positive fruit

Chi Kong was not like this when he first entered the temple.

At that time, most people were poor, and there were too many people who sold their children, but Chikong was lucky.His family handed him over to the former abbot of Xuci Temple to convert him to Buddhism, so that he could at least earn a living.

Shaved hair to practice, can only eat fast and recite Buddha, but for the little fool, there is nothing to complain about.However, it is a little bit of a tight life, compared to the days when I could only dig weeds to satisfy my hunger, it is much better.

Children from poor families are in charge of the family early, and Chi Kong is much more sensible than ordinary children.Let sweep the floor, let the laundry, even the morning class is the most serious one.Compared with other senior brothers, Chi Kong is indeed much better at enduring hardships and standing hard work.

The host also liked this child from the bottom of his heart, so he directly accepted him as a direct disciple, and there was a senior brother above him.

The two have completely different personalities, the senior brother is naughty, he is well-versed in the world, but also able to take care of himself alone, it seems that he is indeed a talent.And Chi Kong is a little old-fashioned, I don't know if it is because of his childhood practice, but he is more like an adult than his senior brother.

But every time the senior brother teased him, he couldn't help but blushed, like a child.

I still remember that when the senior brother entered the world for the first time, he brought back a cloth tiger for Chi Kong when he came back.

It was pitiful to say that a child who was only ten years old received a gift for the first time in his life.Although in Chi Kong's eyes, the old gray monk's robe that he received when he came to the temple was already the first gift he ever received.

The cloth tiger was rough in workmanship, and it barely looked like a tiger, but in fact, even the character Wang on the top of its head was crooked, and the majesty of the tiger was also missing, which was funny and made people laugh.But Chikong is still placed on the bedside like a jewel like a treasure, and falls asleep with it every night.

A monk should be pure-hearted and ascetic, and it is really wrong to be so obsessed with something like this.But a child who lacks love habitually takes his own things very seriously, and Chikong hides his thoughts so deeply that others cannot see it, which is inevitable.

This cloth tiger almost accompanied Chikong's entire childhood, and the senior didn't throw it away until the color faded away.Chi Kong at that time actually wanted to keep the puppet willfully, but reason restricted his movements.He watched his senior brother throw away the puppet without a trace of reluctance on his face, as if he was looking at something insignificant.

Who knew that his eyes were red that night and he cried a lot?Waking up early in the morning, Chikong still looked like that, as if nothing could prevent him from realizing the true fruit.

The days passed quickly, and Chikong grew up day by day. All the brothers, including the host, and even himself, felt that he could achieve the right result of cultivation.And the cause of the incident was the first meeting under the tree that day.

Chikong was 12 years old that year, a moderate age, just opened his mind.But Chi Kong, who has been indoctrinated that emptiness is form and form is emptiness, doesn't know what love is at all, and no one has ever told him.Maybe the senior brother once mentioned something, but he doesn't remember it either.

That day, a guest came to the temple, and Chi Kong, who was thinking about Qingxiu, was alone with a broom and carefully swept the fallen leaves under the tree.He was almost in a trance calmly, with a concentrated expression as if he and the pile of leaves were the only ones left in the world.But a voice suddenly interrupted him.

It was a crisp sound like the jingle of spring water, with a rising end, saying: "Hello, little monk."

That was the first time Chi Kong saw Lan Cen.

The bright warm sun emits non-glare light, but the person against the light seems to have fallen from the sky.His eyelashes and hair were shining golden, and the corners of his mouth were raised, forming a contemptuous smile that almost dazzled people's eyes.But the prettiest ones were his eyes, a pair of clear peach blossom eyes with seductive charm.When those eyes stare at people, they can reflect people.That touch of tenderness makes people have the illusion that the world belongs to him, but he has dedicated himself to you.

Chi Kong, who was rigid and serious all day long, listened to such an incoherent tone, which should have been preaching or even unpleasant, but he didn't say a word.

He couldn't tell what kind of feeling it was, but it was as if he had been bewitched, lost his thinking, lost his actions, and only his eyes looked at the person in front of him motionlessly without instructions.

Afterwards Chikong knew that he was insane at that time.

Really crazy, he seems to have really realized that the four things are empty, everything is left behind, everything is blank in his heart, only the person in front of him, even the fine hairs on his face are traced by his eyes It's crystal clear.

Unconsciously, as if the atmosphere had been exaggerated to this point, Chi Kong suddenly remembered what his senior brother told him-"Love, love, it's just that you only have this person in your eyes, and you can't live without this person. That’s why there are so many idiots in the world, because their souls are taken away by the people in their hearts. We monks, without love, we will naturally not be insane, and if we don’t be insane, we will see clearly.” Chikong understands without a teacher. After this sentence, including love at first sight.

If it is said that it is like Chi Kong, it will not be contaminated with worldly love, but Lan Cen is not an ordinary person.From Chikong's point of view, he looks like a fairy, with extraordinary handsomeness and outstanding temperament. The kind of self-confidence that Chikong doesn't have in his bones makes him appear to be in high spirits, unrestrained and unrestrained.

That is the person Chikong has always envied, like a ray of light, others can only fly to the flame, but they cannot compete with it.Everyone is ashamed in front of this person, including Chikong.

After an unknown amount of time, Lan Cen was not angry and shouted in a good-tempered manner: "Little monk, you have regained your senses." He looked at the immature little monk in front of him, and couldn't help laughing inwardly.Lan Cen deliberately moved closer, and turned his face towards her. His peach blossom eyes were shining brightly, as if they were alive, with a certain agility.

Chikong felt that he had lost his composure after hearing the sound, but the magnified handsome face in front of him captured all his attention, making him powerless to fight back, and he could only take a few steps back, as if he had encountered some scourge.Lan Cen finally couldn't hold back anymore and laughed out loud.His laughter was also extremely nice, and when it entered people's ears generously, they felt a bit free and easy.

Chikong was shy for the first time, but he was naturally cold, his face didn't show it, but there was some pitiful pink on the tips of his ears.Lan Cen is a playful person, although he is a bit older than Chi Kong, but he is still a child, seeing such nonsense, naturally he has to adjust a few words carefully.

"Then can you tell me where your host is?" Lan Cen said with a playful smile.The young and energetic Lan Cen naturally doesn't believe in ghosts and gods, so he just came here with his parents, not really answering questions and listening to the nagging of those masters.

Chi Kong replied to him carefully, saying: "The host should be preaching scriptures and discussing Taoism in the main hall now, the benefactor can go there to find him."

Lan Cen didn't want to look for trouble, but suddenly someone answered seriously, and the little monk didn't mean to be joking at all, and the fun in his heart seemed to fade a bit, he replied in a pretentious manner, and then left.

Chi Kong is full of regrets and fears that he will never see him again, but he doesn't know that he himself has lost this fate.

Lan Cen came and left that day, and when he was attracted by some other weird people and things, this insignificant exchange could be forgotten in an instant.Can be crazy.For Chi Kong, who has never had fun before, meeting someone like Lan Cen who is almost the same age but looks like someone from another world is like keeping a sweet but reluctant to eat it. Sugar, take it out every day and savor it, and you will be satisfied.

Xu Shi didn't even know Chi Kong himself when he turned this simple feeling into an enduring obsession.Perhaps from his feelings for Buhuo, he can vaguely imagine what kind of difficult situation this love at first sight will be pushed into by him.

Things have indeed developed in an uncontrollable direction.

Master Chikong, who is so beautiful in the eyes of outsiders, has a demon in his heart.

Inner demons are born from the most shady obsessions in the heart, and a person as restrained as Chi Kong is the easiest to have inner demons—because there are countless secrets in his heart that cannot be revealed.

Chi Kong's reaction when he saw Xin Demon for the first time was almost so calm to the point of being weird.He looked at the person in front of him, extremely gorgeous, extremely beautiful, everything from fingertips to hair looked like the person in his heart.He knew that this person was his demon.

But he can't kill him, he can't forget Lan Cen.So he allowed the demons to breed, but never had the idea of ​​eliminating him.The inner demon really understands him, and will appear in the dead of night, calling him little monk, to shake his Buddha heart.

It is impossible for a monk who has inner demons to achieve positive results.Chi Kong, who is as calm and self-retained as a rock, loves Lan Cen so much that he has a demon, and at the same time puts the demon aside and ignores it.He seemed to be suppressing his desires, but he never tried to eliminate his emotions—contradictory and extreme.

Such a person is terrifying and pathetic, sympathizing with all sentient beings, but he himself has no one to save him.

In this way, Xinmo and Chikong got entangled with each other but miraculously lived in peace until Chikong came back for the first time.

Chi Kong that night really abandoned all his forbearance and pretense, and completely vented his dirtiest and twisted desires.The inner demon let him get whatever he wanted, but that person just regarded it as Lan Cen.

Chi Kong knew why he was so hysterical that day, but looking back now, he only felt that it should not have happened.When he entered the WTO that day, he couldn't say he was looking forward to or happy, but just continued in a flat manner, as if the host asked him to sweep the floor.

Chi Kong, who has experienced pain, looks at those mortal beings who are either dazed, pale and emaciated, or looking for death and life. While empathizing with them, they are unable to help others from the bottom of their hearts.

How could the pain in his heart be a little less than others?

Although Chi Kongwu realizes that he sees through the world of mortals, he is also trapped in the world of mortals and cannot break free.How can we use the tone of being above all living beings, and talk about Zen that has nothing to do with ourselves?

But after staying in the secular world for a long time, Chikong can't help but feel the difference between him and others.If other people were in severe pain, they would definitely cry or cry, but he didn't, he seemed to be split into two people, one was indifferent, and the other was heart-piercing.

But he is not real when facing outsiders, and he is crazy and out of shape when facing demons.Maybe even he himself is not sure whether he is a Buddha or a demon who cultivates.

Chi Kong, who was supposed to enter the world to realize Taoism, seemed to have come for nothing. Even though many people called him an eminent monk and believed in his Buddha, he still didn't feel that his going down the mountain this time was an experience for him.

Maybe he didn't get anything, but God just played a joke on him.

Chi Kong, who happened to be wandering around in the busy city, suddenly saw a familiar figure.It is so familiar, that figure has been traced in his mind countless times, so that the demons in his heart are no different from him.

He didn't know his name, he couldn't stop calling him, even if he stopped, Chi Kong would be the same as when we first met, and didn't know what to say.The bustling stream of people pushed Chikong and him farther and farther away.

Of course, Chi Kong would not let Lan Cen, who had finally seen him, just disappear in front of him. He waited for this reunion for many springs, summers, autumns and winters. The tree shed its leaves and took out new branches, repeated countless times , This is the side that waited for.

I don't know what happened today, the crowds are rushing to one place, one after another rubbing shoulders one after another, making Chi Kong, who was almost so crowded that he lost his image, still be trapped in the same place.

In desperation, Chikong could only stretch his neck long, like a duck being picked up, staring at one place with his eyes fixed.

The man who was dressed brightly and delicately before now stood out from the crowd and stood out from the crowd, but he leaned towards a place as soft and boneless, leaning against the arms of a rich man.The man even stroked his waist with his hands, and gradually moved down.

Chi Kong, who should have been ashamed to see this scene, was uncharacteristically, watching almost masochistically, holding a certain unwillingness and anger, saying that this scene was deeply etched in his mind.

How can that person?The pure moonlight in Chikong's heart seemed to have been polluted by someone. Apart from nausea, he also had the urge to kill.

Lan Cen is the unique light in Chikong's heart, beautiful and bright, so good, all positive things should belong to this person.But those dark and evil things should never be stained with this person.

That man, damn it.If it wasn't for reciting the mantra of purifying the heart several times in his heart, Chikong might have already moved to kill.

He suddenly lost all his courage, because he was not even qualified to question, but this did not prevent him from continuing to have a kind of anger born of betrayal.

Inexplicable and unimaginable, as a monk, he has been trapped by love for so many years, and even broke the precept, all because of a man.

The sex in bed that night was like a dream that was so bizarre to the point of absurdity.Chi Kong didn't know what he was doing, as if he was dominated by some invisible thing.His rationality has long since collapsed, only his actions are almost like a wild beast.

For the first time in his life, Chikong enjoyed the bliss of the world like a normal person, but he couldn't feel the slightest bit of happiness, and his heart was still bitter.The bitterness did not turn into tears, but condensed into thick sadness, sinking in the bottom of his eyes, just like he usually does not want to show his emotions.

Such a violent storm is whitewashed, which will only make it more pitiful.

No one understands him, but he doesn't want those who really want to understand and comfort him.

People are always like this, as long as you have a head, even if you know it is wrong, you will still go all the way to the dark.He tried to numb his own pain as if to hide his ears.

The Heart Golem is like that Lan Cen in Boss Jia's hands. While being forced to take over, he can't share a sympathy.Fortunately, the demon is voluntary.He likes this monk.

The monk is already insensitive to feelings, not to mention that Chikong already has someone in his heart.Although he also hated himself for disturbing the purity of the Buddhist sect, and for ignoring the Tao and sanctification, he was still stubborn and refused to listen to the persuasion of the other self in his heart, even worse than a child.

After several years of entanglement like this, Lan Cen returned to Xuci Temple, and Chi Kong seemed to have returned to the original point, reunited with him under that tree.

The insanity at that time seemed like a world away, like a fledgling boy, looking at his sweetheart, shy to speak, but full of joy, always wanting to force himself to say something, so that his wish can be fulfilled.

Although Lan Cen is completely different from when we first met, in Chi Kong's heart, Lan Cen is Lan Cen, and he will feel heartbroken for what happened to him, but he will not hate him because of it.

Those eyes still had the freedom and ease that he was fascinated by, but because he was in a desperate situation, they were even more dazzling, which is very rare.

Chikong is not good at words, he can only say the same words as if he was facing those who are in deep suffering.Fortunately, Lan Cen didn't go away because of this, he said that he would like to make friends with him.

Just because of such a sentence, and the name that was put in his mouth and uttered softly, Chi Kong felt like he would die without regret.That kind of happiness is incomparable no matter how many nights you spend with your demons, the psychological satisfaction at that time.

Those few days were Chikong's happiest time.Not only can I see Lan Cen every day, but Lan Cen also treats him differently.They are like soulmates, heart to heart.

At that time, the inner demon always looked for him.It almost threw away everything to seduce him, to tease him, like an old prostitute in a brothel, Chuguan, who would do everything in order to keep him.

Even Chikong has to admit that Xinmo is even more like the man he fell in love with at first sight than Lan Cen.

That exactly the same face, with a reckless smile, unruly and unruly expression between his eyebrows and eyes, he seems to do everything for his own pleasure, but no one thinks he is being rude, on the contrary, it adds a different kind of charm .

As if the inner demon had caught him, he became more and more like Lan Cen, but because of the resemblance, Chi Kong would not believe it.He can't go back now.

He is often just an escape from the demons, but also because of a long time, the man's bad nature will show up.Most of the time, he still has a little pampering towards it, but he has a hard-hearted heart to let it taste a little bit of sweetness, and then quickly put on a disgusted face.

But if you want to say it, you can't say it.This man who is naturally fickle and ungrateful has already put his whole heart on others, how can he give others a little bit of charity?

True and false, false and true, even the demon born in the heart of ignorance can't detect his true thoughts.

On the day when Lan Cen left, Chikong was filled with sourness and reluctance, but because of the silent farewell at the time of parting, he became happy in bitterness.

A little farewell is better than a newlywed, and that idiotic Xiao Kong Xiao has been thinking about the reunion after a long absence for almost half a lifetime, which is enough to make him memorable for the rest of his life.

But things backfired, before he had time to taste the sweetness in it, that person passed away in the most tragic way.

Chi Kong, who had just heard the news, couldn't believe it.How did that person die?Obviously before, he still smiled at him and talked to him, he would have thought that he was even loved, but why did he just say no and it was gone?

The Buddha said: Life is never gratifying, and death is never sad.

When Lan Cen died, whether he was sad or happy, Chi Kong had no way of knowing, but he himself was in extreme pain because of the pain of cutting a living piece from the tip of his heart.

It turns out that sometimes living is really more painful than dying.

With such a strong sadness in his arms, Chikong is almost ignorant of the suffering of life.Because he is almost the same kind of person as them, but he has to provide psychological support for others.But no one could save him.

He put the wound aside because he didn't have the time and energy to lick it secretly.Let it fester, but it can't heal anyway.Almost all the food and sleep he ate was used to heal his injuries. He was getting thinner and thinner, but the wounds were so painful that they were numb.

After returning to the monastery, he plunged headlong into his meditation room, chanting scriptures all day, which seemed to be the same as usual.But if you hide it from others, you can't hide it from yourself.

Even when the inner demon jumped out to comfort him, he accepted it all. His self-control and calmness had already been defeated.

People who have lived in the life of the walking dead collapse, but Chikong seems to have found a place in this sick life.

Not crazy, not live.

When he saw the straw mat wrapped around Lan Cen, he really came out of self-torture, because he didn't need to struggle to lie to himself anymore, he should wake up and face the death of this person.

He spent seven days to save Lan Cen, without sleeping or resting, without eating or drinking, making people almost think that he had realized the Tao and passed away early.

Seven days later, he came out, so thin that he was almost like a shriveled corpse.Anyone with eyes can see such a face, and he has a dead air.

The abbot also has a lot of affection for Chikong, after all, he is a junior student of the same school as him.But also because I am too familiar with it, I know that at this time, it is meaningless to say anything.

After returning to the meditation room, Chi Kong fell asleep, as if he had no worries, but he knew that his spirit and soul had been completely separated.It's not that he wants to sleep, it's just that his body needs to rest.

After waking up, the first thing Chikong did was to completely cut off from the demons.

He said: You are not him.

It says: I love you.

Chikong understood at the last moment, and because of understanding, he knew that he couldn't give it what it wanted.

He himself has been tortured by love, and he naturally knows that it is best to get out.

The inner demon begged him to put his appearance in the past, maybe it would really soften his heart, but now, Chi Kong, who has witnessed Lan Cen's death, no longer has any emotion for that face.

His heart was taken away with that person.

Heart demons, heart demons, without a heart, how can they exist?

What he loved, what loved him, was gone at that moment.

Chikong saw the tear shed by the demon, but he couldn't feel anything.Feeling ashamed may be this kind of feeling. Someone is willing to shed tears for you, and you don't feel pain or itching, and you won't even be moved.

Chikong let out a sigh of relief, forcibly living longer than he originally estimated.

Before passing away, he saw his past, there are Buddhas, there are people

Memories from childhood to adulthood are kept in my mind over and over again, the ignorance of the little novice, the emptiness of the first move of the heart, the entanglement with the demons, the ignorance of the super blue cen...

He is like a person who accepts Ling Chi, watching those scenes disappear bit by bit, the sudden appearance is the accumulation of past sufferings, tormenting him thousands of times, making him make a choice.

To continue suffering, or to let go.

In the end, he chose to let go.Those two people seemed to be killed by him, and they were overwhelmed by the Buddha's light.He cut off the world of mortals, and went to the land of bliss that the Buddha said without any worries.But tears flowed out.

At that moment, the painful feeling ended, making him cry with joy.

It's hard to let go, but if you let go, you're really on the bliss.

The author has something to say:

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Please little cuties love me, for you, the dog author almost wanted to die on the spot