little beast

He ignored the cold and walked over quickly.

Sheng Shuangxu was wrapped in a thick coat——Shen Chengan's thick black woolen coat that he stole from the cloakroom. The thick coat was much larger than Sheng Shuangxu's, and wrapped him from head to calf. He sat on the corridor of the balcony with his legs bent The slender white ankles were exposed, and the feet were red from the cold.

Sheng Shuangxu held a cigarette between his fingers, and the sparks flickered on and off. He quietly took a puff of the cigarette, not realizing that Shen Chengan had discovered himself.

The wind swept the snow and made a rustling sound. Sheng Shuangxu put his arm outside the railing and shook the ash with his hand. The sparkling ash fell from the cigarette butt to the railing and melted into the snow until he saw not see.

Sheng Shuangxu raised his head slightly from the beginning to the end, Shen Chengan's eyes slipped from his Adam's apple, and fell on those lips that were puffing out clouds and mist. Every time Sheng Shuangxu exhaled smoke, his lips were moist, looking at very soft.

Shen Chengan's heartbeat started to speed up.

But it was too cold here, and he had to interrupt Shengshuangxu who was addicted to his own world.

Shen Chengan said hoarsely, "What are you doing sitting here in the middle of the night?"

Sheng Shuangxu was terrified.

It was only when Shen Chengan fell asleep that Sheng Shuangxu had the courage to sneak out to smoke.When he was kicked out by the landlord, he was too hasty, and he didn't even have a thicker coat. He wanted to go out to watch the snow, so he could only borrow Shen Chengan's to wear it, but he didn't expect to be caught.

His addiction to cigarettes has never been so strong, it almost swept away Sheng Shuangxu's reason - he knew that he shouldn't be so impulsive, but he couldn't bear it.

Only when he lit a cigarette, and in the smog, could he see Sheng Yuwei's face in a trance, the face of his younger sister who was about to sweep the grave.

The crimes he dared not face up to would all sweep along with Sheng Yuwei's death day.

His long-abstained tobacco addiction is an addiction this time of year.It is both poison and antidote.

Stealing someone else's clothes is not a good act, Sheng Shuangxu should have walked back immediately, took it off and returned it to Shen Chengan, but he just tightened the collar of his thick coat in a panic, and the soot that hadn't had time to shake slipped from his fingers and landed on the ground. On the corner of Shen Chengan's clothes, the black wool melted the soot, leaving a few gray spots that were hard to shake off.

Sheng Shuangxu remained motionless, bowed his head and apologized to Shen Chengan, saying, "I'm sorry, I'm addicted to cigarettes..."

Shen Chengan's eyes couldn't see the slightest wave. He didn't speak, but looked along the slender nape of Sheng Shuangxu's bare neck in mid-air. The light reflected from the ground extracted the dim red in the night—it was a bowknot pleated by clothes, the style Shen Chengan was most familiar with: the red dress he personally chose in order to humiliate Sheng Shuangxu.

Shen Chengan's Adam's apple slipped, he walked out of the bedroom to find a glass of water to drink, now looking at Sheng Shuangxu, his throat became more and more dry, and the absurd dream he had just had, which he had finally forgotten, once again uncontrollably Crowded in his head.

Shen Chengan said: "Teacher, come in and close the window of the living room."

Sheng Shuangxu was wearing a skirt under this woolen coat, Shen Chengan couldn't help thinking, at least the upper body of Sheng Shuangxu looked naked, only the red skirt, but under the skirt were still plain men's boxer briefs? ?

Sheng Shuangxu didn't speak, he didn't think about how to deal with it, the nicotine intoxicated his head and told him to do this kind of thing.

He didn't dare to stand up, he was afraid that any movement would expose himself to Shen Chengan's gaze.

Even though he had lost his dignity and was no longer afraid of humiliation, he still didn't want Shen Chengan to find out the skirt under the woolen coat. Shen Chengan was just an outsider, and this was Sheng Shuangxu's secret, the secret between him and Sheng Yuwei.

Although his secret has no value to hide.

"What are you hesitating for?" Shen Chengan was dazzled by the nameless agitation, the more Sheng Shuangxu silently repelled him, the more his desire to control was at work again, "Sheng Shuangxu, you have to listen to me."

"Come in, close the window, and take off my coat."

After Sheng Yuwei failed to commit suicide for the third time, Sheng Shuangxu quit her part-time job.Then came the fourth time, and the fifth time—until Sheng Shuangxu got used to smoking cigarettes all night, counting their expenses over and over again.Sheng Yuwei was ill, and strangers had too many uncertainties, so Sheng Shuangxu didn't dare to find a roommate to share the rent, so he had to bear the rent alone.

Sheng Zongyu didn't care about their brothers and sisters. He didn't know how to face the start of school and tuition fees.

The last time the siblings sat together and chatted was the day before Christmas. Sheng Yuwei behaved quite normally that day, and she even made some jokes to Sheng Shuangxu.

Sheng Yuwei stared at the advertisement on TV for a while, then suddenly said, "Brother, I also want to be a teacher."

Because her illness was getting worse, Sheng Yuwei's energy was not enough to support her to concentrate on a certain energy, and she hadn't gone to school for a long time.

Sheng Yuwei lit a cigarette neatly, brushed her long hair behind her ears, and her arms were exposed from her pajamas, revealing her skinny wrists and the countless scars on them. She continued, "I want to live a good life."

Sheng Shuangxu didn't understand why she would say such a thing, but still smiled and said: "It's okay, if you want to study, I can afford it."

He is lying.

He can't even pay for himself.

Sheng Yuwei pursed her lips and said, "I won't live for others anymore! This time it's for myself."

White smoke was slowly exhaled from her mouth, and her pale fingers began to tremble violently: "I just saw a frog, brother."

Severe depression is accompanied by endless and terrifying hallucinations and auditory hallucinations. Sheng Shuangxu knew that Sheng Yuwei lived a miserable life. As she grew older, her pain increased instead of decreasing. It was as if he had gone to another place unknowingly.

"Recently, I always dream that I become a frog stuck on the cement," Sheng Yuwei paused, and said in a low voice, "It sounds a bit painful, but in fact, I just lie on the cement and do nothing."

At that time, Sheng Shuangxu was only, he couldn't grasp the soul of his sister who had already flown away, he could only hold her shoulders hard, trying to keep her body.

Sheng Shuangxu asked her calmly, "...Why is the frog stuck in the cement?"

Sheng Yuwei's thoughts finally went away. She said, "I don't know...but when will cement be able to do it?"

She froze for a moment, then suddenly trembled violently.Sheng Shuangxu hugged her shoulders tightly, trying to calm down his broken sister.

Sheng Yuwei began to cry again, and her tears almost drained all the water in her body.

Sheng Shuangxu said: "Don't be afraid, brother is here."

The cigarette in Sheng Yuwei's hand fell to the floor.

"Frogs shouldn't be in the cement." She cried and said words that Sheng Shuangxu couldn't understand. "Cement won't dry."

Later, on December 25th, Sheng Yuwei succeeded in committing suicide for the last time.