Cherish the time

Almost at the next second when He Gu said that Ikaku was leaving, Shinto understood a fact in his heart: ——it was all because of him.

Shinto understands—or should be said, Shinto should understand: Ikaku has never been the type who can rise up when he is pushed into the mud. His beliefs are not strong, and his whole consciousness is always self-denial and self-affirmation There is also a strange feeling of inferiority, unable to make an accurate assessment of one's true strength at critical moments.

During the time when Hetani was murmuring, Shinto sorted out in his mind what he had done directly or indirectly to Ikaku in this life and the possible impact, starting from the first time he beat Ikaku in the professional chess player qualifier From the start of a game of chess, to the fight in the Go clubhouse, and then to his new routine game at the beginning of the game.

Shinto hopes with all his heart that Ikaku can see his love for Go and his expectation of his ability through his Go, so as to get rid of confusion and gain the motivation to move forward.

Because the Yijiao he knew had a strong will to recover from a fatal blow, and saved him who was on the verge of collapse due to self-blame and remorse.

but…

The Yijiao of this period is far less tough than the Yijiao of that time.

He has not had the experience of being expected to grow up, and he has no way to see the deep meaning behind Shinto's behavior.

"As expected...it's all my fault. Shinto Naga sighed, and pressed his fingertips tiredly between his brows, "I really shouldn't... have come back to life." 』

"Are you listening, Xiao Guang?" He Gu stretched out his hand and shook it in front of him, "He looks absent-minded, is there any trouble?"

"Ah..." Shindo smiled wryly, "There are so many troubles... there are so many."

"Oh?" He Gu obviously didn't expect his answer, and immediately put aside the criticism of Yijiao, "What happened?"

"I..." Shinto thought about his choice of words, "Killed a person."

"Varied--"

"Or it should be said that someone died because of me." Shinto covered his face with his hands, propped his elbows on the table, and the voice leaking from between his fingers was full of powerlessness and self-blame, "Now Ikaku-kun also Because my self-righteousness…”

"Wait—" He Gu made a pause gesture, "I don't understand much, do you mind saying something I can understand?"

Shinto was silent for a moment, Fang said, "In order for me to survive, one person died because of it."

"If it wasn't for me... He could have lived in this world for decades, met many friends, and accompanied his relatives."

"In the process of chasing dreams, enjoy the gifts of life, whether joy or pain."

"But now, now he...is no longer in this world."

Shinto buried his head in his hands, his shoulders drooped and slightly retracted inward, showing a sense of fragility in need of protection.

Kazuya is not at all used to seeing such a fragile Shinto.

So he frowned and rubbed his hair fiercely, disrupting the tragic aura lingering around Shinto, "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I'm so annoying!"

"——This kind of thing! I won't bother with it!" He Gu gulped down a glass of ice water again, with a look of impatience on his brows.

"It's like saying that you were saved by someone when you were about to be in a car accident, and the person who saved you died!"

"Are you going to be responsible and punished for his death?"

"Obviously not?"

"Isn't all you can do is to try your best to take on that person's life and live?"

Kazuya raised his right hand abruptly, and pointed his index finger straight between Shinto's eyebrows, "But in you now, I can't see the drive to live with two people on your back at all!"

Shinto listened silently, feeling that his restless heart due to regret was actually soothed by Kazuya's few words of exhortation.

But then, he realized another fact very clearly.

— This is different.

——That young Xiaoguang didn't... volunteered to save him.

Looking at Shinto's unimpressive expression, Kazuya knew that what he said just now was probably in vain.

——I don't know what kind of major changes this child has suffered.

——Obviously before, he felt that he was so mature that he didn't need anyone to take care of him.

Thinking like this, He Gu also inexplicably quieted down, holding his chin in silence.

But this mysterious silence didn't last long, and Hegu's stomach suddenly let out a "gurgling" cry.

Jin Teng followed the prestige, and saw He Gu standing up with a wry smile on his stomach, "I'm going to the toilet..."

Shinto froze for a moment, then nodded.

——Drinking so much ice water all at once, it's strange that I don't have a stomachache.

After He Gu rushed to the toilet with his stomach in his arms, Zuo Wei, who had been watching from the sidelines, spoke.

"Ikaku-kun's matter... what are you going to do? 』

Shinto shook his head feebly, "What else... what can I do. 』

"Are you going to leave it alone? But Zuo Wei said loudly as if very dissatisfied, "Because of some problems that you will never be able to solve, do you want to simply turn a blind eye to those who have helped you? 』

"A life spent in pain and self-blame—"

"Is this how you atone for the dead? ! 』

A look of struggle flashed across Shinto's face, and then he returned to calm.

He picked up the ice water that had been poured on the table for a long time, and there was even a slight smile on his face.

His dark brown eyes stared at the glass of ice water that was no longer iced, but his gaze was so far away that he seemed to be looking at the other end of an unknown time.

"It's all...impossible. 』

Sato looked at Shinto like this, and a great sadness welled up in his heart.

——Just looking at it like this!

——He could feel the old soul crying and crying under this indifferent body!

God!

He bit his lower lip tightly, turned his head fiercely, and stopped looking into Teng's brown eyes like a pool of stagnant water.

God!

If this is the test you bestow on Xiao Guang!

Please hurry up - hurry up and get him out of this quagmire!

——Little light like this lifeless!

He already - can't stand it anymore!

The next time passed in the silence of one person and one ghost.

Until He Gu came out of the bathroom after solving his physical problems, Zuo Wei couldn't muster up the courage to look at Jin Teng again.

"Huh..." He Gu rubbed his stomach and sat back on his seat, "...It seems that I really can't drink too much ice water."

"Of course." Shinto said with a smile, "Pay more attention to your body."

"Yes, yes, Grandpa Shindo." He Gu agreed perfunctorily, "——seeing that you don't really accept my opinion, then let's not talk about the dead people."

"Let me tell you what is called 'Because your self-righteousness is also...'?" He rested his jaw on one hand, opened the menu on the side of the table with the other, and said casually, "My words to you... are very Interested."