Why aren't people raising me

"Jay, you've changed a lot."

Masaharu Nakahara sighed, "In front of Satoru, I would have the illusion that nothing happened, but you... have traces left by me." It was a sense of stagnation that could not get out of the past.

"...Aren't you afraid to face me?"

This sentence seemed to be filled with burning heat, Xia Youjie obviously paused for a moment, then he raised his brows and eyes, his expression changed from a slightly dull expression to a smiling one very naturally, this is a false yet genuine smile, Nakahara Masaharu is very familiar with it, because he will use such a disguise to hide his emotions when he shows etiquette on necessary occasions.

"Why do you say that?" Xia Youjie asked back, "It's been several years since your death...and leaving, I just became calmer, if I cried and hugged like Wu, um..."

He covered his upper lip and showed a playful smile, "It doesn't look very reliable."

"So the teacher mainly maintains a steady and solemn image at all times?"

"It's necessary."

"Is there no rest time?"

"..."

"Even in front of friends?"

Xia Youjie shrank his fingertips.

He put down the steaming coffee, Masaharu Nakahara glanced at it, the liquid was pitch black and bitter at first glance.

"Pure instant coffee doesn't taste good at all, even if I don't drink it for a long time, I won't get used to it."

Xia Youjie: "But I'm used to it."

"It can be replaced with tea."

"Drinking tea is more troublesome."

Masaharu Nakahara looked at him quietly, "You are like this, you are saying clearly that you are missing me."

Xia Youjie was visibly stiff again.

He stared into Yazhi's eyes thoughtfully, although it was a child's face, but the expression easily made him distinguish whether the soul inside was ignorant and immature, "Why do you feel that you are...more frank now?"

The advantage of Masaharu Nakahara is his frankness.

He chased from Mihua Town to Yokohama like a jelly candy, and wanted to find Nakahara, who had an accident, to find out the cause and effect. No matter what the reason was, he couldn't accept being separated from his brother. He apologized when he made a mistake, and let him protect him when his heart ached. Be good to yourself, in short, he hates misunderstanding and dodging.

Osamu Dazai would say he is a slimy little slug, because he inherited Chuya Nakahara's loyalty and honesty, their hearts are equally warm, they can open up to those who come towards them, they can accept new partners and return the same respect Be sincere, not shrink into a clam shell like a coward.

"Why are you so reckless and desperate?"

A long time ago, the 15-year-old Dazai Osamu looked at him with a strange look, "As far as I know, it is very strange to raise a middle-aged man in the environment of Leibo Street."

At that time, Osamu Dazai was completely curious about the two brothers. While arguing with Chuya with sharp words, he approached them with the intention of exploring, wanting to see why they lived so desperately.

How did Nakahara Masaharu answer back then?

He said, "Because Chuya gave me all the trust and love."

He said frankly the nasty words that adults can't avoid, "So I will not be afraid of anything, even if I regret it, it doesn't matter, because I will always have a way out, and I will never be alone."

"A person...may be really confused and lonely."

Masaharu Nakahara, who was supported by trust and love, has grown into a bold and sincere appearance.

So after he found out that something was wrong with Jie, he rushed up to ask.

"I have become frank, because I have died once. It is precisely because I have experienced the tearing and consummation of life that I know that the most terrible thing in life is regret."

Masaharu Nakahara raised his eyes, his eyes were a little aggressive,

"So I don't want to have any regrets afterwards."

Masaharu Nakahara took a step forward, holding hands still seemed too nasty, so he just tugged at the black-haired young man's robe, "Jie, if you have something on your mind...be sure to speak up."

But Xia Youjie seemed to be choked by something, and his expression became dark and difficult to distinguish. It was the feeling of wanting to speak but being unable to speak, which was more bitter than taking poison.

"I……"

Masaharu Nakahara narrowed his eyes, thinking of something, he tentatively said, "Before you say it, I have something to tell you first."

"……what?"

"It's great that you're fine." Nakahara Masaharu smiled, "You survived such a siege, did they make things difficult for you after I died? Can I make a bold guess... Are those people all dead? Can I escape your revenge?"

revenge.

The conjurer's revenge.

Conjurers are a bunch of lunatics.

Masaharu Nakahara later thought of the reaction of other people after his death when reviewing his memory.

The cause of death must be revealed. Nakahara Masaharu does not accept being plotted against for no apparent reason. Others should be too. Compared to Masaharu, they made decisions under the pain and pressure of the deceased.

How did Akashi Seishi put pressure on the magic world, and it will continue to Akashi Seijuro's generation and will not stop targeting. Six Eyes has been clamoring to get rid of those rotten oranges at the top, and will really take action under the rage ?And Xia Youjie, who faced his death head on - as long as he was still awake, he would never let those cursers who came to besiege Yazhi go.

"They..." Xia Youjie's eyes changed a little when they talked about the bloody matter, "There is none left."

"You should regret it before you die."

Xia Youjie laughed, like a sneer, like a wry smile, "Their appearance of regret is much more exaggerated than those shown in TV dramas."

It's true that the tears flowed, and I was so scared that I lost control.

Masaharu Nakahara curled his mouth, he didn't have many complicated personal feelings about the picture in his imagination, he cared more about——

"Jie, thank you for avenging me."

What Masaharu Akashi failed to do, his brother and best friend did.

"I remember that in your previous life plan, there were no options such as making money or doing charity." Masaharu Nakahara looked at the monitor, and the movements of various pedestrians were broadcast on the screen. Compared with monitoring the scene of the event, this It’s actually more like—observing human reactions.

What kind of expressions do ordinary people show when they do good deeds?

When they heard about the donation project, whether they were saddened by the tragic experience of others, whether they suppressed their smiles and listened carefully, which person has more empathy and which person is dismissive, almost all of them are clearly in front of them.

How many people have donated, and what is the identity of the donor, whether it is a president, a white-collar worker, an ordinary clerical worker, a cleaner, or a student.

Charity activities are activities that show the beauty of human nature.

Xia Youjie...do you feel any comfort here?

"Thank you, Jay."

Masaharu Nakahara said seriously,

"You were doing this while I was sound asleep in my brother's arms."

"Whether it's because of me or not, the achievements you left behind will definitely allow you to go to a pure white place after death."

Probably the world to go after death is too wide, and Xia Youjie's accumulated emotions were emptied for a moment, his voice was a little helpless, "Curse me dead now, I am still young, you guy said before I'm a short-lived ghost."

That's right, Masaharu Nakahara had secretly reminded Xia Youjie of his death before, but he just borrowed the method of the game and informed him like the result of divination.

Although Xia Youjie didn't believe it.

Masaharu Nakahara was noncommittal, he motioned Xia Youjie to squat down a little bit, because he was very tired when he raised his neck,

"It's been hard work for you, Jay."

This is what Nakahara Masaharu wanted to say to him the most,

"You really did a very good job, the kind that amazed me, the kind that made me feel grateful from the bottom of my heart."

If Zhongyuanzhong is here, I am afraid that I will tremble with stomach pain and say: Don't read out the pretentious literary sentences in the composition in reality.

But Masaharu Nakahara spoke too sincerely, and Xia Youjie, who was brought into his emotions, ignored this sense of disobedience and was very moved.

"Thank you for something..." the black-haired youth trembled,

"Obviously, I didn't do anything."

He seemed to have returned to the moment when Akashi Masaharu died, the air was full of dust and blood, the roar of the curse spirit made his ears hurt, and the malicious eyes of the curse master were as real as they were.

"What's the use of taking revenge? After you died, I broke through and brought down those people in one fell swoop, but that's meaningless. If I had become stronger earlier..."

"So you're feeling guilty?"

Xia Youjie inserted his fingers into his hair in a slightly decadent manner, "Guilt is the most useless thing."

It seems to be gradually slowing down,

Xia Youjie began to tremble,

It was like falling into an extremely cold place, the limbs and bones were infected with the freezing temperature, and it seemed that it was just because the open mouth of the heart could not resist the outside wind, so I felt from the inside out that although I was in the world, But there is no warmth.

Who is the person in front of me?

Looking at the strange yet familiar face of Masaharu Nakahara, Xia Youjie felt that the strangeness accounted for most of it.

The old man returns, but not in a familiar appearance.

Reason and judgment tell Xia Youjie that Masaharu Nakahara is undoubtedly Masaharu Akashi.

But... Akashi Masaharu is not like this.

The white-haired child stood here, trying to remind Xia Youjie over and over again——

"I didn't protect you well."

The black-haired powerful super-class said hoarsely, "You called me that day because you thought you would be safe with me around. You trusted me to protect you, but I didn't."

It became a nightmare that haunted him for several years.

"Yazhi, I didn't protect you well."

During that time, Xia Youjie developed serious self-doubt.

Tenuchi Riko died in front of him, and Akashi Masaharu also died in front of him. Both of them gave him the task called "protection".

But he wasn't done.

This is more painful than the failure of exorcising the curse spirit,

Compared with the pain of loss, self-esteem is the least important thing to pay attention to.

The nightmare swept over again, Xia Youjie lowered his eyes, put his hand on his forehead, and covered half of his face by the way, not daring to look into Masaharu Nakahara's eyes, he thought Masaharu might say something comforting, for example, it wasn't his Wrong, don't blame him or anything.

"..."

But after a long time, Xia Youjie could only hear the faint sound of breathing.

Fearing that something might happen, Xia Youjie immediately opened his eyes and looked forward.

The next moment, he suddenly felt someone touch the top of his head.

Nakahara Masaharu smoothed his hair, "Are you going to cry?"

Xia Youjie said honestly, "I can't cry..."

"Maybe the emotions are not in place yet, let's stop brewing." Masaharu Nakahara helped him straighten the little balls on the top of his head, "One of the ways to heal psychological trauma is to talk, but it is difficult to find a spiritual listener, so I am very happy It is an honor to have your closeness.”

Xia Youjie: "..."

"You have taken good care of yourself, your hair is still very soft."

Xia Youjie hesitated to speak.

Masaharu Nakahara smiled and stepped forward to wrap his arms around his neck,

"Anyway, I'm back."

"Don't ignore me, I will be sad too."

Skin to skin is heart-palpiating, the temperature of life.

Xia Youjie took advantage of the situation to embrace him,

After a while, he muffled a reply,

"Ah."