late morning rain

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"Morning Rain and Late Words" Author: White Opium

Copywriter:

Please look at me before I fall asleep

Content label:

Search keywords: Protagonist: Xu Chenyu, Chen Lian, Luna┃Supporting role: Wang Xiaowei┃Others: short stories

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☆, dream

"you are my sin."

I went home after the late repair, started the computer and opened the document, and saw this sentence at the end of the article.

The icy chill in the air swept over his body.

who is it?

Who turned on my computer?I clicked on the document I haven't finished writing in the past few days, and wrote this sentence?

I clenched my fists.

As the cold wind passed through the hall, I suddenly looked back and saw the shadows of trees flickering outside the half-opened window.

I closed my eyes, opened them again suddenly, walked forward abruptly, and pressed the delete key to delete its traces.

As if it never existed.

I let out a long breath.

The moon was gone, so I turned off the light and sat in front of the computer to code the manuscript that I couldn't finish yesterday.

He coded a few lines intermittently, but completely lost his train of thought. The note-like text stopped abruptly on the pure white document.

I bit my lip.

Shut down, wash your face, brush your teeth, go to bed, sleep.Like countless nights.

Starlight scattered on the sheets like snow.

I half-closed my eyes and felt sleepy. I seemed to see a young girl in a white dress, standing beside my bed, looking at the sky, her long black hair scattered in the air.

Suddenly, she turned her head to look at me, and smiled slightly, as if there was a sea of ​​stars in her eyes.She tapped her lips, her pale fingers curled into crescents.

Then she said in a very low voice,

"you are my sin."

"Hey, it's all over after school, you're still sleeping."

Who?

Who is speaking?

I frowned, and really wanted to open my eyes and see the people in a blank space, but my body seemed to be wrapped in a thick fog, the silent fog, misty, silently penetrated into the skin, like cocooning, gentle , Slowly, little by little all the strength from the body was removed.

I looked around through the fog, and the chaotic sounds filled my eardrums, but suddenly the world sank into darkness again, and all the noise disappeared in an instant.

I am terrified.

A chill rose from the soles of the feet, instantly eroding all the surrounding temperature.

Another nightmare.

"Xiaoyi." Some warm palms caressed half of my cheek.The darkness was ignited by the fire in an instant, and the mist gradually dissipated. I trembled, and slowly opened my eyes. What caught my eyes was a white wrist, and a string of red agate bracelets reflected strange light in the sunlight.

I half-closed my eyes.

"chain..." I twitched the corners of my mouth, grabbed her hand, and the corners of my lips fell gently on her palm, "Well... I had a dream..."

"I dreamed that a girl with long black hair appeared by my bed for some reason. She turned on my computer, opened an article I was writing recently, and at the end of my article, typed the sentence 'youaremysin.'"

"Then, she looked at me and smiled at me."

My voice was mixed in my throat, like raving.

"You've been too tired lately." She stroked my hair with her other hand.explain.

"Maybe...well, chain, you can sleep at my house tonight, I'm uncomfortable sleeping alone." I blinked my eyes, running my fingertips back and forth on her wrist, her pale blue blood vessels on the white skin It was clearly visible under the skin, and her wrist was so thin that it seemed as if it would break if it was bent lightly.

"Ah."

She responded gently, and I saw the starlight in the dark night hidden in her eyes.

chain is my only friend.I don't know when, she and I have become very close, we are always together - eating, going to the toilet or even standing as a punishment.We had been alone until we met each other, maybe she and I have some kind of the same quality, so we came together.What is that quality?I don't know either.

To be together is to be together, no need to ask why, and no need to know why.

The night I slept with her, I dreamed of that girl in white with black hair again. I struggled to wake up, my back was drenched in cold sweat, and Chain was also awakened by me. weave together.

But her eyes were so clear, as if she had never slept.

I pulled the corners of my mouth weakly and smiled—my smile must be ugly.I turned on the bedside lamp, got out of bed and quietly walked to the mirror, I looked at my pale face in the mirror, scratched my messy hair, and said to her in the mirror,

"I've been writing horror for a long time, but I never have nightmares."

"No matter how horrible the scenes in the novel are, they are fabricated by people, and I am the fabricator."

"So I've never been afraid. I like darkness and dreams, they can bring me endless inspiration."

"But that girl, she shouldn't belong to my darkness, let alone appear in my dreams."

I caressed my face, and I saw her get out of bed and walk behind me barefoot.

I also saw a short knife beside her pillow, which was extremely soft under the warm yellow light of the bedside lamp.

"You shouldn't think too much about it."

I hugged me, and I shivered—my body was always cold, so I was always uncomfortable with her sudden scorching heat.

"Hair grows."

I said suddenly.

"Help me cut it." I took a pair of scissors from the vanity mirror and handed them to her, "The light is not too dark, so you can see it."

"Ah."

She skillfully held the scissors and moved her eyes slowly in my eyes, hesitating extremely, I closed my eyes and said, "I don't want to dream of her again."

"Well. From tonight, she won't appear in your dreams. You will dream of your favorite white roses, big white roses."

She whispered softly in my ear.

"What a dream."

I closed my eyes and smiled, the sound of my hair being cut was close at hand, and the sound of the clock ticking became more and more clear. If I opened my eyes at this time, what I saw would be that I was pierced by scissors chest.

The expected pain did not come.

I opened my eyes and saw that she was still holding a pair of scissors in the mirror, carefully but slowly trimming my sideburn hair. I suddenly smiled and said, "Tell me a story."

"Ah."

She responded, but the movement of her hands didn't stop.Still serious and hesitant.

"You have a half-sister. After your mother died, they entered your house justifiably. You hate that hypocritical stepmother, and you hate that hypocritical sister even more."

"So you pushed your sister down the stairs on a night when white roses were blooming, and the sound of joints twisting and breaking was the most beautiful movement of that night."

"After your father slapped you hard, you drove to the hospital with your stepmother holding your sister—unfortunately, the car broke down halfway, and they crashed into a big truck, and the three of them died. die."

"You claimed their remains, saw them thrown in the basement, locked the door and never touched it again."

"Then you forget everything. You grow up alone, you tell yourself that your parents are out of town, they are very loving, your father didn't have an affair, your mother didn't commit suicide, and you don't have a sister."

She stopped what she was doing, gripped the scissors tightly, and looked at me expressionless in the mirror.

I smiled and said,

"Growing up I was a horror novelist and I was haunted by nightmares."

"I bear the crime of murder, and I carefully avoid a person, a person who knows everything, and a person who wants to kill me."

She trembled a little, but still kept a forced smile, "Who?"

"Who? Well... I only know that she is my sister's homosexual—no, to be precise, she is someone who loves my sister madly. Her name is Chain."

Her face froze instantly.

I turned around, looked at her sideways, and smiled, "Unfortunately, my sister doesn't love her, but my sister only loves me."

Her eyes popped open, and blood dripped from her purple lips onto my cheek.

"when will you……"

She fell on the floor, holding the scissors with trembling fingers, staring at me fiercely with her dark eyes through the messy hair, and the blackened blood overflowed the corners of her lips.

"We had a nice dinner together. Then I had detox tea, you didn't."

I tapped her palm and gently wiped off the fine hair on the scissors.

"Don't worry, I will let you see my sister, but before that, you will be very painful.

The moonlight scattered on her body, as if it had been coated with a layer of silver frost.

“Sweet dreams. May you dream of your lover. Then never wake up again.”

The spiers of the city pierced the chaotic sky, the crescent moon was divided by sharp branches, crows flapped their black wings, and white roses and thorns entwined tightly in the wall courtyard.

In the mist, the girl's voice was faintly heard. In the basement where the sun was not visible, a girl in a white dress was gently stroking the girl in her arms—the girl was covered with cold sweat, her cheeks were reddish, The slender body is sprinkled with a few petals of white roses.

The girl looked at the girl who was struggling in pain, smiled slightly, bent down, and kissed the girl's ear lightly,

she says,

"Xiaoyi, sister loves you."

I snapped my eyes open.The sound of the beating heart echoed in the ears.

——From tonight, you will no longer dream of a girl, but your favorite white rose.

I bit my lip.

"Students, a new classmate has been transferred to the class today..." A disliked voice came from the podium. I yawned, lowered my head, and turned on my phone. Security is a concern."

I turned off the phone.

"Well, that's it. Classmate Qu Ying, you sit in the empty seat in the back row first, and then the lecture will begin."

Ok?

I looked up and saw a slender girl walking towards me, she looked at me with a faint smile on her face.I froze for an instant, the blood in my whole body seemed to stop flowing the moment she looked at me, everything around me was colorless, only her faint smile remained.

"Hi, my name is Quying."

She sat next to me and smiled at me.

I froze for a moment, then smiled and said to her, "My name is Xin Yi."

"I know."

"Forehead?"

She didn't answer me again, she took out the textbook from her handbag, picked up a pen and listened carefully to the class. I secretly looked at her - I didn't know her, but she gave me a very familiar feeling.She looks pretty, with ponytails, boundless eyes, and a black dress, so that people will not be noticed there, why do I feel familiar?

Because, the smell on her body?

That familiar, disgusting smell of hospital disinfectant mixed with various medicines?

The rain fell drop by drop on every corner under the sky.

I put my hands in my pockets and stood under the eaves waiting for the rain to stop.

I remember that when I was young, I liked rainy days very much, because my mother would take me to pick tea leaves at night after the rain stopped.

Mom called the tea leaves after the rain "a memory for the soul."

"Do you want me to take you home?" A black car parked beside me, the window slowly rolled down, revealing a familiar face.

Qu Ying.

During the time she transferred to the class and sat next to me, I didn't initiate a conversation with her.And she treated me with the same respect as a guest.

And now, she appears here.

I bit my lip.

"Thank you." I opened the rear door and got in the car, "Do you know where my home is?"

"know."

I smiled, leaned on the seat, and stared blankly at her usual black clothes.

"I guess, your father, or your mother, is a doctor, and you smell like medicine." I lowered my voice and said to her, she turned her head and smiled at me decently, "I was born In a medical family, both my parents were psychiatrists. I will be a doctor when I grow up."

Her every move has an inherent rigor and elegance, which is completely different from Chain's full of loopholes. I chatted with her a few topics, and her voice was always deathly indifferent, as if nothing could attract her attention. Like her interest.

"Since you're a doctor, can you help me take a look?" I blinked slyly, "I've been having the same dream recently. I dreamed of a black basement where a girl was abusing a girl."

"What kind of abuse?"

I saw her curl her lips in the mirror,

"Sadism."

"Freud said that dreams are the repressed desires of reality."

"Heh, I don't believe his way."

I smiled contemptuously.

The sound of rain hitting the car windows is close to my ears, there are few vehicles on the wide road, and the rain curtains are shaking endlessly.

For the first time, I felt uncontrollable restlessness.

"As a prospective doctor, I have seen all kinds of patients since I was a child." Suddenly, she said.

"But one of them has never been forgotten by me. She was sent to a mental hospital by her father when she was very young-in fact, her illness was not that serious, it was just a family inheritance, but her father was very firm, as if to put her Throwing it in the hospital doesn't matter."

"Then her mum took her away - her mum was a sick person and I knew from the first moment I saw her that she wouldn't live long. She was mentally unstable and suicidal. "

"But her mother took her away. When I saw her again half a year later, the police brought her here. The police told me that she fell ill and killed her father, stepmother and half-sister. elder sister."

"At that time she had a complete mental breakdown, like a broken doll. But I knew it wasn't her fault, I hypnotized her, and I knew it was all because of her sister - her sister was a les , and had serious abusive tendencies, her sister raped her one night, she was so humiliated that she pushed her sister down the stairs, her sister died, but the sound alarmed her father and stepmother."

"Her stepmother saw her daughter dead and went crazy to kill her. She couldn't bear all this and went crazy. She killed her stepmother and then her father. She locked their bodies in the sister floor and abused her in the basement."

"I love her so much, so I weaved a dream for her, let her grow up as a normal person, but when she grows up, she meets a woman, that woman is beautiful and warm, she falls in love with that woman, but later She sadly discovers that the woman she loved was her own dead sister and that she approached her only for revenge."

"Her memory slowly came to life, and she began to have frequent nightmares."

"Later she couldn't take it anymore, she poisoned that woman and wanted to end it all. She wanted to forget everything and live again. But forgetting a lot of things doesn't mean they don't exist."

"Forgetting is the best way to heal wounds. If there are too many things in your mind, it will explode." I looked out the window at the sky where the rain was gradually getting smaller and gradually sinking, and I yawned, and said, "The front is my home , do you want to go in and have a cup of tea?"

"Ah."

"My mother called it 'the memory of the soul'." I poured hot water into the teacup and watched the tea leaves float and sink in it. .”

I took a sip of tea, and the clear fragrance of tea lingered on my lips, "I haven't drunk this tea since my mother passed away." I closed my eyes, as if I saw my young self walking towards that place led by my mother. The light green tea leaves stained with rainwater, I ran over excitedly, and my mother stood not far away, under the shadow of the moon, looking at me silently.

"The memory of the soul, drinking it can really awaken a lot of memories." She smiled at me, like an elegant devil, "I remembered all the madness and love I had for her, just like your sister did for you. "

"Do you love me?"

I ask her.

"You asked your sister the same way, how did she answer?"

"She told me that she loves me more than destroying me."

"Yeah. Me too." She drank the tea and smiled at me with relief, with black blood dripping from the corner of her lips, "Thank you, I just want to be killed by you."

"I have lived in a white world since I was a child. It is your appearance that adds a touch of color to my world."

"I still remember the first time I saw you, you had black hair and a black dress, and your black eyes were full of despair."

"From then on, I fell in love with black, and fell in love with the night with you."

She smiled at me.

I drank the tea in my cup and said, "Good dream."

"Hmm. Good dream."

"Hmm—" I opened my eyes suddenly, and after gathering my composure, I realized that I had fallen asleep in front of the computer.In front of me is still the document I am writing recently, and the dense text makes me feel a little headache.

"Xiaoyi, are you still writing?" The overlapping curtains swayed slightly, I turned my head, and saw a girl in a pure white dress sitting on a big bed in a dark room, and she folded her hands lazily. Her hair and her face are full of casual enchantment and sadism.

elder sister? ...

Desolate dream, woke up, vanished.

"Hehe, Xiaoyi is still staying like this." Her low laughter echoed in the air, she walked up behind me with nimble steps, hugged me, and breathed lightly into my ears.

I turned around and looked at the end of the document.

I froze for a moment.

When... did it end? ...

"Being killed by the one I love is indeed an extremely happy thing." She kissed the broken hair on my sideburns, and her pair of dead eyes reflected the faint white light of the computer screen.

I laughed.

"What's a good title for this article?"

She pursed her lips and smiled, her slender fingers jumping on the keyboard,

——youaremysin

The author has something to say: 11.22.16kaifeng

☆, firefly

"You are trash"

Before she said that to me, I thought I was pretty lucky.

But it turned out that I was thinking too much about everything.

My name is Quying, the Qu of Qugou, the firefly of Yinghuo.I was born in a well-known ancient capital. I am 17 years old and a senior in high school. I am not good at studying and have a bad temper.I have no friends before and after her, and I have been alone all the time. In short, I am a lonely and gloomy weird guy. I am full of disgust for many things for no reason. I hate sunshine and laughter, sweetness and warmth.Although I have also tried to touch.

I always keep my mouth shut, I like to hide in a corner alone, in the dark.Listening to the clear violin music, write a fabricated story on a piece of paper here and there.I am obsessed with the night, and I often suffer from insomnia. Whenever it is late at night, I can always hear the echo of the deep sea rolling under the night. The voiceless mermaid rushes out of the sea. hoarse on the dark golden sand.

In the past years, I don't have much memory, my memory is very poor, until now, my sad or happy memories are only gloomy sporadic, she accounts for most of my memory, she is a touch of light White, soft as gauze, gently falling and covering me.I don't remember how we met or why we had a conversation, I just remember that I have been with her for nearly three years, we have been to many places to have fun, we also share each other's emotions, and talk about our thoughts about the future—— Although I don't really want any future.

I just think that the moment when I'm with her is the best.

I've always felt like I was so lucky.I can meet her and be with her.I can often see her white top, her low ponytail, her fair skin, and her soft and pale lips.She stands on the edge of my world, more beautiful than me, gentler than me, stronger than me.

She is a gentle white star in such a quiet life of mine.She is someone I like, someone I admire, someone I am deeply infatuated with.And the only one who can break my heart.

A week after I left her, she didn't appear in my dreams.I can no longer recall what she looks like, the only thing that is clear is the scene of her black hair brushing her smooth back.I continued wasting my time, lying on the table with my eyes closed, I was silent in the hustle and bustle, so there was only darkness left in the world, the sound of the pen scratching the paper in my ear gradually became distant, and the autumn wind swept across the sky. The ginkgo leaves on the ground, the gray bird suddenly rushed into the sky, and disappeared without a trace.

I started craving sleep.I go to bed very late every day, and the content of the dream is weird and chaotic.I always wake up suddenly, the misty dream in the dream dissipates in a sudden moment, and there is no trace of the missing.And every time I open my eyes, I slowly remove the quilt covering my head and see the white dawn in the air.I immediately hid under the blanket and covered it tightly to block out all the light.

It still seemed like a long night.

It seems that there is no sunlight, and there will be no dawn.

I often do not sleep well, and I always have some bizarre dreams, which will disappear soon after waking up. I also tried hard to remember some dreams and wanted to write them down, but I would suddenly forget them when I suddenly woke up.

But one afternoon I had a dream I don't want to remember,

I dreamed that I was crawling on the table, surrounded by darkness, green fireflies gradually rising from my feet, illuminating the pale green stiff faces of my classmates in the darkness, I closed my eyes, but the scenes were exactly the same appeared in my mind.

I know it's a dream, but I can't wake up.

Suddenly, the fireflies scattered away, taking away all the darkness.The glare of the sun came in from the window, and the eyelids suddenly hurt, so painful that they couldn't open them, but in an instant, the people around them were not as numb as zombies. Their faces were rosy and youthful, and they were smiling and talking.

I feel very restless,

—I really don’t know how people like you are still alive,

——Ignore her, she has a mental problem,

- It's disgusting.

The dark night weaves a dense web, strangling me almost to suffocation,

Surrounded by light, overhead is a huge suffocating darkness.

When will darkness swallow everything?

I always think so, but fantasy is vulnerable to reality, the sun has always existed in reality, the earth will not shine, it has always revolved around the sun, the sun will shine on the earth, but it will not shine on me .

I often feel terrified and unable to do anything, so every minute and every second of my life has become a torment. I obviously don’t want to do this, but I still look like a mentally handicapped person, appearing so funny in everyone’s sight,

want to get out of here,

I sneaked out from the back door of the school and wandered aimlessly on the sparsely populated street for a long time. When I went back, it suddenly started to rain. I found a place to hide, took off my rain-drenched eyes, and looked at the With a gray sky,

It's been raining,

Tick-tock disturbs people's nerves.

when did this start

I still remember that when I was young, I said in a childish voice that my favorite weather was rainy days, because the raindrops fell on my face and were cool, and when they fell into puddles, there would be beautiful ripples in circles.

How long has it been since I went out on a rainy day?

How long has it been since you saw the ripples in the puddle?

When I was a child, I would sleep deeply when it rained, and I would have a good dream and then wake up satisfied.

Sleeping a bit too much now.

As if no matter how much I slept, I couldn't wake up.

The rain crackled and never stopped.

Dark clouds blocked the sky, dark and gloomy, as if to dispel bad luck.

I rubbed my sore eyes and looked down.

You can't see the ripples in the puddles, but you can see rotting leaves and dirty mud.

So disgusting.

But ah, this rain, don't stop, keep on falling;

Down to drown the world, drown all.

Let me drown in the deep sea.

After that, I didn’t go to school for several days, just fell asleep groggyly at home, woke up to drink some water, always missed the meal time, was too lazy to heat up the food and didn’t want to go out to eat, so I was groggy again I fell asleep, and was woken up several times in a daze, but then I fell asleep again. Maybe it was because I lay down for a long time. My body hurts everywhere. I haven’t eaten for several days. My stomach seems to be hungry and numb. Feel,

In the end what you want?

A voice almost of rage,

Do you still want to go to school?

miss you.

Can you understand the heart of being a mother?

fool.

Can you be normal?

I want, too.

what did your teacher sayOr is someone bullying you?

No.

Oh, you must not be broken in love.

Ok.

There is a newly opened pharmacy on the trail to the left of the school.The first time I knew it was when I turned around and passed by there after skipping class.At that time I was very strange about its existence.Because the combination of the uninhabited and pitted dirt road and a well-decorated pharmacy is really weird. Then I thought about it. There is a self-built residential area not far away, just separated by a few half-demolished buildings and a small grove. and lots of rubbish on the road.

I passed by here several times.Occasionally look up.The first time I opened the door to enter the pharmacy was again on a rainy day, and I sneaked out through the back door of the school that afternoon.It rained on the way back, the back door was locked, and I forgot my school card.Can't get into school, and have nowhere to hide from the rain.I hugged myself, the cold wind and rain penetrated into my skin, and the sound of raindrops shattered in my ears.

I'm sensitive to sound and I hate my sensitivity.Suddenly, I ran to the door of the pharmacy as if I had gone crazy, rubbed my shoes on the ground, and pushed open the glass door.

The antique decoration builds a world.I was stunned, and the sound of rain was far away in an instant.As if stepping into a different time and space, the wooden structure intersects in front of my eyes, and there are all kinds of medicine boxes behind the transparent and almost invisible glass cabinet. There is no one here. what.

"Excuse me, what do you want to buy?"

Suddenly, a clear female voice came from the top of my head. I looked up and saw a girl standing at the entrance above the revolving wooden stairs. She was wearing a knee-length white gown, her hair was pulled up high, and only two strands were hanging in front. .She looked at me and walked down the stairs slowly, the sound of her high heels stepping on the steps was calm and peaceful.

"Hmm... is there any medicine for insomnia?" I swallowed and said to her hesitantly.

She is tall.I didn't realize this until she walked in front of me, and she was too tall. My eyes were locked on her legs - her white and thin calves were even more slender under the stiletto heels. attractive.

"There is melatonin." She walked past me, her slender fingers slid across the almost invisible glass, and then stopped abruptly.She took out the medicine and handed it to me.

She is good looking.I stared at her for a long time, she has a full forehead and a high nose bridge.Her lips were light and raised slightly upwards. She was dressed in white, with a calm and distant appearance, like a classical beauty in ink painting.The only discrepancy is the eyes - those beautiful but deep eyes that cannot see to the end.

"How much?" I stopped a lot, licked my dry lips and asked.

"54 dollars."

As I followed her to the main unit, I frantically rummaged through my pockets, took out a hundred and handed it to her.

"I'll find you 46 yuan."

I took the change and looked into her downcast, emotionless eyes, her dry lips.

"Thank you."

She hummed and didn't look at me.

There is no reason to stay here, not to mention staying with such a beautiful person. I am holding the medicine, but my hands are weak. The raindrops outside the door are not decreasing. I don’t know where to go. So that they won't see me in a mess after getting wet in the rain.

Those people.Those who laugh no matter what.

"It's raining so much outside, if you don't have an umbrella, just wait here and wait for the rain to stop."

A cold voice came from behind.

like light.

"……Oh, thank you……"

She wasn't talking, just holding a book and reading,

The Flowers of Evil by Baudelaire.

I still remember the depression I hid, I also remember the young and contrived female doctor with oily skin in the hospital, I wanted to pour out all my sorrows to her but I swallowed it anyway, I still remember being thrown by me The antidepressant drugs that have serious side effects are taken. I don’t go to school often. When I go, I also face the ridicule of the head teacher and the jokes of the classmates. I once joked to my deskmate that I have depression, but he just said nonchalantly, Are you depressed?Hahahahahaha...

I want someone to wait for the dawn with me in the dark. I don’t want to listen to the bright and beautiful words of the world. At one focal point, the head portrait of me is full of various gazes, gleeful, mocking, indifferent, helpless, and complaining... All gazes meet on my weak skin, and there is a deep and deep under the skin. Bottomless darkness and rotting wounds and low self-esteem.

But I can only be indifferent or meaningless in front of people.

When alone, hide in a corner and kill all light.

Although sometimes I feel happy because the light shines on me through the window.

As for the woman who read Baudelaire, I have not seen her since, nor have I asked the pharmacy staff about her.

But actually I want to tell her, I want to tell her how much I liked a girl and she said I was trash, I want to tell her how much I miss how much I want to be with other people, standing in the sun, cheerful and gregarious; Wanted to tell her that I didn't want to be a blue and grumpy person, that I wanted to keep my emotions in check and not let any little sadness get the better of me.I want to have a sense of belonging and accomplishment, no longer wandering and no longer humble.I want to show a friendly smile to others, let them know that I am easy to get along with, I want to be their friend, I want to know their joys and sorrows.But there is always a huge gap between me and them. I don't even know how to express my friendliness. I can only hide in the corner silently and darkly, insignificant in their disdainful eyes.I want to go to a bustling metropolis far away from home, where no one knows me, and I want to tell her all my disgust and longing, but I can only look at her secretly, without saying a word .

The air is so oppressive that the oppressed eyes are a little sore.

The lover in the fantasy is also like her, beautiful and gentle, like an angel.The corner of her mouth has always been a touch of softness, as if it can smooth away all your pain.There is a pair of beautiful hands that will touch my hair, and say in a voice that is extremely gentle but tasteless like boiled water:

"I'm here, always have been."

I went to the hospital to prescribe some sleeping pills, and it was still the same doctor, still not distracted, her eyes were big and very beautiful, but big eyes easily revealed her emotions, her contempt and arrogance were fully revealed.

Are all beauties like this?

I took medicine but couldn't sleep.I looked at the little blue and white capsule and felt that everything was meaningless.I swallowed all the medicine, turned off the light, wrapped the quilt tightly, and a huge darkness came over me,

Later, I struggled to get up from the hospital bed, staggered to the window, my forehead was pressed against the glass, and the cold floor tiles hurt my feet.

I stared straight at a branch of peach blossoms in full bloom outside the window.

Suddenly wept.

Once, I thought I would die peacefully and young,

Just take sleeping pills, lie quietly on the bed, wear a large pajamas, then close your eyes in the middle of the night when everything is silent, and then fall into a long and deep dream.

I don't look forward to waking up before going to sleep, but when there is nothing to dream, I still struggle violently in the dark to wake up.

I will see the pure white and clean window screen spinning dreamily above my head, and I will smell the fragrance of flowers,

The scene in the dream will appear intermittently in the empty mind, but it will disappear without a trace in a few seconds.

I would get up weak and reluctant to wash up, step on my bicycle, and drive to school,

I will be named for being late, and I will be named and criticized by the head teacher at the weekend summary, and I will laugh at myself amidst the laughter around me.

I'll be home alone and doing nothing that day when I'm sick of school and in a bad mood