[Spell Back to Battle] Asuka

41.

Thinking about it now, in fact, everything had already been foreshadowed.

I looked at my body in the mirror and thought to myself.

The huge cyan claws of the Zerg rested on my shoulders, and the white skin and red scales inlaid on it were exposed between the fingers.The scales were like flames burning on my body, shining dazzlingly under the light.

Human beings always have such bad roots: they clearly know that some unknown ability may have side effects, but they still can't stand the temptation of benefits. While making deals with the devil, they deceive themselves that "it will be fine", hoping that luck will come to them body.

For such a result, I didn't feel the same panic, pain and fear of facing Lixiang as I did when I saw Lixiang become like this, I just took it for granted.Maybe it's because I've already realized that "it doesn't matter what happens to me", or maybe I'm insensitive now and don't care about these "insignificant" things.

"Birds, scales?" Lixiang held my body with his claws, and asked intermittently, "Same as Lixiang...should be happy...don't be sad..."

I sighed and lay on Lixiang's paw: "I'm not sad, Lixiang."

She seemed happy, neighing with joy and calling my name.

Yi Gu also saw the scales, and the faint smile on his face disappeared instantly.

He touched the hard scale with his index finger and pinched the tip of the scale.

The red scales seem to be more colorful, and they stand up slightly.

His fingers trembled slightly, and he straightened up. All the out-of-control and sickness in his eyes just now were taken into his eyes, and turned into deep worry: "You transformed your body? It's the same as before...!"

"...Don't pinch, the scales feel it." I was a little hurt by his pinching, so I stopped it.

"Did you change it when you were fighting that high-level new human named Daoist?" The strength in his hands relaxed a bit, but his tone was still cold, and his dark pupils shone like swords out of their sheaths, "It's him What drove you to this point?"

"It doesn't count." I looked up at the ceiling with a calm expression, "In the end...it's my own choice to get to this point."

It is I who choose to fight, choose to take up that responsibility, and then want to become stronger and transform my body for self-protection. I can't blame others or accidents...

... I know I shouldn't complain, and I have no reason to complain.It's all my own choice, I just suddenly feel a little... tired and lost.

"...you are tired, Asuka." Yi Gu still hugged me, and comforted me in a gentle voice, "Don't be afraid, it's not a big deal, you can change your genes, and with the support of the gene bank, you can definitely change yourself back. Take a good rest first, and when you recover, I will take you to seek help from the Academy of Sciences, the military... General Ellie and everyone will help you."

I am indeed tired.

But now I can't be tired, weak, scared, or confused—at least I can't show it.

I should be decisive, hard as iron, like a perfect leader and banner, just like people expect.Even in front of my trusted companions, I can't show the slightest cowardice and uneasiness, let alone the person in front of me now is Yigu Youta.

I can no longer trust him like I used to.

Because of this, I hid all my emotions, changed the subject, and asked the question I am most concerned about now: "I made Li Xiang like this, right?"

"It's not you, it's us." Yi Gu replied.

He seemed to be aware of my defensiveness, lowered his eyes, stepped back a little in silence, sat on the edge of the bed, and let Li Xiang leave too.

Lixiang let go of me reluctantly, and obediently disappeared into the air.I watched her shadow gradually disappear, and my fingers curled up slightly.

"Lixiang was indeed dead at that time." Yi Gu looked at my hand, his eyes narrowed slightly, and he explained in a gentle tone, "You changed her body out of control, and the remaining... Her genes, mingled with her body, completely restored her bodily functions - but that's not all the reason why she was resurrected in this posture."

I thought of the crime he was imprisoned for: raising mutated Zergs privately with bad means, and condoning the Zergs to hurt people.

"You were not the only one who got out of control at that time." Yi Gu raised his eyes, stared into mine, and said calmly, "I also differentiated into Alpha at that time. You know I have a military background, and our family has produced many excellent Conjurer... I cursed Lixiang and kept her soul."

"We are accomplices."

I smiled wryly.

"I forgot," I murmured, "I forgot everything. I expelled all those memories from my brain, except that I was seriously ill."

"I took Lixiang away and wanted to see you the next day, but they told me that you lost your memory." Yi Gu said softly, "At that time they didn't suspect you, but thought that Lixiang became like that because of me. Curse. I was taken back to the military custody, and when we meet again, it is time for me to ask for a blind date with you."

"...I always thought it was the first time we met." I pressed my forehead and wrapped myself in the quilt, "I really..."

Cowardly, incompetent, waste who only knows how to evade and shirk responsibility.

I let Yigu take all the pain of turning my best friends into monsters, and I easily forgot about everything and left them there.

Yi Gu opened his mouth, but still didn't say anything to comfort me.

He couldn't erase all those not-so-beautiful memories. Even if he thought it wasn't my fault, he knew that with my personality, I would definitely not accept his comfort.

He was silent for a while, grabbed my hand, and smiled at me: "If you feel sorry, can you promise me a request? Asuka?"

"……what?"

"From now on, no matter what happens, we will bear it together." He stared into my eyes and said word by word, "Be an accomplice for the rest of your life."

42.

I didn't respond to Yi Gu's request - I'm not so forgetful that I forgot about it just after I was kidnapped by him to the Imperial Capital.Even though I knew he was doing it "for my own good" and that General Ally wanted to see me, I still felt a little bitter.

He didn't seem disappointed, he just tightened his grip on my hand slightly, and finally said: "Do you want to talk to Lixiang more? I'll go first, let Lixiang accompany you."

"...Okay." I do have a lot of things I want to say to Lixiang.

He left and Rika reappeared in front of me.I looked at Lixiang and didn't speak for a long time.

She tilted her head and looked at me with a cute expression on her face.

It was under such gaze that I suddenly relaxed.

I've been holding tight for a long time.

Ever since the results of the genetic test came out and I made up my mind to get free and help other Omegas, I have been in this state.My opponent is the entire empire, and what I want to fight against is the tradition that has been maintained for many years. I have to be tense to meet the challenges that come one after another.

But before that, I was just an ordinary Omega.

I looked at Lixiang's face, and thought of those vague shadows in my memory that I had deliberately forgotten.I think of us leaning on the bed together, head to head, reading love novels together, carefree and imagining what kind of Alpha we will marry and how many children we will have in the future.Those conversations about love, marriage, and parenthood were all we had in our lives at that time.

To be honest, I didn’t feel that I was not free or happy at the time.We grew up in the garden, knowing nothing of the outside world, like caged, innocent canaries, only singing songs about love.

Before the genetic test results were confirmed, I was no different from other Omegas who grew up with me. I was fragile, delicate, knew nothing, innocent enough to be a little stupid, and casually made promises to others that I couldn't keep.

I said I would protect Rika and stay with her no matter what she became, but I never did - I turned her into a monster and passed out crying while she hugged my leg , After waking up, I cowardly forgot everything, implying that everything has nothing to do with me, hiding that despicable and timid self, and wasting time doing nothing.

Until my genetic test results were confirmed, and my genetic level shocked the empire.Many officials of the empire came to see me in person, even the emperor of the empire.They kindly told me that in my womb the future of humanity was conceived, and that the key to human evolution was in my hands.

They cared about my womb, but no one cared about my awakened special abilities.The false human rights were torn apart by their own hands, and I finally realized that Omega is actually just a raised and pampered domestic animal.

I was arranged to go on a blind date with Wujo Satoru, and the empire planned to let the two of us have a child directly, and take the child away to raise him.

Until General Ellie overcame all opinions and left me the right to choose.She reached out to me and pulled me out of the mud.

She was the only one who came to see me, and the only remaining Omega officer in the Empire.

"It's ridiculous, isn't it? They imprisoned you, but they still pretend to be nice to you." She sat across from me drinking tea, smiling and mocking, "Those Alphas are so arrogant and stupid, and they want Omegas Be with them."

Such a statement would have been almost outrageous in my education, but I had seen a little of the world by then and was not alarmed by it.

I boldly told her my doubts: the actual status of Omega, people's prejudice and discrimination against Omega.

General Allie patiently listened to my questions.

"That's because the Omega is not strong enough, so there is such a problem." She said, "The strong can have the right to speak, and this has always been the case in this world. Only when every Omega realizes this and becomes strong enough, our status will change.”

"You will have a bright future." She patted my shoulder and said to me with a smile, "You are different from them, and you will lead them out of the mud."

"The greater the ability, the greater the responsibility. This is what you have to do, Asuka."

At that time, I actually didn't fully understand what she said, but there was a small corner of my heart that told me I had to do this, I had to protect other people, I had to break free from this cage, I had to grab someone's hand... and pull her out mud.

Subconsciously, I don't want to feel the hopelessness of powerlessness again.

After that, I did exactly what General Ally estimated.I have come into contact with many excellent Alphas, met different people, worked hard to polish myself, made myself decisive, excellent, and powerful, and then guided other Omegas, became a banner in their hearts, and gained freedom with everyone.

Even though I always knew that I was not decisive enough to be a leader, I still tried to do it.The result of uncoordinated virtue is exhaustion.In front of the camera, I force myself not to show any flaws, hoping that I can live like other Omegas hope.

But in my subconscious mind, I'm still that useless Omega.I am not as good as they imagined. At first, I just wanted to be free by myself, and I was so incompetent that I couldn't even protect important people.

Just like what Xia Youjie asked me, if I didn't have the ability to change genes, if I was just an Omega with no abilities and no knowledge, I might have chosen to commit suicide in order to escape from the prison.Dying is far easier than fighting.

But I can't do that.

I forgot Satoshi, but she became the thorn of the rose in my heart.My wounds never healed, and inside the rotting wounds lived an impotent version of me.

Even when I forgot about her, I always wanted to heal myself.I subconsciously learned about gene editing, and began to experiment on myself, wanting to skillfully use my abilities for self-protection, treatment, and research on artificial embryos.I want to free myself, all the Omegas... I see deja vu in everyone.

However, no matter how good I became, that wound would never heal.

I grabbed the hands of many people, and I will grab their hands in the future, and try to drag them out of the mud, but it is no longer possible for me to grab the person I want to grab the most.

They are all Lixiang, and they are not Lixiang.Some of them need my hand, some don't, just like the me who was content with the status quo before Lixiang's accident.

I held Satoshi's sharp claws.

The claws of the Zerg were extremely cold, and the sharp thorns drew light red marks on my palm.

She has been watching me, carefully retracting her paws, like a cat retracting its sharp claws and revealing its soft pads.

She is Lixiang, and she is not Lixiang.

I held her hand, bit my lower lip tightly, and sobbed, "Lixiang...I..."

She hugged me carefully, looking joyful and at a loss: "Bird?"

"I will protect you." I hugged her tightly, as if I was saying to her, but also to myself, "I am no longer the powerless waste I used to be. I will definitely protect you."

I shouldn't be tired, I shouldn't be afraid, I shouldn't be sad, I shouldn't be sorry.I can only continue to walk firmly on this road, no matter what is waiting for me in front of me.

"Absolutely... I will definitely succeed."

I repeat this over and over again.

It seems that this can dispel all my anxiety, as if it can make me forget the first time, when I was young, I sat by the window, looked at the birds in the sky, and thought "I want to see my parents".

That's all the freedom I wanted at first.

But now I am flying in the sky, with countless cages hanging on my wings. Outside the blue and vast sky, the huge birdcages cast metal cold shadows.

I took the birdcages and fell to the center of the sky without turning back or looking back.