Expectation

I may have done some great good deeds in my previous life, so I can always be lucky in this life.

Shortly after the organization collapsed, Akai Shuichi agreed to date me under my stalker.From that moment, I seemed to be dreaming like a dream.Happiness is like a sudden downpour in summer, which makes me feel dazed.His real smile, touching fingers, clear smell, warm temperature——

Every second, I was deepening my feelings for him.

But now—I'm panicking.

Before ten o'clock in the evening, I hid in the quilt early on the pretext of being sleepy during pregnancy.The smile that had been hanging around for a whole day was gone—everyone was congratulating and wishing me well, and Xiuyi was especially in a good mood. It is said that everyone who saw him today was smiling.How stupid.

But my heart is like a bottomless pit.I rubbed my stomach blankly.

There is a life in it.

I am really scared.

"do not be afraid."

The man sat next to me, put his arms around me gently, and kissed my temples.

...he sees it?

Too.Ever since I really started dating him, I haven't succeeded in deceiving him.

"...Actually, I am looking forward to it," I cried suddenly, and the tears couldn't stop flowing.It seems that there are as many tears shed in a lifetime, and I can't stop."I was expecting a baby," I said, sobbing.

He patted my back lightly, but I seemed to be encouraged, and cried louder, "I... really love you very much, very much."

"But... can I really be a mother..."

I was so terrified that I was going to be the worst kind of mother.

It may be just a process in life for others, but for me, it may even be regarded as a psychological shadow.

I rarely mentioned things that were still in the organization, and almost never mentioned my mother.

It seems that thinking of those...can see the ugliest, vicious and ruthless self.

"Will you still like me?" I cried and asked humbly and unsurely, holding his hand tightly.

"look into my eyes."

I cried so much that I couldn't open my eyes, and while moaning and wiping away my tears, I looked shyly at his green eyes.

It seems that my heart will be stable.

I sobbed a few more times reluctantly, and gradually stopped the crazy crying.Only now did I feel that my crying was so violent and inexplicable.

Green approached me a little bit, his deep voice seemed to be the best tranquilizer.

"Relax, I love all of you."

sweet Nothing.But he seldom said sweet words, so I wanted to cry all of a sudden, and even wanted to laugh through my tears.

"I don't know how to be a father either, let's learn together when the time comes." He said lightly, but added emphasis on "we".

Day by day, pregnancy is really a very, very hard, very hard thing.I think of my mother more and more often.

And I finally had the guts to talk about faded memories that now seem dark.

"...I don't even know her name."

Isn't it funny?As a daughter, she doesn't even know her mother's name.She only has a cold code name in the organization, and others only call her code name.The closest and most familiar person at that time was the self who was only five or six years old.There are no familiar people, let alone friends.

When he died, there was no sound, not even a grave.I have long forgotten the date of her death.

Sometimes I know that I am still nostalgic for that indifferent so-called "maternal love", and sometimes I am frightened by my own indifference, thinking that it may just be an obsession.

"But I don't think she loves me either." I casually said to Xiuyi who was washing the dishes.

His movements paused, "Why?"

...I don't remember clearly.I just remember her complicated eyes and her inconstant behavior.Every day, I was forced to learn this and that. One second, it seemed like a spring breeze, and the next second, I might think that I had made a mistake and was beaten up.It is not so much a child as a toy.

I still vaguely remember her looking at me coldly with killing intent.But I also vaguely remember her crying silently when I had a fever.

But it could also be a dream.

"...Anyway, it's just very incompetent."

I said vaguely.

"I don't think so." He finished washing the dishes, wiped his wet hands, took away the iced watermelon juice I drank, and replaced it with a cup of hot tea.

......Dog days of summer!Brother!

I was annoyed to see what nice things he could say.

"You can appear in front of me now, I am very grateful to her."

I was taken aback.Putting aside those complicated feelings towards her, I changed the subject and said, "...to put it nicely again, I'm going to blush!"

But it's true, I feel like I'll hear more sweet talk when I cry... Wait, I'm going to be a mother, I can't be so willful.

Conceived in October, I gave birth to a boy.

so ugly.

But he's the cutest boy I've ever seen. "You are cuter than when you were a child!" I said loudly.

When Xiu was young, he was really invincible and cute!But his son is of course better than blue and cuter than him.

It's called Chun.

I looked at Haru and finally admitted. "you're right."

I think of the quilt that I kicked away after my mother passed away but no one helped to pick it up again.It's not that her mother is unqualified, but that she hasn't had time to wait for me to grow up.

I can be happy at this moment because she loves me.

Xiuyi didn't understand my nonsense, he was still immersed in the atmosphere of a silly father.

"Look at his eyes, they are just like mine."

"Ah, it stinks."

======

Akai Haru looks very good-looking, with delicate features, and his eyes follow his father's.Just laughing, there are still small dimples, and the bad temper is very similar to his mother who is playing tricks.In peaceful times, the family was rich, the parents were loving, and he was smart.It seems that there is no reason for not having a child's temper.

However, he is not the only one in Akai's family playing childish temper.

"...Mom, the teacher said that the parents should dictate the words."

Che has never done these homework.In fact, she didn't even go to school properly.Once or twice, she was so curious that she flipped through his homework.But when the freshness wears off, she is not happy to help elementary school students make these messy things.

She began to teach the children badly, "You just copy it yourself." "It's okay, just follow my signature." "Oh, mom taught you how to make a cheat sheet."

Then Chi Jingchun was asked to be a parent.That day, Riche's laboratory just produced data, and Xiuyi just came back from the task.

"Mr. Akai, you can't spoil a child like this..."

Akai Shuichi: ...the pot came from the sky.

So that night, on the dining table of Akai's family: carrot rice, salt-flavored saury, scrambled eggs with onions, and cold coriander.

Both Che and Chun were picky eaters, but seeing Xiuyi's dark face, the two could only hold their noses together and eat dinner.

Chun finally felt one day that his mother really seemed unreliable.He secretly asked his powerful, calm, and omnipotent father, and told him euphemistically.The general idea is why did you fall in love with my mother? "

"..."

Akai Shuichi thought with a broken smile, why?

At the beginning, it seemed that he was still an enemy, but since he was abducted to his side, he had to take some responsibility anyway.

Later, I accidentally took charge until the end.

Some people say that love doesn't know where it started, and it goes deeper and deeper.Not so romantic and poetic, and even a little selfish and scheming.When that girl was disobedient and out of tune, he expected her to be strong and brave.But when she was really independent, he thought, it would be fine if she never grew up - she wouldn't be in pain.

Obviously there is no crime, but his life experience is bleak, and his acquaintances are scattered.But she never resented, and she didn't seem to feel bitter.So when I saw her tear, I felt very painful.Hearing her laugh softly, I feel that the world is full of joy.

Akai Shuichi just patted Haru's head, and replied with old-fashioned but true words, "You will know when you grow up."

Of course Chun felt that he was being perfunctory, so he turned away angrily.

Che poked his head out from behind the door, with the signal of "quick, praise me" written all over his face, and asked in a subtle way, "...so, why?"

Akai Hideichi didn't hold back, and laughed. "you guess?"

She blinked, and unceremoniously began boasting.

"I'm so good! Do you love me a little more~"

He smiled, "Yes."

The author has something to say: Well, let’s stop here.

After a long time... I also forgot, this story can finally come to an end.It may or may not be fixed.The first time I finished writing a novella (10,000+, let’s count it as a novella), I really feel very complicated.

When I wrote the last paragraph, I realized that it was far from my original idea.I originally wanted to write about revenge, darkness, or organization (? Anyway, I started to complain when I wrote it. In the end, it even became silly and sweet!

I won’t repeat myself and criticize how bad my writing is (crying

But I don't have the idea of ​​repairing it for the time being. No.1 said that after changing his state of mind, he felt different when he wrote it.So even though it's bad, it's still a commemoration.

So, just keep being so happy.

Thank you everyone for watching here~ See you again in the future~