Flattered, my president is too black-bellied

Hearing my words, the host froze for a moment and nodded, and then asked, "Have you been wandering for so long? Have you never returned home?"

I thought about it, and then said, "Actually, when I was in Shenzhen at the beginning, I called my family once, but my parents didn't agree with me as a son after answering the phone. So what should I say? I have no choice. Since they don't agree, forget it and stay outside."

"I've always been curious, why do your parents disapprove of you? Do you have any explanations? And for someone as outstanding as you, how could your parents disapprove of you?"

The host deliberately asked this question, I nodded, and then said, "Actually, it's embarrassing to talk about this matter, and I'm afraid that everyone's support will affect me and won't scold me, but the past is a fact after all, I should say It still has to be said."

I paused nervously, and looked at the audience who were also expecting to know and said, "I am actually gay. I fell out with my family because I like men. When I was in school, there was a childhood sweetheart. That man I I liked him very much when I was in school, and later he got married and told me that he also liked me after having a child. I had a crush on him for many years, but he suddenly said that he liked me too, and the two of them couldn't help it and had an extramarital affair , Later this incident was found out by her wife. Her wife planned to let the man's parents catch us in bed. My parents just couldn't stand this and resolutely kicked me out. In fact, I don't blame them, I also have this incident It's a big responsibility, and my dad couldn't accept the fact that I like men. At that time, my dad beat me very hard, and he didn't beat me to death. I understand the feeling in his heart, my son He actually likes men, this kind of thing, he can't accept it."

"So, I used to be a junior, and then I should be kicked out. This is the punishment I deserve."

The host looked at me and spoke for a long time before saying, "So you like men, but you don't like girls?"

I nodded and said, "Well, I'm not born with the ability to like women."

"Actually, everyone knows about the topic of homosexuality. You people generally live in a very secretive and repressed way. You don't tell outsiders about it. Do you feel that way?"

I thought for a while and said, "It used to be true, but now it doesn't. I'm almost a monk now. I don't feel feelings. I think it's good to see the mountains and rivers and live. When I put I have seen almost all the scenery in China, and I want to continue to see the scenery abroad.”

"It's just that you don't plan to fall in love anymore, right?"

I looked at her and nodded, and said, "I don't have that kind of feeling in my heart anymore. At that time, my heart was dead. And it's hard to find a willing person like me, and it's hard to be recognized by society, so I also Think about it, wherever you will wander in the future, if you are really old and can’t move! Just bury it in that piece of land.”

The host looked at me, then applauded and continued, "Actually, I think your thinking is that you may have this kind of thinking in your heart--a little hopeless, right?"

I thought about it for a while, then nodded and said, "Well, maybe I have a little bit of this idea!"

"In the future, you just don't plan to find someone you like, right?"

I nodded, and then continued to say, "Yes, I don't plan to go into the relationship mode. After all, I am getting older, and I have calmed down a lot in some things, unlike many young people who say what must be done." how."

"You have been to so many places, which place do you think is the most beautiful, which makes you feel that you will never forget it in your life."

"I think they are all beautiful, they all have an unpredictable charm. I always feel that they are bestowed by God."

"You are participating in our xxx live broadcast, is there anyone you want to meet?"

After I finished speaking, I followed the pre-arranged plan and said, "I really want to meet the man I was friends with back then. His name is Lin Xichen. We went from junior high school to university and then we got married to him. In fact, although I let go of it in my heart, but Sometimes I wonder if he's doing well."

"It feels like you are in my heart, what should I say?"

I smiled bitterly and said, "I understand... I remember that before I left, he had his own company, and the company was running very well. He was already very rich at that time, but I don't know now, after all, many years have passed gone."

"—Actually, I don't quite understand the feeling in the hearts of you people of the same sex. But after liking someone for so many years, the feelings are gone. I can still understand it when I think about that person alone."

"Maybe! People are biased in their hearts."

"Actually? Today, our program team also looked for Mr. Lin's home, but we didn't find Mr. Lin. Later, our program team learned that the Mr. Lin you mentioned has now settled in Shanghai..."

When I heard that he settled down in Shanghai, I was somewhat relieved, at least that dream was not real.He smiled and said, "Thank you, it's enough to know that he is doing well."

"Actually, although Mr. Lin can't come, we know that Mr. Lin has been here for so many years, it seems to be about ten years ago! They moved to Switzerland. They only came back from Switzerland last year, because Mr. Lin is actually the leader of a Chinese corporate giant now. The character, it can be said that he is a very powerful person, so our program team didn't just meet him whenever he wanted, and I hope you forgive me."

I nodded indifferently and said, "It's nothing, as long as he can be fine, and I don't want to disturb their lives anymore."

In the following interview, I was asked about my creation. I found out later that because I said I was gay, they cut the part where I said I was gay for fear of causing bad influence.All that remains are the other parts.

But it didn’t matter to me, and I didn’t want to defend myself. After the interview, I immediately set off and left Beijing. This place seemed to bring me only scars.

I put my luggage on my back again, and when I left, the program crew informed me that my brother wanted to see me.

I made an appointment with him in a coffee shop. When I saw him, I found that my brother had grown up and was obviously much taller than me.

When he saw me, he hugged me tightly, he couldn't help crying, and I couldn't bear to cry, he hugged me tightly, as if I would disappear if I let go, that is A deep thought of a loved one.

It took a long time, really a long time, before he looked at me and said, "Brother, I finally saw you."

"You have grown taller and matured a lot."

"Brother." He said and hugged me tightly again.

I let go of him, feeling unspeakably excited, looked at him and said, "When I see you cry, I will think of you when you were a child."

"Brother, I'm not a child anymore. I'm married and have children. How can you still call me that?"

I nodded, and said in disbelief, "I never thought you'd already be a father. Now that you're married, you should be a good father. Sit down and talk about it!"

He nodded, then pulled out his chair and sat down, looked at me and said, "Brother, I really didn't expect you to be so stubborn. Do you know how our parents and mothers have come here for so many years?"

"Don't talk about them with me. I'm not their son. I've gotten used to being alone for so many years. Don't talk about other things."

"Are you serious about severing this relationship with your parents forever?"

I looked at him with a wry smile and said, "Anyway, I'm a son who likes men, and it's useless to them. I think it's fine with me."

"Since you have said that, then you must not stop when I am talking about other things."

He settled down and said, "Do you still like that person?"

"I'm old, what do I like or don't like? Now that I have a wife and a daughter, it's been so many years, so don't say stupid things."

When he heard me say that, he froze and said, "Are you dating again now?"

"No, there is no now and there will be no future. I have booked a train ticket for [-]:[-] pm. I can't tell you anymore. You should go back too!"

I didn't give him any leeway, stood up and was about to leave.It was only later that I knew what he wanted to say to me. After I got on the train, I came to Medog for the second time, but this time I did not go directly to the village where Wang Ling lived.

Because I was afraid of hearing the news that she was waiting for me without getting married, I first went to the depths of the Medog Mountains.

For the next few months, I lived almost all in the wild.Drinking mountain springs and eating wild vegetables, sometimes I have too much lust, and when I think about it, I take off my clothes and jump into the spring water to take a bath to calm myself down completely.

After a long time, almost summer time.I just returned to the village with my many belongings on my back. In fact, I think there is nothing unworthy for my favorite painter's dream.

After I finished telling the story, I looked at Cai Lin next to me and smiled and said, "Those emotional things actually don't belong to me for a long time. What I want to do now is to combine myself with art such as art." Integrate into one, maybe you think a homosexual is not worthy of art, but I have long been out of touch with those so-called feelings, and what has been with me from the beginning to the end is art. I bring those things and that, in fact, just for To solve my physical needs, I have no other ideas, after all, it is impossible to say that there is a way in this kind of barren mountains."

Expert Lao Meng, upon hearing my long story, nodded and said with a smile, "I understand, in fact, you regard the power of emotion as the driving force of art, and you are actually quite pitiful."

Wu Mengmeng smiled, "It's okay, now I can understand, girls sometimes secretly use cucumbers to solve problems? Cai Lin, you are a straight male cancer, and you can't let others think like that."

"What nonsense are you talking about?"

Lao Meng looked at them jokingly and said, "It's nothing, don't be surprised. After all, Xiao Chen hasn't done anything bad after all."