Regarding Nick going to college, two thoughts in my heart are constantly entangled: 1. Refuse to talk about it. 2. Forcibly flirting with him, so deliberately that I was embarrassed for myself.Seriously, I can hardly stop punching the next person who mentions the word "university" in the face.I've never hit anyone in my life, and it's not too late to start.

Oh, and 3. I'm going to get drunk, very drunk.

I'm not a big drinker, which is great news in this case.Surrounded by 13th graders, the conversation was all about leaving school, prom, summer and college.I want to go home.

I avoided Nick as much as possible, listening to him talk about this stuff was the most painful.

I'm such a jerk.

It's 11 and I can't count how many glasses of vodka lemonade I've had, and I've had to sit in an armchair in the sun room with Tao because I've lost my footing.The chair was a little too small for the two of us, and my legs were a little numb from the weight of Tao.But he was so focused on chatting with other people that I didn't listen to him much—

"Have you talked to Nick about this?" he said, interrupting my daze.But my ears seemed to be plugged with cotton, and everything that happened around me seemed unreal.

"Ah what? I'm sorry I was distracted." Tao grinned at me.He tends to show his eccentric side outside of school, and tonight he wore a striped shirt for bloated businessmen, green curly trousers and his trademark red beanie.He's like a character right out of a Wes Anderson movie.

He put his arm around my shoulders and leaned his head back. "Oh, you are so cute, little guy who can't drink. It's a good thing you won't leave me this year."

"If someone asks me to leave school again, I'll cry for you." He patted my face. "All right, all right. You're Nick and Charlie, aren't you?"

"I don't know what you're trying to say," I said.

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