[Comprehensive Manga] Live with a smile

January [-], Sunday, still no rain.

The sea breeze on the Yokohama pier carried a salty smell, and the smell of fish and oil in the air made Xi Ji sniffle, quite uncomfortable.

"Miss Xi Ji."

"Huh? What's the matter?" Xi Ji sat on a container, looked at the warehouse full of people at the other end of the pier, and yawned in response.

This man is really a devil.And after Xi Ji had already shown enough illusion talent, in his eyes, he was still a failure in his career as an illusionist.When he has nothing to do, he likes to bully Xi Ji's illusion level, and he especially likes to talk about the favors Xi Ji owes to others, which makes Xi Ji's hands itchy every time.

Dun also looked at the warehouse, as if he had seen something sad, and sighed, "Miss Xi Ji, you seem to be smiling all the time. It's great to maintain such a positive and optimistic attitude."

In the middle of her yawn, Xi Ji looked at Dun with an inexplicable expression.

"Dun Dun, please be clear. The people in that warehouse were all killed because they stole goods from Hong Kong gangsters and sold them. We cannot condemn their actions morally or legally. The only thing we can say The point is that they killed all of them. But are those who do this kind of illegal business clean? Is it normal for two teams of unclean people to collide with each other and one side dies?" He wouldn't feel pity, would he?To gangsters?All right, kid?

Xi Ji thinks that he is a bit of a Madonna-like person, that people far away in the sky cannot be saved, and if someone dies nearby, he will definitely repeat the day to try to save the other party.But that was also based on the fact that the other party was an ordinary person, a person with dirty hands who might still be alive, why did she want to save him?

"But Hong Kong gangsters are so powerful, if everyone in the detective agency is attacked..."

Well, it seems that this silly boy is digging into a dead end.

After Yuki made the phone call yesterday, he saw that Dazai had successfully stopped Akutagawa and Atsushi who were torn into a ball.To Xi Ji's surprise, Dun performed quite well. He didn't take advantage of the favorable conditions created by Xi Ji at all, and he was so reckless that he became a tiger and Akutagawa tore him apart.

It was Xiji who was carrying Atsushi when she left, because she thought it was a bit unreasonable for her to keep Atsushi, and Dazai had been looking at Xiji with very subtle cold eyes on the way back, which made Xiji's hair stand on end.Originally, I wanted to argue that Dun had combat experience, and Xie Ye in the agency was not afraid of getting hurt, but Xi Ji didn't say a word, and sent Dun to the detective agency very peacefully.

Wu Zhen was ready to be attacked by Hong Kong gangsters when he was in London.But Aunt doesn't know much about the detective agency, so he probably thought he was causing trouble for the agency and wanted to escape on his own.

Xi Ji, who faintly felt that he had sensed the truth, sighed deeply. She didn't come to raise a child, she was obviously a child too.

"I can answer your previous question." Xi Ji brushed her hair that was blown away by the wind. She combed her short hair quickly and messed it up quickly. She looked at the noisy warehouse and the pier by the sea, and said slowly: "I used to be a very dark and pessimistic person."

"Eh?"

"You came from an orphanage, right? Then you may understand my feelings, because my mother died in front of me, and my father cut off contact early. I grew up alone since I was a child. Then because of the growing environment, I am full of despair for the whole world, denying my life and everything in the world, and feel that life is a steady stream of pain, and even death is not a relief for me, but the beginning of a nightmare.”

Dun Zhang opened his mouth to say something comforting, but he couldn't, so he could only stand under the container and listen to Xi Ji silently.

"Does Dazai and I seem to have a good relationship? That's pretending. He's a suicidal man, and so am I. I hate his behavior, and he probably fears me too. I did live a few years ago. I live with the purpose of dying every day, looking for all the ways to kill me all day long."

"One day, as usual, I was looking for a way to die and jumped off a bridge."

"I still remember that the river was more than ten meters wide, very deep, and there were a lot of aquatic plants underneath. As long as I don't struggle and stay in the water for a while, I will definitely die."

"But something happened at that time, and a fool jumped into the water to save me."

Xi Ji feels the sea breeze, she is still not used to the wind in Yokohama, and the weather in early summer feels a bit cold.

She still remembers that day clearly now, it was almost a turning point in her life, completely changing her way of thinking about everything in the world.

"I remember that it was evening, and there was no one by the river. After the boy a few years older than me realized that he couldn't call anyone, he was not afraid to be tied to death in the water with me by aquatic plants, so he just jumped into the water like that. Come save me."

"Of course I was saved, but I still blamed him and asked him why he saved me. He said..."

Closing her eyes, she seemed to quickly recall the appearance and voice of that brown-haired boy.

"Human life is precious and only once. No matter what kind of hardships and pains you face, if you are not afraid of death, what else can you not overcome? If you encounter a hurdle that you cannot overcome, tell someone you know , There will always be a way through brainstorming. Such an important life is not to be squandered and wasted."

"He also said that if you can't find anyone to talk to, then tell him. He may not be able to help me, but he will listen to me and comfort me. At least he can't give up hope."

Xi Ji stopped here, lowered his head and asked the thoughtful Dun: "So do you understand? People live in this world, not to see who is strong or not, but to see whether the brilliance of life is shining. There are so many difficulties in front of you. Why do you have to solve it pessimistically? Don’t use your natural thoughts to think, how do you know that everyone can’t help you before you tell the plight you encounter?”

Even though it was a bowl of chicken soup that came out of the blue, Dun still chose to go on doing it.

Indeed, as Ms. Xi Ji said, he is just wishful thinking and thinks that the detective society will be attacked and injured by Hong Kong gangsters.Mr. Dazai is so strong, and there is such a powerful Ms. Yuki next to him. At that time, I faced Akutagawa bravely. Maybe there is no need to be afraid. We will definitely find a way together.

"Thank you, Miss Xi Ji."

"Thank you, I let you listen to something useless." Xi Ji yawned, with a lollipop in his mouth, which seemed a bit comfortable.

This time Dun ran a few steps, and when he reached the visible range of the container Shang Xiji, he bowed solemnly.

"Thank you very much, Miss Xi Ji."

Thinking of his behavior of throwing Dun out yesterday, Xi Ji suddenly felt a strong sense of guilt.

What to do, now touch the big cat and tell him, is it too late for her to pour chicken soup for him just because of her temper?She's not going to be a bosom sister!This kid looks older than her!

"By the way, Miss Xi Ji, what happened to you and that boy afterwards?" Dun asked about the follow-up of the story.

Rubbing her hair, Xi Ji sighed, and said, "It's nothing. I was busy reorganizing my worldview at that time, and I was lucky enough to meet him a few times, but I didn't even know his name. Then he seemed to be out of town, and I I also moved out of there a month later and moved to a new place with better security.”

Compared with the chaotic place of Yokohama, Bingsheng is simply a paradise on earth, and the absolute god is Lark.

"It seems that you are in a better mood."

"Well, thank you Miss Xi Ji."

"Why do you say thank you so many times?" She was almost overwhelmed by guilt, "If you want to thank me, I will go back and send a message to Kunikida. I will ask for leave this afternoon."

"Eh? What's the matter?"

On this topic, Xi Ji sighed again.She feels that she has sighed more often recently, is it because at the same time as the tyrannical heart emerges, the sentimental adolescent girl's heart also begins to crawl out unwillingly?

—“To visit a man who I thought was dead long ago.”

Standing in the ward, Xi Ji still felt unreal.

In the most advanced ward of a general hospital with the best treatment equipment and the most advanced equipment in Tokyo, lay a man she thought she would never see again in this life.

Obviously, the man in my impression will be even more dazzling and dazzling. Standing on the podium just now, he should be wearing countless honors as a leader, and he should be in high spirits.

Before receiving that call, she always thought that this man would still be sitting on the top floor of a building owned by him in Tokyo, sitting on a leather sofa, wearing a custom-made suit, drinking high-end red wine, looking at the world outside the glass window. It is right to enjoy the scenery and enjoy the thrill of being king of the whole city without the bondage brought by his wife and daughter.

Instead, instead of now...

Wearing a ventilator, with an infusion tube inserted, his complexion is yellow, skinny, his hair is about to fall out, and he looks like he will soon be ill for a long time.

Why is this happening?

Maybe it was too shocking, Xi Ji looked at the man and said a word.

Until the man's eyelashes trembled slightly, he opened his cloudy eyes and saw Xi Ji.He seemed to be stunned, and even the lines on the heart rate monitor next to him fluctuated significantly.

Trembling, Zhao Xiji stretched out his hand, and a mist appeared in his eyes.

Was she going to hold his hand?Should she hold it?Can she forgive him for everything he did before?

Xi Ji's mind went blank, and when she raised her hand to shake it back, she realized that she was also trembling, fearing what was happening now.

But when she held hands, she felt her eyes heat up again.Obviously she couldn't cry no matter how painful she was after death, but now just holding this man's hand, she almost couldn't control herself.

This man is about to die, the man who gave her half of her life and a happy childhood is about to die...

"Why, why didn't you call me back earlier? If the second uncle doesn't look for me, are you going to wait for the lawyer to come to see me with your will until you die?" Of course Xi Ji knows what this man's style is. Has always been absolutely confident solipsism, strong and confident, and stubborn.

Speaking of this, Xi Ji's tears finally fell, "You said you severed the relationship with your mother, and you really severed the relationship. For so many years, you never thought about inquiring about my mother and me. You don't even think that your mother died the day she left. I don't know, how dead-brained are you?"

Just because this man is so stupid, even Xi Ji has inherited his stubborn character, and if he is not careful, it will easily cause irreparable consequences.

Just like the man lying on the hospital bed now.He obviously didn't want to get a divorce, but after uttering harsh words, he couldn't hold back his face, so he had to work hard and wanted to use his grades to tell his divorced ex-wife that he would be better off without her.As a result, as a result of working so hard, I fell ill unknowingly. Even so, I still dragged my work and wanted to expand the industry even more.

So in the end, he was lying on the hospital bed exhausted, and he knew that his wife had passed away on the day of divorce, and his daughter was left outside by his wife's family to live a barren and dangerous life.

How complicated a person's life is, if he hadn't had evil thoughts back then, he wouldn't have quarreled and divorced, and developed into the final situation.

So many mistakes may seem unforgivable in the past, but time and longing, after all, healed these wounds, leaving an ugly and dazzling scar, always reminding the consequences of these mistakes.

Xi Ji asked herself, could she really forgive him?In fact, she already knew the answer, but she was simply unwilling to face it.

Until this man appeared in front of her in this posture.

"I, I... I forgive you, so can you not die..."

"dad……"

"Second uncle, how many days does he have left?"

"The doctor said that he was about to lose consciousness. He could have delayed it for a while, but he said that as long as he saw you, he would be satisfied and he was going to perform euthanasia." The red-haired man outside the ward replied.

"Is it……"

Xi Ji made sure that the door of the ward was closed, and looked in a daze.

"What are your plans next, Xi Ji? You have dropped out of school now, right?"

That's right, she has no place to live now, so if she wants to continue studying with peace of mind, Yokohama must be the place to be.

"Anyway, I'll change my surname back to Akashi first."

"Well then, welcome home and I'll do my best to help you."

The author has something to say: In thinking, did I change [-] to [-] this week?This doesn't seem to be in line with my updated personality of Buddhism, does it?

Halfway through the syllabus, Xi Ji has passed Dad's heart, and the rest is the daily life of the campus hehehe

She said that she thought her father had died early because she was angry, and everyone understood it√

Who is the boy Xi Ji is talking about... emmm, everyone, look at the supporting role column of the copywriting (strength spoiler)

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Last mention of euthanasia:

Facing terminal cancer or incurable patients, many family members of patients in China hope that doctors can extend the patient's life for a period of time.

My personal opinion is that when the patient has been able to frankly accept his own death, why should he face the cold hospital equipment and struggle to death in pain?If you can choose at this time, it is better to go back to your family and accompany the patient through the last journey together happily than to lie in the hospital bed when you are dying, but you are so painful that you can’t even say a word.

In many cases, the family members demonized the doctor. Everyone wanted to live, but they only lived for the sake of living. That might be more painful than Xi Ji before.

So the setting here is that Dad chose euthanasia. He waited for Xi Ji to come back with a sigh of relief, and he was satisfied when he saw it.