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Chapter 40 It's Your Fault
They never asked the truth of the matter, just unilaterally thought that everything was my fault, and never thought about what I experienced in these things.
—— Song Zhiyi
The teacher told Song Zhiyi's parents about this.
On the day Min Yan was sent home to reflect, he heard the sound of breaking utensils and men's violent roars from Song Zhiyi's house next door, but because of the distance, they couldn't hear it so clearly.
"How can I... shameless thing!"
"Get away from...stay away!"
"If you do it again, I... will take you..."
Then there was a woman's soft cry: "Zhiyi, mom knows you are uncomfortable...but girls have to love themselves!"
Where does she not love herself? !
Obviously this is not the truth, why do you just say that about Song Zhiyi?
Min Yan clenched his fists with an ugly face, but because it was inconvenient to meddle in Song Zhiyi's family affairs, and he was afraid that people would be wronged, he could only hold back his anger.
Min Yan leaned against the wall and tried his best to listen to the movement of Song Zhiyi's house.
The family trial of "Song Zhiyi not self-love" is finally over.
Min Yan listened carefully for a long time, maybe the voice was too low, maybe Song Zhiyi was too tired and fell asleep a long time ago... Except for the "rustling" sound outside the window, there was nothing else.
It is estimated that her parents must have warned her not to associate with him.
According to Song Zhiyi's personality, she would probably really alienate herself like her parents did, right?
He sighed, thinking about it.
…………
When he returned to the classroom three days later, he unexpectedly found several bags of snacks on the table, and a post-it note was pressed under the snacks, which read:
[Thank you, Min Yan. 】
Min Yan looked up in surprise, just in time to see Song Zhiyi turning his head to look at him, and then saw Song Zhiyi smiling at him, beckoning him to eat the snacks on the table.
Min Yan also smiled unconsciously, with a warm feeling in his heart.
It's just that Song Zhiyi didn't alienate him?
Such a well-behaved girl who has never done anything against her parents' wishes, is willing to do something completely contrary to her orders?
Min Yan was really surprised.
However, Song Zhiyi had been a good girl for over ten years, so it was naturally impossible for her to act boldly and arrogantly immediately.
Song Zhiyi sincerely thanked Min Yan for being his friend.
She really wants to be like Min Yan, who doesn't have to swallow her anger all the time, can boldly express her wishes, and be loved by her classmates.
She wanted so much to be like Min Yan.
Although Song Zhiyi still can't go to Min Yan openly, he will still secretly pass notes to him and leave him some snacks.
However, even if the note was passed secretly, someone still noticed this, and even teased her about it tirelessly, deliberately forcing her to the point where she was almost crying.
"Oh, you sent a note to Min Yan again? Do you like Min Yan so much? Does Min Yan like you?"
"Forget it! It's just like her, let's save it..."
"I can't see that Song Zhiyi, who is usually silent, can show love so boldly..."
"What do you think will happen if you tell your parents and teachers about this?"
…………
"I'm not with him..." Song Zhiyi kept shaking her head with a pale face, feeling that the people around her were like a wall surrounding her—every time she said a word, the wall got closer, making her almost breathless with oppression Not angry.
We are not in a relationship!
We are just friends.
Song Zhiyi really thought so.
But every time she said such an explanation, it was as if she had told a big joke, making the people around her laugh so hard that they couldn't stand upright, and while laughing, she said sarcastically: "You and him are just friends"? This is What Bailian lines?! Haha..."
"I didn't expect people to be ugly and act like this?! No, no, besides you, I'm going to throw up. Min Yan doesn't know what's going on...he will fall in love with such an ugly monster like you..."
After the explanation, there are still people who forcibly distorted the relationship between her and Min Yan.
Song Zhiyi really didn't have the energy to explain anymore.
The teacher has obviously been paying attention to the relationship between Song Zhiyi and Min Yan.It was discovered that Song Zhiyi still kept in touch with Min Yan, and always asked other students if they found out that Song Zhiyi and Min Yan had intimate behavior.
Song Zhiyi didn't know what his classmates said.
She just felt that the teacher looked at her more and more indifferently, until the teacher found her on purpose one day, and pretended to be bored with her, and said earnestly: "At this age, you should study hard... girls You should know how to love yourself!"
Self-love again? !
Where do I not love myself?
Is it wrong to give some food to friends and chat occasionally?
Just because he is a boy, does the relationship with him have to be a relationship?
Song Zhiyi's eyes were moist, and he said aggrievedly and angrily: "Teacher, Min Yan and I are just friends! I only have him as a friend in the class, do you want me to be isolated by the whole class?!"
"Ahem!" The teacher coughed, "Why would you isolate you? The classmates in the class are very loving! Did they bully you? Did they beat you?"
Song Zhiyi looked at the teacher in disbelief.
False accusations, spreading rumors, verbal violence...
Can all these be regarded as non-existent?
"Look, they didn't beat you, so how can they be considered bullying and isolating you? It must be your own problem. It's all a little friction between classmates, just be patient with everything..."
Can you be more patient?Isn't she patient enough? !
She suddenly felt that the strength in her body was suddenly taken away, and she looked at her toes feebly, speechless for a long time.
too tired.
She really didn't know what to do.
…………
Song Zhiyi made an appointment with Min Yan on the rooftop the next day.
Song Zhiyi's expression was very light, with a lingering haze between her brows and eyes, she said softly, "You said... what should I do now?"
Min Yan didn't know what happened to Song Zhiyi.
Seeing her tired expression, he said softly, "You might as well try to do something you like to make yourself feel better."
"Song Zhiyi," Min Yan hesitated, "If it's too embarrassing for you to be friends with me, you can..."
Song Zhiyi stopped Min Yan with a smile, "No need, I have nothing to embarrass."
Song Zhiyi looked at the blue sky, turned his head and thought for a while, a strange light flashed in his eyes: "I want to draw."
"draw?"
Min Yan was taken aback for a moment, then smiled and said, "Okay! I'm still looking forward to seeing your paintings."
Song Zhiyi nodded slightly.
"Everything will be fine?"
"Yes, it will."
May God bless you one day.
He thought so.
…………
Later, Song Zhiyi joined the art activity club.Although she is not familiar with the people in the club and is affected by rumors, no one still associates with her, but she does find happiness through painting.
But it is also limited to the time of painting.
The girls began to bully her frequently, and sometimes a few boys would tease Song Zhiyi under the booing of their peers, and everything became worse and worse.
Song Zhiyi tried to change all this.
For the girls who bullied her, she tried to resist, but because the resistance was not strong enough, it caused them to bully even more.
She thought, at least her parents could understand and comfort her more or less?
However, when she told her parents what happened at school, she realized that it was just a delusion after all.
Father frowned, put down his chopsticks, and looked at her displeasedly: "You don't study hard, what are you thinking about all day long?"
Sitting at the table, he took a puff of a cigarette and said with a sneer, "Even if you are really being bullied, why don't you think about why you are the only one being bullied? Why don't they bully others? It's unbelievable!"
Song Zhiyi raised his head in panic, tears were about to fall in his eyes.
The mother gently put her face on her face, and said in a warm voice that made her feel cold all over her body: "Zhiyi, mom knows you are an obedient child, listen to mom's persuasion... Let's take a step back, don't worry about it." It's so fussy!"
Song Zhiyi stared at her mother: "But do you know what they did?"
They spread rumors about me, forged love letters to the teacher, slandered my relationship with Min Yan, made fun of me, insulted me...
"Zhiyi, maybe you are at fault!" Mother seemed dissatisfied with Song Zhiyi's retorted question, and her tone was a little more serious: "You should take the initiative to ask what you did wrong, and then apologize to them..."
Song Zhiyi suddenly laughed when he heard this.
what is this?When she was a Stockholm patient?Everything is her fault?She was the one who got hurt, why didn't she even have the right to ask for an apology? !
What did she do wrong?
Are you jealous because of your good grades?Do you deserve to be excluded because you are shy and not talkative?Should he be slandered because he has a good relationship with Min Yan?
Why?why!
enough.
It's useless to say more.
Song Zhiyi gradually restrained his smile.
After all, for people who can't understand you, no matter how much you want them to take the initiative to understand you, it's just a luxury.
What they want is obedient and well-behaved puppets.
Song Zhiyi could only choose to close herself and put all her emotions into painting.
The painting embodies all the ideals in her heart and becomes her spiritual support.
One day, however, her moral support collapsed.
For some reason, the story of Song Zhiyi's painting was passed on to her parents.
Song Zhiyi's father went straight to the school.
After asking about the route, he found Song Zhiyi who was drawing in the art activity room, tore up the painting in front of her, and overturned her drawing board.
When Min Yan heard the news and arrived, the door of the art activity room was already blocked.
The door was wide open, tearing apart the side of her that she least wanted to be seen by others, exposing it to the air.
"What do you do every day? Painting?! You have free time to paint, why don't you study hard?"
"It's okay for you to hang out with that Min Yan, but now you still waste your time painting? Tell me what you want to do!"
"I like painting!" She stared blankly at the overturned easel at her feet with red eyes, and repeated: "I want to paint!"
"Like it? Like it can be eaten as a meal?!"
"Let me tell you Song Zhiyi, if you don't quit the art club today, I will make you unable to stay in the art club! Are you going to quit?!"
"I..." She bit her lower lip, her voice was so low that only she could hear: "Don't retreat..."
"what?"
"I said——I don't retreat!" She gritted her teeth and mustered up her courage to say loudly.
"Pa—" a thick, big hand fell on her face.
The whispering crowd was quiet for a moment, and then began to commotion again.
"what!"
"He actually did it!"
"Wow, Song Zhiyi was slapped directly by her father, it's so scary!"
Song Zhiyi's face was turned away from the beating. There were tears in her eyes, and she refused to let them fall. She stubbornly looked at the torn painting on the ground, not knowing what she was thinking.
In the next second, my father's feet landed on those fragments, crushing the already fragmented painting.
It was as if her hopes and dreams had been stepped into the dust.
Song Zhiyi's expression froze, and tears flowed down uncontrollably.
"You can't retreat!"
That voice seemed to be constantly picking out a little bit of courage that was rarely born in her.
"Retreat." She slowly retracted her gaze, staring blankly at her toes, silent for a few seconds, and repeated: "I will retreat."
The father left angrily, and the onlookers gradually left the scene with eyes of watching the play or sighing.
Min Yan wanted to go forward to comfort her, but she heard her voice without ups and downs: "You go back first."
Min Yan was taken aback for a moment, and could only leave worriedly.
She spent hours in the deserted activity room before leaving.
No one knew what she did, but the position in the activity room that belonged to Song Zhiyi was eventually replaced by someone else.
And she never appeared in the art activity room again.
The author says:
Regarding bullying, what Kaizi hates to hear the most is actually "Why don't they bully others, but why they bully you"--really, I'm really angry when I hear this kind of words!
A person is weak and not talkative, and he has not broken the law or violated morality. It is right for a person who bullies others to be virtuous, but why do they always blame the victim?
Besides, if there is something that I don't like others, I think it is enough to ignore or not communicate, and there is no need to bully others.
—— Song Zhiyi
The teacher told Song Zhiyi's parents about this.
On the day Min Yan was sent home to reflect, he heard the sound of breaking utensils and men's violent roars from Song Zhiyi's house next door, but because of the distance, they couldn't hear it so clearly.
"How can I... shameless thing!"
"Get away from...stay away!"
"If you do it again, I... will take you..."
Then there was a woman's soft cry: "Zhiyi, mom knows you are uncomfortable...but girls have to love themselves!"
Where does she not love herself? !
Obviously this is not the truth, why do you just say that about Song Zhiyi?
Min Yan clenched his fists with an ugly face, but because it was inconvenient to meddle in Song Zhiyi's family affairs, and he was afraid that people would be wronged, he could only hold back his anger.
Min Yan leaned against the wall and tried his best to listen to the movement of Song Zhiyi's house.
The family trial of "Song Zhiyi not self-love" is finally over.
Min Yan listened carefully for a long time, maybe the voice was too low, maybe Song Zhiyi was too tired and fell asleep a long time ago... Except for the "rustling" sound outside the window, there was nothing else.
It is estimated that her parents must have warned her not to associate with him.
According to Song Zhiyi's personality, she would probably really alienate herself like her parents did, right?
He sighed, thinking about it.
…………
When he returned to the classroom three days later, he unexpectedly found several bags of snacks on the table, and a post-it note was pressed under the snacks, which read:
[Thank you, Min Yan. 】
Min Yan looked up in surprise, just in time to see Song Zhiyi turning his head to look at him, and then saw Song Zhiyi smiling at him, beckoning him to eat the snacks on the table.
Min Yan also smiled unconsciously, with a warm feeling in his heart.
It's just that Song Zhiyi didn't alienate him?
Such a well-behaved girl who has never done anything against her parents' wishes, is willing to do something completely contrary to her orders?
Min Yan was really surprised.
However, Song Zhiyi had been a good girl for over ten years, so it was naturally impossible for her to act boldly and arrogantly immediately.
Song Zhiyi sincerely thanked Min Yan for being his friend.
She really wants to be like Min Yan, who doesn't have to swallow her anger all the time, can boldly express her wishes, and be loved by her classmates.
She wanted so much to be like Min Yan.
Although Song Zhiyi still can't go to Min Yan openly, he will still secretly pass notes to him and leave him some snacks.
However, even if the note was passed secretly, someone still noticed this, and even teased her about it tirelessly, deliberately forcing her to the point where she was almost crying.
"Oh, you sent a note to Min Yan again? Do you like Min Yan so much? Does Min Yan like you?"
"Forget it! It's just like her, let's save it..."
"I can't see that Song Zhiyi, who is usually silent, can show love so boldly..."
"What do you think will happen if you tell your parents and teachers about this?"
…………
"I'm not with him..." Song Zhiyi kept shaking her head with a pale face, feeling that the people around her were like a wall surrounding her—every time she said a word, the wall got closer, making her almost breathless with oppression Not angry.
We are not in a relationship!
We are just friends.
Song Zhiyi really thought so.
But every time she said such an explanation, it was as if she had told a big joke, making the people around her laugh so hard that they couldn't stand upright, and while laughing, she said sarcastically: "You and him are just friends"? This is What Bailian lines?! Haha..."
"I didn't expect people to be ugly and act like this?! No, no, besides you, I'm going to throw up. Min Yan doesn't know what's going on...he will fall in love with such an ugly monster like you..."
After the explanation, there are still people who forcibly distorted the relationship between her and Min Yan.
Song Zhiyi really didn't have the energy to explain anymore.
The teacher has obviously been paying attention to the relationship between Song Zhiyi and Min Yan.It was discovered that Song Zhiyi still kept in touch with Min Yan, and always asked other students if they found out that Song Zhiyi and Min Yan had intimate behavior.
Song Zhiyi didn't know what his classmates said.
She just felt that the teacher looked at her more and more indifferently, until the teacher found her on purpose one day, and pretended to be bored with her, and said earnestly: "At this age, you should study hard... girls You should know how to love yourself!"
Self-love again? !
Where do I not love myself?
Is it wrong to give some food to friends and chat occasionally?
Just because he is a boy, does the relationship with him have to be a relationship?
Song Zhiyi's eyes were moist, and he said aggrievedly and angrily: "Teacher, Min Yan and I are just friends! I only have him as a friend in the class, do you want me to be isolated by the whole class?!"
"Ahem!" The teacher coughed, "Why would you isolate you? The classmates in the class are very loving! Did they bully you? Did they beat you?"
Song Zhiyi looked at the teacher in disbelief.
False accusations, spreading rumors, verbal violence...
Can all these be regarded as non-existent?
"Look, they didn't beat you, so how can they be considered bullying and isolating you? It must be your own problem. It's all a little friction between classmates, just be patient with everything..."
Can you be more patient?Isn't she patient enough? !
She suddenly felt that the strength in her body was suddenly taken away, and she looked at her toes feebly, speechless for a long time.
too tired.
She really didn't know what to do.
…………
Song Zhiyi made an appointment with Min Yan on the rooftop the next day.
Song Zhiyi's expression was very light, with a lingering haze between her brows and eyes, she said softly, "You said... what should I do now?"
Min Yan didn't know what happened to Song Zhiyi.
Seeing her tired expression, he said softly, "You might as well try to do something you like to make yourself feel better."
"Song Zhiyi," Min Yan hesitated, "If it's too embarrassing for you to be friends with me, you can..."
Song Zhiyi stopped Min Yan with a smile, "No need, I have nothing to embarrass."
Song Zhiyi looked at the blue sky, turned his head and thought for a while, a strange light flashed in his eyes: "I want to draw."
"draw?"
Min Yan was taken aback for a moment, then smiled and said, "Okay! I'm still looking forward to seeing your paintings."
Song Zhiyi nodded slightly.
"Everything will be fine?"
"Yes, it will."
May God bless you one day.
He thought so.
…………
Later, Song Zhiyi joined the art activity club.Although she is not familiar with the people in the club and is affected by rumors, no one still associates with her, but she does find happiness through painting.
But it is also limited to the time of painting.
The girls began to bully her frequently, and sometimes a few boys would tease Song Zhiyi under the booing of their peers, and everything became worse and worse.
Song Zhiyi tried to change all this.
For the girls who bullied her, she tried to resist, but because the resistance was not strong enough, it caused them to bully even more.
She thought, at least her parents could understand and comfort her more or less?
However, when she told her parents what happened at school, she realized that it was just a delusion after all.
Father frowned, put down his chopsticks, and looked at her displeasedly: "You don't study hard, what are you thinking about all day long?"
Sitting at the table, he took a puff of a cigarette and said with a sneer, "Even if you are really being bullied, why don't you think about why you are the only one being bullied? Why don't they bully others? It's unbelievable!"
Song Zhiyi raised his head in panic, tears were about to fall in his eyes.
The mother gently put her face on her face, and said in a warm voice that made her feel cold all over her body: "Zhiyi, mom knows you are an obedient child, listen to mom's persuasion... Let's take a step back, don't worry about it." It's so fussy!"
Song Zhiyi stared at her mother: "But do you know what they did?"
They spread rumors about me, forged love letters to the teacher, slandered my relationship with Min Yan, made fun of me, insulted me...
"Zhiyi, maybe you are at fault!" Mother seemed dissatisfied with Song Zhiyi's retorted question, and her tone was a little more serious: "You should take the initiative to ask what you did wrong, and then apologize to them..."
Song Zhiyi suddenly laughed when he heard this.
what is this?When she was a Stockholm patient?Everything is her fault?She was the one who got hurt, why didn't she even have the right to ask for an apology? !
What did she do wrong?
Are you jealous because of your good grades?Do you deserve to be excluded because you are shy and not talkative?Should he be slandered because he has a good relationship with Min Yan?
Why?why!
enough.
It's useless to say more.
Song Zhiyi gradually restrained his smile.
After all, for people who can't understand you, no matter how much you want them to take the initiative to understand you, it's just a luxury.
What they want is obedient and well-behaved puppets.
Song Zhiyi could only choose to close herself and put all her emotions into painting.
The painting embodies all the ideals in her heart and becomes her spiritual support.
One day, however, her moral support collapsed.
For some reason, the story of Song Zhiyi's painting was passed on to her parents.
Song Zhiyi's father went straight to the school.
After asking about the route, he found Song Zhiyi who was drawing in the art activity room, tore up the painting in front of her, and overturned her drawing board.
When Min Yan heard the news and arrived, the door of the art activity room was already blocked.
The door was wide open, tearing apart the side of her that she least wanted to be seen by others, exposing it to the air.
"What do you do every day? Painting?! You have free time to paint, why don't you study hard?"
"It's okay for you to hang out with that Min Yan, but now you still waste your time painting? Tell me what you want to do!"
"I like painting!" She stared blankly at the overturned easel at her feet with red eyes, and repeated: "I want to paint!"
"Like it? Like it can be eaten as a meal?!"
"Let me tell you Song Zhiyi, if you don't quit the art club today, I will make you unable to stay in the art club! Are you going to quit?!"
"I..." She bit her lower lip, her voice was so low that only she could hear: "Don't retreat..."
"what?"
"I said——I don't retreat!" She gritted her teeth and mustered up her courage to say loudly.
"Pa—" a thick, big hand fell on her face.
The whispering crowd was quiet for a moment, and then began to commotion again.
"what!"
"He actually did it!"
"Wow, Song Zhiyi was slapped directly by her father, it's so scary!"
Song Zhiyi's face was turned away from the beating. There were tears in her eyes, and she refused to let them fall. She stubbornly looked at the torn painting on the ground, not knowing what she was thinking.
In the next second, my father's feet landed on those fragments, crushing the already fragmented painting.
It was as if her hopes and dreams had been stepped into the dust.
Song Zhiyi's expression froze, and tears flowed down uncontrollably.
"You can't retreat!"
That voice seemed to be constantly picking out a little bit of courage that was rarely born in her.
"Retreat." She slowly retracted her gaze, staring blankly at her toes, silent for a few seconds, and repeated: "I will retreat."
The father left angrily, and the onlookers gradually left the scene with eyes of watching the play or sighing.
Min Yan wanted to go forward to comfort her, but she heard her voice without ups and downs: "You go back first."
Min Yan was taken aback for a moment, and could only leave worriedly.
She spent hours in the deserted activity room before leaving.
No one knew what she did, but the position in the activity room that belonged to Song Zhiyi was eventually replaced by someone else.
And she never appeared in the art activity room again.
The author says:
Regarding bullying, what Kaizi hates to hear the most is actually "Why don't they bully others, but why they bully you"--really, I'm really angry when I hear this kind of words!
A person is weak and not talkative, and he has not broken the law or violated morality. It is right for a person who bullies others to be virtuous, but why do they always blame the victim?
Besides, if there is something that I don't like others, I think it is enough to ignore or not communicate, and there is no need to bully others.
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