a row of egrets

Lu Zhan was at a loss for a moment, blinking his eyes desperately, not knowing how to react, Xiao Yibai walked towards him expressionlessly, just when Lu Zhan thought the two of them were about to pass by, Xiao Yibai pulled him away. He raised his arm, pushed open the door of the safe passage in the corridor, led him into the dark corridor, and pressed Lu Zhan against the wall with a force he had never experienced before.

Lu Zhan's brain was in a daze, and his breathing was trembling now.

"When did you learn to smoke?" Xiao Yibai asked him in a low voice.

This was the first conversation between them in more than three years. Hearing Xiao Yibai's deep and pleasant voice, Lu Zhan felt like a dream.

He took down the unlit cigarette from his mouth, and said in a trembling voice, "After going abroad."

Xiao Yibai didn't speak any more. In the darkness, his eyes seemed to be the only light that Lu Zhan could see.

Lu Zhan finally couldn't bear it anymore, his nose was sore, and he cried as if he couldn't bear it: "Xiao Yibai...yes...I'm sorry..."

He never thought that he could call out this name again in his life, and the owner of the name is standing in front of him now, with his hands against the wall, so close to him.

"I'm sorry for what." Xiao Yibai's voice was cold, "It's been three years, and all you want to say to me is sorry?"

Lu Zhan reached out to grab his collar, and put his head on his chest: "Xiao Yibai...I'm sorry for you the most in the whole world...I've lived a life that is worse than death these few years, I deserve it...but you It can be different... sorry..."

He couldn't restrain his crying, and he said a lot intermittently, but he kept repeating the phrase "I'm sorry" when he came and went.He thought that he had broken contact with Xiao Yibai for three years and let Xiao Yibai go to Somalia because of this. These two things were enough for him to feel guilty, but after hearing about Xiao Yibai's experience of narrow escape in Somalia, Lu Zhan I felt that I couldn't take it anymore, and the regret and guilt surged up, and I couldn't suppress it.

Listening to his apology, Xiao Yibai pulled him up, pressed his shoulders and pushed him against the wall: "I didn't come to hear you say I'm sorry."

Lu Zhan cried for a long time, looked up into Xiao Yibai's eyes, and asked tremblingly, "Would you still like to be with me?"

He seemed to wake up suddenly from a dream, and realized that the person in front of him could never be lost again, so he reached out and grabbed Xiao Yibai's shoulder, and asked again: "Are you still willing, are you still willing to be with me?" ?"

Xiao Yibai didn't answer, Lu Zhan choked up for a long time, and gradually calmed down.

"I see." Lu Zhan said, "I don't want your forgiveness."

"Really." Lu Zhan raised his head, the tears in his eyes quivered slightly in the darkness, "I think about it every day, as long as you are still alive, as long as you are alive."

"For so many years, I have not been able to give you anything. All I have brought you are bad things."

"I don't want your forgiveness, I'm not qualified to ask for it, and I don't deserve it either."

"I only want you to live well, and no matter where you see me in the future, you will treat me as if you never knew me."

"I will never, never affect your life again."

"Xiao Yibai, I'm sorry."

After a long silence, Xiao Yibai said, "Wipe your tears clean."

Then he turned and pushed open the corridor door and walked out.

Lu Zhan squatted on the ground slowly against the wall.

Xiao Yibai had never said such a thing before, he was always worried that no one would wipe Lu Zhan's tears outside, but now that Lu Zhan was crying like this in front of him, he asked Lu Zhan to wipe away his tears.

Lu Zhan stopped crying, and his heart seemed to be covered with ice, freezing his heart a little bit, painful and cold, but at least that heart was still beating.

It's good that you can live, even if I can't be with you anymore, as long as I see that you are still alive, that's enough.

Xiao Yibai walked back to the office, picked up the medical records, but couldn't write a single word.

Lu Zhan's crying apology rang in his ears, making his brain ache.

He didn't want Lu Zhan's apology at all, and he didn't want Lu Zhan's introspection at all. He couldn't even figure out what Lu Zhan meant by forgiveness. He only hoped that Lu Zhan could hug him tightly like before, without any scruples Said thinking about you like you.

But Lu Zhan actually said that if Xiao Yibai pretended that he didn't know him, he would never affect his life again.

It's ridiculous, Xiao Yibai thought, what is going on in Lu Zhan's mind?

Lu Zhan stood in the corridor for a long time before returning to Lijing's ward.

Li Jing was shocked when he saw his red eyes.

"What's wrong, did you two quarrel?"

"No." Lu Zhan sat on the chair, "I apologized to him and said that I would not bother him again. I was just a little sad. I was very excited when I saw him. I thought it was good that he was still alive, but in my heart I don't know why it hurts."

"Are you sick?" Li Jing looked at Lu Zhan as if looking at a fool, "What do you mean you won't bother him anymore? You two have been tortured for more than three years. Do you think Dr. Xiao just wants to hear from you?" An apology and a word not to bother?"

"Didn't you have a clever mind before, kid? Why has your work ability improved over the past few years, but your intelligence has declined?" Li Jing began to scold him frantically, "Now you should drag him and tell him what you miss. Qinghe's determination to be with him, and what you plan to do in the future. I apologize to your mother! What did you say to stop bothering him? Are you out of your fucking mind?! Who wants to listen to you? Talk about such bullshit!"

Lu Zhan was even more confused by his yelling: "Stop scolding, wait until I think about it..."

"All right, all right, you just want to go, and when Dr. Xiao is chased away by others, you can just cry there to death." Li Jing was so angry that he leaned back on the pillow, hating iron for being weak.

Someone came in without knocking.

Lu Zhan saw Lu Yu's flustered expression. His brother didn't knock on the door to enter his office yesterday because he heard the news that Xiao Yibai was still alive. Less than yesterday.

Did he make a mistake? Could it be that the relationship between his brother and Li Jing is really good?In the three years since I was gone, could it be that the two of them have become sworn brothers in Taoyuan?

"Are you okay?" Lu Yu stood in front of the hospital bed and looked at Li Jing. If Lu Zhan wasn't there, he might have started to hug Li Jing.

Li Jing glanced at him: "Are you all right? What's the matter with you two brothers, my legs are hanging so high, one asked me if it hurts, and the other asked me if I was okay, isn't it obvious, what a fart you are asking ?”

Lu Yu didn't answer, he turned to look at Lu Zhan: "You, go back to the company."

Lu Zhan: "?"

"Why, you are the boss and I am a small manager. Why should I go back when you are outside?"

"Because I'm your boss, I'm qualified to manage you. If you don't go back, I'll deduct all your salary for this month." Lu Yu didn't know why, and looked very cold, "Hurry up, all the materials and things on my desk You go and deal with it."

"..." Li Jing started to turn into a dove of peace at this time, he waved his hand, "No, you both go back, I just hurt my leg, and my mother will come over later, don't worry about me."

"No, it's not suitable for you to stay alone." Lu Yu looked at Lu Zhan, "Will you leave? Do you want a salary?"

Lu Zhan has just experienced Xiao Yibai's indifference, and now he is threatened by his brother inexplicably, this feeling is not too sour.He got up and gave Lu Yu a cold look: "I'm going to go back and tell Uncle, you're making excuses for not going back to work and staying outside, I'm going to impeach you!"

"You go." Lu Yu's tone was light, "Anyway, you don't even want your salary."

Lu Zhan slammed the door and left.

"Fuck, your brother just cried in front of Dr. Xiao, can you feel sorry for him?" Li Jing turned to look at Lu Yu.

"It's not like you don't know that he loves to cry." Lu Yu cruelly left Lu Zhan behind, and sat on the edge of the bed, "Is it painful? What do you want to eat? Also, I'll help you tidy up your clothes later. , do you have anything else to take, I'll bring it with you."

"..." Li Jing pondered for a while, "Well, there is a box of half-smoked cigarettes in my bedside table..."

"I know, I saw it when I was sleeping at your house last time, and threw it away the next day."

"Lu Yu, you bastard!" Li Jing pointed at him, "Do you know how long I've been smoking that pack of cigarettes! What's wrong with getting addicted once in a while, do you still let me live?! How can you control me as a sex buddy? It’s so wide, can you please straighten out your identity?!”

"Why can't I do it? Why didn't you think I was too lenient when you begged me to fuck you?" Lu Yu pressed down Li Jing's finger, "Be calm, the wound is easy to open when you are so excited."

Li Jing was so angry that he leaned back on the pillow again: "My wound was about to burst because of you."