Destiny of crossing

It is said that the word love is tiring, but who can abandon the word love and be as chic as the wind?

At least I can't do it, even if I give up the possibility of joining hands with Shen Yi, I still have expectations in my heart, but now, I have been forced into a dark corner, and I can no longer express it openly.

I don’t want to think about everything that happened after that, because it was so disgusting, I have never done such a disgusting thing, I used my body to please a man in a humble way, a man who treats you as sex/ slave man.

Undoubtedly, that kind of experience left an indelible shadow on my heart, because of my "excellent" service, Sima Yao agreed that I put on clothes to find the lock heart jade.

As soon as the amnesty came, I didn't bother to put on my shoes, and ignored the severe pain in my arm, and searched inch by inch in the cold autumn rain.

The piece outside the window is not very big, just a few rocks, a small peony bush, a piece of bamboo and a not deep pond.

I have searched for such a place no less than ten times, but why is it not there?I clearly saw him throw the jade here.

I found the night from the day, and found the dawn from the night, and gradually lost confidence in the search.

Sima Yao stood in front of the window, watching coldly, with a hint of mockery hanging from the corner of his mouth.

He said: "It seems that Shen Yi doesn't want to have anything to do with you, so that piece of jade disappeared."

I was exposed to rain and cold, so I fell ill naturally. Due to the delayed treatment of the injury, my right arm was so swollen that I couldn't lift it up. It happened to be the fifteenth night of September, and the toxicity of the twelfth lunar month frost recurred again.

The feeling of struggling in dire straits, the feeling of suffering in limb pain, I don’t know where I feel uncomfortable, I just feel that the pain is overwhelming, the sadder it is, the images of fear or shame that I have experienced before are in my mind Keep rolling.

I really want to die, why don't you call me dead?

I rolled on the emperor's dragon bed in pain, my hair was disheveled, and I sucked it into my mouth, probably no different from a lunatic.

Then, I fell into a warm embrace, a warm and firm embrace, and I was tightly fixed, unable to escape.

The body is getting warmer and warmer, even though the pain on the body is still there, but the mind is much clearer.

I heard that soothing voice hovering in my ears like a spell.

"Ran'er, hold me tight."

"Persist for a while, the imperial doctor said that after tonight, you won't be so sad."

"Don't be afraid, you will be fine, I will always be by your side."

"Do you feel better?"

"You know? When it's cold in the future, I'm the only one who can hug her."

Shen Yi, it was Shen Yi's voice.

The nightmare finally dissipated, the pain seemed to be bearable, and the tiredness gradually increased, and I was finally able to spend the difficult night in a deep sleep.

I woke up in his arms, my body was no longer cold, but my throat hurt badly.

I looked at his concerned eyes, and knew that last night, I should have regarded him as Shen Yi.

But that's fine, let's treat him as Shen Yi for now, so he won't be so entangled!

But it's terrible, the more I tell myself that he is Shen Yi, the more clearly I know that he is Sima Yao.

But when I want to tell myself that person is Sima Yao, I always see the shadow of Shen Yi from him.

Since his illness, Sima Yao has calmed down a lot. He didn't ask me to "serve" him, and he didn't say any more sarcasm. Instead, he came back to my bed as soon as he got up, asked me how I was, and took medicine for me every time. He was really "flattered" ".

Counting the days, tomorrow is the day of Xuan's big wedding, and I stayed in the palace for seven days in a daze. Fortunately, Sima Yao has sent someone to thank Xuan, saying that everything is fine and I will stay for a few more days. Otherwise, that fool, I don't know what to worry about.

When I think of him, my heart is warm like spring, and I feel that the flowers all over the world are blooming gorgeously.

My throat no longer hurts, my head doesn't hurt anymore, my spirit is much better, and even my swollen arm has subsided a lot.

I dare to ask for instructions, Xuan wedding is approaching, I have to go back early to get busy!

Sima Yao agreed in a very reasonable manner: "However," he added: "The border has not been very peaceful recently, and the Qin State has repeatedly made troubles. I will be dispatched to Badong County to guard the border on another day, but my sister suffers because she has to stay alone in her boudoir as soon as she gets married."

Sima Yao smiled, and touched my face with one hand: "It's unexpected? Soldiers should protect their homes and the country. He has rested long enough. But when the time comes, Xie Xuan will not be in the mansion. Most of the family members in the mansion are women. You are in Xie's mansion." It will be very inconvenient to live in, in order not to attract criticism, you will move to the palace on the same day, so that I will not keep calling you, how about it?"

how?That momentum, how can it be a question?It is simply an imperial decree. Excuse me, do I have a choice?

In the afternoon, I put on a new dress specially made by Sima Yao, with golden threads and jade strands, light and thin, with a jade crown on my hair, making my whole body graceful and luxurious.

Going out, eight large sedan chairs are waiting gorgeously.

Sima Yao put his hands behind his back, raised the corners of his mouth, and looked superior: "Pei Ran, I said, as long as you follow me wholeheartedly, I will guarantee your prosperity and wealth, and you will have no worries about food and clothing."

I just find it ironic, is this all I got by selling my body?Ridiculous, glory and wealth, when did I value it?

I thank you, turn around and get on the sedan chair.

On the street, this gorgeous eight-carrying sedan chair attracted the attention of countless people and some curious voices.

I leaned on the backrest, thinking that Xie Xuan was about to leave, I felt my heart was completely hollowed out.

Perhaps to a certain extent, I have become too dependent on him.

Today, Xie Mansion is full of red, the festive atmosphere is direct and strong, and the familiar courtyard makes me feel warm.

When the godmother saw me, she smiled dotingly and kindly, and complained that I was only willing to come back these days after I had been away.

Xie Xuan looked at me, still smiling reservedly and warmly, like a shy sunflower.

And I, happy to be happy, but I can't laugh heartlessly like before, careless and flamboyant, and lose my vitality all of a sudden.

When we were alone with Xuan, a cloud of sadness appeared on Xuan's face. He told me about being sent to the border. On the one hand, he wanted to take me with him, but he was afraid of the bitter cold at the border. In Beijing, he was worried.

I knew why he was worried, so I just jokingly said, "What worries you about me? You are married to a wife, why don't you worry about your wife and mother?"

Xuan Que blushed all of a sudden, and explained: "They are not as capable of causing trouble as you are. I don't look at you, how can I rest assured?"

My nose was a little sore, and I rubbed it vigorously with my hand: "Don't worry, I will stay in the mansion until then, and I won't go anywhere."

But Xuan became serious: "The emperor seems to be a little... strange to you. I am not afraid of others, I am afraid of him. Besides, that Huan Chong committed a heinous crime and attempted to kill you. I am afraid I can't feel at ease."

"Huan Chong——" Although the tragedy of that day was investigated by the governor, Xuan continued to assist. Even so, even if there were real evidence, it would be difficult to arrest Huan Chong, and the emperor had to be afraid of him and dare not take it lightly. Offended, thinking about the brothers and sisters in Fengming Pavilion who died in vain, my heart is filled with grief and indignation.

"I will pay attention. As for the emperor, he values ​​me very much now. I know how to measure it now. I won't easily anger that tiger. Don't worry!" How about Yue writing you a letter?"

Xie Xuan hesitated again and again, and finally agreed.

This night, I still couldn’t sleep well, and my dreams were always inseparable from those cruel and bloody images. Before dawn, I no longer wanted to fall asleep, standing by the window, facing the cool autumn morning breeze , Touching the empty chest, feeling in vain.

There is a saying that is true, people have to learn to bear pain when they are alive, and there is another saying, life is fair, if God gives you one thing, he will definitely let you return it with another thing, on the contrary, when you pay something , will also necessarily get the other.

So from today, I must learn to give first, and forge myself to be strong, so that I can bear more pain.

Xuan's wedding was successfully held. The lobby was full of dignitaries and dignitaries who came to congratulate him. Xuan was dressed in a bright red groom's attire and stood at the gate to receive the guests. Extraordinary, I can't help but admire, the princess really has a good eye.

A high platform was set up in the yard. Looking from the open door of the lobby, one could just see dancing, juggling, etc. on the high platform, and a few children ran wildly around the high platform.

As I usually like to join in the fun, I have been involved in it for a long time, but now, I just feel that my heart has jumped from 20 years old to 30 years old, happy and happy, but I can't be active at all.

I simply stayed in the side hall, helping the housekeeper calculate the gift money, write the gift list, and feel comfortable and quiet.

Out of the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of a blue dress floating in. When I looked up, I saw Xie Lang's face smiling so much that only one mouth remained, and the two triangular eyes were squeezed out.

I stood up and cupped my hands: "Brother Xie."

Xie Lang closed his mouth, still unable to cover his big white teeth, cupped his hands and said, "My dear brother." Then he sat across from me without any notice, and smiled at me again: "When did you become so polite? Unlike you, It's not like you, it's so lively outside, how can you stay there?"

I shook my head and smiled, sat down and continued to write the gift list: "I don't know those people outside, and they can't help much. Why don't you do something useful here, um, you can also practice calligraphy."

"No, no, Xie Xuan's two elder brothers have rushed back. I heard that their fourth mother has adopted a godson. They all want to see your true face in Lushan!"

"No hurry, there is plenty of time."

We were chatting one after another, Xie Lang suddenly closed his eyes and stared at my neckline. I felt something was wrong, and I continued to look at it. It turned out that at some point, my lapel was a little looser. A bluish-red hickey was revealed.

The author has something to say:

It is said that writing this tangled thing is indeed very angry, and I am getting angry after taking medicine~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

However, add more collections, more comments, and more flowers, and it will definitely get better sooner than taking medicine!

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