meowing," Zhang Xun said, his voice a little hoarse, "help me open a can for it, the bowl it eats in is in the living room."

Chen Linhu hadn't recovered from the ambiguous light and shadow and the temperature covering his face, he stared fixedly at Zhang Xun's face, trying to see some changes in expression from above.Although I don't know what to see to be satisfied.

The orange cat barked a few more times, and it became more and more heart-piercing. Only then did Chen Linhu straighten up slowly, blinked his dry eyes, and took two steps back as if he was insane: "Where is the can?"

"The drawer above the shoe cabinet." Zhang Xun yawned, turned the chair to the computer and turned it on.

Chen Linhu saw that he suddenly seemed to be okay again, and even knew to turn on the computer. His lips moved, but he didn't say a word, and turned to feed the fat cat.

After opening a box of canned food, Chen Linhu didn't know how much to feed in one meal, so he half pulled it into the rice bowl, and before he could shout, the fat cat rushed over hungry and plunged his head into the bowl.

Chen Linhu crouched on the ground, his thoughts started to move like a pot of porridge just now, and he suddenly realized that there was something wrong in Zhang Xun's words.

I remembered Zhang Xun's previous sentence "I must be beaten to death".

Chen Linhu's heart twitched twice, and suddenly it hurt.

Hit the body, hurt the soul.Chen Linhu felt that these words stuck in his heart.

Think carefully about the cigarette burn mark on Zhang Xun's back, even if he fell to the ground and wrung it, it would take a slap in the face to slap him and make him unable to get up. The boy's Zhang Xun slapped him like this.

Chen Linhu took a breath and stood up, feeling uncomfortable in his heart, and wanted to ask something else, but when he walked back to the bedroom and saw Zhang Xun's back lying on the table, he swallowed it all back.

"Zhang Xun." Chen Linhu called out.

Zhang Xun didn't move, Chen Linhu took a closer look and found that he was already asleep.

The wine is not bad, there is nothing wrong with it except talking too much, I will fall asleep after drinking too much.

"Go to bed." Chen Linhu patted him on the back, "Zhang Xun."

Zhang Xun murmured a few times, which sounded like dirty words, but his face was buried deeper in his arms.

Chen Linhu lost his temper after being scolded, and his hands were still on Zhang Xun's back.

The body temperature spread to the palm of the hand through the material, but the steady heat reminded Chen Linhu inexplicably of the touch of Zhang Xun's ankle being scratched.

His breathing slowed down slowly, and when he reached the lowest point, he mysteriously moved his hand up, raised his palm, and only scratched the fabric with his fingertips, and stopped at the scar on Zhang Xun's back from the cigarette butt in his memory.

Zhang Xun's breathing fluctuated, driving the cloth to lightly hit Chen Linhu's fingers.

The numbness that seemed to be absent spread from the very small contact surface and spread along Chen Linhu's nerves.

Here, Chen Linhu thought, a scar.

It's nothing, Zhang Xun also touched the gap on my face just now.

It's nothing.

I just want to know how he felt at that time, and whether he was also disappointed, just like me when I was a child, full of anger and doubts, but couldn't speak.

This seemingly reasonable and excuse-like reason was like a whip, which slapped Chen Linhu's back fiercely, whipped his brain, and drove his fingers to continue upward, climbing Zhang Zhang like a little man climbing a mountain. Trained scapula, shoulder.

The fingertips rested briefly on the shoulders, climbed up the neckline of the clothes that were raised because Zhang Xun bowed his head, and hooked a strand of hair behind the ears.

In the quiet night of the small town, Chen Linhu watched his hands touch Zhang Xun's hair like a bystander.

Outside the house is the rustling of the night wind blowing through the treetops, and inside the house is the ticking of the clock.Chen Linhu felt that in the passage of time when he was the only one who was still awake, something collapsed from the bottom of his heart at this moment. He thought to himself, something got in through the gap in his head and wreaked havoc in his body. .

Maybe because he felt itchy, Zhang Xun tilted his head, and his skin rubbed against Chen Linhu's finger.

A small electric current sprang up immediately, crackling and exploding in front of Chen Linhu's eyes, throat, spinal cord, internal organs.

Chen Linhu felt like a thief.

Steal Zhang Xun's body temperature and use it as a stimulant to make his blood rush.

The person lying on the table muttered something, Chen Linhu closed his eyes, carefully lowered his head to listen.

Zhang Xun said vaguely: "...Chen Linhu."

The listener thought about it several times and confirmed that he was called by this name.

Zhang Xun said again: "Don't fucking...take cigarettes from my mouth."

The rushing blood suddenly cooled down, Chen Linhu suddenly withdrew his hand and took two steps back, standing in the shadows and staring at Zhang Xun's back.

The other party's breathing was still very steady, and he was really asleep, talking in his sleep.

Chen Linhu stood quietly on the spot for a while, didn't quite figure out what was going on, but suddenly became irritable for no reason, picked up Zhang Xun who was lying on the table, and threw him away under the startled and shocked expression of the other party. On the bed, and then pulled the quilt around her head.

"Go to bed," Chen Linhu heard his own voice, calmly, "There is porridge on the table, eat it when it's hot."

Zhang Xun knocked his head on the bed, his face was grim due to the pain, and he looked at Chen Linhu in disbelief: "Are you sick?"

Chen Linhu glanced at him, picked up his computer bag and jacket on the ground, turned his head and went out.

He almost rushed out of Zhang Xun's house, ran all the way from the second floor back to the first floor, ignored the old Chen who was sitting on the rocking chair playing Landlords, went straight to the bathroom, turned on the faucet, and washed his face vigorously.

The cold water suppressed the heat all over his face and the dryness all over his body. Chen Linhu simply put his head under the water pipe and poured it before standing up again.

In the mirror, his eyes were still bright and ruthless, and the eye sockets were red as if they had been burned by fire.

Chen Linhu rubbed his thumb against the index finger of his left hand that seemed to be separated from his body just now, but his fingertips stubbornly grasped all the tactile sensations just now and refused to let go.

- "Are you sick?"

"No." Chen Linhu thought dizzily, "I just touched you."

Did I switch the fuck on you? !

The author has something to say:

Ah, I suggest you try it a few more times, and practice to gain true knowledge.