God said I would meet you

Lin Jinyu thought that when Zhang Xinli was angry, he would just hold back and pretend nothing had happened, or engage in a cold war, simply not talking, refusing to communicate, but... this guy actually yelled at him.

Before the ending of the slightly displeased and annoyed "I am your boyfriend" left the entrance, Zhang Xinli had already walked towards him again.

He really couldn't bear it, whether he was too conservative, lived in the Qing Dynasty, or whatever, he just disliked Lin Jinyu for doing that, everyone has possessiveness.

"Don't do that..." A room without electricity will always give people a depressing and dull feeling, Zhang Xinli walked in front of Lin Jinyu, and stood face to face with him, each other's eyes were hidden in the darkness.

He wanted to say don't do that, if you really can't find a job, you can't find it. At this stage, you haven't got your graduation certificate, and you can't find a good job with a future. Just stay at home, he will support him ……also.

But Zhang Xinli didn't say it, because he couldn't say it, how could he have the capital to say it.

"What... are you thinking?" Lin Jinyu was not angry when he lost his temper: "I don't do anything, I don't do anything out of line, I just play games with others, I asked, if you don't want to be the protagonist, just play casually It's okay, just pay less, if you don't like me, just perfunctory, even if no one gives a tip, it doesn't matter."

He said, "I love you, okay, I'm not going to do anything out of the ordinary."

Zhang Xinli's eyes sometimes look to the left and sometimes to the right. He is still very anxious and uneasy. He is an insecure person in his bones. It has been like this since the first day they were together, so he wanted to use that at the beginning. Possessing Lin Jinyu in such a misleading way comes from instinct, very naive and primitive, but it comes from love.

Love sometimes drives people to do silly, irrational things.

Lin Jinyu also knew that such a few words might not be able to persuade him, so he changed his shoes, carried his things and signaled Zhang Xinli to go to the living room first, and said, "Go in and talk."

Zhang Xinli made way sideways and walked to the sofa with him, with a complicated expression on his face.

Lin Jinyu put duck necks, chicken feet, and beer on the low coffee table, and instead of sitting on the sofa, she just sat down on the wooden floor with her socks on, and casually called Zhang Xinli to let him sit too.

The windows are closed, there is no light at the moment, and there is no air conditioner. Although the wooden floor is not as refreshing as the tile floor, it still feels cool to sit on in the depths of winter.

"Come here," Lin Jinyu said, "Sit crowded together, otherwise it will be cold."

There is no dining room in this house, and the height is just enough to use the coffee table as a small table for eating duck necks and drinking beer. Zhang Xinli listened to his words and moved closer. Lin Jinyu opened two cans of beer and pushed one of them in front of him. Ask: "Is it cold, do you want me to warm you up?"

Zhang Xinli answered after a few seconds of silence, and said a little bored, "No need."

"Actually, I don't want to work either. I want to eat and die every day." Lin Jinyu saw that he picked it up, without being too pretentious, and turned to look at the dark TV screen because of the lack of electricity: "But I want to help you...not Help me," he took a sip of beer, "help me, life is our life, not yours or mine."

He looked at the dense patch-like post-it notes on the refrigerator on the right, which were full of various memos, and half of the refrigerator was pasted in colorful colors. The pink one said "Utility bills 300 to be paid", and the blue one said "New Year's Day". , the price of vegetables has increased", the gold one says "XXX days countdown to the postgraduate entrance examination", and the green one says "2000 yuan to be remitted from my hometown". In addition to these, there are purple, orange, yellow, white... Lin Jinyu For the first time, I sighed that there are so many colors in this world.

Zhang Xinli didn't speak, but just drank the wine in sips.

"I also thought about finding another job." Lin Jinyu didn't care if he didn't make a sound, and just said to himself: "But I'm useless, I don't like the job you want to do, I want to be a tutor , people don’t want it either.”

In a small place, with Lin Jinyu's level, even if the major is not suitable, it should be more than enough to find a tutoring job in English and mathematics, but this is the center of Shanghai, just like it is almost impossible for non-teaching students to find on-the-job middle school teachers in Shanghai. For work, there is no shortage of professional teachers in the auxiliary teaching institutions here. Fudan University and Jiaotong University are close at hand. Compared with the price, he can’t compare with the juniors and seniors who graduated from those famous schools. Compared with the experience, he can’t compare with those who have graduated from Shanghai for many years. Hupiao's foreign teacher.

Lin Jinyu could have gone to a local school.

He said: "Actually, sometimes I think, if I hadn't been so self-willed before, I would have majored in science and engineering."

If he majored in science and engineering, he can go to those technical positions, he can take on programming jobs by himself, build a website, even if he finds a tutor, he may be able to match it.

Zhang Xinli's black eyes, which were originally like a pool of stagnant water, moved and looked at Lin Jinyu.

"Jinyu," he said, "..."

Lin Jinyu knew what he was going to say, smiled, and wrote lightly: "Just casually."

Zhang Xinli did not want him to say such things. Lin Jinyu should live the life he expected, including learning what he wanted to learn and majoring in the major he wanted to study. Zhang Xinli did not have a certain talent in the field of literature like him, but he knew that Those things that are "useless" to some people are wonderful, and they are the crystallization of human humanity.

Lin Jinyu is good at perception, perception of language and emotion, if not for this talent, maybe he would not fall in love with Zhang Xinli.

"Your father also needs money, if you don't transfer it, he will become suspicious." Lin Jinyu lit the cigarette that was always in his hand, pretending to be relaxed and jokingly said: "Ask if you have a girlfriend... …I don't want to come out again under the circumstances."

He asked, "If your dad found out, what would he do?"

Zhang Xinli couldn't imagine that in the small village of Liangshan, not getting married and not having children was deviant, falling in love with the same sex... He had never heard of such a thing there.

"It will break your leg," Lin Jinyu said his conjecture for him: "It's not an exaggerated rhetorical technique, it's a real break, right, you are the only child."

This was the many times they discussed this topic, Zhang Xinli did not speak, and acquiesced.

Lin Jinyu used to think that his parents were very open-minded, which is why he mustered up the courage to confess to his parents after just a few minutes of struggling in the corridor.

He thinks that although they are a bit vague at certain times, they are still open-minded and know how to respect others. However, the difference in concept caused by the times is such a thing. You think it seems to be common sense with the concept of "1+1=2" , but they really feel incomprehensible and anti-human from the bottom of their hearts.

He watched the video online, and found out that university professors would cooperate with the local police to lock up gay sons at home and prevent them from going out. Teachers from the older generation of dramas would also face the camera, saying that they still could not accept this thing.

"That's why I said I figured it out last time, and I won't force you," he untied the plastic bag that held the duck's neck, and said, "You just have to know your own affairs, and you won't go back to Liangshan in the future, right?"

Zhang Xinli replied, "No reply."

He loves the land of his hometown, but at the same time yearns for the life outside. Unlike the color of wood, Zhang Xinli likes the bustling city, the lights, and Shanghai.

But how can he stay in this brightest city in the motherland under the ever-tightening hukou policy?

"That's it," Lin Jinyu said: "It's too far away, your father can't interfere with you, so you can do it yourself, but there is one thing..." He said very seriously: "If one day you let go, I will never let you go." Will be back."

"What are you talking about?" Zhang Xinli pressed his shoulder against his shoulder, rubbing lightly with him through the cloth, "No."

Lin Jinyu squinted at him. He actually didn't believe that the two of them would break up, but he still squinted at Zhang Xinli and deliberately made a "king's contempt" expression: "You better be."

Zhang Xinli bent his elbows and put his hands on his shoulders.

"So we need money," Lin Jinyu had a distracted conversation, from regretting the past to analyzing the interests, and finally brought the topic back to the central idea that had been prepared: "Really, it is also It’s not about bending your waist for five buckets of rice or something, we don’t cultivate immortals, we don’t know how to fast, and we’re not in the Qing Dynasty, so going to work in a night market for money really doesn’t mean selling…”

Before he finished speaking, Zhang Xinli said in an extremely unwilling manner: "Don't mention that word."

Lin Jinyu observed his expression and said, "Oh, you're not happy."

Zhang Xinli said sullenly, "You still ask if you know."

Lin Jinyu drew a sign of the cross on his chest, like a devout religious believer, but what he said couldn't be compared with Jesus: "I promise Chairman Mao that I will never do messy things," he said, "My husband is just to make money. Don't work so hard."

"Who are you, husband?" Zhang Xinli was still unhappy, but he finally stopped expressing his objection.

"You," Lin Jinyu said, "Didn't you say it last time, it's all about your husband."

Husband and Lao Gong are fine.

The duck neck spread out on the coffee table gave off a sweet and spicy aroma, and the half-drunk beer stood quietly on the side, reminding Lin Jinyu of high school, when there were no adults at home, he and Zhang Xinli did the same, ordering a fried chicken, two A cup of Coke, just sitting cross-legged in the living room, watching TV series on the big-inch color TV, eating fried chicken and drinking Coke together.

"Don't get in touch with other people," Zhang Xinli said hesitantly, "Don't be afraid of offending people. If you don't want to, the shop will usually protect you."

"I know," Lin Jinyu was supported by him, turned her head, and looked very closely at his side face in the dim light: "I don't want anyone else to touch it, but you, okay?"

"..." Zhang Xinli looked into his bright brown eyes, who would say no?

Lin Jinyu and him looked at each other for two seconds, leaned forward and kissed him on the side of his face, Zhang Xinli's hand on his shoulder naturally moved forward, and turned into a half-arm around him, Lin Jinyu backed away a little after kissing his side face, silently Responding to his gaze, then under Zhang Xinli's gaze, he moved forward again to kiss his mouth.

In the silent darkness, the two kissed slowly and silently, and there was still a little taste of beer in each other's mouths—a slightly bitter kiss.