The princess is reborn

Since that day, Xie Yan has treated me better.

He is cold by nature, calm and restrained in nature, and he is two years older than me. His deliberate tolerance and gentle tolerance always make me feel as if I have fallen into a sweet dream, and I am quite flattered.

During the day, I would go to the study to study ink and serve tea for him, and do some small things within my power. The generals chattering in the study seemed to have been specially screened, and there was no such thing as a thunder tiger, which made me very stuck. It's comfortable, sticking to Xie Yan for three meals a day, eating together in the study, and sleeping together in the attic at night.

But thank you, he is very cunning, if I am still awake, he will hold me on his lap, and coax me until I fall asleep, and then quietly climb to sleep with me on the couch, or, he handles official business When it was too late, when I came back, I was already asleep, and he would sneak up and hug me from behind.

And every morning, Xie Yan always wakes up much earlier than me, he puts his hands and feet lightly, and even the sound of washing up can't wake me up, so I haven't seen him staying in bed .

Even a fool can detect something is wrong during this period of getting along. I was full of confusion, and then I thought about it again, I have never seen Xie Yan leave that wheelchair.Maybe it was because he felt too embarrassed, that's why he didn't want me to see him. He would rather miss those times of cuddling each other, but also desperately protect the remaining dignity.

Xie said that he should be very concerned about his broken legs. Although he pretended to be indifferent in front of me, these cumbersome and redundant actions just showed that he cared, and every time he conflicted with me From time to time, he blurted out self-deprecating, he always said that he was a cripple, but in fact he just used this strong wording to cover up his inner uneasiness.

I am a person who has experienced it. When I was young, I didn't feel the difference between myself and other boys. It wasn't until those men brutally ripped off my pants that I realized that I was a monster.

And I have mentioned that I am a monster countless times, but I have never recognized my monster status. I hate myself for having such a deformed and weird body, but I long for someone to truly accept it and accept this monster-like body. I.

Xie Yan probably thought so too.

When he said those words that hurt himself, what he longed to hear was not ridicule, nor sympathy, nor pity. Just like what I longed for, what he needed was sincere recognition and acceptance.

Even if it is a monster, even if it is a cripple, it is a desire to be treated equally.

All of this is my fault. I did something wrong in a moment of confusion, which caused Xie Yan to become what he is today, like a perfect and exquisite Jade Buddha whose arms have been broken off. I know my sins well, and I have never given up making up for it I also gradually accepted Xie Yan's awkward self-esteem, and stopped asking stupid questions like a fool. Since Xie Yan didn't want me to see his fragility, I tried to avoid it as much as possible.

I didn’t force it any more, I just felt that my previous self was really unreasonable and naive, and when I couldn’t be appeased, I always acted like a child who couldn’t get sugar, and I had to keep making noises to attract the other party’s attention force.Xie Yan was kind enough not to tie me up and beat me up, which was considered merciful enough.

Xie Yan himself does not take his leg injury to heart, but I am not qualified to be so calm with him. After all, all evils are caused by me, I can never expose this matter lightly, and I have never given up Give Xie Yan a cure for his legs..

Thinking of this, I still went to the military doctor.

It happened that the military doctor was also free, so I asked about Xie Yan's leg injury, "Military doctor, is there any chance of His Royal Highness' leg recovering?"

"Ah, this." The military doctor's old face was a little embarrassed and confused. He stroked his beard and tightened his brows, "His Royal Highness, his leg. I haven't let the old man see it, so the old man doesn't know the specific injury. Is it still possible to heal?"

I carefully recalled the situation that day, and said, "If the leg bone of the knee is broken, can this situation still be repaired?"

"This," the military doctor pondered for a long time, then shook his head and said, "I'm not sure, I haven't carefully touched the broken bone, so it's hard to judge. Sometimes it's just a matter of reattaching it, but if the leg The bones are broken into powder, that is the medicine stone has no spirit."

"Unless Hua Tuo is alive, the old man has practiced medicine for many years and is not academically proficient. I am really helpless in such a situation. If this is the case, I am afraid that the young master can only hire someone else."

My heart sank with a thud, guilt, regret, self-blame and painful emotions surged up, making my brain go blank, and my chest hurt like a huge stone was pressed down.The fact that Xie Yan really can no longer stand up really makes me unacceptable, what should I do?what to do?what to do?It's not that I can't accept such a thank-you, but I can't accept that a person as proud and arrogant as him should suffer such pain for a lifetime. Just thinking about it, I can empathize with him and feel great distress and intense pain for him.He is such a proud person, if he can never stand up again...

I dare not continue to think about it at all, I just feel that I really deserve to die.

But in these painful emotions, I just remembered that when I had an asthma attack, Xie Yan flustered his fingertips and flapped the water drops on his eyelashes, and suddenly gave birth to endless courage in an instant. The courage to guard something precious without allowing yourself to cringe.

Feng Jiuyue, you can't be so fragile, you are no longer a child, you can't complain about yourself like this, you can't stagnate anymore, there are many things you can't continue to escape.If Xie Yan's legs and feet really can't get better, what should you do?You always have to prepare for the worst, and even if Xie Yan can't hold on anymore, you have to accompany him through the rest of the journey.

That's right, I can't fall down.

I am a sinner, but I can't give up any chance. Maybe Xie Yan's situation is not that serious, and maybe he will get better as long as he receives treatment. Everything in the future is unknown.

Feng Jiuyue, don't back down, don't be so timid, no matter what, you have to be strong, you can't always thank you to protect you and tolerate you, you have to be brave and strong, and become Xie Yan's support in the future, so even if he Even if he can't stand up in the future, it can also become his most useful crutch.

But even though I said that, my tears still fell down, wet the skirt of my chest, and my fingers were bitten out of broken wounds unconsciously.

"Young master, don't cry."

The military doctor sighed, his cloudy and old eyes looked at me lovingly, and his words contained gentle remonstrance.

"His Royal Highness avoids illness and avoids medical treatment. This is the psychology of ordinary people. What's more, he is such a proud and powerful person, and he has even more resistance to face his illness. But as a close person around him, you can't let him be so negative. If you continue to treat him, you have to persuade him and let him receive treatment."

"Even if there is really no way to heal in the end, those recuperating massages after the broken leg must be given to him every day, otherwise the pain in the future will not be easy."

The military doctor saw that I was looking at him with a half-knowledge, and then explained to me carefully, "This man has a broken leg... especially the knee is extremely fragile. In wet and cold weather, the inside of the bone will hurt uncomfortably. If this leg is not used for a long time, the muscles will atrophy severely, which requires daily massage|massage to make the injured feel better."

Yes, I can't fall down.

I can't be vulnerable anymore, thank you he needs me.

I wiped the tears on my face indiscriminately, forced a smile, and asked, "Military doctor, I will find a chance to bring His Royal Highness over here, but how do you do all the massage|massages you mentioned? No Can you teach me?"

The military doctor looked me up and down, then sighed, "Young master, your body is too weak, I'm afraid you can't do this heavy work, let others learn it."

I knew in my heart that Xie Yan would not allow others to touch his injured leg, so I said earnestly, "It's okay, I can learn it, don't look at me like this, I'm quite strong, I can definitely do it here."

"Young master, you should let someone else learn it." The military doctor obviously looked down on me, but I couldn't do anything about it, so I said, "I'll let my servant learn it from me, okay?"

The military doctor reluctantly agreed.

I asked my attendant to go to study every day, record all the main points on paper one by one, and pass them on to me when I come back.

The weather during this period of time was quite good, it was not a wet and cold winter, and there was not much rain, and the sky was clear all day long. I felt more at ease and shortened the time I spent in the study every day. Taking notes on conditioning and practicing massage techniques, and thinking about how to talk to Xie Yan about showing the leg to the military doctor.

"What are you thinking?" Xie Yan put down the pen in his hand, wrapped his slender fingers around my waist, and made a gesture to hug me to his lap. I backed away in panic, and the expression of resistance was written on the face.

The military doctor said that it is not suitable for Xie Yan to sit on his legs. This kind of weight is placed on his legs. It is a heavy burden on his broken legs, and it is not good for his legs in the future. recovery treatment.

But Xie Yan didn't think so. He always liked to hug me, whether it was a broken leg. Before or after a broken leg. As long as the two of us are together, if he is not at work, he will definitely arrest me. On the leg, he seems to enjoy this kind of intimacy, and he will get very angry if I show half refusal for his intimacy.

Just like now, he was obviously angry, looking at people with gray eyes, his thin lips were tightly pursed, his sword eyebrows twisted into a small hill, his cold white fingers were irritably pointing back and forth on the armrest of the wheelchair, his voice It was cold and hard, with full deterrent force, "Come here."

I knew that he was soft but not tough, so I lowered my head and walked to his side, with my legs next to his long legs that had nowhere to rest.

Seeing that I was so obedient, he restrained a lot of the hostility around me, he just snorted coldly, then put both long arms on my waist domineeringly, lifted me up easily, and wanted to Put me on his legs. I was very worried that his legs would be crushed, so I could only separate the legs and put the gravity on the armrests on both sides.

But this kind of posture is very embarrassing, it is very similar to the trick of a vixen who wants to refuse and greet. We rarely hug like this on weekdays. At most, Xie Yan hugs me like a child, but this posture pleases Xie Yan very well. .The tip of his nose fell to my ear, and he began to laugh in a low voice, his low-magnet voice had a deep breath, like a fire in a prairie fire in spring, and his sharp canine teeth bit my ear.

I could only dodge slightly, then gently buried my face on his neck, took a deep breath, and kept the faint cold rosin on Xie Yan's body in my chest, secretly cheering myself up , the voice was as soft as Wenzi, and he said in a flattering tone, "Xie Yan, you can't sit on your legs all the time, I'm afraid your legs will hurt."

"Mind your own business." Xie Yan didn't take my favor. His cool palms rubbed my skinny back, and deliberately stayed at the back and waist, kneading me like dough. His face was so red that he could boil an egg, and his ears were red. Knowing that Xie Yan didn't take my words to heart, he was only thinking about how to take advantage of me, so he was a little discouraged. The two arms that opened Xie Yan, under his indulgent and expectant gaze, slowly knelt down and sat down at his feet, rubbing his hot cheeks gently on his legs, like a cat inviting pets.

Xie Yan said that he did not stop my behavior, but leaned back a little, leaned his back on the back of the wheelchair, and looked down at me leisurely. He was dressed very simply and elegantly today, wearing a white cloud brocade robe, waist There is no jade in the room, but a simple dark purple sachet. The scent of rose flowers in the sachet is mixed with a touch of cool fragrance, and coupled with his deserted eyebrows and eyes, it fascinates me even more. He Xi.

It is always necessary to give some sweetness first to make things go more smoothly. Maybe Xie Yan will agree to me when he is happy. Thinking of this, I acted harder, raised my head slightly, and kept my eyes straight Staring at Xie Yan's forbearance and tense expression, it is also a special honor for me to be able to let a person like a banishment imbue me with the dirty desires of the mortal world.

After burning the incense in the corner for a whole quarter, I suddenly coughed, my eyes were red and tears started to flow, my fingers frantically wiped the dirt on my cheeks, Xie Yan stretched out his hand to comfort me, and his slender fingers landed on my face. On the side of the face, rubbing gently, as if rewarding a well-behaved and hard-working cat, the satisfied expression unconsciously brought a hint of pampering.

When he looked down at me like this, people with light eyes and thin lips would always give people a feeling of indifference and indifference, but the thank you words now did not. His smile is like a Jade Buddha who is willing to be dirty by vulgar things.

"Thank you, can I discuss something with you?"

I still sit on the floor all the time, because I love to stay in this study these days, so a thick blanket is laid on the floor of the study, so that I won’t feel cold when I sit on the floor.

"Talk about it." Every time Xie Yan gets close to him, his mood will become better, and he will be especially easy to talk about.

I put half of my body on Xie Yan's leg. After hesitating again and again, I asked cautiously, "Xie Yan, can I ask the military doctor to come over and look at your leg?"

The moment the voice fell, the whole world fell into silence.

The shadows of the sun outside the window fell heavily on half of Xie Yan's face. On one side, he was surrounded by the bright sunlight, while on the other side he was surrounded by the shadow of thick clouds. He was as beautiful as a demon or a fairy, both righteous and evil.

Before the corners of his lips could be retracted, they turned into a sarcasm in an instant, and the light color of his pupils instantly turned into the vertical pupils of a poisonous snake. He looked at me coldly, as if looking at something dirty. Vulgar, with a cold and ruthless tone, "Why, are you starting to dislike me as a cripple again?"

"Oh, no wonder you didn't want to give me a hug just now."

"That's not what I meant." I straightened up anxiously, grasped his arm nervously, and tried my best to explain, "I just think that your leg ... needs to be diagnosed and treated. If you let the military doctor take a look, maybe it will get better. "

"When you get better?"

Xie Yan's eyes were so strange that he seemed to have never known me, and he seemed to hate me to the core. He grabbed my jaw with such force that I suspected that the bone had been crushed, and the painful tears turned into tears. When the string fell, I was so painful that my body was shaking, but I couldn't break free, so I could only cry out.

"What about after you're done?" Xie Yan leaned over slightly, bit my ear fiercely like a vicious dog that has lost its mind, and whispered in my ear, "After you're done, are you Can you leave me with peace of mind? Isn't that what you have in mind? "

I know that Xie Yan is very sensitive now, just like I am worried that he will dislike me as a monster, this is normal, I am too impatient, I dare not move, I only wrap my arms around his Neck, hugged him with all his strength, endured the pain in his ears, anxiously and tried to explain to him, "No, I won't go, I will always be with you, I won't leave, Don't be afraid, but we can't give up hope, what if it can really be cured?"

But Xie Yan didn't listen, he was like a wild beast whose wounds were torn open, love and care can no longer be his fetters, what he wants to do now is to use harsh words and rude words Atrocities, to destroy the one who caused him pain and embarrassment.

He pushed me away viciously, and watched me fall to the ground with cold eyes, his gray eyes were like the snow that had not melted for a thousand years on a high mountain, and between his thin lips opened and closed, there was the alienation and coldness that resists people thousands of miles away, "Go away go out."

"Thank you." I wanted to stand up in embarrassment, but my tailbone hurt so badly from the fall, and tears fell down patteringly, weeping Jingui's blanket into strands, complaining aggrievedly , "You pushed me again, my ass|butt hurts so much, come and hug me."

But my deliberate weakness did not soften Xie Yan's attitude. He looked at me coldly, and stabbed me with words after a while, "I'm disabled, I can't hold you, go find your blind pursuits come and hug you."

Thank you is too much.

But it was all my fault.

I sobbed and stood up, acting like a baby to Xie Yan as usual, begging to be hugged by him, but he turned his back on the wheelchair, no matter how much I begged, he was unwilling to look at me again.

Afterwards, I was dragged away from the study by the soldiers for my mischief.

Xie said that he ignored me. Without his permission, I couldn't step into his study, so I couldn't see him for several days. No matter what methods I tried, he ignored me.

I was so panicked that I couldn't sleep at night, and all the milk tea I sent in during the day was brought out. I tried to write a letter of apology to Xie Yan, but the soldiers at the door told me that His Royal Highness would not let them send me Pass things in.

How to do.

Will Xie Yan never see me again in this life?

Am I doing something wrong?Maybe Xie Yan doesn't want to stand up at all, am I too bad, or am I not taking Xie Yan's feelings into consideration?Thank you, will he forgive me?When can I see him again?I don't dare to ask him to look at his legs anymore, but I really didn't dislike him, I just think that if his legs are cured, Xie Yan will be happy again.

I just want Xie Yan to be happy.

But I still did something wrong.

I have been thinking about how to reconcile with Xie Yan all day long, I can't eat, I can't sleep well, I have lost a lot of weight, my dark circles are heavy, and I look lifeless, even the military doctor saw me like this With a bad look, he also secretly asked me if I need to prescribe some soup and medicine.

It was night, the third watch had passed, all the candles in the room were extinguished, but I never felt sleepy, I tossed and turned on the bed with my eyes open, sighed but still didn't think of a perfect way to admit my mistake to Xie Yan.

In the dead of night, people's five senses will always become particularly sharp. For example, when I was writhing, the tip of my nose suddenly smelled the burning smell of sparks, and I heard the panicked footsteps from far to near.

"Young Master, Young Master." The servant's panicked voice was accompanied by a violent knock on the door. I could only hastily put on a robe and walked to the door. When I opened the door, I saw the servant's panic-stricken expression. Blood was all over his upper body, part of his hair was burnt, and he stammered to me, "Young master, it's dangerous, follow me, I'll go."

Before I could think about it, I was dragged by my attendants to run in the corridor. The strong smell of blood and the heat wave of the flames rushed to my face. Every few steps was a tragic corpse. The soldiers who met me and smiled gently at me, but overnight, they all became cold bones, their voices and smiles went to the west with the monstrous flames and cold butcher knives.

"Young master, don't be dazed, come with me." Seeing my hesitation for a moment, the attendant grabbed me hard, trying to drag me away.

I looked at the taupe-brown building in the distance, and my heart stopped for an instant. It was Xie Yan's study room. I desperately grabbed the attendant's shoulder, unable to restrain my trembling, "Where is Xie Yan, where is Xie Yan?" , is he still in the study?"

"No, I'm going to find Xie Yan. His legs and feet are bad, so he won't be able to run away. I'm going to save him." I murmured like this, then put aside the attendant's hand, and I was about to go to the building. Rushing to the burnt attic.

Thank you, don't worry about it, don't worry about it.

Everything in the attic was shrouded in a sea of ​​flames. Countless burned beams and supporting beams collapsed in an instant. When I ran to the attic, the flames just burned the last trace of its support, and the entire gray-brown building It just collapsed before my eyes.

"Do not!!!"

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"

I hugged my hair and screamed sharply, and endured the severe pain in my chest, and hurriedly rushed into the pile of ruins, but the attendants behind me grabbed me tightly, not letting me go. I approach the billowing fire.

"Don't pull me, don't pull me, I'm going to rescue Xie Yan." I roared, like a hysterical beast, roared at the attendant, and waved my clenched fist.

The attendant managed to avoid my punch, and said to me in a hurry, "Young master, you follow me first, His Royal Highness will be fine, you follow me first, this building has been burnt down, you The past is useless now.”

But I couldn't listen at all. I cried until my face was covered with tears and snot, but I still yelled, "It won't help the matter, thank you words will definitely be fine, don't talk nonsense."

"Okay, okay, His Royal Highness will be fine, young master, follow me." The attendant's voice was very gentle, but my ears were buzzing, and I couldn't hear anything. I couldn't care about anything, but the attendant But he suddenly pushed me away, and I fell to the ground before I had time to prepare, and my eyes lost focus when they touched the scene in front of me.

The attendant's body was pierced by a machete. The man who killed him had a fierce face, a tall and burly figure, and kept approaching me with a bloody machete. The blood, blood on my face, was the blood left by the attendant. He died, he was still comforting me last second, but this second he turned into a cold corpse, unable to breathe anymore.

Xie Yan, are you still alive?

Xie Yan, are you dead?

If you die too, then I have no need to live.

The strong man approached me step by step, staring at me fiercely, as if appreciating the panic on my face, in the blink of an eye, I suddenly thought of a person, and blurted out, "You are Thunder Tiger subordinate."

"That's right." The brawny man didn't panic even after being exposed by me, but raised his butcher knife high and said in a cold tone, "I'm here today to avenge our Boss Lei."

"Where is Xie Yan, is Xie Yan dead?" It's ridiculous, at this moment, I am actually asking the murderer about Xie Yan's whereabouts.

"Hehe, they were all burnt to the ground. Do you think I can still live?" The strong man let out a charming laugh, like a devil in hell laughing at my wishful thinking.

It must be a kind of happiness to die together with Xie Yan.

I curled my fingers, grabbed a handful of sand, and threw it towards the strong man. He was caught off guard and lost his eyes, but I seized this opportunity, like a fluttering butterfly, straight towards the sea of ​​fire rush away.

But halfway through my run, I was stopped. It was Xie Yan's scarred face under Xie Yan's study, the soldier who had shown kindness to me. He carried me on his shoulders, and spoke to me in a calm and solemn voice. Said, "His Royal Highness is fine, he asked me to pick you up."

"Sorry, I was late and frightened you."

I gave up struggling, and let him take me to the carriage outside the city. I didn't relax my tense nerves until I saw the unscathed thank you words. Finally found the tired bird returning home, and jumped into Xie Yan's outstretched arms.

Xie Yan caressed my back and kept giving me comfort, only then did I realize that his whole body was trembling slightly, his eye circles were red with bloodshot eyes.

It turns out that I am not the only one who is afraid of losing.