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The winter vacation is a month-long torture for Zhou Buyi.During the holidays, parents are not even at home most of the time, maybe they will come back once on the Spring Festival to practice this long-standing tradition of reunion.But every time in the past, they were able to bring the atmosphere to minus [-] degrees, which was colder than the temperature outside this place.This year will be no exception.

Staying in this house is more icy and difficult than before, Zhou Buyi desperately wants to escape.But he couldn't escape, because the word "home" imprisoned him, and he belonged here forever.

In this family, the only thing that allows him to escape the sense of absurdity and indifference is to study endlessly, and the most important thing is to talk to Fang Weizhuang.

"What are you doing?" Fang Weizhuang would call him sooner or later, and it became a life-saving talisman for Zhou Buyi to survive in this cold home, reminding him that he was not alone.

"Just finished breakfast." Zhou Buyi said, "It's the porridge made by Auntie."

"Auntie? Are your parents home yet? Tomorrow is the Spring Festival."

Zhou Buyi was silent for a while, his voice was a little low, and there was some sarcasm: "Whether you come back or not, it's the same."

Fang Weizhuang was also silent for a while, but soon he laughed briskly again: "Then do you want to come to my house?"

"what?"

"Come to my house for the Spring Festival." Fang Weizhuang said.

Zhou Yi was surprised, he was a little moved by these words, but he didn't dare to bother Zhou Yi's family: "Will your family members mind? I'm an outsider."

"Where are you an outsider? Anyway, we still have to meet them in the end, so it's better to let them get used to it in advance." Fang Weizhuang said this very easily, as if there was no burden.

Zhou Buyi was hesitant at first, but Fang Weizhuang's words were like a fire that hit his chest, instantly igniting the rebellion and passion buried deep in his heart.

"Okay, I'll go find you." Zhou Yi said.

"Wait, do you know where my house is?"

"...I don't know, just send me the address." Zhou Yi said, "I'll ask the driver to take me there."

"Tsk tsk, young master." Zhou Buyi laughed a few words, and the two chatted casually, before Zhou Buyi hung up the phone.

As soon as he hung up the phone, Zhou Buyi started to pack his luggage. This was the first time he left home for a non-academic reason, and it was also the first time he left before such an important day.His heart was trembling and excited, and his hands shaking things slightly.

"Where are you going?" Coincidentally, my mother who never left home suddenly came back.She looked at the luggage in Zhou Buyi's hands and frowned.

Zhou Buyi subconsciously wanted to hide the luggage, but he tried his best to overcome the feeling of wanting to shrink back, and he tightly grasped the drawer of the suitcase: "I'm going to my friend's house."

"Friends? Do you still have friends? Tomorrow's Spring Festival, don't bother others." She said coldly.

Zhou Buyi's heart trembled, and his hands trembled uncontrollably.what?She was always like this, indifferent and not like a mother at all, although he was in his own home, but he always felt like he was dependent on others.

Zhou Buyi closed his eyes, trying to suppress the emotions that were about to burst out of his chest, but he couldn't. He opened his eyes, frowned in pain, and pointed the blade at her for the first time: "Yes, I have been Trouble for others! I have been causing trouble for you! I didn't help you at the beginning, I know you hate me, and you hate my dad. In your eyes, I am a cowardly villain, and you regret giving birth to me so much , If you hate me so much, don’t worry about me anymore! And this home, don’t you think your vanity is too strong? It’s already incomplete and rotten, and you still have to maintain it in such a false way. You can bear it, I can't bear it anymore! Just let me get out of this house from now on, this rotten place, I've had enough of it!"

After finishing speaking, Zhou Buyi ignored the astonished and angry expression on her face, and resolutely pulled the suitcase and left.

The driver stood outside the door, he heard the quarrel in the house, saw Zhou Buyi, he subconsciously wanted to persuade him.

Zhou Buyi was furious, he glared at the driver, and left without saying anything to him.

He walked aimlessly on the road, and as he walked, the agitated and angry emotions just now slowly faded away, replaced by a deep sadness and regret that almost overwhelmed him.He retreated into a corner where there was no light and it looked dark and dank, which suited him best.

He knelt down there and wept uncontrollably.How did he say these words?How could he wantonly hurt others with his emotions?

He squatted there, feeling a hand behind him, which put his shoulder in the darkness, and pulled him with an irresistible force, trying to bring himself back to the darkness.Zhou Buyi felt that his breathing became heavy, and he was about to be overwhelmed by intense emotions.

Otherwise, just go to sleep.

Suddenly, a burst of crying sounded in his ears, the crying was low, hopeless and full of sadness.It turned out that there was another sad person hiding and crying here.

He stood up, turned around the corner, and saw a man squatting on the ground with his head buried in his knees and his shoulders shrugged.Zhou Yi didn't want to care about it at first, what does this have to do with him?He didn't know this person at all.

However, he saw a beam of cold light, holding a fruit knife in his hand.Zhou Buyi was startled, he was sure that this knife was not used for other purposes, but for self-mutilation.

His footsteps stopped, as if there was an immovable rock in his heart, pressing him firmly, the memories of the past flooded up, the pain of those chaos, mixed with the new chaos of today, so that he could hardly see himself clearly heart out.

He sat down beside the boy. When the boy noticed that someone was coming, he visibly trembled. He looked at Zhou Buyi, and his perception of similar people made him keenly sense Zhou Buyi's emotions. He said: " What’s wrong with you?"

"You are the one, what's the matter with you?" After saying this, the boy was convinced that they were the same kind of people.

The two fell silent, and the long silence was like a catalyst for the devil, making the sadness in their hearts more pure.

"I really want to go home." The boy said suddenly.

Zhou Buyi glanced at him and said, "Then go back."

The boy shook his head and said, "I can't go back. No one welcomes me, I'm just a superfluous person."

Zhou Buyi lowered his head, buried his head deeply between his knees, hugged himself, and curled up in the corner.

"What do you think people live for? You work so hard every day, but when you die, you still leave nothing behind. What's the point?" The boy also hugged himself and said absentmindedly.

"Yeah, life is meaningless." Zhou Buyi projected his eyes into the distance out of focus: "People live just to live, and every day is so painful."

The boy found a confidant, and his originally depressed mood became a little excited: "Then tell me, what is the world like after death?"

"I don't know, probably unconscious." Zhou Yi said.

"No feeling? Isn't that just right? After you die, you won't be able to feel these pains. Those annoying things, those emotions that you don't want to experience anymore, you won't be able to feel them anymore." The boy looked at him, his eyes revealing The decision to die: "Or, let's die together."

die?After death, there will be no pain, and after death, there will be no more doubts and tortures.Well, after death, you will not be able to perceive those fears, those inferiority complexes, those guilts, and those irritability.

"Let's go." The boy pulled Zhou Buyi, and Zhou Buyi was pulled by him to a tall building under construction: "It's been snowing for a few days, they stopped working, no one will stop us."

There were no protective measures on the roof, and looking down, one could not help but feel a little dizzy, the cold wind blowing from the roof made Zhou Buyi shiver.He looked at the boy, who had arms and a smile on his mouth, as if trying to fly away like a bird.It's just like he used to be.

Was there anyone there?Is someone trying to stop him?

It's Fang Weizhuang!His strong arms seemed to hold him here, making him wake up instantly.

"Don't!" Zhou Buyi hurriedly grabbed the boy who was about to fall into the bottom of the abyss, and pulled him back violently.

Both the boy and him fell to the ground, and the boy looked at Zhou Buyi in disbelief.

"What are you doing? Don't you dare? Coward!" After being shocked, the boy became angry and tried to break away from Zhou Buyi. "No! I can't die! I still have a lot of things to do, and I still have someone I love. If I die, he will be very sad." Zhou Yi said with a trembling voice.

"What? What kind of loved one? People's hearts are subject to change. At that time, nothing will be left behind. There is only eternal pain in life! Endless pain!"

The boy poked Zhou Buyi's chest with his elbow. Zhou Buyi endured the pain and said, "Even if it's like this, I'm willing to endure it! What we're doing now is cowardly, choosing to die because we're afraid of suffering, what is that?! "

The boy was slightly stunned, and he shook his head: "No, I dare to cut my own skin, I dare to do things that most people dare not do, those people are afraid of death, I am not afraid! I dare to die!"

He was very paranoid, almost crazily paranoid. Zhou Yi didn't know what he wanted to prove with death, so he just asked him: "But living is harder than dying, isn't it? For you, you are not even afraid of death. Are you afraid of living? After death, you really can’t feel anything, it’s an escape.”

The boy seemed to have been punctured. He covered his tearful face and said with a wry smile, "But, what's the point of being alive? I'm just... just cowardly, so what? I just want to escape, I don't want to live anymore, it's too hard."

"But there are still many good things to be done in life." Zhou Yi said: "I used to think the same way, I thought life was meaningless at all, no one cared about me, no one liked me, even myself, I hated myself very much. However, when I was about to commit suicide for the first time, someone caught me and he kept helping me. Before, I lived to meet his expectations, but now, I found that I lived not only It’s for him, not just for others, but also for myself. He is the biggest motivation for me to live, but I can also have my own perception.”

Zhou Yi hugged the boy tightly, just like hugging himself tightly: "You ask what is the meaning of living? I can give the answer now. Living is meaningless. A person's life is an absurd farce However, although life is meaningless, perception does. When a person dies, it is true that nothing can be taken away, but at this moment, our feelings are very real. I feel the pain that the world brings to me, I also feel the warmth that the world brings to me. Perhaps existence itself is meaningless, but these complex emotions are strung together to form a person's colorful life. Whether it is bitter or salty, a person is indeed To have such a unique life."

The boy started to cry, his body relaxed, Zhou Yi also relaxed, he laughed, the cold wind gusts, but he felt so comfortable: "I still want to live. Because I have an agreement with him, I still want to live." To be admitted to university, I still need to study psychology, and I need to help a lot of people. I still want to feel happy, although I have to suffer pain, but I still want to live, because after death, I can’t perceive these things, just Even the pain I am most familiar with will leave me."

"Don't be afraid anymore. Go ahead and face your feelings, you know? Even pain is a wonderful feeling. Although it can tear you apart, wrap you up, and lead you into endless darkness, but once in a while When the beam of light shines through, you feel pure bliss and peace. And then sigh, I'm lucky I'm still alive."

"But, I can't feel the emotion you said. I feel nothing interesting." The boy sobbed.

"How could it be?" Zhou Buyi smiled softly: "No one can't perceive happiness. Maybe you're just sick and you need help. Someone can help you and see the light in your heart."

"I'm sick?" The boy's voice sounded like a sigh of relief.Zhou Buyi understood his feelings.

"Yes." Zhou Buyi helped him to sit up, he smiled at the boy comfortingly, took out Doctor Chu's business card from his pocket and handed it to the boy: "You need to go to the hospital to find a doctor, he is a very good doctor , you can rest assured to find him."

The boy took the business card, which was dark purple, with the doctor's introduction and contact information in white font on it.

"Don't commit suicide again." Zhou Buyi said, "One can only live once, and there is no chance to start over. Don't give up the life that should belong to you."

The boy lowered his head. At this moment, he no longer had the courage to go to death.Then trust the brother in front of you.Believe he will see the light too.

"Ah."