Destiny of crossing

I was carried into the Chaoyang Palace, and in a coma, I seemed to hear the fierce quarrel between Sima Yao and the Queen Mother.

My head was muddled, floating and sinking.

Is it a dream?Is it phantom?I can't tell the difference.

I only know that there are such a pair of hands that surround me all the time, and such a pair of eyes that pay attention to me all the time.

The nightmare gradually dissipated, but in this strange room, there was incomparable peace of mind and peace.

I stayed in Chaoyang Palace, no one dared to disobey the emperor's will, and so did I.

The Empress Dowager never appeared in front of me. I don't know how the Emperor persuaded the Empress Dowager. However, my heart is still uneasy.

I lived a peaceful life for a few days, because of the injuries on my body, these days, Sima Yao didn't ask me to sleep with me. Every night, he went back to his Shou'an Palace, and I was in my Chaoyang Palace.

The palace is huge and the scenery is beautiful, but I don't like to walk around, I am suddenly afraid of other people's eyes.

I still remember the way everyone looked at me after getting off the carriage that day, and I still remember that I was carried into the palace by Sima Yao that day, because I really couldn't leave.

Every day, I just sit quietly in a daze on the one and a half mu of land in Chaoyang Palace, watching the geese pass by without a trace, and watching the long stream of water.

Occasionally, I would think of the tune I heard in the village that day and memorize it in my heart.

Sometimes when I saw Bai Yuxiao, I would worry about Brother Wang's condition, and I would also think of Fu Jian, and think of that desolate and sad cry.

My injury was actually not serious, and most of it was healed within a few days.

On this day, I received a letter from Xuan on the border. I held the letter, saw his familiar tone, admired his strong and powerful handwriting, and felt that life is still very beautiful.

Waiting for Sima Yao has almost become a habit, he comes regularly every day, and always appears at the gate of Chaoyang Palace with his hands behind his back, waiting for me to pick him up.

When he was reviewing the memorial, while reading a book and drinking tea, I stood aside and served him quietly. Sometimes I felt that we got along very harmoniously.

At night, sleeping in each other's arms, my heart is always beating violently. The masculine thing on my leg always disturbs my mood. I don't know if it's fear or nervousness.

He would always talk in his sleep at night, not very clearly, but I could still hear him asking over and over again: "Why, why...!"

Why?yes!All of this, you, or me, what is it for?

After more than half a month of recuperation, my health is almost good, and Sima Yao finally couldn't bear it anymore.

That night, the tent was warm and the jade night was warm, and we were lingering until death. That night, the love of spring was rippling, and he whispered in my ear, "Pei Ran, what Fu Jian can give, I can give you the same."

He said: "I want to make you queen!"

He caressed my face, took out a purple gold box beside the pillow, took out a white bead-shaped thing from it, and brought it to my mouth: "This is Wangqing Pill, if you eat it, all the previous love will be gone." Forget, there is no trace, as long as you eat it."

The heart that had just been bathed in warmth became extremely cold in an instant.

Forgetfulness Pill?What a ridiculous word, forget your feelings, forget your feelings, if people can forget their feelings, then what is there to miss in this world?

Sima Yao's eyes shone with longing and determination, and the elixir persisted on my lips: "Ran'er, as long as you are willing to forget them all, I will make you queen."

I looked into his eyes, and felt that the eyes were hurting my eyes. I closed my eyes, turned my head sideways, and replied, "Thank you, Your Majesty, for your love. I, Pei Ran, have a low life, and I'm afraid I can't afford the empress." call."

"You don't want to?" In that low tone, there was a trace of despair in the seemingly indifferent tone, "Aren't you willing to forget?"

Time seemed to freeze at this moment, and there was no sound in the space.

After a long time, I heard the sound of the box being buckled, and the weight on my body suddenly disappeared, followed by the sound of sparse clothes being dressed.

"When you are willing to eat it, I will come again."

I opened my eyes, only to see Sima Yao's back, and the purple gold box quietly placed on the table.

I don't know why my heart is empty, I want to cry, but I can't cry.

Get up and stand in front of the window, look at the half of the moonlight, the cold wind blows in, even the heart is cold.

Do you want to forget?I was talking alone under the moon. In the middle of the month, I seemed to see Shen Yi in camouflage and holding a submachine gun in front of me. I saw Shen Yi grilling fish for me in the primeval forest. Shen Yi, if the whole world can forget, only you, I can't.

Sima Yao really hasn't been here for a long time, seven days?ten days?I can't remember clearly, I only know that the moon has gradually rounded up from a semicircle, and it is almost fifteen!

Every day, I am still used to looking at the door, looking forward to the arrival of that figure, it is too lonely!

Every day, I would open that fund box and look at the white Wangqing Pill lying quietly inside.

Do you want to forget?I asked countless times, but was denied countless times. Gradually, I put the box in the forgotten corner of my heart, and the figure who came on time every day.

On the night of the [-]th day, the twelfth lunar month was full of frost. I hid in the quilt, hugged the stove, and was still chilled.

I really miss, I really miss the warm body that hugged me when the cold broke out!

I really want, I really want to see who will touch my lonely and lonely soul!

In the end, what I want is just a warm embrace, so that I will no longer be lonely in the lonely and cold night.

I let go of the quilt, threw away the heater, and jumped into the freezing water of the pool on an autumn night.

Sima Yao, why don't you come here?

When I woke up, I was lying on that gorgeous bed in Chaoyang Palace, surrounded by several eunuchs and court ladies, but Sima Yao was nowhere to be seen.

Thousands of expectations, only turned into a moment of confusion.

I looked at the hanging beam and wanted to laugh, laughing at my stupidity and greed.

Pei Ran, you can't let go of the past, why bother looking forward to the future?Since you can't give your sincerity, what qualifications do you have to ask for others' sincerity?

I learned that song, and in the lonely nights, I kept deliberating and singing it.

Let go, let go, the love in the world is over, and we can't get together for a long time.

Missing, missing, the eternal smog and solitude, turned into the bones of the whole life and the sorrow.

I named this song "Lovesickness".

Chaoyang Palace and Shou'an Palace are separated by a wall and a door, but there is a gap that cannot be crossed.

And the door on the other side leads to an unknown place.

I finally stepped out of that door, the door in the opposite direction from Shou'an Palace.

In that unknown place, there seemed to be a kind of power attracting me. I walked by feeling, getting farther and farther away from Chaoyang Palace, but getting closer to that power. After that, I came to a quiet mountain forest, a A forest standing in a remote corner on the edge of the palace.

The little eunuch next to me told me that there are several orphanages on this mountain, and it is a place colder than the cold palace, and no one usually comes to this mountain.

I looked at the bleak scene and the solitary courtyard with a faintly exposed foot, and felt as if I had lived here in a certain year and a certain month.

Stepping on the top of the mountain, I saw that the majestic imperial palace was so far away from me at this moment.What a nice place, maybe here, I can play that piece to my heart's content without disturbing anyone.

When I came again, I brought the jade flute with me, and when the first note was played, my heart was trembling, the long-lost feeling, the familiar tone, the desolate feeling!It seems to penetrate the heart.

Here, I come more and more frequently.

That day, I still came to this mountain, but saw a little girl about thirteen or fourteen years old sitting in the woods, with a sad face.

I wonder why there are children here in such a remote place?I saw the little eunuch on the side hurriedly ran to kneel down, calling what little princess.

The little girl turned her head, looked me up and down a few times, and asked with a rather haughty expression: "Who are you, seeing that the princess doesn't kneel down?"

The little eunuch wanted to say something, but I interrupted him.

I smiled and knelt down on one knee: "I'm a new eunuch, I don't know the rules, please don't be offended by the princess."

The little princess pouted and said, "It's true that you don't understand the rules. I haven't seen a eunuch disregarding himself as a slave, so what's your name?"

The little eunuch next to me is called Laifu, so I thought: "The slave's name is Facai."

"Fa Cai?" The little princess jumped up, patted the dirt on his body, and looked around me a few times: "You are so handsome, Fa Cai, why did you come here? Hey, you have a jade flute in your hand , do you know how to blow a job?"

Seeing the cute and childish appearance of the little princess, although arrogant, but also very likable, he immediately replied: "Yes."

The little princess immediately widened her eyes, and her eyes were shining with crystal colors: "Then why don't you listen to it? It doesn't sound good, and I will punish you."

I got up, playing the song "Lovesickness".

The little princess frowned: "Why are you bragging so resentfully? No, you have to be punished."

"How does the princess want to punish the slave?" Seeing her childish nature, I didn't care about the punishment she said, and my tone became relaxed and active.

The little princess pulled the little Ma Huaben who ran to the front, biting her pink lower lip, looking like she was thinking hard, suddenly she yelled, she seemed to have thought of an idea, waved her hand to call me over, and motioned me to lower my body , and then whispered in my ear, "I want you to help me steal something, no, take something."

The author has something to say:

I want to travel east with a crane, so I ask for ten days off.