Manhattanhenge

It took nearly an hour for Su Hui to slowly digest the bad news.

It was as if his sky was already dark, but fortunately there were a few stars that made his nights not too lonely, but now, another star went out.

The gardener came over and weeded the garden, the last weeds of winter.Even though the glass door was locked tightly, Su Hui seemed to smell the grassy smell. He closed the curtains and ran into the bathroom to vomit.

Su Hui discovered that it is really easy for people to disappear in this world.His uncle, Ning Yixiao's mother, always sees or disappears, unlike movies, with spoilers and warnings, the real world is as bad as a game of whack-a-mole, except that they are not the ones holding the hammer, but It's a gopher scurrying away, tired of one blow after another.

He'd love to escape, he'd love to stay, but he's just a gopher stuck in a hole accepting reality.

All afternoon, Su Hui read in the room, reading out loud to fight mania and pain.When it was dark, he thought of something, found a box that had not been opened for a long time from the storage drawer under the bed, entered the password to open it, and found a small box at the bottom, which contained some simple tattoo tools.

He bought it with great enthusiasm before, but when the item was delivered, Su Hui had already turned into depression, and he couldn't arouse any interest at all, and then it was forgotten.

There were fewer tools in it than he had imagined. Su Hui unfolded a long instruction manual, but couldn't help himself not to read it out.

So he took all the tools, locked himself in the bathroom, took off his shirt, and after reading the instructions for use, he found a skin that he thought was suitable and accessible, and disinfected it with alcohol pads.

Hyung manipulated his brain, and even though he had read the instructions, Su Hui still capriciously did not follow through. Instead of rubbing, he directly applied ink, aiming at the skin at the hip bone.

The tattoo was more painful than he imagined, and it was much more difficult than he thought.Every time he pricked it, he would think of Ning Yixiao's face.

The heater in the bathroom made a thin layer of sweat form on his arched back, as well as on his forehead. Su Hui's hands trembled a little, and the stabbing stopped after a while. It was only a line of English, but it took him three hours to finish.

The result was more beautiful than he imagined. Su Hui took a look in the mirror. The slight bumps and redness on his skin made it more real. Putting on his coat and coat, he sat cross-legged in front of the French window, admiring the garden at night , began humming.

In the middle of humming, Su Hui stopped suddenly, because he found that the fish tank in the garden was also missing.

In the early morning of the next day, the servants opened the door and brought over the clothes they had prepared for the funeral.Su Hui is like a doll at the mercy of others, putting on an all-black shirt, suit, and black overcoat. Finally, Ji Yanan, who is also dressed in black, also comes over and pins a white silk corsage on him. It looks a lot like white camellia.

Su Hui showed a quietness that was very inconsistent with the manic period, and he nodded when Ji Yanan said something.Due to the special family relationship, only their mother and son went this time. Before going out, Su Hui saw the haggard grandma coming down the stairs. He walked over and let her hug her.

"Don't be too sad." Grandma stroked his hair.

Su Hui shook his head. He glanced at his mother who was on the phone, and begged his grandma in a low voice, "Grandma, can I borrow your cell phone?"

Grandma thought about it and agreed.

Su Hui got the phone and immediately called Ning Yixiao, but no one answered. He didn't have enough time, so he could only send a quick text message.

[I'm Su Hui, Ning Yixiao, I'm at home now, don't worry about me, I'm fine, I'll see you soon. ]

After the text message was sent, Su Hui returned the phone to his grandmother, and before he had time to say another word, he heard his mother tell him to go out quickly.

Ji Yanan was driving the car, Su Hui was sitting in the co-pilot, and the car seemed extremely quiet.

The sky is so gloomy that it looks like a swollen and rotten sponge, without wringing it out, it seems to drip water.

Su Hui leaned against the car window and said nothing, as if the restless self had been cut out.

Ji Yanan opened his mouth and explained the process, saying that they would go to their uncle's house first, then pick up their aunt and go to the mourning hall together.

Su Hui does not express any opinion on the matter of adults.

Their uncle's house was not far away from them. Su Hui often went there when he was a child, so he still remembered the route, but later his grandfather refused to let him go, and his uncle didn't live at home, so they never saw each other.

Sometimes Su Hui would dream of him and talk to his uncle in the dream, and he thought that his uncle would dream of him in the same way.

Some relatives gathered at my uncle's house, all of whom looked familiar. Su Hui followed Ji Yanan and greeted them obediently, but only nodded.But because of the special occasion, everyone was not in the mood to exchange pleasantries, nor did they mind Su Hui's silence.

Although Ji Yanan was only the former eldest daughter-in-law of the Su family, after taking over the business of her deceased husband, she has been taking care of the Su family, including Su Jin's younger brother Su Yun. A little at a loss, she retreated a little and stood behind her mother.

"Xiao Hui, go up and ask Auntie to come down." Ji Yanan turned her head and said to Su Hui, "Remember to give this to Auntie later, it's a paper document from the funeral parlor."

Su Hui nodded, took the black paper bag from her mother, turned around and walked upstairs step by step.

He still remembered the layout of the house, and also remembered that the uncle and aunt's room was the innermost one on the second floor.The doors of the rooms on the second floor were all open, but the innermost master bedroom was closed. Su Hui walked over and knocked on the door.

There was no response from the room, so he tried again, still the same.

He pressed his hand on the door panel, and suddenly found that the door was not locked, and it opened with a push.

"Auntie?" Su Hui watched the door slowly open by itself, and his field of vision gradually expanded, but there was no one in the room, and he did not answer.

Su Hui called again and walked in.The room was extremely clean and tidy. When he walked in, he found a note on the bedside table with a few lines written on it.

After Su Hui finished reading, his hands froze suddenly, and he let go unconsciously. The fluffy paper, like a white ghost, wobbled and fell to his feet.

At this time, Su Hui realized that the door of the closet beside her was not fully closed, and there was a piece of black skirt between them.

Shaking his hands, he opened the door of the closet, and then sat directly on the bed that was made without a single wrinkle, holding the edge of the bed with his fingers.

"Mom..." Su Hui forced himself to stand up and wanted to leave the room. He called out to his mother and repeated it many times until the sound of Ji Yanan's high-heeled shoes came. lie down.

It never occurred to Su Hui that he was attending the funeral of two people.

The police came soon and asked Su Hui a lot of questions, but he didn't have much to say. They read the note left by his aunt, checked the closet again, and made a judgment easily.

The furnishings in the mourning hall also changed, and they placed aunt's next to the black-and-white photo of the uncle, in pairs, both of them looked like they were young, with bright smiles and a perfect match.

Su Hui knelt on the futon, as if she had been given a paralyzing injection, her face expressionless.

Everyone thought he was frightened, and they came to comfort him one by one, hugged him, and brought him hot ginger tea. Only Ji Yanan knew, not just because of these.

When it was time to give speeches, relatives and friends walked to the microphone and read out the written condolences. The atmosphere was very sad for a while, and everyone wept softly and wiped their tears.

Until the aunt's own sister came forward, she originally read it according to the reading, but in the middle of the reading, she crumpled the manuscript paper she had prepared and covered her face and wept.

"I only wrote about my brother-in-law... I never thought my sister would leave too..."

She cried and said, "When my brother-in-law was first diagnosed, we all persuaded my sister to divorce him. She refused to say anything, but what love does a mental patient have? He will go crazy when he gets sick. He can beat people, and when he is done, he hugs his sister and cries, I know they love each other very much, but, but..."

Su Hui thought of the suicide note, but there were actually only two sentences.

[I always knew this day would come, so I was ready for it.Maybe this is cruel to you, but I love Su Yun, don't be sad, this is the best choice. ]

Before she could finish speaking, heart-piercing cries suddenly came from outside. Ji Yanan looked over and said no, your aunt's mother is here.

Su Hui also looked back, and saw an old man with gray hair crying loudly outside, being stopped by other relatives, his hysterical crying pierced Su Hui's last defense of self-paralysis.

"Why do you insist on going with him! My poor daughter... told you not to be with him long ago! He is crazy, you are a very good living person! Do evil..."

Su Hui burst into tears suddenly. Tears welled up like a fountain. He lowered his head and wiped with the back of his hand, but the more he wiped, the more it seemed.

When Ji Yanan saw it, he wiped away his tears, and forcibly pulled Su Hui into his arms. He didn't say anything, but just patted him on the back.

This is like an extremely cruel death education about love.

When the funeral was about to end, it was already past noon, and no one knew who had invited the mage.The mage in cassock performed a ceremony that made Su Hui numb. After reciting scriptures for the deceased, he led his disciples to each of the guests and presented them with amulets.

They passed by Su Hui, and the apprentice recited the introduction that had been repeated many times, "This is the consecration amulet, which can ensure safety and success."

Seeing that Su Hui didn't answer, Ji Yanan secretly touched his arm with his elbow.

Only then did Su Hui stretch out his hands and take the amulet from his apprentice, "Thank you, mage."

Just as the mage was about to leave, Su Hui stopped him again, "Master, how can we get what we want?"

Ji Yanan looked sideways and reminded him in a low voice, "Su Hui."

But the mage froze, looked back at him, with a kind smile on his face, as if he was amused by his childish question, "little benefactor, all dharmas are born of karma, and all kinds of dharmas are born from the mind. Causes will be planted, but if you want to make things happen, you need to practice external conditions to create karma. As the saying goes, sincerity leads to spirit, often do good deeds, always have good thoughts in your heart, and always make wishes in your heart, and good thoughts will come true. "

Su Hui clasped his hands together, with tears in his eyes, "Thank you."

Ji Yanan couldn't understand it, and didn't understand why Su Hui suddenly wanted to explain his doubts to Buddhism, which he never believed in before.In fact, Su Hui didn't understand either.

He had nowhere to go, he just wanted to find a sustenance, anything would be fine.

At this moment, Su Hui, who had always criticized idealism, followed the example of others, kneeling on the futon piously, putting the amulet in his palms, and kowtowed three times.

He decided to pray for Ning Yixiao once a day in the future, and he should make a wish in his heart, asking him to be healthy and happy, with a bright future.

When leaving, Ji Yanan took Su Hui back to the car.The return journey was not so silent, Ji Yanan tried to communicate with him.

"Xiaohui, I know you are very sad now, but there are some things that mom still has to say."

"Mom is also very regretful. You shouldn't be allowed to go up to find your aunt alone today. I didn't expect things to turn out like this, but to be honest, I didn't seem so surprised after it happened. Your uncle and your aunt are First love, when the two of them first fell in love, they ate with me and your dad, at that time I thought they were so sweet and understood each other, like the kind of soul mates in movies who want to grow old together."

She said with a choked voice, "But no one would have thought that your uncle would suffer from such a disease. To be honest, the symptoms of schizophrenia are really terrible. Once he came to our house for dinner, and you were not here. We were chatting , very happy, suddenly he overturned the table, I was very impressed. How many times has your aunt been in a situation like this?"

Su Hui remained expressionless, holding the amulet and staring out the window, motionless, but did not interrupt her.

"The most frightening thing is that he has a tendency to self-mutilate. He tried it again and again, but he had no choice but to be hospitalized and locked up..." Ji Yanan paused for a while before continuing, "Generally speaking, everyone will pay attention Focus on the sick person, few people pay attention to the sick partner, I also persuaded her to divorce, but she loves him too much, there is no way to leave him."

At the red light, Ji Yanan stopped the car and glanced at Su Hui.

"Actually, I don't think the love of you young people is superficial. I also know that it's the first time you like someone. If you love him, he may love you too. But Xiaohui, sometimes it's better not to love so much. Be afraid The relationship is too deep. Your father and I are an example. When your father is gone, I can barely walk out, but your aunt can't do it, and she can't even stand it for one more night. "

"Long-term pain is worse than short-term pain. This makes sense. Mom wants to say something cruel. You are a patient and you have to be responsible for the people you love."

Su Hui thought, this day is really long, like an endless execution.

And what my mother said was the last few knives, which ruthlessly pierced my heart.

Ji Yanan fell silent. After 1 minute, the phone rang suddenly. She glanced at the number, it was an important work call, so she parked the car on the side of the road and got out of the car to answer it.

She didn't give any instructions. Su Hui sat in the co-pilot and looked at her mother. She unbuckled her seat belt, opened the car door softly, and ran across the road without hesitation.

Two minutes later, Ji Yanan hung up the phone and sighed when he saw the empty car.She lit a cigarette, stood on the side of the road and smoked quietly before driving back.