muddy boy

Even though the trail was narrow and dark, and the temperature was several degrees different from the main road, Chen Linhu didn't notice it at all.

If you close your eyes and don't look around, it seems that this is the main place where he exists. There are no crowds to deal with, and no dazzling but temperatureless sun.

Chen Linhu pressed his forehead against Zhang Xun's shoulder, rubbed upwards, and buried his closed eyes on his shoulder silently.

The warm covering of the opponent's body pressed lightly on his dry eye sockets, soaked and softened the stubborn corners of Chen Linhu's insides, and smoothed them down.

Chen Linhu's broken nerves had all been connected at this moment, his brain system was re-operated, and he began to realize that his behavior was not stable at all, and completely violated his principles of life.

Zhang Xun patted him on the back like he was patting a child, and there was a bit of distress in the comfort. Chen Linhu wanted to leave, but he still buried his head on Zhang Xun's shoulder, lest he would show nervousness and embarrassment on his face. He was caught by Zhang Xun.

Then there is really no image at all.

Zhang Xun could distinguish the refreshing smell of Chen Linhu's body and the smell of shampoo from the messy smells around him. The body temperature of the other party's mobile heating was sticking to the skin through the cloth, half covering him.

The head on his shoulders moved slightly, and Zhang Xun's heart was itchy as the strands of hair rubbed against him. He wished to slap Chen Linhu's head away. He raised his hand several times, and finally landed on the back of his head lightly. He rubbed Chen Linhu's hair.

Chen Linhu's body tensed for a moment and then immediately relaxed, allowing Zhang Xun to do evil on him unsuspectingly.

"Let's have a discussion with you, let's—" Zhang Xun just opened his mouth, and his stomach made a "grunt" sound first. He paused, pretending not to listen, "Can we eat first?"

Chen Linhu was a little embarrassed at first, but he couldn't help laughing when he heard this sound.

"Stop fucking laughing," Zhang Xun said helplessly, "I didn't even have time to get the fried rice noodles I bought, and I'm too busy singing with your bastard roommate. Let's eat, I'm starving to death, eat spicy hot pot Forget it, there are fewer people in that family."

Chen Linhu finally stood up straight, his eyes were still red, but his condition improved a lot, and his face became tense: "Your voice is a bit hoarse."

"Itches, and I still have a little cough." Zhang Xun gave Chen Linhu a shake of the loquat, "It's almost enough to drink this."

Chen Linhu rubbed his face, his brain was functioning normally, his stomach was also hungry, he frowned and said, "Let's have porridge."

Zhang Xun: "The porridge is tasteless."

"Chili water has a taste, and your throat will burn after eating it, and you don't need a lighter to light a cigarette." Chen Linhu said, "There is a porridge shop nearby."

Look at this bad mouth, Zhang Xun gritted his teeth and thought, I don't need to talk to you.

Chen Linhu walked two steps away, seeing Zhang Xun standing still, looking at him bitterly, and asked, "What's the matter?"

"It's nothing." Zhang Xun walked over, cast a sidelong glance at Chen Linhu, and said casually, "Did you just put my shoulder on it to raise the angle?"

Chen Linhu paused when he walked.

"Come back and forth." Zhang Xun said, "Cats don't rub people so much when they grow up to your age. Are you rubbing against people?"

Chen Linhu stared at him, seeing Zhang Xun's playful smile, he knew that this person asked this question on purpose, just to tease him, with a bad attitude and bad behavior.

A trace of resentment and the broken pot after being exposed stuck on the bottom line of Chen Linhu's life, and he just dug a hole for the words to come out.

"Yes." Chen Linhu looked at Zhang Xun and said, "You are very warm, can't you rub?"

The voice was quite loud, and I didn't know how to cover it up, so I was confident.

The smile on Zhang Xun's face couldn't hold back, he coughed, walked out a few meters away sullenly, and then asked in bewilderment, "How the hell can you say anything?!"

Chen Linhu met his slightly embarrassed eyes and drooping eyelashes because of embarrassment, and the indignation of being squeezed out just now was swept away, and he replied seriously: "You asked me."

"Yes, I just owed it," Zhang Xun regretted very much, and said to himself, "He really deserves to be a straight man with all four sides straight."

The advantage of being around an old university is that you can basically find anything you want to eat within a radius of ten miles.

The porridge shop Chen Linhu mentioned was not too far away, it was on the East Road, next to the painting supplies shop.

It was already past the time for serving customers in the store, so the two found a quiet place to sit down, and ordered two servings of preserved egg and lean pork porridge and two servings of fried dumplings.

The rice porridge is stewed soft and glutinous, the preserved egg has no fishy smell, it is delicious, and the meat is smooth and tender. It is served with fried dumplings filled with pork and lotus root.

After a few mouthfuls of porridge, Zhang Xun's stomach became much warmer.

Chen Linhu always pays attention to the coexistence of wildness and efficiency when eating, Zhang Xun only ate three fried dumplings, and Chen Linhu has already eaten his share of the plate, and now he is stirring the porridge with a serious face.

"I didn't drink two mouthfuls of porridge, and you dried up all the dumplings." Zhang Xun said, "Can you match it, so that the rain and dew will be wet."

Chen Linhu blew on the hot air on the porridge, and frowned: "The porridge is hot."

"Cat's tongue." Zhang Xun smiled.

Chen Linhu turned a deaf ear to this ridicule and focused on competing with porridge.

Zhang Xun's chopsticks flashed in his sight, and there were a few more fried dumplings on the plate in front of Chen Linhu.

"Is it okay to wait for the porridge to cool while eating?" Zhang Xun said while stirring his own porridge.

Chen Linhu stared at the fried dumplings on the plate for a while, pressed back the words "I can order another one if it's not enough", picked one up and stuffed it into his mouth.

With the bottom of the food in the stomach, it seems that the heart and guts have been filled up.Chen Linhu said: "What did you say to Fang Qing in the end, his face turned pale."

"You're starting the interrogation again, right?" Zhang Xun didn't know whether to laugh or cry, "It's nothing, I told him that I'm familiar with this place, which street is quiet and no one is there, which aisle is not monitored, and which corner was beaten, and there is nothing at dawn the next day. People find out, I know. Let him think before he speaks."

Chen Linhu was surprised: "You know?"

"I know shit." Zhang Xun knocked on the table, "Society ruled by law, brother."

"..." Chen Linhu knew that he was making it up, "What if he didn't take it seriously?"

Zhang Xun thought for a long time, took out his mobile phone and began to check: "Why don't we step on it first, I think it's just us brothers, we can still try to beat people with sacks."

He was really serious, Chen Linhu couldn't hold back his joy, he showed his teeth in a smile, and the fried dumplings fell into the porridge.

"I'm not doing it for you," Zhang Xun felt helpless and soft-hearted when he saw him laughing like this, "It's like eating bee poo."

Chen Linhu laughed enough, his heart suddenly brightened: "Don't you want to know what Fang Qing wants to say?"

"I think so." Zhang Xun glanced at him, "But I won't ask you. When do you feel that you can speak calmly, then tell me."

Chen Linhu really felt that he had nothing to hide from Zhang Xun.The past suddenly seemed insignificant because someone favored him.

"Do you still remember the guy from the engineering college last time? Yuan Yu, just give me the one with this smudge on my face." Chen Linhu said.

Zhang Xun remembered who it was: "I remember."

"He bullied a boy very hard, because I interfered, so he had a fight with me," Chen Linhu fiddled with the fried dumplings on the plate, "If he didn't hit me, the beam would end."

Zhang Xun remembered this time. Chen Linhu also said before that the bullied boy he helped stopped coming to school.

Zhang Xun said "hmm" without interrupting Chen Linhu.

"The person he bullied later didn't come to class. When I found out, the whole class had already spread the word." Chen Linhu paused, "He said that he likes men and wrote love letters to men to confess his love. When it got to me, the version They have all been upgraded, and they have already reached the version of 'tangle with several men'."

Zhang Xun's mouth was a little bit bitter, and he made a general guess in his heart: "You told me last time, so Yuan or something revealed that kid's private affairs, is that all?"

"Well," Chen Linhu nodded, and said calmly, "It was only then that I found out that Yuan Yu bullied him because of this. Yuan Yu received his confession letter and passed it on to his brothers to read it over and over again."

Zhang Xun suddenly understood why Chen Linhu didn't tell him about it, but covered it up lightly.

Because in Chen Linhu's perception, this matter made the child very embarrassed, Chen Linhu couldn't stop the gossip, he could only do it with him, and he would suppress this matter to the end.

Sooner or later, he and Yuan Yu's gang will have to work together.

"I haven't read that letter, but after the incident was revealed, Yuan Yu's brothers didn't hide it anymore, and they were able to recite two or three lines of it, loudly, and they didn't even recite any fucking Tang and Song Ci. It's so smooth," Chen Linhu twitched his lips, "Do you know what 'joy' is? I only knew it at that time, because men like men, even sending a love letter has become 'joy'."

Zhang Xun's breathing stopped for a few seconds, and his internal organs seemed to be rolling around on the nail board.

"I fought Yuan Yu for the second time." Chen Linhu put down his chopsticks, his voice was dry, and he whispered, "Someone started to say that I got hooked up with that boy who didn't come to class anymore. Only the same kind would do that. I don’t want to help the same kind of people, so I’m not normal.”

Such a crude method of division can find a self-justifying logic, and I have to admire the logical self-consistent ability of some people.

Chen Linhu wondered for a while at that time, he didn't understand what is "normal", but in the education he received from childhood, it is absolutely impossible to poke someone's spine like this.

He didn't understand, obviously everyone had received the same education, why someone could do such a thing in a grand manner.

"Just because he is different from most people is abnormal," Chen Linhu said. "Because he is abnormal, no matter whether he hinders others or not, he can be ridiculed and looked down upon. Why should that person When it comes to distinguishing between good and bad, isn’t it enough to just distinguish between gregarious and non- gregarious?”

Zhang Xun couldn't answer. He sat in his seat, but his heart sank.

He couldn't tell whether it was because what Chen Linhu said was too shocking, or because he was also part of the "abnormal".

This feeling of needing to hide grew stronger and stronger, and it took Zhang Xun a long time to swallow the porridge in his mouth because of his uneasiness and irritability.

"Perhaps because there is a more precise target for discussion, this kind of gossip spreads faster and more widely," Chen Linhu put down his chopsticks to wipe his hands, and said calmly, "The teacher also knew, and called my dad to the school for a chat. They gave me a few days off. When I went back to school, I beat Yuan Yu up again. That’s about it, Fang Qing probably learned about it from Yuan Yu.”

Zhang Xun finally found a way to speak: "Is your dad really angry?"

"Almost, when I was ordered to go home to reflect, he came to pick me up and scolded me all the way," Chen Linhu said, paused, and added, "Also asked me if I was gay."

Chen Linhu recalled that afternoon when his father sat in the driver's seat and looked at him in the rearview mirror.

Wary, probing, suspicious, blaming, annoyed, disappointed.

A series of words surprised Chen Linhu, as if he was, then he was a mistake in Chen Xingye's eyes.

This discovery made Chen Linhu feel as if he had fallen into an ice cave. He was angry and desperate, and even gave birth to an unprecedented self-mockery under this Taotao emotion.

That day he asked Chen Xingye, if I were, what do you want to do with me?

Chen Xingye did not answer.

This issue has never been brought up between father and son since that day, but from that day on, Chen Xingye began to investigate his interpersonal relationship, trying to find out a partner from it, and feared that there really was such a thing.

Zhang Xun looked at Chen Linhu, looked at his young eyes full of confusion about the world, his heart was ups and downs, as if he heard a distant ferry whistle on an isolated island, and a strange and hysterical hope arose for no reason.

He heard himself asking, his voice was as soft and vulnerable as walking on a steel rope: "Then are you?"

Chen Linhu looked at Zhang Xun suddenly, and his spirit trembled.

The same problem, but different from the anger when facing Chen Xingye, this time, Chen Linhu's heartbeat accelerated suddenly, and the blood rushed to his head, so that he couldn't find things.

During those few months in high school, he never had the slightest doubt about this issue, and he steadfastly denied it completely.To put it bluntly, he doesn't understand why people have emotional arcs towards others.

But at this moment, Chen Linhu looked at Zhang Xun's face, and what flashed through his mind was the redness of the flames, the touch of Zhang Xun's ankle breaking through his palm, and the hug that wrapped around his waist from behind at night.

He still doesn't know if Zhang Xun will regard the movement around his waist as a hug.

He hoped that Zhang Xun would treat it as a hug.

This thought flashed through his brain like a flash, blasting away all the "unwavering" in Chen Linhu's mind like an explosion.

He was suddenly so guilty that he couldn't utter a decisive answer. He stared at Zhang Xun, his mind was blown blank, and he said softly, "I..."

As soon as he uttered a word, Zhang Xun suddenly smiled.

"You're definitely not," Zhang Xun said. He secretly sneered at himself, thinking that the three souls and six souls had gone into the wrong body, so he would ask such a question to a child eight years younger than himself, "Have you ever talked about a girlfriend?" huh—although they kicked you off."

Chen Linhu's words were interrupted, he was at a loss, he still had a little courage just now, now only a wisp of unwilling soot was left, and he asked in a daze: "Do you care about this?"

"Which one?" Zhang Xun folded his hands in front of his chest, hiding some of his ulterior thoughts.

"Is the other person gay?" Chen Linhu asked.

"Me?" Zhang Xun couldn't help laughing, and halfway through the laugh he felt bored and tasteless, "How is that possible."

Chen Linhu got a little comfort. He looked left and right on Zhang Xun's face to confirm that the other party was not lying and perfunctory, and then he buried his head and swallowed a mouthful of lukewarm porridge.

It was past three o'clock in the afternoon after a meal, Zhang Xun had to go back to the book cafe, and Chen Linhu shuddered at the thought of going back to the dormitory to see Fang Qing's doggy face.

This has nothing to do with crossing or not crossing the hurdles in his heart. It is really that Fang Qing has made himself a hurdle in other people's lives.

Zhang Xun saw Chen Linhu's anxiety: "You have no class this afternoon? Are you not going back to the dormitory?"

"I'm already late, so I won't go." Chen Linhu looked at the time, "I don't want to go back, I'm afraid I'll call him to the hospital."

Zhang Xun knew that he was talking about Fang Qing. Thinking about that kid's vulnerable physique, he really felt that Chen Linhu could give him a 120 beating.

"You really worry me to death." Zhang Xun looked at Chen Linhu and said helplessly, "Okay, you go back to the book cafe with me."

"No way." Chen Linhu thought about it, "There will be a lot of people later, it's not good for me to take a seat and take a nap."

Zhang Xun smiled: "Let's go, brother will take you to find a place to sleep."

The two returned to the book café, Zhang Xun said hello to Wu Yue, and brought Chen Linhu to the staff rest room.Wu Yue was taken aback by the extra blood on Chen Linhu's face, so she didn't dare to ask any more questions, and soon brought a small bottle of iodophor and some cotton swabs.

The employee lounge is not big, except for a changing cabinet, there is only a simple reclining chair for the exhausted employees to take a nap here.

"The boss is very nice. Both his friend and Wu Yue's friend have rested here," Zhang Xun pointed to the recliner and said to Chen Linhu, "Just close your eyes for a while and walk before the door of the dormitory closes, and points will be deducted for saving. "

Chen Linhu thanked him, and sat on the recliner to try it out.

"You can't sit down." Zhang Xun said with a smile, "What do you want to drink?"

"Coffee." Chen Linhu subconsciously said.

"Let me give you a bottle of Red Bull." Zhang Xun said "tsk", "Why don't you let me rest your mind for a while? Come on, drink milk."

Chen Linhu was taken care of by others, and his hair was smoothed long ago. He was very well-behaved, and Zhang Xun nodded at everything.

After Zhang Xun closed the door and went out, Chen Linhu relaxed and lay down on the recliner.

Once the door of the small room is closed, the sense of security is very sufficient.Chen Linhu had a rough time for most of the day, but compared to Hu Weiming and Fang Qing's finding faults, Zhang Xun's "Then are you?" now occupies his mind more.

Chen Linhu lay on the chair and closed his eyes, he didn't bother to answer the messages on his phone, nor did iodofu, he just wished he could lose all contact with the outside world, leaving him alone.

——"Then you are?"

Chen Linhu didn't know.He brought in the people who asked this question, Zhou Datou, Shang Qinghua, Gao Yi, and even the back desk of the high school, and he felt that he could say no frankly.

But when Zhang Xun asked this question, he couldn't answer it.

In addition to the guilty conscience, there was also an imperceptible trembling and throbbing.

This tightrope-like feeling is indescribable, as if Zhang Xun at the other end of the tightrope fiddles casually, and he will fall into an abyss that he doesn't know what it is.

The door of the staff lounge was pushed open again, and Zhang Xun walked in. Chen Linhu didn't dare to open his eyes, he felt that the question he was thinking about a second ago made him unable to hold his head up in front of Zhang Xun.

Probably thinking that he was asleep, Zhang Xun closed the door lightly, and put the drinks he brought in on the small bench next to him that served as a table.

He opened the closet again and found something inside. Before Chen Linhu could react, he felt that his body was covered with a layer of light fleece.It's a nap blanket.

Zhang Xun's movements were very light, and he kept pulling the blanket to cover his chest.

Chen Linhu just felt as if something was covering his heart, following his heartbeat violently, but he still pretended to be ignorant.

He didn't dare to open his eyes, nor did he want to.There was another rustling sound in his ear, and before Chen Linhu figured out what was going on, the two slits on his cheeks felt a little cold, and a smell of medicine rushed into his nostrils.

A cotton swab dipped in iodophor touched his cheek, but soon Chen Linhu couldn't feel the coolness, because there was a trace of warm breath rubbing against his skin.

That was Zhang Xun's breath.

This realization made Chen Linhu clenched a hand under the nap blanket, and he almost opened his eyes to see Zhang Xun's expression and his eyes.

Unable to look at each other, everything was speculated and guessed in the darkness with closed eyes, which made Chen Linhu feel that the time for applying the medicine was both long and short.It was so long that it was almost difficult for him to continue to close his eyes, and so short that he hoped that Zhang Xun would spend more time near him.

Although he knew that the blood on Chen Linhu's face was scarred, Zhang Xun still sterilized him.

Chen Linhu fell asleep as soon as he turned his face like he was resting, Zhang Xun also admired it.

He threw the used cotton swabs into the trash can, and saw that Chen Linhu's fair skin was stained with a little yellowish color by iodophor, which had the temperament of a bad boy in comics, especially his bangs.

The jet-black bangs are on the forehead, and the edge like a dog chewing on it is similar to its owner's temper, undulating and not stable at all.

Zhang Xun's hand raised up involuntarily, and his fingertips moved towards the thin bangs.

A touch that didn't belong to his own body temperature lightly rubbed against the skin of his forehead, and a thunderous crack suddenly opened in Chen Linhu's mind on a sunny day. Intellectually.

Chen Linhu opened his eyes, met Zhang Xun's gaze, and caught the flash of emotional aftermath in the expression that the other party showed unexpectedly.

No one spoke.

Zhang Xun's hand was still on his forehead, and he half-bent down, staring at him blankly.

The light music played in the book cafe came from outside the door, softly and dimly surrounding the small room from the outside.

It was the first time for the two people inside the door to see their own clear silhouette in the eyes of others, welded on it like a soldering iron, and they felt dazzled even after a while, but no one was willing to look away first.

Chen Linhu's heart exploded with thunder, and his voice was hoarse, and it took a long time before he opened his mouth.

He asked in a low voice: "Zhang Xun, do you really treat me as your younger brother?"

Zhang Xun's soul returned to his body, and he suddenly wanted to flee.

With a smile on his face, he squinted his eyes, made an expression that he was used to in normal times, and flicked Chen Linhu's brain with his fingers.

"Go to sleep." Zhang Xun straightened up, pointed to the milk on the small stool, and then opened the door of the staff lounge and walked out, "Call me if you have something to do, just outside."

The noise outside the house suddenly became louder, the honking of bicycles outside the book cafe, the yelling of students passing by, the low-pitched conversations of guests, the sound of Wu Yue ordering food, everything ruined the light music played in a loop. Pieces and pieces.

It seemed that there was some barrier just now, which made Chen Linhu feel that the world was quiet, and only the melody was left.

His heart beat to it.

Chen Linhu slowly pulled up the nap blanket to cover his face, and under the blanket where no one could see, he touched his forehead with his hand to touch the residual touch of Zhang Xun.

After closing the door and walking out of the staff lounge, Zhang Xun walked back to the counter with a natural expression, walked all the way to the order machine, and stood there for half a minute without trying to understand what he was possessed at that time.

It seemed as if a fuze had been lit in his chest, and he was moving towards the huge and unknown combustible and explosive objects little by little. He was terrified and found it difficult to stop, and all actions that deviated from his rationality seemed to be accelerating the detonation.

Zhang Xun hammered the table of the counter several times to vent the surging emotions, which scared Wu Yue who came back from delivering the food.

"Grass," Zhang Xun lay on the counter, burying his face in his folded arms, "Go crazy."

The author has something to say:

This should be considered as BGM between people with feelings (dog head