winter suicide plan

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*2016.11.293°The weather is sunny and the sunset is like candy*

Day 1186 of crush on Chen Shuning (crossed out)

I like the 1186th day of Chen Shuning!

I... I... kissed Chen Shuning.

I, I, I, I actually kissed Chen Shuning! ! !

Damn it!God!God!God!Ahhhhhhhhhh!

My heartbeat hasn't stopped yet, is Chen Shuning teasing me? After all, he isn't.

Chen Shuning is not gay, he had a girlfriend before.

Help... Ah, what does he mean?I can't sleep today.

He picked up my diary, and I took the diary under his pillow as he said.He should have seen it, so he knew my novelty.

Then it's not a crush.

Ah, ah, ah, he knows I like him!

When did you know?

At the dinner party, or when you just kissed me?

If I take my notebook with me, will I have a chance to get closer to him?

But he didn't agree to play friend with me either.

Go to the hospital, it should be the hospital where I saw bipolar disorder before.

The two of us go to the hospital together!

Isn't it only family members who can go together?

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

His lips are so soft... I want to kiss him again...

Ahhhh I can't sleep anymore!I went to endorse!

It's all Chen Shuning's fault, and it caused me insomnia.

Stop writing!

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11.302°The weather is sunny and sunny like a sugar orange

1187 days of liking Chen Shuning

What is Chen Shuning doing!

Why did he kiss me again?

Well, I meant to want him to kiss me.

But I thought he didn't get what I meant, just compliment me a few words.

Then he kissed me again.His lips are so soft, he even rubbed them twice, he is used to closing his eyes when kissing me, his eyelashes are so close and long, he looks good.

I was literally dying, I couldn't even breathe.

The deer in my heart has been killed, on the door frame of Chen Shuning's dormitory just now.shameful.What am I running.What to do tomorrow!I'm ashamed to see him.

Dig a hole for myself, fall down, I really have your Tang Fengxing.

When I went to the hospital today, the doctor said that I was the first person brought by Chen Shuning. Although it is not a good thing for Chen Shuning to go to a place like the hospital, I am still happy. Chen Shuning is willing to take me with him.

It's not that he doesn't want to live, but he doesn't want to live in such pain.

The doctor only told me that some of his stimuli need to be avoided, but the patient's privacy cannot be disclosed casually.

I think parents should be a source of stimulation, but Chen Shuning needs to say everything behind it.

The doctor brought me the checklist and told me a lot. The indicators written on the checklist, Chen Shuning was above a high level.

He touched my earlobe swollen today, and the fear in his eyes while sitting in a wheelchair, I can feel that he doesn't like hospitals, and even fears hospitals.When his fingers touched my earlobe, I knew that the fear he couldn't express wanted to be released through movements.

But his touch was really itchy, even in the taxi, he touched it openly, I thought it was only me, but I felt the breath on the top of my head, it was hot.I heard it on his shoulder, I felt the beating of his pulse, speaking through the veins close to my ear.

I wondered more than once whether he really had a crush on me.

But I'm not sure, I'm not qualified to pierce the paper on the window. If I pierce the paper on the window, I find that there is no one on the other side, it's empty, and what I have is just my wishful thinking.

I don't want to... I'm afraid.

I was the most passive party.

But I am willing, what can I do.

He seemed dissatisfied with my act of saving him, and I was very unhappy to hear that.

Because I selfishly felt that I saved his life, so I should cherish my own life for me.

Sometimes it's like a child playing with his temper, and he is stubborn.

But today I hugged him and fed him your noodles. He squeezed my arm, so comfortable.I made a lot of money, and I earned it.

When eating noodles, the long black hair covers the eyes, but the soft head, looking closely at the eyes of the spoon, makes him...look...very good.

And the protruding tongue...can't think about it...it feels like a pervert.

I'm not a pervert, I'm not a pervert, I'm not a pervert.

I drew an emotional index bar for Chen Shuning. If he is unwilling to express, or encounters a time when he cannot express it correctly, draw a number for me, and I can sense it and help him.

Ten centimeters, the middle is 0, and the left and right correspond to depression and mania respectively.Positive for mania, negative for depression, 0 for normal.

-1 means simple depression, -2 means depressed to sad and crying, -3 means depressed to unable to think, -4 means unable to act normally and somatization, -5 means wanting to self-harm and commit suicide.

1 represents emotional excitement and wants to express constantly, 2 represents unbearable mania, unable to restrain excitement, 3 represents mania to the point of flight of thought, thinking does not stop jumping, 4 represents mania to the point of being unable to stop action, wanting to do risky things, 5 represents Wanting to hurt others extremely, self-mutilation and suicide to express emotions.

After I sent it to him, he texted me back.Say thank you, and trouble me to help him go to class tomorrow.I stared at the screen for a while, seeing that it was typing, and he sent me a voice message.

It means "good night", and I solemnly typed the keyboard to return him "good night".

In just two seconds, when I heard it, my whole body felt like it was being electrified, the sound was very soft, it sounded like I was about to fall asleep, the sound was as soft as his lips, his breath seemed to be patting on my skin On the top, it sounded like he was about to fall asleep, and it should have come from lying on the bed.

I felt him in front of my eyes, telling me goodnight.

I listened to it dozens of times with headphones, and I never got tired of it.If the bed wasn't big enough and had railings, I could have rolled a few times and rolled out of bed.

How can I like a person so much.

I really like, I really like Chen Shuning.

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Tang Fengxing's Diary Perspective