The Witch's Bodyguard [Comprehensive Anglo-American]

Ma Linglong didn't know what kind of girl-picking experience Stark had imparted to Sirius. He seemed to be the only professor in Hogwarts who was no longer embarrassed by Umbridge. The treatment was much better, at least Umbridge didn't shut him up in his office and make Harry copy school rules or political slogans with that big enchanted quill.

This is actually an indirect violent punishment. Every time Harry writes a word, those words will be clearly engraved stroke by stroke on the back of his hand, which hurts like a knife, and then disappears. Lying", the handwriting engraved on the back of the hand becomes an incurable wound.

Before Umbridge, teachers were never allowed to physically punish students in this way, and although Professor McGonagall knew what Umbridge was doing, she could do nothing about it.

Harry seems to have begun to understand how to restrain his speech. Since Halloween, he rarely mentioned Voldemort in front of Umbridge, including things related to Voldemort, which greatly inflated that ugly woman. She thinks her dictatorship is right.

Although she still doesn't like Harry, because even if he doesn't say anything, there are still many students talking about Death Eaters behind their backs.Umbridge attributed all the faults to Harry alone, and even believed that Harry's existence was very likely to shake his position in the Ministry of Magic.If it wasn't for her crush on Sirius, who was Harry's godfather, Umbridge would probably have found ways to keep embarrassing him.

"I don't understand why you would do that." Harry said angrily while sitting in Sirius' office, "Sirius, don't you find it disgusting, in front of Umbridge, to say those more disgusting things against your will? Don't think you're serious, what did you call her, Pink Kitten?"

Sirius's office was the one used by Lupine, and he simply changed the color and shape of the decorations: "Listen, Harry, you're right, this is disgusting, I'd rather swallow a thousand A slug!" His frowning could probably kill any slug, Sirius looked a little flustered, "Also, don't mention pink kittens in front of me, I'm going to throw up."

Harry's eyes opened wider than before, and his eyes were full of confusion: "The classmates are discussing the matter between you and Umbridge. They say that you are for power, and some people say that you have a problem with aesthetics, but I know none of that, you can't like pink."

"Merlin's beard, it has nothing to do with the color." Facing a 15-year-old boy who has never been in a relationship, Sirius had a hard time telling Harry that his focus was wrong, "If it's Professor Lillian, She's cute even with pink hair, isn't she, so, boy, it's not about the color."

"What's the problem?" Harry asked ignorantly. He imagined what Ma Linglong's pink hair would look like. Harry immediately overturned the previous conclusion that pink was the color he hated the most in his life, because He felt that there was nothing wrong with pink, but Umbridge was the original sin, "I don't want to see you do something against your will for me."

Stark taught Sirius a full range of chick-picking skills, including almost all Stark-style rhetoric and inadvertent little tricks.

Sirius didn't think it was a good idea at first, he was not a delicate person, he didn't care much about girls when he was a student, and the only girl he cared about missed the opportunity because of his slowness.Now he had to face the old ugly toad/toad and put on clothes to please him, Sirius thought he couldn't do it.What's more, the old witch injured Harry's hand some time ago, and he hasn't had time to settle the debt.

It was Natasha who convinced Sirius to give it a try. She told him that attracting women's attention doesn't necessarily mean flattery or compromising. That is the lowest and most stupid way.And Stark's girl-picking teaching just perfectly escaped Natasha's evaluation. Sirius can still be himself, just need to give the other party a special look, plus unintentional teasing.

Stark knows very well what a woman in her 50s like Umbridge, who considers herself noble, desires most. She doesn't necessarily want to have a relationship, after all, she is greedy and perverted.However, no matter how elegant she is, she still longs for the taste of love, not to mention she is really vulgar.

Sirius was undoubtedly the best candidate. He came from a pure-blood family, a noble status that Umbridge highly respected, and he was extremely charming, and he was still single.Although Sirius had been in prison, the whole wizarding world knew he was wronged.Even exploiting this to tragic effect, Umbridge might even use what little bit of maternal brilliance she has left to lower her defenses against Sirius.

Sirius succeeded. In a private conversation with Umbridge, Sirius resisted the urge to overturn Umbridge's desk and tried to communicate with her calmly.In fact, Sirius felt that it wasn't communication at all, that Umbridge was talking almost the whole time, and she had enough nonsense.

Umbridge's shrill voice made Sirius clenched his fists. If Stark hadn't kept reminding him to restrain himself in the miniature headset, Sirius might have been expelled from school and even charged with assaulting government officials Back in prison.

"Did someone say you looked like a pink kitten, Professor Umbridge?" Sirius said abruptly before leaving Umbridge's office, pointing to a decorative plate covered with images of cats on the wall, and smiling Then, in an ambiguous and polite tone, he said:

"I like cats too."

Of course, these two sentences were not thought of by Sirius himself. Stark has always been keen to improvise, and he can say a hundred different words of praise to women.By sticking the headset behind Sirius' ear like a pimple, he won Umbridge's heart easily.

From that day on, Umbridge was like a young girl in love, she no longer shut them up for Harry or Hermione's occasional rebellion, especially her attitude towards Sirius, who was able to maintain The long-lasting patience to greet the old witch's enthusiasm was because Umbridge was not the kind of woman who would pounce on him as soon as she saw him, she had her superior face as the Deputy Minister of Magic.

But it is clear that Umbridge deliberately restricted female students from getting too close to Sirius, including some young female professors.

"Not for you, Harry, not at all," said Sirius, who, in fact, was for Harry's sake, and he couldn't see any reason for doing so.

Sirius seldom, or even never, did anything to achieve a certain purpose, to show favor to a woman, or a woman he hated terribly. At first, he thought that doing so would cause a great sense of humiliation, and he would definitely be very embarrassed. Give up quickly, and then couldn't help pointing at Umbridge's nose and scolding her. This was originally the worst outcome that Sirius had envisioned.Oddly enough, he didn't feel insulted, he even got a little sense of accomplishment for being able to get Harry out of harm's way, and he was willing to keep pretending,

"When I was your age, I couldn't tolerate even the slightest dislike for other people than you did. Guess what I would do?" Sirius looked at Harry and said, "I will hit him in every way I can think of, That sounds great, doesn't it, it's a huge crowd pleaser, and what could be happier than making a guy like Umbridge embarrass himself in public?"

Harry said, "That's it."

Sirius said to him with a fatherly attitude: "If I hadn't met that group of people, I think I would have done it. When I saw your hands were scarred by that woman, I couldn't wait to do it right away." Sirius is not the kind of person who judges whether someone is good or bad by appearance, but what Umbridge did is extremely annoying even if it is placed on a beautiful witch, "But the consequence of doing so is that I will Expelled, the purpose of my work here is not only to protect you, I am also a member of the Order of the Phoenix, do you want Dumbledore to have one less assistant by his side when he needs help the most?"

"But you don't have to..."

"It's very necessary." Sirius emphasized, "At first I thought it was unnecessary, but after I actually did it, I realized that it's not a bad thing to play tricks. Although it doesn't fit my style, I don't hate it. That. No, it's still annoying, but it's worth it when I know Umbridge won't do you any harm."

"No, I don't understand," said Harry indignantly. "I'm not afraid of her doing anything to me."

"Yes, I know, you are brave, you make me as proud as your father." Sirius said very patiently, "I know some people, they are fighters, very brave, and smart. They taught me How to win by avoiding fighting, although I couldn't understand it at first, I even thought it was a sign of cowardice, until they showed me that reducing unnecessary sacrifices is not a real warrior."

Harry shook his head slowly, he didn't quite agree, but he didn't know how to refute.

"It is true that some things are worth dying for, but death does not bring good."

The members of the Avengers changed some of Sirius' ideas, and it can also be said that they convinced him with their own experiences and experiences.While Stark was teaching Sirius how to pick up girls, Banner occasionally contributed some useful strategies, and even Natasha joined in the discussion of men, because she is the most authoritative woman who educates men.

Sirius is now very fond of the Avengers, of course, it is also possible that he mainly has a fondness for Natasha.

"When will it end?" Harry said with some self-reproach, because he knew that Sirius would rather wrong himself to make changes, all for him.

"I don't know." Sirius said nonchalantly, he shrugged, "There will always be an end, it may be a long time, but we can't give up."

A knock on the door interrupted their conversation.

The door was quickly opened, and Harry was relieved, he was really worried that Umbridge would find Sirius' office.

"Professor Lillian." Harry greeted, then said goodbye to Sirius and left in a hurry.

"Do you feel that Harry's temper is a little bit bad recently?" Sirius said to Ma Linglong, he opened the drawer, took out a bag of Bibi's multi-flavored beans and handed it to the girl, "I only have this in my office."

"Maybe it's puberty?" Ma Linglong said indifferently, "Potter was more manic than him when he was 15 years old." She didn't eat multi-flavored beans, but asked with concern: "It's you, are you okay?"

"There's nothing wrong with me." Sirius replied, with an indifferent attitude, "except that I may be allergic to pink in the future."

Ma Linglong did not expect that Sirius would agree to Stark's plan, which was completely out of character with him. Sirius was not a scheming Slytherin student. Although he definitely had this talent in his bones, he He has never done this before. It is impossible for Jedi to show liking to a person he hates. He wants to let the whole world know what the person he hates looks like.

Yet Sirius managed to do it, and it was a success, although he needed Stark in the headset to do the live direction at first, but after a week he was already at the limit of his charisma.

Sirius made Umbridge a little dizzy, and she even agreed to lift the suspension notice for Quidditch, even though she still didn't allow students to participate in other assemblies, and didn't allow men and women to get too close together.But at least Quidditch was kept, and it was the only thing the kids could look forward to this term.

"Do you think I'm not doing well enough?" Sirius asked, "Don't be too hard on me, I've tried my best, and now I feel like throwing up when I hear Umbridge's voice."

"I don't think so, I just think you've changed a lot, of course for the better."

"I've done enough stupid things. Really, I didn't think I was so annoying before. It wasn't until I was called 'Professor Black' by students that I really realized how hateful I was. At that time, Professor Dumbledore actually He didn't want to fire me, I really don't know how to thank him." Sirius laughed, "Looking back now, bad things happen every time I can't control myself, Snape...how did I Would have thought of tricking him into the Shrieking Shack, I'd be crazy to do that, he almost got killed for being a second Lupine or straight up, and he was right to hate me." Of course There were many classmates whose names Sirius could hardly name, some of them were dead, some were still alive.

And, Lily and James.

Yes, he should have used his brain a long time ago, and he mostly acts on instinct, like he has no brains, so he always makes troublesome problems more complicated than before.

However, Sirius at that time was still complacent about what he had done.

Ma Linglong put a palm-sized crystal ball on Sirius's desk. It was a toy in the Muggle world. Ma Linglong made some adjustments after buying it from a jewelry store.

The crystal ball was originally a winter scene, as long as you hold the ball and shake it, you can see snowflakes floating all over the sky, which is very beautiful.Ma Linglong made several small animals out of clay and put them inside, namely a big dog, two deer (representing Lily and James), a wolf and a bat.She changed winter to autumn, and the scenery in the crystal ball was a shrunken version of the Forbidden Forest. They became Animagus in the autumn of the fifth grade.

Peter Pettigrew was not among them.

"Happy birthday." Ma Linglong said, "A late gift, in fact I don't know what to give you, you don't lack anything, just an ordinary decoration." [Sirius' birthday is November 11rd]

"It's very meaningful!" Sirius said excitedly, "It would be more perfect if there was a Screaming Shack." As soon as he finished speaking, the scene in the bottle changed to the scene of the Whomping Willow and the Screaming Shack, almost A small animal ran around along the crystal bottle, and two deer were inseparable. "It's so beautiful, thank you, I like it very much."

Ma Linglong added the entire Hogwarts landscape into the crystal ball, including the public classroom where they had classes together. As long as Sirius could think of it, the crystal ball could change into what he needed.

Ma Linglong thought for a while and said, "Blake."

Sirius couldn't put it down to the crystal ball: "What?"

"I'm very happy to see your change." Ma Linglong told him, "But I still hope you take it easy, you may not understand how attractive you are."

On the way back to the dormitory, a hypocritical girlish voice came from behind Ma Linglong: "I saw you coming out of Professor Black's office."

Ma Linglong didn't look back immediately, she stood still first, and then slowly turned sideways.

Umbridge wasn't obnoxious because she was all pink and posing, or rather, not quite, and probably no one would have dared to tell her that pink wasn't a good match for someone who was both fat and short.

"Look at the diamond ring on your finger, darling," said Umbridge falsely. "I think it means you're engaged to a Muggle, I've heard."

Ma Linglong didn't want to say a word to her, she felt a little nauseous just looking at her, and she hadn't had lunch yet: "You can't see me coming out of Professor Black's office." Ma Linglong was cold Authentically, "You should be patrolling the corridors of the teaching area at this time. How many points have you deducted from Gryffindor?" She was very familiar with Umbridge's schedule, and Ma Linglong tried to avoid it every time he met Sirius. There are times when she will show up, in case Sirius' beauty trick doesn't work.

But Umbridge was still able to ask the teacher the first time, which was enough to prove that someone was monitoring Ma Linglong or Sirius.

Facing the provocative words, Umbridge kept a stiff smile and said: "An engaged woman should not whisper to single men, no, all men, I heard that Orientals do a good job in this regard .”

"I guess you've probably never left England." Ma Linglong said teasingly, "I'm amazed at your knowledge of the East. I rarely meet people who are so ignorant."

Umbridge put away his smile: "Professor Lillian, I know you are a bit powerful, but this is England, and I have many ways to kick you out of school."

"You don't know me well enough, ma'am." Ma Linglong said, and she could see that Umbridge wanted to issue an expulsion order immediately, "but I know you very well, about your birth, and Some fun little secrets."

Umbridge tried hard to keep smiling: "My parents are both wizards, Professor Lillian, it is recognized by everyone." She was very nervous, her mixed-race birth was her Achilles' heel and her greatest weakness, Um Rich tried every means to hide the truth.

Ma Linglong said: "Your father Alford Umbridge is indeed a wizard. Although he is not outstanding, he is your mother." His pale face turned an ugly purple.

"You nonsense!" she took a deep breath, "I'm not related to him by blood, he's just my cousin!" Umbridge couldn't deny that she had nothing to do with Alford, since her father used to work for the Ministry of Magic It's been a long time since everyone knew who Alford Umbridge was, and Umbridge has been asked about bloodlines by many of his colleagues.

"Your mother Ellen Cranell is a Muggle out and out." Ma Linglong didn't mean to be contemptuous, but she saw this emotion in Umbridge's eyes. She discriminated against Muggles, including her My own mother, "It's interesting. You are a half-blood, but you advertise the view of pure blood supremacy. Think about it, once this matter is exposed, will you still have a foothold in the Ministry of Magic?"

"Shut up!" She panted heavily, her protruding eyes like toads/toads were even more ugly, "You have no evidence, you can't produce any evidence, I want to sue you, you are fired!" Um Rich wand in hand, trying to cast an attack spell.

"It's you who should shut up." Ma Linglong snatched her wand easily, and then cast a holding spell on Umbridge, "Not only do I know that you are a half-breed, I also know that you want to gain status. You slept with the former deputy minister. You threatened him with this matter. If he doesn’t promote you, you will sue him for rape. Of course I have evidence. Not only do I have evidence, but I also have a way to make your story known to the world. "

Umbridge is a control freak. In her opinion, anyone and everything that challenges her authority should be punished.But now, she couldn't get rid of Ma Linglong's control, which made her feel unprecedented fear.

"Don't be nervous." Ma Linglong said, and she pretended to comfort her, "I won't stop you from whatever you want to do at Hogwarts, I'm just an insignificant history teacher, right? I hope we can get along peacefully So, if you can promise not to do anything I can't stand to Harry or anyone related to Harry, let's pretend that what happened today never happened."

Umbridge was forced to agree, and she slipped away quickly after she regained her freedom. Ma Linglong knew that she would go back to the Ministry of Magic immediately to investigate her background, and try to find Ma Linglong's clues.However, once she did that, she would find that it was impossible, and Ma Linglong had no way to handle it, so Umbridge would hate her to the bone.

Thirty years ago, when Voldemort's power was just rising, Dumbledore foresaw the severe consequences that the wizarding world would face. He established the Order of the Phoenix in his own name, allowing more like-minded people to join the rebels.Unlike the Avengers, most of the members of the Order of the Phoenix are not special, among them there are Muggles and Squibs, wizards with extraordinary talents are only a small part, even so, every member of the Order of the Phoenix Very courageous.

12 Grimmauld Place, the home of Sirius, is also the headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix. Only members of the Order of the Phoenix can see this magically hidden building.

Many people gathered here on Christmas night, the Weasleys, people from the Ministry of Magic, who used to be members of the Order of the Phoenix, had a good relationship with the Longbottoms, and of course Lupine and Sirius.

Today, there is an extra Muggle in the Order of the Phoenix, that is, Stark. Everyone, including the wizard who saw Stark for the first time, showed a strong interest in him, just like seeing a Muggle for the first time. melon time.They listened carefully to the handsome scientist about his process of combining electronic technology with magic. Stark even showed them the pulse laser of Mark's armor. He said it was enough to kill more than two wizards at once. Give him some different research materials, and he promises to continue to strengthen them.

At the beginning, some people shouted and asked Iron Man to blow up something to prove what he said was true, so Stark, surrounded by wizards, pointed the muzzle at the door, and prepared to shoot a laser cannon they had never seen before: "You guys It can be guaranteed to be repaired, right, after all, this door may not be the only one suffering.”

"Of course." Mr. Weasley said excitedly, "Hurry up, everyone is waiting for your first Christmas shot!"

Ma Linglong was the last one to arrive. She didn't go to the meeting place with Stark. Before she came, she just dealt with an urgent order.She went up to the second floor along the escalator. Ma Linglong was sure that all the guests should have arrived. When she walked into the living room just now, she heard voices.As soon as she pushed the door open, a beam of golden energy light hit her face, and then Ma Linglong heard almost screams from everyone in the room.

Ma Linglong instinctively condensed a fragile barrier, and in the next second, she was hit by the powerful force of the beam of light and rolled down the stairs.

The author has something to say:

In the original book, Ah Gou’s death was an inevitable result. He was impulsive by nature, spent his best years in prison, and had no special goals in life after he came out. He only wanted to suck Harry.Rowling said in the interview that she needs to design the death of a father-like character to let the children grow up and symbolize their departure from childhood. Agou is the best candidate. He is conceited and no one has taught him how to mature.He was not living happily, and the happiest time in his life had gone with James' departure.