Full marks

104. At night, waiting for dawn in fear...on the platform, I embrace myself...

Sha Liang stayed in Beijing for a week and will take the train back to Jingang tomorrow. Sha Ying bought a lot of vegetables and came back. Sun Qian opened a bottle of red wine with Sha Liang.

Everything went well during the dinner, but Sha Liang suddenly said something that made Sha Ying and Sun Qian sad.

"Sister, do you still remember your cousin Jianfeng?"

"Huh? I remember, what's wrong?"

"He got married a year later than you. A few months ago, he gave birth to a big fat boy, hehe... I'm envious, sister and brother-in-law, when will you... give me a nephew? I will definitely It hurts him so much."

Sun Qian saw that Sha Ying seemed to be stunned, and the food that was originally on the chopsticks fell off.

"Oh! Heh...Xiao Liang, come on, finish this drink first." Sun Qian raised his glass.

Sha Ying's panic could not be concealed: "I'll go get some soup out, Xiao Liang, drink less wine."

Standing in front of the pressure cooker in the kitchen, the wax gourd and kelp pork ribs soup overflowed with delicious fragrance, and the soup spoon was on the side. Sha Ying looked at it in a daze. She once said something in Lan Tian's ear...

"Don't come out, let it go for a while, let it go for a while... If I can have a baby with you, with eyebrows like you, eyes like mine, nose like you, lips like me, body like you, temperament like me, how wonderful it would be... "

But because she had a relationship with Sun Qian that day, she rushed to the pharmacy for emergency contraception... The contrast between these two behaviors was so great that she was surprised. God made her a big joke, falling in love with someone who shouldn't The one she loves is married to the one she doesn't love.Because of love, she especially wanted to have a child with her, and because of not love, she was particularly worried about having a child with him.But how long can this go on? Before she tortured Sun, she tortured herself...

Hearing Sha Liang calling her sister outside, she told herself to be strong and hold back. There was no paper or towel. She wiped the tears she didn't know when she shed with her clothes and walked out of the kitchen.

With the door closed and the air conditioner turned on, Sha Ying lay down on the bed and covered herself with a thin quilt.

Sun Qian came out of the bathroom wearing only a pair of briefs. Seeing Sha Ying with his back turned to him, he was thinking about the child all the time. Maybe it was because of Sha Liang's words that reminded him of something, maybe If there is a child between him and Sha Ying, everything will be fine, and what may have been on his mind before is completely gone at this moment.

He lay down on the bed, he only thought that once Sha Liang left, he would have to sleep back in that room again, today, he didn't want to miss it again.

Sun Qian's hand reached Sha Ying's waist and stretched towards Sha Ying's chest. Sha Ying grabbed Sun Qian's hand tightly and put it back behind her.

"Aying, we... want a child, okay?"

"I walked with Xiao Liang all day today, I'm really tired, go to sleep, I have to take him to the train station tomorrow morning." Sha Ying still turned her back to Sun Qian.

"Then... tomorrow we..."

"I can't promise you anything."

"If we have a child, maybe everything will be fine." Sun Qian stretched out his hand again.

"Don't touch me, I don't want to have kids."

"Don't want to have children?" Sun Qian stopped his hand.

"At least not now."

"Aying, but I think—"

"Go to sleep, I'm very tired, I'm really going to sleep." Sha Ying was very scared, she felt that she had to beg again, she was afraid that she would have to be like him this night... In a room, she could not escape Sun Qian was begging, and Sun Qian was not wrong. Sha Ying waited for the night to pass quickly with her heart in her heart.

"Wife." Sun Qian changed his name, instead of reaching out to Sha Ying's front, he began to walk on Sha Ying's back, reaching into Sha Ying's clothes.

Sha Ying turned to escape from Sun Qian's closeness: "Let me sleep, okay? Don't do that, don't call me that."

"Did I call it wrong?"

"It's because I'm not used to it."

"Then try to get used to it, from now on, wife, I think—" Sun Qian looked at the ups and downs of Sha Ying's chest, an impulse that made him just want to hug his lovely wife and have her well ...

"I don't want to, at least not today." Sha Ying looked straight at Sun Qian.

"Turn off the lights." Sun Qian didn't want to see Sha Ying's eyes, and he couldn't control himself.

"Don't turn off the lights."

"I want you to close it!"

"Not off."

Sun Qian pressed on Sha Ying's body and turned off the desk lamp on Sha Ying's side.

"No!!!" Sha Ying's hoarse voice came from the darkness, and she ran away from Sun Qian and stood by the door: "I said no." Tears welled up in her eyes and she turned on another light.

"why are you crying?"

"Either we can go to bed each other quietly, or I'll go to the living room to watch TV all night." Sha Ying looked at Sun Qian coldly.

"Don't let me know where she is, I want to kill her, do you know how I feel?"

"Then I shall die with her."

"You! Say it again! One more time!!" Sun Qian shouted.

"Sun Qian, you said, you said that we waited for me to fall in love with you, so I'm sorry, I haven't fallen in love with you yet."

"Do you know your current identity? Waiting for you to fall in love with me, almost three years, almost three years, you still want to die and be with her?!"

"So first of all, please don't say those extreme words. You will not feel good if you say those words."

"Then what should I say? What can I say so that you can listen, understand, understand, listen and accept?!"

"Don't be loud, okay? Don't let Xiao Liang hear us arguing."

"Come here, come to me, you know, if I don't love you enough, I won't keep my promise I haven't touched you for two years, until, until the day I carried you back from the bar door, you know you didn't say no You have spoiled me to the sky, I don't ask you how to love me, I just ask you not to refuse like that day, okay?"

Sha Ying shook her head: "If you really love me, just continue to give me time, please believe that I am working hard, that day, I don't deny that I was really moved when I saw you come to pick me up, but that kind of touch is to put I'm a kind of collapse, how long have you been waiting for me, how long have I been working hard, I know I have to start trying, Sun Qian... Do you really mind me accepting this kind of treatment to me without emotion? ?You ask your heart, since that day, you have asked me countless times, I know you have done a good job, I just ask that I will give you a return on this at night, but since that day, I began to be afraid You, you love me so much, but I'm just afraid of you when the night comes, your eyes can see me, but I have nowhere to escape..."

"Afraid of me? Nowhere to escape? What have I done to you? Ah Ying, if I want to force you, why should I wait until today? The root of the problem lies with you, you refuse to open your heart to accept a new life , you live in that memory because you refuse to come out!"

"I don't understand those things that are gone. From the day I decided to marry you, I didn't think about turning back. No matter what, I left the dance troupe because I wanted to forget everything. I accepted it in various ways." A new environment, a new way of life, if you think that everything I do is still nostalgic for the past, I can't help it."

"If you really worked hard enough, you wouldn't want to lock this door. I'm afraid to hear the sound of you locking this door, but there's not a day that I can't hear it. It's so clear and loud that it separates you and me water."

"If I can still stand here, it is this door that helps me survive every day, and every morning when I walk out of this door and see the breakfast you made, I will say to myself that I want to be good. For you, I have seen your good."

"Then why can't you try not to lock it again? Why are you still so afraid of me? Ah Ying, men and women are born, why can't you accept it?"

"Sun Qian..."

"Come here, Ah Ying, don't be afraid, you can see what you can feel, I love you, and I am your husband, accept me, if it is a bit difficult, we will start with having a child, You can imagine how cute our baby will be, how beautiful and happy it is to be called mom and dad."

"Do you want to think so much today?"

"If you want me to believe that you are really trying, start today, or you can tell me how."

"No, I don't want today, Sun Qian, let's sleep well and don't think about these things, okay?"

Sun Qian stood up and walked in front of Sha Ying: "Aying, look at me, look at me, let me hug you, okay?"

Sha Ying looked at Sun Qian and didn't refuse. She really wanted to try, and she was really working hard.

Sun Qian hugged her into his arms: "Can you hear my heartbeat? If you are afraid, my heart will beat fast, do you understand? Because you are afraid, I will be even more afraid. You are the only one I am afraid of in this world. It's the only thing I want to love... want."

Sha Ying leaned on Sun Qian's shoulder, her body softened, and Sun Qian's words were tender enough to feel distressed.

Sun Qian carried Sha Ying to the bed, laid her gently on the bed, and turned off the light.

Hold Sha Ying in her arms again, kiss Sha Ying's cheek: "Feel me with your heart, everything I do to you is out of my love for you, if I make you hurt, just tell me, and I will stop. "

Sha Ying closed her eyes... But when Sun Qian's kiss came to Sha Ying's lips, Lan Tian's words and voice made her still unable to accept this man... "In my mind, only your lips... like cherries ...like rouge...like flower petals...like morning dew...like pills...like flames..."

Sha Ying ran away from Sun Qian's chasing lips, Sun Qian didn't want to give up looking for it, Sha Ying ran away again, Sun Qian's hand stretched out to her chest and began to take off her clothes, she still ran away from Sun Qian's hand, and got out of the bed The other side got out of bed: "Today is really not good, we still sleep peacefully, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

"Don't say sorry, don't say sorry!! How far do you want to torture me to be satisfied? Are you normal or not!!"

"Don't be loud! Sun Qian, there will always be a day when I will pay you back everything I owe you. Let's all sleep well today, shall we?"

"Tomorrow, we will be separated by this door again. Am I abnormal?"

"I'm not normal, just treat me as a patient, let me heal well, I will get better, you believe me."

"What kind of wound, what kind of wound hurt you to such an extent? You and her! It's two women!! Do you understand what is normal?! Do you understand men and women are... It's..."

"Two women, even two women, I let go, you should see that I let go, I didn't even deal with anyone related to her, her sister and friends came to me, I didn't see them all, not even Leave them your phone number and address, what else do you want me to do?"

"Did you really let go? What about your heart? Did your heart die after letting go? Are you still alive?"

"Then what is standing in front of you?"

"I also want to know who is standing in front of me right now, Ah Ying, Ah Ying..."

"Sun Qian, don't come here, I am very sad, not only for the past, but also for the present, you should see that I am not indifferent, let alone waiting for someone, all my future days are determined to spend with you , let's not rush for a while, shall we?"

"Aying, you had physical... contact... with her, didn't you?"

"You are not allowed to talk about me and her."

"No? No? You and her... more than once, right?"

"I told you not to talk about it!"

Sun Qian saw Sha Ying from head to toe, his eyes fell on the lower part of Sha Ying's abdomen, and his brows were all wrinkled together: "Tell me what she did to you, tell me!"

Sha Ying was silent on the other side of the bed, she looked away.

"What did she do to you?"

"I forgot."

"Heh... It seems that it's not she who is between us, but me who is between you. I am the one who should go away!"

"I haven't thought about it that way."

"What should I do with you? I'll go out, you can sleep here, and I'll go to the sofa in the living room. Then you lock the door behind you, so you won't be afraid."

Sun Qian stood up, went to the bathroom to wash his face, and walked out of Sha Ying's room.

Hearing the sound of Sun Qian closing the door, she knew she shouldn't lock it again, but she couldn't do it, so she stretched out her hand to lock the door, and Sun Qian outside the door sat helplessly on the sofa in the living room and lay down powerlessly.

Sha Ying lay limp on the bed with tears streaming down her pillow, really tired...

After eating the breakfast prepared by Sun Qian in the morning, Sha Ying and Sha Liang rushed to the train station at nine o'clock to wait for the train to arrive.

"Sister, did you... and brother-in-law quarrel last night?"

"No, it's just a small discussion."

"But I heard my brother-in-law talking loudly, and I wanted to take a look."

"It's really okay."

"The eyes are a little swollen, didn't you sleep well last night?"

"I'm a little tired. My sister will be fine after a good night's sleep."

"Sister, is brother-in-law treating you well? Can you tell me the truth?"

Sha Ying was stunned for a moment: "Heh...he treats me very well, really, don't worry about my sister."

"I've grown up, and I can already protect my sister. If my brother-in-law treats you badly and Sister Lantian is not by your side, just tell me, okay?"

The slightly trembling brows were desperately swallowing tears...

She leaned on Sha Liang's shoulder...

"Sister, what's wrong?"

"It's okay, you have really grown up, my sister is a little...feeling..."

"Heh... Sister, you are very beautiful. So far, no girl has fascinated me."

"Heh... don't fall in love too early, remember to study hard. Also, how can you only look at the appearance? The idea is wrong. The other party's character, heart, sentiment, and morality are the most important."

"Well, why do I feel that you are talking about Sister Lantian, huh... I have always regarded her as an idol, you said she is always one step ahead, I use her method, it is really good. If there is a girl who is like Like her, I think I will be very excited, but it's better not to be too smart like her, if she wants to go abroad, I have to wait for her."

…Hearing these words…she couldn’t bear it…she buried her face on Sha Liang’s shoulders…his eyelids drooped and her eyes were closed tightly…a moment of indulgence of this yearning…it’s like a flood can’t be contained…

"Small light……"

"Ok?"

"In the future, we..." Sha Ying wanted to tell Sha Liang not to mention Lan Tian again, but she really couldn't say it.

"Why don't you talk again?"

"It's nothing, I forgot what I wanted to say again."

"Sister, why are you in a trance? Your spirit is particularly bad."

"I just stayed with you for a week, I can't bear you."

"Oh, huh..."

"It seems that the train is coming into the station. My sister will take you to the platform."

"A lot of people, I can do it by myself."

"I'll take you in. Watch this bag carefully, there are many pickpockets at the station."

"He dared to snatch mine, hey, I'm pretty good at it too."

"Ah……"

At the platform, it was strangely familiar, watching Sha Liang's train go away, his steps were so heavy that he couldn't move.

This platform... has witnessed the days when she and Lan Tian fell in love... She looked around...

Am I still waiting for you to come back... Am I unable to let go of you at all... When will I be willing to let you go away from my heart... God... Do you still love me... You also Missing me... I already have a new life, but this new life is driving me crazy, I can't seem to get used to it... When will you come back... When you come back, will you come to me... Yours Postcard, in your case, you don’t want me anymore, just like I didn’t want you back then...Is it...Shusha misses you...Shusha is so scared now...You said you want to protect me...Why do we have to have this dream ...Why do I have to wake up from the dream... Can you remind me of your badness...God...Why do you want to plant such a good image of you in my mind...

She was sitting in the train station, hugging herself, for a long time...