The big orange is the most important [comprehensive British and American]

Nine of the ten orange cats are fat, and one is crushing the kang. This story is well-deserved.

"Look at what you've been eating." Fiona muttered and grabbed a handful of cat food for her orange cat, and after thinking about it, she poured it back a little. After all, the cat was too fat to curl up. It's a shame for a cat to get up and lick itself.As a result, her orange cat saw it, oh well, and refused on the spot, meowing and stretching its paws to support itself, and even tried to pass her to pour cat food into its own food bowl. When the food dies, the orange cat can gnaw out a majestic mountain and river while holding the rice bowl, the sky and the earth are pale, and the sun and the moon are dark.

——It seems that this scope of coverage, which is a great shame to cats, does not include the magical species of orange cat, so under normal circumstances, we call it Schrödinger's orange pig.

"I have no choice, either eat less today or go out for a walk with me tonight." Fiona stroked her big orange's chin, pushed the rice bowl away a little, and by the way came up with a very serious and important question. Big conclusion for life and death:

"Orange, you're getting fat again, go to the scale with me, I can't just watch you die of fat."

Although the orange cat can't understand human language, every time it hears the word "scaled", it will be hugged by some kind of equipment, and then its owner will go crazy after screaming deafeningly at the string of shining numbers. It will reduce its rations and further increase its exercise. Pavlovian conditioning is also applicable to cats, and it is obvious that it does not want its cat food to be further reduced, so it pushes the cat food into itself In his mouth, while dodging Fiona's hand stroking its fur, it can be seen that he doesn't want to be weighed.

Fiona: Naive, you will get fatter after eating.

Sure enough, after the orange cat ate the whole pot of cat food contentedly, Fiona put it on the pet electronic scale, and saw that the number that was hovering at the threshold of fifteen pounds a few weeks ago was finally overwhelmed, shaking Youyou was given a finishing touch:

Congratulations to Fiona Belekova for her fifteen-pound orange cat!

The weight of fifteen pounds should be relatively normal in the orange cat group. After all, orange cats are round creatures that look like big chicken legs. Is that called fat?No, that's rich and beautiful.But let's take a look at this orange cat's previous weight:

Seven point five pounds.

From [-] pounds as thin as a dog to [-] pounds as fat and round, it has doubled.This is not only gaining weight, it is simply being blown up.

"Is the food in Gotham so delicious?" Fiona was puzzled: "We have been here for less than a year, and you have doubled in weight... No, to be honest, my orange, you You have to go out for a walk with me, I won't let you gossip about my flowers any more, and I need to rely on this to buy you cat food."

As soon as the orange cat heard the word "walking", it seemed to be facing an enemy and went under the counter desperately, but it obviously forgot this painful reality: it is no longer the weak, pitiful and helpless person it was when it was first picked up by Fiona. The little orange cat I helped, careful feeding and its laziness, has turned it into an orange-yellow, very sizable...

Big hairball.

But as the saying goes, life lies in exercise. As a person who raises orange cats, Fiona knows this very well, so no matter how this fat orange plays tricks or acts like a spoiled child, she will firmly remain unmoved, first secretly in her heart One-third of its rations were reduced, and then it was wrapped around its neck with a leash, vowing to reduce Fat Orange's weight to within the safety line.

Fiona was wrestling with the big orange furball, trying to get it out of the counter, when she heard someone outside asking:

"Anyone? I'm buying a bunch of flowers."

"Hi sir, there are people, there are people, please wait a moment!" Fiona's shop was always empty, and it was really an unfortunate coincidence that someone came just in time for her to catch the cat in disgrace.She tried her best to put the orange cat on the leash and greeted without raising her head: "Excuse me, what kind of flowers do you want to buy? If there is no special request, the common types and prices of bouquets are all displayed on the counter. You can take the flowers and keep the money yourself." That’s it. You can tip as you see fit—that’s the way to say it, but don’t be polite, the more the better!”

The visitor was obviously shocked by her unrestrained and enthusiastic hospitality: "... Is it really okay for you to greet guests so casually in Gotham?"

The man's voice was quite pleasant.Although his voice has completely lost the enthusiasm and vitality of young people, it does not have a calm and magnetic feeling, just like old wine, even just smelling the wine is enough. It makes people flustered.

Fiona finally caught the fifteen-pound orange cat, carried it to the counter, and enthusiastically recommended it to the visitors: "Sorry, I just came to Gotham not long ago, and I'm not familiar with this place. If you want to buy flowers If I give it to my girlfriend, I recommend red roses, there must be a reason why the classics last forever."

Bruce Wayne really didn't take the little girl in front of him seriously at first.After all, when she was burying her head down to catch cats, she could only hear voices but not see people. At that time, he was still wondering why the voice of the owner of this shop was so young, and everyone was an adult, so why was he so hotheaded? How hard it is to short-circuit the brain and go to Gotham to come to the flower shop.In the Gotham flower shop, there will never be a handsome and rich Iron Man falling from the sky-will pay you for repairs, or usher in Thor who visits the world from Asgard-at least have a face and muscles It can be seen that it is such a good thing as an alien prince. It is more likely that the prisoners in the Arkham Asylum descended from the sky with guns, and the weakest one at random can kill ordinary people.

Then, the moment Fiona got out holding the orange cat, Bruce's brain exploded, as if pouring a bowl of water into a boiling oil pan, thousands of words crowded and roared trying to spew out .God testifies Gotham testifies, he has never had such a strong desire to complain, and for a while he didn't know how to start with "You are actually a minor, miss, you are so single in Gotham and have no sense of self-protection, really don't worry about it Did you lose your life in a daze?", or "My God, this orange cat is too fat. I've never seen such a fat cat in Gotham. It can be as tall as two Alfreds." "start.

"Sir?" Fiona clearly noticed Bruce's absent-mindedness. She followed Bruce's gaze and cried out inwardly——

Bruce's gaze falls on a goat skull during his mind-wandering moments.

The origin of this thing is really a long story, but in short, most people will say one, two, three, for example, goat skulls are mostly used in black magic rituals, such as the Eight Fallen Angels The representative of the first Azazel is the goat, and the black goat is the incarnation of Satan in the mortal world. In short, whether you believe it or not, the reputation of the goat skull is really not very good, let alone a place that should appear in a beautiful, full of people. Something from a flower shop that smells fragrant and girlish.

Fiona let go of her hands in desperation, and the orange cat immediately saw the hope of not needing to walk, and rushed out meowing and meowing in full spirit. Judging from its size, this movement was really vigorous.The orange ball of hair drew a graceful arc in the air, with a thunderous aura, knocking down countless bouquets of flowers along the way, and happened to knock the goat skull into the cabinet, and then the orange cat also got under the cabinet, As if it had taken root on the ground, the posture of not being able to come out was very obvious.

Fiona secretly breathed a sigh of relief. After all, she was afraid of trouble, and didn't want to tell people she met by chance such nonsense as "Listen to me, my friend, my super harmless skull is just for display", and it is estimated that few people would believe it.In this way, she didn't need to explain anything, she was at ease, and she sold the first bouquet of flowers for today's good start, so she was even more enthusiastic when she introduced the bouquet to the visitor:

"If you want to give a friend, yellow roses are the first choice. If you are going to visit a patient, calla lilies and lilies are fine. I personally recommend calla lilies. After all, today's calla lilies are very fresh—look, sir, there are still drops of water on them." , just arrived from the suburbs not long ago!"

But Bruce really didn't take the goat skull seriously. After all, his second adopted son, Jason Todd, could decorate the room with his hood that looked like a red barrel. He didn't want to let go of the goat skull. In his eyes, Batman is someone who has seen big winds and waves: "Take a bunch of lilies."

"Yes sir, please pay in cash." Fiona immediately tied up a bouquet full of lilies skillfully and sent it to him, and also presented a small card. It was only when she brought the bouquet in front of Bruce that she realized that People frowned as if they had encountered some century-old problem:

"Can't I swipe my card?"

Fiona and Bruce stared at each other in the 25-square-meter flower shop, and the scene was once very embarrassing.Bruce was thinking about why there are still shops in Gotham that don’t accept credit cards these days. If you save so much cash, you won’t be afraid of being robbed one day. Oh no, she’s still a little girl, and she doesn’t know how to protect herself at all. The family didn't say anything to her; Fiona was thinking, my God, this guy is so good-looking, as good as the men's version of Thalia.

He is no longer young, but those steel-blue eyes are not blurred with age, but brighter and sharper. It turns out that there is really someone who can put such a cruel and irresistible external force like the passage of time in his eyes. The unique charm after being transformed into the traces of the years.Before meeting this person, Fiona had always scoffed at the so-called "older men are more attractive than younger ones". After all, the League of Assassins is located in the Middle East, where most people, especially men, will only grow older and become more crippled. ——Here is really not meant to satirize Lei Xiao Ao Gu, the leader of the League of Assassins who seems to never die, really—but today, Fiona can be regarded as seeing what is called "the beauty accumulated over time" "Are.

Looking at those steel-blue eyes, Fiona vaguely felt that she had seen this person somewhere before, but she couldn't remember it for a while, so she could only attribute this inexplicable familiarity to her spiritual vision again.After all, I have been raised in a place like the League of Assassins for more than ten years, so a girl can't just get excited. It can be said that when facing the handsome and handsome Brucey baby, the performance that a normal girl should have is completely absent. She showed a bit of it, so it's no surprise that she did something most teenage girls wouldn't:

"Can't swipe cards, sorry, I haven't had time to install the POS machine, can I really not pay cash, sir?"

Bruce Thomas Wayne, Gotham's Bruce babe, darling of the newspaper entertainment pages, supermodel killer, and for the first time in nearly 40 years, knows what it's like to lose a once-ever-beyond charm.

The author has something to say: the heroine had no emotional line other than puppy love before she became an adult~ Why did I set the age to 15, because in the original outline, I wanted Fiona to feel like she had been out of school for 15 years, Going back to school is the high school entrance examination to determine life and death, ah no, it is the joy of the ordinary wizard level examination.

——Mom, it’s too miserable, let’s forget it after thinking about it, you have to be kind...

Hetty Brown, a well-known doujinshi in her previous life, encountered a driver who ran a red light on the way to sell books at an exhibition. With a collision, she crashed into the world of superheroes, and was bound to a system. Every day must be forced to issue tasks:

"Dig a hole and continue your life to find out, hang on, host, we can win."

Hetty: ...I can't hold on, I can't hold on, the vest is about to fall off!

The system encouraged her very kindly: "Don't be depressed, the dawn of victory is just ahead! If you fill in the pits well, you will receive the boyfriend you were assigned to. Are you moved?"

Hetty looked at Jason, who was squatting silently, and felt that this person had really achieved the pinnacle of being a fan, such as killing her door and urging her to update: ...Don't dare to move, dare not move.

——At the beginning, I understood "digging holes" literally, but when I was digging holes and planting trees in New York, SHIELD came, and I was very scared, difficult to deal with, weak and helpless.But then I found out that AO3 is really a good place, I really like it here, everyone is talented, and they speak nicely, I really want to dig holes for the rest of my life!

The superheroes and villains squatting at the bottom of the pit together: ? ? ? ?Can you say that again? ? ? ?

——Ace Pigeon is dragging the manuscript again, close the door and put on the red hood!

If there are little angels who are interested in modern romance, you can join me to pay attention to the difficult and difficult living conditions of contemporary women, and guide the column "Hanging with monster bosses to abuse scum"_(:з」∠)_

For victims, justice late is as good as absent.

Ye Nan, who regards the above words as her motto, has not written any peaceful reports since the day she entered the news circle.Her pen has always pointed to the dark depths that ordinary people dare not touch, peeling off the bright skin of a scumbag, revealing the rotten inside, and then hanging it up for public display, and then——

Repaying debts, killing people and paying their lives, karma is justified.

The voyeur who followed the waiter of the milk tea shop in the name of love at first sight, and fell into a paraplegic in broad daylight under the eyes of everyone;

After the man who could not be entangled in courtship slashed his ex-girlfriend dozens of knives, his body was decapitated that night, and the wound showed signs of beast bites;

A company executive who harassed his female subordinates by relying on his high position and power was found dead at the bottom of the river one morning with incomplete bones;

A university professor who repeatedly attacked his own students but had too many backgrounds to do anything, was tortured to death in a single apartment.

Ye Nan: ...How many times have I said that if you don't die, you won't die.