He had a crush on him for 12 years and divorced

73 (1) confide;

Ren Zhaoyuan has never seen Tan Zheng's aggrieved appearance.

Just listening to the lowered voice and saying "I feel so useless", I immediately raised the white flag.

"It's not that I don't want to tell you, what are you thinking about..."

Tan Zheng lowered his eyes, hiding something in an instant, as if it never existed.He hugged the person in his arms tighter, and his voice was lower: "Sometimes I worry that if I don't do a good enough job, I can't let you rely on it with confidence."

"No one is better than you," Ren Zhaoyuan propped himself up, held Tan Zheng in his arms and kissed his forehead and bridge of nose, "It's my personality problem, I'm not used to speaking out, so don't think too much about it."

"Your personality is fine."

Ren Zhaoyuan couldn't help laughing because of Tan Zheng's sudden deviation from the point, and then sighed lightly and rubbed his face: "You..."

"Tell me, it will be much better if you tell me, it's just the two of us, no one else knows," Tan Zheng said in a low voice, telling me every sentence, "You can tell me all your feelings, big or small It doesn't matter if it's good or bad."

Ren Zhaoyuan's pupils fluttered slightly, his lips opened a little, and he wanted to say something, but he heard Tan Zheng say again: "Tell me, okay? All your feelings are important to me, and all thoughts are always reasonable. I won't Evaluate any point, it will only be with you."

He pinpointed Ren Zhaoyuan's weakness, showed weakness, and coaxed Ren Zhaoyuan to sway and give in step by step, voluntarily flattening all his defenses and surrendering.

At the end of the round, Ren Zhaoyuan was completely captured by a solemn sentence.

Tan Zheng said, "I want to be involved in your emotions."

If you try something you haven't done before, you will be rusty at the beginning.

Just a few simple words about being disappointed by his parents' attitude, Ren Zhaoyuan stumbled, spoke slowly and habitually to find reasons for his parents, and excuses for himself not to care too much, but Tan Zheng just listened, didn't urge, didn't interrupt , did not refute.

Gently patted his back, and occasionally responded lightly and steadily, indicating that he understood and was listening.

Afterwards, it gradually became much smoother.

From the meeting with my parents a few days ago, it extended to the relevant piles of life.

The golden toad given by my uncle mentioned at the beginning is just the least important point among many lost corners.

He is always conflicted.

On the one hand, since I was very young, I knew that my uncle and aunt were just relatives, and I had done my best to be willing to adopt them. I knew that I couldn't really treat them as my home, so I kept the most suitable distance early.But on the one hand, with the lack of parents and the harmonious coexistence for many years, I can't help but gradually pin my expectations.

On the one hand, they knew that pregnancy was just a drag on their parents, and if it wasn't for physical reasons, they would have chosen to have an abortion. They never cared or had affection for him.But deep down in my heart, I have thought more than once, I heard that when people get old, they will become eager for family affection. Will they come to him one day many years later and say they regret the past.

He talked a lot, from the imagination in his heart when he was waiting outside after receiving the call this time, to when he met many years ago, he piled up a mountain and finally held back the questioning without saying a word.

The order is reversed, the primary and secondary are messy, and they talk about what they think of without being very organized.

"When Zheng He's two fathers met me, they humbly begged me for Xie Rong. Uncle Ji called me and asked me to give Xie Rong a letter of forgiveness. I was actually very envious and felt it was unfair. Why did he attack me regardless of right and wrong? , but he has his father trying to protect him, but I don't."

"Yu Nan said he didn't dare to come forward to admit it, he didn't dare to let his family know, saying that his parents would definitely break his leg. I don't have to worry, even if it's pointless to worry when we meet, they don't care."

"You said that if uncle and aunt said they wanted to see you, they would say that they were available anytime this month. They didn't ask. When I was divorced, they were very worried, but they never asked. They knew how to be careful, and they were afraid that I would be disgusted."

Ren Zhaoyuan can't desire it, but his desire and unavailability can be seen everywhere.

So after the tall building built by his parents collapsed, unconsciously, he shifted his emotions and expectations to his uncle and aunt, his marriage with Zhao Yuanqing, and the Zhao family.

And his uncle and aunt failed to lay a close emotional foundation when he was a child, Zhao Yuanqing betrayed his marriage, and Zhao Rongsen and Feng Yun gradually revealed their true colors.

The failure and disappointment of the latter two came one after another, and there was not much left for Ren Zhaoyuan to entrust.

So the usual actions and words of my uncle and aunt will touch my nerves.

And the reunion of his parents after more than ten years completely shattered the final possibility that he had been vaguely expecting in his heart.

If there is none, there will be none, even in another ten or twenty years, even if they are old, there will not be any.

Talking and dissecting are also tiring.

Later Ren Zhaoyuan closed his eyes in Tan Zheng's arms and said, "Forget it."

Forget it.

Tan Zheng heard this sentence from Ren Zhaoyuan for the second time, and every time he didn't want to hear it again.

So sad.

He really didn't know why Ren Zhaoyuan was thinking?

he knows.

But Ren Zhaoyuan suffered from insomnia all night, he thought, what can't be broken can't be built.

So I intentionally induced him to speak out, open up all the deepest and most subtle thoughts, and prepared to tell Ren Zhaoyuan when he was the softest and most vulnerable, that as long as he wanted, he would have a forever home in the future.

Tan Zheng had promised so much eternity to Ren Zhaoyuan, but at this moment, he was a little afraid.

Can he really give Ren Zhaoyuan a home that will never disappoint?Can he guarantee that parents treat Ren Zhaoyuan like their own children?Can he be sure that his life will be safe and sound?

He has been making Ren Zhaoyuan rely on him all the time, expressly and alludingly, trying to make Ren Zhaoyuan unable to separate himself from him, but it is only at this point that he feels afraid.

It is too rare for Ren Zhaoyuan to get out of a failed marriage and rebuild his trust in love. If he lets Ren Zhaoyuan put his trust in family affection on himself, Ren Zhaoyuan will have no other choice.

This is obviously what he has been pursuing.

But what if?

How many contingencies are there in life?

He can be sure of forever, but full of love.

If one day something happens to him and all the dependence on love and family is destroyed, will Ren Zhaoyuan still be able to get out?

"What do you think?"

Tan Zheng looked at Ren Zhaoyuan: "Huh?"

"Hold on tighter, I won't be able to breathe."

Only then did Tan Zheng realize his own strength, and quickly let go: "Does it hurt?"

"No," Ren Zhaoyuan raised his hand to ease his frowning eyebrows, "What are you worried about?"

"I'm thinking, I want to live longer than you. If I walk in front of you, I will die with regret."

The two fingers that Ren Zhaoyuan caressed between his eyebrows hit him on the mouth in a second, and there was obvious annoyance in his words: "What nonsense."

"I.."

Tan Zheng's arm had just loosened his strength, and he was off guard for a moment, Ren Zhaoyuan broke free and got off him with a casual push.

"I was wrong, I was wrong," Tan Zheng quickly stretched out his hand to stop him, and when he couldn't stop, he followed the trend and turned to the other side of the bed, turning his position up and down to hug him, "Blame me, blame me, talk nonsense, don't get angry, don't get angry, ah."

Ren Zhaoyuan couldn't speak at all. Tan Zheng pressed him down and wanted to kiss him after a few words. In the end, Ren Zhaoyuan lost his temper and pushed him with a frown and a smile: "Get up, I'm dead again."

"I'm on my elbow," Tan Zheng still kissed him, "It's not true."

"I'm afraid of you, um..." Ren Zhaoyuan dodged a little, "Wait a minute."

Tan Zheng kissed him on the face: "Huh?"

"Tell me first, what did you think just now?"

Tan Zheng looked at him and said, "I want to give you a home."

In front of Ren Zhaoyuan, he could speak all his thoughts frankly.

What you want is what you are afraid of.

"Stupid not stupid..." Ren Zhaoyuan turned his face away and blinked several times, rolled his Adam's apple a few times before turning back to speak as usual, "Although I have no experience, the most important thing in a family is actually the relationship. Some parents and children If we are all together, if we hate and use each other, it’s not considered a family, that’s how I feel.”

His and Zhao Yuanqing's family was broken, not because they were gone.

In the past twenty years or so, he was not accompanied by his parents, but he never felt that he had no home.

"Yes," Tan Zheng replied, "Yes."

Ren Zhaoyuan looked at him with a soft but firm voice: "Emotions are not limited."

Feelings are not limited by time and space, and they don't even disappear when people leave.What he wants and what he lacks are firm and special feelings.

In fact, what he pursued from beginning to end was nothing more than this.

Tan Zheng kissed him deeply and long, holding his cheek in a cherished manner.

"The person who hurt you is not worth thinking about. As long as you are willing, we will have a new home, the home of the two of us."

"There will be a bigger family. My parents are also your parents, and Tan Qing is also your sister."

"Forget about them all, I will always be by your side, as long as my life."

"Just look at me, okay?"

Ren Zhaoyuan looked into Tan Zheng's eyes, always firm, always frank, full of his figure.

After a long time, he stretched his eyebrows and smiled slightly.

"it is good."

73(2) unexpected;

After a night chat until the early morning, Ren Zhaoyuan didn't feel sleepy, and urged Tan Zheng to go to sleep, but Tan Zheng didn't want to.

"Aren't you working tomorrow?"

"It doesn't affect."

Ren Zhaoyuan disapproved, moved his body and was about to say more, but couldn't help laughing.

Tan Zheng made a half-truth and half-fake soft "tsk", stretched out his hand to scratch him: "Laugh at me again?"

"I can't even laugh..Hey..I was wrong..Don't dare, dare not..."

Ren Zhaoyuan's tears were about to come out, and Tan Zheng stopped his hands. He lowered his head and gritted his teeth on his ears as if he was still out of breath.

It is always easier for him to do this kind of thing, often when Ren Zhaoyuan is calm and calm, he is already enduring it.

Just chatting until the end of the kiss, the reaction was completely uncontrollable, but he didn't want to destroy the warm atmosphere, and Ren Zhaoyuan hadn't been interested recently, so he quietly backed away, thinking of suppressing it before he was noticed.

Anyone who tried to turn around was arrested.

The smile in Ren Zhaoyuan's eyes didn't fade away, he hooked his neck and pressed down to kiss him, after a while he parted and gasped slightly, he said, "Just do it when you think about it, hide anything."

"I'm afraid you're not in the mood."

Ren Zhaoyuan turned over and pressed on Tan Zheng, making the two of them stick closer together: "You know now?"

The fundus of Tan Zheng's eyes gradually deepened, and Ren Zhaoyuan was pushed back with light force.

Just now, Ren Zhaoyuan was always reluctant to move immediately, and the two of them stayed together for a while. Tan Zheng went to take a bath first, and Ren Zhaoyuan went after he came back.

When Ren Zhaoyuan took a shower, Tan Zheng simply cleaned up and got out of bed. At first, he often changed bedrooms to sleep and cleaned up together the next day. Later, he found that Ren Zhaoyuan took longer to fall asleep after changing bedrooms. Compared with him, he was still used to the master bedroom, so he never changed again.

Cleaning up is also easy. After tidying up, replace the water cup beside the bed with a new one. After Ren Zhaoyuan finished washing, he drank saliva and the two fell asleep hugging each other.

After taking a shower tonight, Ren Zhaoyuan lay quietly with his pillow on Tan Zheng's arm as usual.

Tan Zheng can now tell whether he is asleep or awake by the sound and frequency of his breathing.

"Don't want to chat?"

Ren Zhaoyuan opened his eyes and looked at him: "I thought you would fall asleep if you persisted for a while."

Tan Zheng looked at him and smiled softly: "You are a bit poor at pretending to sleep."

It's past three o'clock, and it will be dawn if I don't sleep for a while.

But Tan Zheng was unwilling, and Ren Zhaoyuan couldn't force him to sleep.

The lover's heart should be kept properly.

"You don't seem to be prone to dark circles."

"Huh?" Tan Zheng thought for a while, "I never noticed."

"Didn't you often stay up late?"

"Come on, why not?" Tan Zheng put his hand on Ren Zhaoyuan's side and patted it lightly. "When I was in college, I helped Jin Shiyan set up a company. At that time, my eyes were dark. I checked the cases, checked the contracts and read the reports. I often It took half a month to get a full night's sleep."

"It's too hard."

"I can't help it, I don't understand. His personality was not as good as it is now. The brothers at home had to be on guard, and he had no trusted friends outside, so he caught me alone."

Ren Zhaoyuan felt distressed and at the same time was amused by Tan Zheng's words, and rubbed his hand on his abdomen: "Fortunately, you are amazing."

Tan Zheng inhaled and bulged his stomach, Ren Zhaoyuan looked up at him: "Huh?"

"Inflated."

Ren Zhaoyuan burst out laughing with a "puchi", and laughed for a long time before finally stopping, touching Tan Zheng's belly with his hand, and couldn't help laughing again.

"Why didn't I notice you before..." Ren Zhaoyuan laughed until his stomach ached, and he withdrew his hand to rub it for himself. Remembering Tan Zheng's "expansion" just now, he couldn't help but want to laugh again.

Especially when Tan Zheng spoke seriously, it seemed as if he had poked Ren Zhaoyuan's laugh point.

"Hey," Tan Zheng couldn't help laughing when he laughed, "I'll rub it for you, don't rub it."

"I didn't realize that you have such a sense of humor before?"

"Indeed not," Tan Zheng rubbed him, "Maybe I've been with you for a long time."

Ren Zhaoyuan looked disbelieving: "You think I'm humorous?"

"No," Tan Zheng smiled, "I'm happy with you, always happy, always happy, maybe the system will automatically generate new skills."

"Then your love talk skills should be full."

Tan Zheng still laughed.

"I still remember that when I was with you, Tan Qing sent me a message, saying that you can't talk nicely or coax people. You can't even coax people, no one in the world can coax people, right?"

"The evaluation is so high," Tan Zheng smiled and kissed him, "I'm telling the truth."

"That's what you would say."

"Just listen to it if you like."

Ren Zhaoyuan patted his hand with a smile, remembering the message Tan Xuqing sent him a few days ago: "Didn't Tan Qing want to come and play, isn't the summer class finished yet?"

I finished school two days ago, and in fact, school will start in a few days.

As soon as the make-up class was over, Tan Xuqing excitedly called Tan Zheng and said that he would come, fearing that she would torture Ren Zhaoyuan again, Tan Zheng told her the truth that Ren Zhaoyuan was in a bad mood recently, and asked her to come back when she had time, and also told her not to ask Ren Zhaoyuan. .

It's the third year of high school at the beginning of school, and the second year of high school is nervous, and it is impossible to spare time for the third year of high school.But Tan Xuqing didn't say much, and agreed very happily, and couldn't help asking what's the matter, Tan Zheng didn't say anything and didn't ask again.

Tan Zheng didn't mention these things to Ren Zhaoyuan, but Ren Zhaoyuan started to ask. Tan Zheng thought that Tan Xuqing loves to be cute, and Ren Zhaoyuan also likes her quite a bit, maybe he can divert his attention.

"Come on, I guess there will be a quarrel soon."

"If she wants to live here, she can live here. If she is not used to living here, she can go to your place."

"Is there anything you're not used to living in?" Tan Zheng lowered his head and rubbed against the top of his hair, "I can't let her live in my house. You still want to live apart from me?"

Ren Zhaoyuan couldn't laugh or cry: "I don't have long legs? Mr. Tan, what about IQ?"

Ren Zhaoyuan, who lived in Tan Zheng's usual house, had never slept there, and habitual thinking hurt people. Tan Zheng rubbed him in his arms: "It's over, IQ is gone."

Ren Zhaoyuan's upper body was embraced by him, and he simply propped his arms towards him.

After a long time, I feel quite comfortable lying on my body.

But just as soon as Ren Zhaoyuan could react and say something, Tan Zheng let out a muffled snort.

"What are you..." Ren Zhaoyuan couldn't tell for a moment whether he was more surprised or more surprised, and he was the only one who was fooled by the two or three times before?

"Are you in particularly good spirits tonight, or have you always been this good?"

Tan Zheng was so overwhelmed with sweat that he first grabbed Ren Zhaoyuan's side and moved up: "Not especially tonight..."

"Don't tell me, I haven't had enough from the beginning to now."

Obviously Ren Zhaoyuan didn't say any explicit words, but it still made Tan Zheng hot when it fell into his ears.

Ren Zhaoyuan touched his ear very familiarly, it was hot.

"Why are you ashamed?" Ren Zhaoyuan smiled and pinched his earlobe and shook it. "Harmony is also very important in this kind of thing. If it's not enough, why don't you say it?"

"Stop if you don't want to, I can't force it," Tan Zheng buried himself in Ren Zhaoyuan's neck, "If you don't want to, stop, your waist will be sore and your legs will be sore the next day. uncomfortable."

"I'm not a person who lacks a lot of exercise," Ren Zhaoyuan thought for a while, "It's probably only at the beginning that my back was so sore, and then I just woke up a little bit, and I'm fine when I get up and move around. When did you see me? Are you so sad that you can’t go out?”

In the beginning, Tan Zheng was inexperienced and made it difficult, and Ren Zhaoyuan hadn't passed the exam for more than two years, and Tan Zheng was really... In short, he got used to it for a while.After that, Tan Zheng slowly started to get used to it, and he became harmonious.

However, it turned out that there was only harmony here with Ren Zhaoyuan.

If it wasn't for his insomnia and not being sleepy like usual, this person doesn't know how long he would have to endure it.

Ren Zhaoyuan went through Tan Zheng's words carefully from the beginning to the end, and he tasted something, and immediately turned over and pushed him down firmly: "You mean it's not uncomfortable? Can you still do it?"

Ren Zhaoyuan looked at the man whose ears hadn't faded, and suddenly thought of teasing him. He pressed the back of Tan Zheng's neck and lowered him, and said softly with a breath on purpose: "Actually, I told you to slow down. When you stop, no matter what No matter how true it is, you can treat it as a lie."

Tan Zheng's eyes darkened terribly for a moment, and he fixed his gaze on Ren Zhaoyuan, his voice had gone hoarse at some point: "Really?"

It was true when I said this just now, but locked in by Tan Zheng’s deep gaze, the sense of crisis in Ren Zhaoyuan’s bones appeared unconsciously, and he almost instinctively denied it for self-protection: “I’m just kidding—um… "

During the interval when his vision was blurred and his breathing was disordered, Ren Zhaoyuan raised his neck and suddenly a thought flashed through him.

The bath was in vain.

Then the thought slipped from my mind.

I can't take care of it.

In the end, he couldn't even articulate the words to stop and show weakness, and when he heard Tan Zheng calling his name in a daze, Ren Zhaoyuan shrank himself under the quilt with the last sliver of clarity.

"No..did.."

Tan Zheng wanted to take him to take a bath for fear of waking him up, so he let him sleep like this and was worried that he would not be able to deal with it.

In the end, he was tangled and tangled, listening to Ren Zhaoyuan's breathing gradually lingering, and then he moved lightly to get warm water and towels.

Let's make do with it first.

Simple to think, but difficult to operate.

For fear of disturbing his rare dream, he moved so lightly that Tan Zheng's spirit would tense even if Ren Zhaoyuan's breathing rate changed even slightly.

Finally, after tidying up, Tan Zheng was sweating all over.

Seeing the light coming in from the window, he lightly pressed all the control buttons on the other layers of curtains, so that Ren Zhaoyuan could sleep soundly and wake up naturally.

Looking back at the sleeping person, my heart softened into a ball, I hugged him into my arms and kissed him lightly, but there was no response, and I couldn't help but want to laugh.

Is this considered unintentional, a crooked attack?

The author says:

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!