The princess is reborn

After that night, Xie Yan didn't know whether it was because he was busy with business, or he just didn't want to see my face, but he never appeared in front of my eyes again, and even all kinds of instructions were conveyed through the housekeeper.

If he doesn't come, I just feel quiet and comfortable, and I have more time to think about how to go in the future.

Xie Yan said that he was able to climb from the unknown son of a fanbang singer to the position of today's infinitely favored prince, all relying on his unfathomable city and unparalleled resourcefulness.

If ordinary people want to fight with him, it is tantamount to seeking skin from a tiger, and they will be swallowed by him silently until there is not even a trace of flesh and blood left.

But the meaning of my words of thanks is quite different from others.

Whether his affection for the dead Feng Jiuyue was sincere or false, all of this is not important to me.

The important thing is that after observing for a period of time, I found an interesting phenomenon, that is, Xie Yan is very satisfied with Feng Jiuyue's appearance, and often does things because he regards Feng Jiuyue and me as one person. Do some ridiculous things.

Just like that night in Qiu Mansion, he was drinking in the moonlit night, crying and telling me to come to him tomorrow night.

It seems that his hot tears still remain on my shoulders, like a tumbling melt, which is about to burn me.

I stared fixedly at the swaying tree shadows and moonlight outside the window, rubbed my eyes into the mist, and felt that my emotions were extremely ridiculous.

Xie Yan's tears seemed to flow from his eyes into my heart continuously, corroding a bottomless hole in it, the pain could not heal, and the scar could never fade away.

Don't think about it anymore, Feng Jiuyue, what you need to think about now is how to find a backer who can match Xie Yan's strength, cooperate with him inside and out, and trap Xie Yan unconsciously in the shark cage.

Regardless of whether the words of thanks are sincere or false, everything has passed, and it is hard to get over the water, and it is hard to undo the broken mirror.

What stands between you is your father's life.

You were born for revenge, and you are not qualified to care about other things, otherwise you would be unfilial. As I thought about it, I felt my mind clear up, and all the thoughts I had been deceived by Xie Yan's affectionate words disappeared in an instant. .

"My lord, the scenery outside this window is so good, you don't feel tired of looking at it all day long?"

Huaixin brought in the lunch, set up a low table on the soft bed by the window, and put the side dishes on it bit by bit.

He looked at the food exuding a strong aroma, heaved a long sigh, his face was a bit sullen, "How many times have I told the kitchen staff that you don't like these meat dishes, my lord, you only like light vegetarian dishes , almost every day, every day, but the people in this capital seem to be all deaf, and they have promised well every time, and in the end they are still sent."

"No, I have to go to them. I really can't swallow this bad breath." He rolled up his sleeves and was about to go out. Then I turned my eyes back from the peach blossom tree outside the window and looked at the low table leisurely. on the meals.

If Huaixin hadn't mentioned it, I would have never paid attention to the meals of the past few days. Now that I look closely, I can't help feeling sad.

The sweet and sour pork ribs, Kung Pao chicken, braised chicken wings, and vinegared cabbage on the low table are all my favorite dishes when I was Feng Jiuyue. At home, my father spoils me, so I can eat it every day I realized that, later on, Xie Yan's table was gradually occupied by my favorite dishes, and his favorite dishes appeared less and less.

But now I am no longer Feng Jiuyue, my mouth, my stomach, my body, every organ of mine is telling me this fact that cannot be changed.

"Huaixin, it's okay, let's put it aside," I waved my hand at Huaixin, and slightly raised the corners of my lips, "This is the Prince's Mansion, your young master is just a little servant, don't let others see the joke."

"But!" Huaixin was still aggrieved, "It's clear that they are deceiving people too much. I have told the kitchen so many times that they insist on being such a disgusting young man. Vegetarian dishes are much easier and easier to prepare than these minced meat." , I just want to put it here to show off my skills, like who has never eaten meat."

"Maybe it's not because of nausea." I said lightly, picked up a crispy cashew nut with my chopsticks and put it in my mouth. The oily aroma of the cashew nut exploded between my lips and teeth, but I lost the satisfaction and satisfaction I had back then, and just lowered my eyes , Pulled a few mouthfuls of rice.

"It's not for disgusting people, what is it for!" Huaixin was full of disbelief, still staring at the meals angrily.

I took out the brocade handkerchief in my sleeve to wipe my mouth, and only told Huai Dao, "I'm full, take it off."

I didn't take a few mouthfuls of the food on the table, because my current body can't eat any oily food, and I already felt greasy in my mouth just after eating that small cashew nut.

Feng Jiuyue has long since ceased to exist in the world, and it was only at this moment that I fully accepted this cruel fact. Whether I wanted to or not, I had to admit that Feng Jiuyue had already been killed the moment I decided to commit suicide. I killed myself.

Even the body is different, should I still seal Jiuyue?

Some people say that the real death of human beings begins with forgetting. When everyone forgets your existence, when your existence disappears from the memory of relatives and friends, it is declared that the person has truly passed away.

My father and my mother and I have been caring about them all the time, what about me, is there anyone caring about me when I am dead?

Should be no.

I suddenly felt my eyes a little sore, and a warm touch trickled down from my eye sockets. It was time to drink some wine, so that the wind would blow me away. At that time, I would be as light as fog, and I could lie on the clouds and sleep.

"Huaixin, go buy some wine for me."

"Oh, my lord, what are you drinking in broad daylight?" Huai Xin disapproved very much and tried to persuade me, "My lord, you've never been a good drinker, so you should stop."

I could only deliberately turn a cold face to him, "Go."

The wine was finally bought, I asked Huaixin to go out and let me be alone for a while, he thought I was sad and homesick because of the meal, and he pursed his lips to comfort me.

I am indeed homesick, but not the one in Yuanzhou, but the one with my father.

I remembered the last time I had a drink with my father. He told me to be more sensible and mature, but I still can't do it.

Holding the wine jar in my arms, I sat on the soft bed in a daze, quietly looking at the cascading mountains in the distance, the sky was dyed into a fine painting by the fiery red warm sun, and the setting sun fell from the horizon.

I have watched the sunset here countless times. At sunset, Xie Yan will come to the next court, and he will eat with me. That is my only humble expectation every day.

But now I no longer have any expectations, this gorgeous sunset is meaningless to me, I close the window with a cold face, and kill those unrealistic fantasies in the bottom of my heart.

When the housekeeper came to see me, I was drunk and stared blankly at the person in the mirror.His cheeks were pink, his peach blossom eyes were full of mist, his black hair was not tied up, but only fell on the sides of his pale cheeks, there was a wave of water on his lips, and the melancholy between his brows was like the thick clouds before the storm. Clouds can't be melted away.

"Young Master Qiu, His Royal Highness the Crown Prince told you to go there, and the chariot has been waiting outside the door for a long time." The butler's voice sounded softly outside the door, with a slight hint of urging in his words.

I was ashamed to keep them waiting, so I hurriedly washed my face and followed them.

It was night time, the night dew was like frost, and the moon was hidden behind the thin clouds.

If I guessed correctly, Xie Yan should have just returned to the mansion from court at this time, and it is time for dinner, I don't know exactly what he told me to do, and I can't fathom his strange thoughts.

"His Royal Highness, Mr. Chou has arrived." After saying this, the butler withdrew.

Only me and Xie Yan were left in the room, and the air was filled with deathly silence and embarrassment.Every time I met him, there was a tense confrontation, but now it's so quiet, I don't know how to get along with him, I just look down at my toes.

"Dinner." Xie Yan's words sounded faintly.

His Royal Highness asked me to eat, so I have no reason not to eat.

I just sat down for a while before Xie Yan slowly picked up his chopsticks to pick up vegetables. The candlelight dancing on the table was very bright, illuminating his face as pale as a ghost, and his whole figure was like a lifeless and delicate puppet.

When he raised his hand, he inadvertently revealed a cold, white and thin arm. The skin on it was thin, but the blue blood vessels protruded, showing the extreme sickness and weakness.

Xie Yan is so skinny.

From the night when I was in Fengfu, I knew that he was much thinner than before, but now that I haven't seen him in just a few days, he has broken my perception, as thin as a beautiful painted skin ghost.

My heart suddenly felt uncomfortable, and I don't know why, anyway, it just hurts, the numb pain spread from the heart and lungs to the internal organs, and because of the aftereffect of drinking, my forehead throbbed. , Consciousness gradually blurred, and there was a buzzing sound in his ears.

I heard myself say, "How did you get so skinny?"

Soon I found the answer I wanted from the dining table. There was not a single item on the table that Xie Yan liked to eat. They were all Feng Jiuyue's favorite dishes, which were the few dishes that Huaixin criticized.

Xie Yan clearly doesn't like these meaty and greasy things, but only likes light and refreshing vegetarian dishes, but he still frowns and puts it into his mouth in retaliation. Repeated swallowing movements, as if deliberately punishing yourself with food.

He didn't answer my question, but just stared at the end of my right eye in a daze, as if with endless love and nostalgia, and also as a reminder and warning to prohibit sinking.

During the three years when I was not here, did he live like this?

But why!Why do you want to love me after killing my father!Why is your love so terrible and weird!

You are the monster, thank you.

The smell of alcohol was rising, and I could hardly control my body. Taking advantage of the surging drunkenness, I stretched out my hands, and suddenly held Xie Yan's narcissus-like face. A light kiss landed on his tightly pressed lips.

I was still trying to continue, roguely sticking out the tip of my tongue to pry his tightly closed lips, but seeing that his gray pupils were not closed, I fluttered my slender eyelashes a few times in a daze, as if I was carefully identifying the person in front of me. Who is it? The gray pupils are mixed with rare embarrassment and innocence.

But after a while, he looked at me with cold eyes as if he had been deceived by a bad man, and the coldness in his eyes almost froze my limbs.

I laughed suddenly, "I look exactly the same as Mr. Feng, and I am the same."

I thought Xie Yan would accept it readily, after all he pretended to be affectionate in front of me, isn't that what he wanted?

But he didn't, and the next moment I was pushed away fiercely, Xie Yan's eyes were full of murderous intent, his cold fingertips wrapped around my neck, and his tone was uncontrollably cruel and treacherous.

"You are not him."

The author has something to say:

"Because you're gone, I'm you."